Author Topic: I just want someone who will listen  (Read 1360 times)

PinKisH_23

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I just want someone who will listen
« on: January 07, 2014, 03:39:54 pm »
I need help.
Ako na yata ang pinaka magulong tao sa mundo.
Hindi ko alam ang gusto ko.
Ang dami kong gustong gawin pero hindi ko alam kung tama ba or para sa akin nga ba.

Ang sitwasyon ko ngayon:

Working sa isang supposedly work from home na trabaho pero nag ooffice sa malayong lugar since June of this year.

Monthly kung mag iba ang sched ko. Wala ring benefits dahil dapat home based nga.

Hirap na hirap na ako pero wala ako magawa at ang hirap humanap ng trabaho.

Pakiramdam ko any moment pwede akong tanggalin, as my boss would point out, no one is indispensable.

Dahil kahit paano mataas na position ko, nakakaramdam ako na may mga taong gustong agawin ito.

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong sabihin na sa inyo nalang ang position, gusto ko lang naman kumita ng maayos para sa mga binabayaran ko.

Magastos pumunta ng office namin coming from a province near Metro Manila. Matagal ang byahe, nakakapagod.

May asawa ako, walang anak at matagal tagal naring on the rocks ang relationship namin.

Hindi ko maasikaso ang idea na mag anak dahil unang una, mas madalas pang walang trabaho ang asawa ko kesa meron.

Gustuhin ko mang mag anak, di ako sure kung makakapag provide ako sa pangangailangan nya dahil stressed na ako sa trabaho,  stressed pa ako sa buhay ko.

Ilang buwan din kaming naghiwalay ng asawa ko dahil ayoko na ako lang ang nag iisip ng para sa buhay naming dalawa.

Sa ngayon, asa China sya pero di parin sya stable at kahit medyo ok na kami ulit napag iisip parin ako.

May kinuha akong bahay na 3 years ko na binabayaran, I still have 8 years more to go.

At P15,200 a month ng amortization, with my current income, sumasakto lang without savings.

Nabibigatan na ako dahil I shoulder everything. And gustuhin ko man umalis sa stressful situation sa office, hindi kakayanin ng regular work ang expenses ko.

Sa ngayon naghahanap na ako ng work out of the country. I’m hoping to find one soon as di ko na alam kung hangang kelan ako tatagal sa sitwasyon ko.

I don’t oblige my husband to cover my expenses kasi ayaw ko maging issue pagdating sa family nya na baka isipin na now na may work na sya saka ako nakipag ayos which is not the case. Dahil till now wala akong napapala sa kanya ni singko.

I am living alone in the house for a few months now at hindi ako nakakaramdam ng lungkot. Pero nung dumating ang Pasko, New Year and for the past 3 days na day off ko araw araw din akong umiiyak over a lot of things.

I have my family and friends but I don’t have the courage to let them know what I’m going through right now. Ako kasi ang palaging malakas ang loob, kinakaya ang problema.

All I want is a simple life. Pero my life turned out super complicated. I hope walang mag judge sa akin. I just want to let it all out. Hindi ko na kasi kinaya to keep everything to myself.

« Last Edit: January 10, 2014, 08:37:34 am by PinKisH_23 »
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Princess_Chill

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Re: I just want someone who will listen
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 05:11:51 pm »
Hi sis,

I hope you're feeling much better now...well all I can say is Pray...

gagaan pakiramdam mo ang you'll see the answers sa mga problema mo :)

Good luck!
To God be the Glory

kachich

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Re: I just want someone who will listen
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 06:57:39 pm »
Stressed and mood swings lang yan! sharing something from a friend. http://instagram.com/p/i0zvW5mlEU/

God bless!
"The secret of success is the consistency to pursue." -Harry F. Banks

I ♥ watching tv series, travelling and lurking in forums. I might not be able to contribute with the discussion, but at least I get to learn something from it.

aquacharly

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Re: I just want someone who will listen
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 10:40:26 pm »
Well, Sis PINKISH, at least you know you don't really need your husband, nor want him around. 
Your crying jags during the holidays --  hindi sa miss mo sya (IMO, based in your cuento).   But you cried coz you know you deserve better; you know you can do better. 

It is not healthy to be working  for a company that uses Fear to motivate it's employees. Plus, you have no benefits & it is tiring/less productive to be commuting.

YES - go abroad.  You will earn more, and be able to step back from your current issues/fears.  Abroad, ma-test mo your resiliency, focus & potential.  Go for it. But do not go abroad blindly as to not know ano pinapasukan mo, at wala kang kilala don or support system.

Good luck, Sis. Do not hesitate to get on board here when you are feeling alone. Madami dito willing to listen/help with advice.

Pray. Prayers work wonders. 
Take care.


lisse

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Re: I just want someone who will listen
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2014, 12:15:38 am »
Sis Pinkish, I don't to alarm you nor make it sound like I have a sick, twisted mind, pero I remember once reading your blog from the very beginning up until your last entry (titled "Suicide"), so I somehow have an idea of what you're going through based on your blog. IMO, you have done everything you can for your husband and for your marriage. Forgive me for saying this, pero you will be far off better without him. And good thing that wala pa kayong kids, it will be easy for you to pack up your bags and go and start anew. Maybe it's not really meant to be, maybe you both just need to learn some very valuable life lessons. We'll never know, but I know one thing: you are strong, you have the skills.

SO if you wanna cry, then go ahead. If you wanna pity yourself, do it. As long as you know when to stop, as long as you know better than to fall in the bottomless pit of putting yourself down. After a good cry to God, you'll feel better. And like whats is Aquacharly said, pray. Pray for clarity, pray for guidance. Pray for His help.

Working abroad for you sounds good. Go for it. But be careful and don't let anybody treat you again like how your husband and your current employer do.

Good luck!

pan.ian4ever

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Re: I just want someone who will listen
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2014, 01:50:57 pm »
Ganun talaga Sis pag ikaw yung tipo na strong woman, parang magiging hesitant ka talaga magsabi ng problems mo sa mga taong concerned at nagmamahal sa'yo. But it's ok, h'wag mo lang isali si Lord, be open to him. Never hesitate. Try to have a conversation with him, kahit wala mang literal na response, ilabas mo lang. He's listening naman. And cry! Shed tears once in awhile. Ok lang yan.
Ako based on experience kasi, pag hirap na hirap na ako at sobrang stressed na ako, I cry. Yung tipong buhos talaga hanggang sa makatulog ako. Pagkagising ko, medyo bumubuti na yung pakiramdam ko, hindi na masyadong stressed.
Always pray, pray, and pray. Pwede din na you write down your everyday emotions. Tipong diary ba sya na parang letter din. Yung ilalabas mo thru writing yung emotions and stress mo. Basta don't lose hope and never ever think of doing something bad to yourself or others. And still, be thankful, mas blessed ka pa rin. Yun na lang isipin mo. Ok?! Aja Sis :)
we are a perfect couple, we are just not in a perfect situation...

Our purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them...


Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle...

 


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