I just dont understand...

[Pink_Sugar]

^in the end naghiwalay rin kayo sis? Sayang naman at hindi naayos kasi hindi biro yung 10 yrs talaga noh? Binalikan nya ba ang mistress nya?
Nung nag break kami actually nung nagka ayos na kami eh inalok nya ako if gusto ko na daw ba magpakasal pero tinanggihan ko muna kasi alam ko na dipa sya ready. Pero mahal ko talaga bf ko, alam kong mabait naman syang tao yun nga lang mukhang di nya kaya ang loneliness tapos ang nagfefeel pa nya ay na take for granted sya which is totoo nung diko pa natituklasan na naghahanap na sya ng comfort sa feeling ng ibang babae na willing icomfort sya.
I am hoping na sana hindi na maulit, kasi alam ko na nasaktan din sya nung nakita nya na nashattered ako dun sa nangyari. Btw im 3 yrs older than my bf. nalungkot ako nung time kasi 31 na ako at for sure eh mahihirapan akong makahanap ng new relationship kasi sobrang pihikan ako at baka hanapin ko yung ugali nya sa iba na mabait at maalaga at gwapo pa kahit 1 dekada na kami. Bakit kasi di nya naiwasan ang tukso. Hehe
I just dont understand... Na akala nya eh hindi ko mabubuko ang ginawa nya. Lol. Napahiya tuloy din sya kay girly kasi nagpakilala syang walang gf. Pero diko naman inaway yung babae, pero nung una gusto ko na silang patayin sa isip ko. Haha tinanong ko lang sya ng sobrang daming tanong, pero willing naman sya sumagot kasi intresado daw talaga sya sa bf ko kasi akala nya walang gf eh nung nalaman nya na meron eh feeling nya naloko din sya kasi husband material na daw talaga hinahanap nya, pero mahirap yun kasi kasal sya sa una nya asawa. Pero nagtataka ako bakit kasama pa rin nya sa bahay kahit hiwalay ng kwarto? Di si bf nag iisip may pagka t**** rin.

[Girltalker2]

^in the end naghiwalay rin kayo sis? Sayang naman at hindi naayos kasi hindi biro yung 10 yrs talaga noh? Binalikan nya ba ang mistress nya?

Oo. at hindi ako nanghihinayang. Winish ko nalang sana mas maaga ako natauhan. Hindi lang yun 10 years, it was like 20+ years together.  One lesson learned kasi - in a relationship, kahit gaano katagal na kayo, never ka dapat manghinayang kung miserable talaga ang buhay mo.  Syempre worried ako nung maghihiwalay na kami, pero he gave me no choice.  Nalaman ko na may pangalawang anak na sya, at talagang dream siguro nya maging parang Estrada or Lucio Tan. So sabi ko never mind.  Mamatay talaga ako ng maaga sa kunsumisyon.

When I left him, takot pako, kasi di ako sanay nang mag isa. Growing years ko ba naman as a teen (14yo) sya na lagi ang takbuhan ko, tapos eto ako medyo may edad na, starting all over again.  One of the biggest decisions I made in my life, but so far, never ako nagsisi, and super nagpapasalamat pako that God gave me the courage and let me see things clearly.

Nung nag break kami actually nung nagka ayos na kami eh inalok nya ako if gusto ko na daw ba magpakasal pero tinanggihan ko muna kasi alam ko na dipa sya ready.

What is it with men?  Bakit di sila marunong mag isip kung ready na sila o hindi?  Hindi pa nga sila ganun ka mature siguro. Ipa attend-an mo ng mga relationship seminars para matuto how to nurture and care of his relationship with you.

Pero mahal ko talaga bf ko,

Mahal mo ba ang sarili mo to subject yourself to wait and trust again. 
Pero another lesson in love - basta mahal ka ng guy at willing sya mag effort, you can still rebuild your relationship.  Yung totoong mahal ha, hindi sa salita lang.  I think this is what makes all the difference. Yung ex ko kasi di naman nag eeffort.  So talagang dapat lang hiwalayan. If your guy is making efforts, baka worth giving him a chance.

Btw im 3 yrs older than my bf. nalungkot ako nung time kasi 31 na ako at for sure eh mahihirapan akong makahanap ng new relationship kasi sobrang pihikan ako at baka hanapin ko yung ugali nya sa iba na mabait at maalaga at gwapo pa kahit 1 dekada na kami.

Nung nags struggle ako sa marriage ko, ang unang iniisip ko din na, I don't think I would be capable to love anyone else din naman. Since I am not after looking for another partner, might as well stick around.  Pero kakaiba din kasi ang ex ko, hindi naman tumigil.  Walang remorse. Yes apologies and I love yous were given pero hanggang salita lang.

Sa bandang huli, hindi ko din nga kinaya.  Sobra na kasi.  Pinagbigyan ko na sila when they had a child.  Tapos masusundan pa ng next. Wala naraw sila, pero actually meron pa.

So after namin maghiwalay, I was so bitter.  Talagang galit ako sa mundo and just focused on my work and development of my kids and myself. It was after 2-3 years when I started dating again. Dun ko nafeel na maging teenager ulit, discovering about myself that I did not know about (my likes/dislikes), and getting to know more about the opposite gender. Late bloomer ikanga.  Then 2 years later heto ako, may BF nako. Capable din pala ma inlove pako ulit and I feel so blessed around him kasi I could never ask for anything more - he is sobrang maalalahanin.  Kapag may nasabi ako na sad ako dahil sa nasabi nya, pero kako wala yun it's just me - lagi nya imake sure na hindi ako sad, etc.  We have so many things in common, we love dogs (my ex hated kaya wala kaming aso before sa bahay), we love sports, we love travelling, we love discussing about current events, we love board games, we dont like watching TV as much, etc. and most of all, he brought me and my kids closer to God.  I can go on and on but tuwing naiisip ko ito sobra akong nagpapasalamat kay Lord for giving me another chance to love and to feel so much loved.  Nung nag uumpisa palang nga kami sa relationship namin, iniisip ko na kahit hindi kami magtagal, I am just so thankful na nameet ko sya, that such men do exist. He gave my life a total new meaning. Kahit hindi sya maging partner ko for life, I know I am still capable of loving and being loved, despite my broken marriage. 

[momentum]

^ how inspiring yung story mo sis 

[kaiz]

^^sana ako din sis, like mo makakahanap pa ng love.. ng taong makakasama despite sa broken marriage

[Girltalker2]

^ and ^^ nakakatakot din magsalita ng tapos, basta I keep an open mind lagi. Salamat din sa words of encouragement ninyo at ng iba dito sa GT.  Marami din nga akong natutunan about loving myself.  Importante mahal mo ang sarili mo, para mas madali kang makahanap ng nararapat para sayo.  Kasi minsan ideal na nga yung guy, pero kung hindi kayo compatible, hindi rin magl-last ang relationship. 

^ So sis, talagang ginawa ko syang parang project.  Kung makakahanap ka ng partner para sayo, dapat kilala mo muna ang sarili mo. anong klaseng lalaki ang tatagal sa ugali mo at anong klaseng ugali nya ang matatagalan mo, etc.  Magkahalong research/tyaga, pagdadasal at patience talaga.  But as I have said, walang guarantee naman ang future. Basta importante alam mo you are always doing your best, at masaya ka sa choices mo in life, go lang.   

[summerchic]

may mga guys lang talaga na na nag-co-collect ng babae. The more women, mas (feeling) gwapo ganun? 

[purplegravity]

^My observation is mahilig sila magpayabangan kung ilan ang mga girls nila.  Yeah, feeling proud but they should be ashamed.  Paano na lang kung may mga anak sila na babae tapos ganun mangyari sa anak nila? I believe in karma.

And may mga lalaki naman na they remain faithful.  Sila yung dapat ipagmalaki at tularan.

Same goes with the girls.

Just my thoughts. Doesn't mean to offend anyone.

[Pink_Sugar]

Meron din namang mga guys na patago na maraming girls, haysss.

[argento]

Di lang naman guys gumagawa nito babae din mas worst nga lang. Ex: enzo pastor case

[chai88]

I don't understand it either...
I just recently caught my partner flirting with his former officemate.
At first ang yabang pa e. Kesyo paranoid daw ako. Masyado daw ako nag de dwell sa past. E wala naman akong proof na nambababae nga siya. Pero noong nabuko ko na hindi na nakapagsalita.
Tapos ang sasabihin lang saken is sorry... Sorry kasi g**o lang daw siya... Na wala lang naman yun. na basta katuwaan lang? Na wala lang naman daw yun. Na ako naman daw talaga. Na hinding hindi na talaga mauulit. Hinding hindi na talaga...

Ang saken lang naman, paano kung hindi ko nalaman agad? Paano kung hindi ko naagapan at lumalim na yung landian nila nung girl, saan sila ngayon? Katuwaan pa rin bang maituturing yun?

[ziontrec]

^
cheating is never an accident, its a choice.

should it be considered a "katuwaan?" i dont think it can be never be thought of as katuwaan...

hindi na mauulit, i hope hindi na nga maulit.

kinda had the same issue when i learned na someone was flirting with my gf, ang reasoning lang nya hindi naman daw nya control [textspeak!] pagiisip at actions ng ibang tao, i just told her yes tama [textspeak!] pero what she has control and is accountable is her words/actions.

so far we were able to sort things out. so far.

[ziontrec]

Cheating doesnt mean u have to have sex with another person. Once u started deleting messages so your partner wont see them, then you are already there.

yup. totally agree with you.

[telekikay]

it's unfair to say it's man's nature to cheat. invalid generalization yan. girls do it too. look around. if opportunity presents itself, grab it. ganun lang ka simple.

[chai88]

I guess it all depends on a person and their values and the family where they come from.

And i guess one of the many reasons why men collects women is to prove one point, something in their ego.

For women naman, usually women who looks for love and attention ang usually nabibiktima nito.

I have been cheated on. And i have been the other party too. That was when i was still young, dumb and stupid.

I cheated on my bf because i was insecure. And i want all the love and attention men are giving me. My bf cheated on me too (ibang bf) maybe because i pushed him to do it. He wasnt happy and i kept on stepping on his ego. So actually ngayon ko lang naisip, maybe i turned him to be that kind of man. Kasi i always tell him bad things. Things na mahuhurt ego nya. And he goes to those women probably to prove na what i am telling him is not true. Probably to boost his ego. This happened ten years ago. Because again, i admit how dumb i was in my younger years.

Then i got hurt. Them i came to realize what i did and decided to change my perspective. I decided to be a better person.

Back to topic, it all boils down how you were raised as a kid. What your values and morals are.

Kaya nga in looking for a partner, u must know their values, and what they believe in. Sa panahon ngayun mahirap na makahanap ng matinong lalake.

These guys do these things kasi they know they can get away with it. Pinapatawad kasi. Mga babae kasi mahilig magpatawad. Konting drama. Konting sorry ok na agad.  Pero gagawin pa rin nila ulit yan unless they learned the lesson.

And the only way i know na matutunan nila yung lesson is pag hindi sila pinatawad ng mga mahal nila sa buhay. Pag iniwan sila. Yun talagang no turning back. How else can they learn the lesson diba.

Hay ang sad ng life.

I like just how you explained it... I totally agree with you.