The Bro Code

[Solana]

There's this guy and he likes me. We started getting to know each other. We sometimes spend evenings together just talking until late night hours. I always find myself smiling at his texts/chats and looking forward for the next time I see him. Then I realized that I like him too.

Everything was fine... until one of his friends confessed to me. I only talked with "the friend" one or two times. And apparently that was enough. He said he assumed that I like him too (wtf right?). But I told him that I like someone else. For a moment it was settled... until THEY talked.

He and I talked. I remember him being confused. I was too. He told me that he likes me, that it's growing into love. And that I might be the one for him. But then he asked me which one would I choose, myself or my family. I said family. I didn't get it at first but then it hit me... He and his friends are like family. And I was being dumped even before the start of an official relationship. After a moment of silence, he asked me if I like him. I said yes. Now that got him into thinking again. I can see that he's having second thoughts. But still, I'm no match. He still picked family. The reason is he doesn't want his friend to get hurt just like before. And that maybe I'm better off with his friend than with him. I was too stunned to react. Then he said "Pakitandaan kahit kalian di magbabagong gusto kita. Pero sa ngayon di muna". Before we part ways, he hugged me really tight while repeatedly saying "Sorry". I returned the hug. Then I went to my room and cried myself to sleep. That's the first time I cried over a guy when I promised myself not to... not ever. I don't even know if it's a goodbye. And I can't help but hope that it's not. (Wow I'm such a loser.)

Try as I might, I really can't see myself with "the friend" in a romantic relationship. He's pretty determined but I just can't. It's like he's the only one that's happy after everything. He'd always text/chat like nothing happened. And he knew EXACTLY what happened. (Hello? I just got my heart broken. Can you please leave me alone?)

[babyboo.0326]

i think you just have to tell him directly that you don't like him and that you like his friend more but because his friend values him so much that he sacrificed his own feelings for him. and because of that you are not in the mood to be talking nice to him when you are really upset about the thing between the 3 of you. (just my 2 cents, though) 

have you watched the movie Something Borrowed?

the guy you like sounds like the main character where she always sacrifice her feelings for her friend since childhood just to make her feel good because they're like sisters.

[zarazan]

Sis, imagine yourself in the guy's position. You and your bestfriend likes the same guy. Somehow, I think you'd do the same, right?

Now, from what I know about the "bro code", most guys would resort to "may the best man win". Siguro may sinabi si other guy that made your guy think he deserves you more. Siguro sinabi niyang gustong gusto ka niya talaga. So si guy mo napa-isip if possible he could like you more than he does and could treat you better.

Kung kayo man talaga nung guy mo, eventually it will work out, trust me. If he realize he likes you THAT much, he would fight for you too. But then if payag lang siya na yung bestfriend niya magpa-tuloy sa iyo, then think twice again if siya ba talaga deserving of you.

Give it time.

[Awesomecakes]

I think it's best if you'll tell to the guy who likes you what you really feel. If you're not comfortable with him, then say it. It may hurt him, yes, but it will help him to set his expectations ngayon pa lang.

And for the guy you like, if he's really into you, he'll fight for you no matter what. Let's say ma-hurt yun friend niya but eventually the friend will understand naman.

Almost 8 years ago, there's this guy who's into me. We were college back then. He's a shy and silent type of guy so parang hindi ko masyado gusto and I only see him as a friend lang talaga. Usually he'll ask his "best buddy" on gift ideas pa for me. Then a few months, years passed, it turns out that his best buddy fell for me and ended up courting me. I don't know paano ang naging usapan nila or if they had conflicts pero the thing is, he fight for what he really feel. It's been 7 or 8 years na since that happened pero we're good friends naman ngayon. And yes, his "best buddy" and I have been together for 6 and a half years na.

[shadow_man]

Me and my best friend have this wing man set up, we are either wing man, if the lady wants the other, the lead guy would slow down and help build up the other guy. we would be very happy pag successful we dont care who gets the attention of the lady.

We only have one golden rule. Never to fall in love with the other guy's ex

[Naughty^GuRu]

@Solana: how young are you and "the guys" ?

if you guys are teens, then i think acceptable yung nangyari. when i was in highschool nagbibigay din ako sa friends ko kung alam kong gusto nila yung girl.

pero kung hindi na teens yung guys, then i think yung dilemma niya is pathetic and immature. here's an honest advice: dump them both! you don't deserve any of them. yung guy na may gusto sayo and hindi mo naman gusto, he's a spoiled brat and immature para hingin ka niya sa friend niya. and the guy that you like, he's pathetic and loser. kung gusto ka niya he should pursue you even if it means na magalit sa kanya yung friend niya. and a friend always understands, kung gusto ka niya talaga kakausapin niya si guy A (yung hindi mo gusto na guy) and sabihin niya yung feelings niya. and ikaw, tell guy B, na it's him you like. hindi ka ba naooffend sa ginawa sayo ni guy B? na para kang "thing" na gusto hiramin or gamitin ng friend niya kaya ibibigay nalang niya? and isipin mo to, kung sa ngayon palang pinapaubayan ka na ni guy B sa friend niya because of bro Code, eh paano kung maging BF mo si guy B, then may lakad sila ng barkada niya, if he value his friends (or what they call family) more, then hindi ka niya gagawing priority, ever!

move on and find a mature guy for you. yung ipaglalaban ka. sorry ah, ang pathetic lang talaga ni Guy B, even hugging you and telling you na never magbabago feeling niya for you. that's weak.

[Observer54]

  tantanan mo na ang dalawang yan. baka bandang huli my husband's lover ang peg mo!

[ritzyritz]

tantanan mo na ang dalawang yan. baka bandang huli my husband's lover ang peg mo!

LOL pero AGREE ko.