Maid Dilemmas

[hunny_ally]

Post here your dilemmas with your yaya/household help. Hopefully others can give their 2-cents

To start off...

Im not really sure if this is a family or yaya issue. Some background: my current yaya has been my aunt's long time yaya. I hired her after my aunt and her family migrated to another country. Whenever they're visiting Manila, they would ask me from time to time to borrow the yaya to help them with small, housekeeping jobs in their condo. The yaya usually schedule this on her days off so it is not a big issue for me.

A couple of months back, my cousin emailed me asking if she can borrow the yaya for her beach wedding this New Year's Eve. I didn't promise her anything and merely told her I'll see if I can find a temp to replace the yaya the couple of days she will be gone. My cousin did not follow up anymore so I assumed she's no longer interested in borrowing yaya therefore I didn't even bother looking anymore for a temp.

Lo and behold, yaya told me this afternoon that her former alaga, my cousin, informed her yesterday that my cousin already got her a ticket for her wedding in an island in the south and will be staying there for a week. And yes I learned this from the yaya and not from my cousin nor from my tita. They did not even have the decency to ask permission first. Feeling ko tuloy I was pushed against a wall by her doing a sneaky on me. I can go on and on how this pissed me off big time but this is a thread re Domestic Help issues

Anyway, letting her go for a week is impossible for three main reasons:

1) I have 3 kids (6yo, 3yo and 1yo) with only 2 yayas/all around-help. Our current setup is already hectic. I even do household work myself. With the added work because of reunions and holiday celebrations, we will be completely incapacitated if one of my two yayas will be gone.

2) my two youngest kids do not like the other yaya. So whenever I have to errands or even to take a bath or heed the call of nature, it is the more senior yaya who looks after them

3) my husband is starting a very challenging new job on the first working day of 2014. He will be in an insane shift plus lots of traveling. He's not getting any vacation time in the few months and this Christmas break is his last hurrah before all the craziness. Paano pa siya makakapag pahinga ng maayos if the last week of the year ganito setup namin.

My husband and I talked about it. For peace-sake's I want to allow her. Eh kapag hindi, primera contravida na naman ang papel ko. I was able to convinced my husband but under one condition: the yaya needs to find a temp replacement. No temp replacement, she can't go. But if she insists, she'll have to tender her resignation. With the holidays, it will be miracle if makahanap siya. I'm thinking of letting her go to the wedding without any strings attach. One week without the yaya is lesser evil than going through the rigors of looking for another one.

What should I do? Will I be violating the Kasambahay Law if I force her to tender her resignation?

[17arci]

^ VERY similar topic:

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,274020.0.html

Please post there instead of creating new thread.

[hunny_ally]

^not really. I've been posting on that thread and it's really more for venting out your frustrations with your maids...not exactly for asking advices for specific problems.

I'll let the moderator decide on what to do with the thread (whether to let it stay or merge it other existing threads).

[sugardrop]

Helper namin, mahilig magparinig ng pameryenda ka naman, pa-coke ka naman. May sweldo naman sya. Ultimo pang-yosi nya iuutang pa. Masyado bratinella na sumasagot pa sa mommy ko. Sabi pa ako lang daw pinapakinggan nya kasi ako nagpapasweldo. Aba! Sinubukan pa kami pag-awayin ng tita ko. Then nung naglinis si tita ng bahay since sa Jan 2 pa ang balik nya, may mga nakitang singit-singit na upos ng yosi, balat ng candy, pati panty nya kung saan saan.

Tapos nalaman ko kung ano ano palang paninira sinasabi samin sa mga relatives pa namin mismo.

And ang press release nung bago pa lang sya sa amin, never pa sya nakapag-work here in Marikina. As it turns out, since 2007 pa pala sya nagwowork dito and sa friend pa ng pinsan ko nag-work. Eventually inamin din pero I wonder kung ano ba tinatago nya.

Ang hirap pagsabihan, always reason nya is wala daw sya kasi magulang kaya ganun sya. Hello? 42 na sya, yun pa din excuse nya. And ano sya, singaw? Tapos pag inutusan, isang oras bago makabalik, nakikipagchismisan pa. Bakit daw sya inoorasan.

Then nung nagkita kami sandali ni boyps para kunin yung iaabot ko, the following day aba, sinabi pa sakin na while naliligo sya, naiimagine daw nya so boyps. Di man lang nahiya. Then lumalabas ng naka-tapis sa oras na umaalis tito ko. Di naman sya lumalabas ng ganun dati.

Humahanap lang kami ng kapalit para goodbye na sya kasi stress ang inaabot namin sa kanya.

[ceejhei]

my yaya super okay na sana siya. bihira mag day off at mabait. minsan may topak at mahilig makisali sa usapan. well, what do we expect wala naman pinagaralan. anyway..

nag day off nung december 29 and promised to be back on the 31st until now wala siya. di macontact, minsan nag rring ang phone minsan nakapatay. nagparebond pa nga bago nag day off pero feeling ko makikipag kita sa textmate niya yun. and guess what totoo nga, kasi nung nagpa pedi ako dun sa parlor i asked the gays at true nga na di kapatid niya ang pinuntahan sa nueva ecija kundi yung bf. mukhang nag asawa na.

nakakainis lang kasi lahat kami apektado. work ko lalo, pumasok lang ako ngayon to file an LOA. sakit sa ulo talaga. di mo na alam kung anong klaseng pakikisama pa ang gagawin sakanila.

[sistah!]

sis hunny_ally, what happened na with your maid?

i have a problem now, but more with a friend. i get my help from an agency. so far, even if the maids only stay for the duration of the contract (6 months), at least they finish their stint. anyway, i have a friend who needed a yaya so i gave her my contact sa agency and they gave her someone. problema lang, the yaya she got specifically told her that she would only stay for 6 months kasi may aayusin daw sya at the end of the year. tinanggap naman nya yun. so when the time came that she needed a new yaya, she became very demanding sa agency. as in inaaway na nya lagi yung contact ko. in the interest of protecting their business, the agency always calls me to make sure na our relationship is ok. so ganun lang kami.

a month ago, i needed a new yaya. the agency gave me one na. but my friend, wala talaga sila binibigay. i think it's because my friend is demanding and always says that if the one assigned to her is less than stellar, she would move heaven and earth to close down the agency. i kinda think the agency does not want to provide for her anymore. so ngayon wala pa rin syang yaya and i think, sa akin sya nagagalit. nakakahiya din actually kasi i really didn't know that ganun ang ugali nya. but just the same, ayoko naman na magkaron kami ng gap over issues sa maid.

[Princess_Chill]

sistah!

well I think kausapin mo nalang din sila agency na hindi mo naman akalain na ganun klase friend mo...

obvious naman na ayaw na siya talaga bigyan kasi ibang level ang pagka demanding hehe


eto naman dilemma ko....


I have a former HH/yaya last aug 13 nagpaalam siya na uuwe na siya kasi na aksidente daw iyong live in partner niya. wala ako reklamo sa HH ko na ito kasi super ok..sa lahat ng bagay...hinanap niya ako ng kapalit bago siya umalis...

iyong pinalit niya saakin medyo hindi ako kampante and umalis na siya sakin pero sister niya pinalit saakin....ok naman din iyong sister and since sept nasa amin na siya...iyon nga lang hindi siya marunong magluto...so pag uwe ko galling office I need to cook food pa para kinabukasan may makain sila...

here's the problem....like bumalik saakin noong previous ko na HH sabi ni hubby baka naman pag tinanggap naming siya uli bigla naman tiyoin na magpaalam nanaman umuwe bigla after a few months..e paano pag nakahanap na work iyong yaya naming ngayon at ayaw na bumalik samin kung paalisin naming siya ngayon...

iyong previous na HH wala na ako problem sa kanya siya lahat pati luto at palengke vs sa HH ko ngayon wala din ako prob pero di nga lang runong mamalengke at luto...hmm

di ko tuloy alam kung tanggapin ko luma yaya then ihanap ko current yaya ko or just stick with my current yaya nalang kahit na di siya runong luto...

I need your 2 cents

[hunny_ally]

^take the lesser evil...it's better to have a yaya who doesn't know how to cook than finding yourself without one one day. Puwede naman ma-train ang pagluto and pamamalengke IMO.

With regards to my own maid dilemma, I eventually allowed her to go. Eh kaysa sa mawalan ako ng yaya. Lesser evil so to speak. Anyway, when she takes her annual vacation in April/May I'm letting her go for good. Obviously her loyalty is placed on someone else. Ayoko ng ganitong drama every time my relatives are in town for a vacation.

[tannya]

ang hirap hirap naman nang makahanap ng helper/yaya ngayon..

very bad experience pa sa last kong helper.di tumupad sa usapan ng pagbalik nya sa house namin.eh ang mga tao syempre may kanyakanyang business sa bahay.expecting sila din sa date ng pagdating ng helper pero walang bumalik...

[khriseeee]

Has anyone experienced a yaya being pirated by a friend or acquaintance? I dunno I sometimes feel paranoid when I see them talking to my yaya. Someone in my office asked me so many questions about my yaya (I admit, I kinda raved about her) and when our kids met up I got paranoid when I saw her talking to my yaya.

[Princess_Chill]

@sis hunny

thanks for your advice..well iyon nga din sabi sakin ni hubby na baka one day e mawalan kami ng yaya we will end with no one so ill just train the current yaya to cook konti konti. saka mas ok narin si current kasi iba loyalty niya saamin and at the same time e dalaga siya...alam mo kung ayaw niya na sayo if mag paalam na uuwe dahil me sakit si ganyan at ganoon...

@sis khrisssy

ako na encounter ko na iyong na pirate iyong HH ko dati by an officemate. Well later part ko na nalaman pero it ended up na hindi din tumagal sa kanya iyong maid...well may problema nga iyong maid na iyon kasi siniraan ako sa mga kapitbahay bago siya umalis...

well ang paalam niya sakin is uuwi nalang kasi namimiss daw iyong mga anak niya..kasi this HH was referred to me by my officemate too then nong nag paalam iyong HH so isoli ko na siya sa nag refer then what happened is iyong isang ka officemate naming kinausap iyong nag refer na huwag muna pauwiin but instead I try muna sa kanila..well no hard feelings kasi di naman ok iyong HH e hehee..

[sistah!]

Has anyone experienced a yaya being pirated by a friend or acquaintance? I dunno I sometimes feel paranoid when I see them talking to my yaya. Someone in my office asked me so many questions about my yaya (I admit, I kinda raved about her) and when our kids met up I got paranoid when I saw her talking to my yaya.

I don't remember this well because I was young. But my mom said one of my yayas, when I was kid, was pirated by our next door neighbor. Medyo nag-away daw sila ng kapitbahay namin that time.

It's not really a case of pirating someone's HH, but about a year or so ago, I found myself suddenly without help. as in umalis yung yaya ko na basta basta and wala ako kapalit. we went for a week and a half na walang yaya kaya absent ako ng absent. anyway, yung naging yaya ng sister in law ko eh nangungulit sa MIL ko naghahanap ng work so kinuha namin. she only stayed with us for a week dahil hindi sya type ng anak ko. sya na mismo ang nagpaalam umalis. buti na rin kasi I would have let her go din naman. saklap din, sa 1 week na nandon sya sa amin, ang dami nya sinabi na nega tungkol sa SIL ko. kaloka.

[khriseeee]

Yeah I don't want them telling others what goes on in our home. Not that there's anything bad, but it's private dba?

Our condo admin actually discourages HH or yayas moving from one employer to another in the building. Builds animosity among the unit owners. So all my HH/yayas who have left I've banned from the building.

[babykat]

Last Dec. 1, we found a new kasambahay and I can say that she's super ok.  Mabait, matiyaga and masipag.  She even got along with my mom, which is not easy to do, kasi my mom is in her 90's and confined to a wheelchair and would have temper tantrums if she doesn't get her way. She's also quite heavy pero need buhatin to transfer her to and from her bed.  This kasambahay is also nice to my dogs.  My bunsong shih Tzu adores her.  I would have wanted her to stay for years.  Di rin sya nagaadvance and very masipag.

Problem ko now is she told me this morning that she's going home na.  Pinapauwi na daw ng mom nya who's in her 60s pero may problem sa liver.  Last night lang din sya tinext so di rin sya sure how her mom is doing.  Sakto naman na my mom is sick din.  Nakiusap ako na wag muna sya umalis until makahanap ng kapalit nya and she's agreed to it naman, I think.

Problem ko now is where to find kapalit nya.  I'm hoping nothing is really wrong with her mom's health kasi kawawa din naman sya.  If's it salary issue, we can always negotiate naman.  Hirap kasi humanap ng marunong magalaga sa mom ko.

[patriciaheart]

I solved our maid dilemma by FIRING HER, my husband fired her, tapos. She is disrespectful to the other maids and very chismosa. She acts like an amo as well and to think na mas matanda sya saamin ni hubs, ganun ganun na sya umasta. She is very uhmm "Pobreng mata pobre" kesyo sa Ayala Alabang sya galing,, whatever, basing from her stories, once lang sya dun nag trabaho and minura mura sya dun so I don't know what she is trying to b**** about na porque hinde kasing exclusive ng AA village namin (hello exclusive parin yung sami ano) at "poor" daw kami bec of that, whatever kung poor kami ano tawag sakanya. She just got fired TODAY so I am still pissed about what she has said about us, but anyway, as with everything, what you do comes back to you.  I just hope ma hire nga sya sa Ayala Alabang and live happily ever after as as katulong. bow.

[mrs.jack sparrow]

^haha. Had some katulongs like that as well. Bragging about having worked in ayala alabang. E why not go back there if she so wants ayala alabang?

[vain_kixie]

Okay na sana my helper. She disinfects the house like how I would it to be. Linis ng linis, lysol there and everywhere. Kaso ewan instict ko lang na she is getting some of our stuff. I went to her room and saw some of my stuff. Cheap stuff lang naman pero it still not hers. Dunno if shes making kupit money too since kalat kalat ang small bills namin ni hubby around the house. How do i get rid of her? She's the niece of the yaya of my aunt kaya i dunno how to fire her.

[patriciaheart]

You can say na, you can't afford extra help for the time being. Wala naman sila magagawa pag ganun eh.. now since she is related to somebody malamang news will spread,, wag mo na sabihin na nag petty theft sya kahit yun naman talaga kasi away yan pag nalaman ng mga katulong buti kung aunt mo lang makakaalam. Kahit maliit na bagay theft yun, tinatago ba nya sa bag or nakalagay lang sa bedside table? kasi puede nya i deny since nakikita naman daw etc... anyway uncomfortable yan at yan yung mga sungay na dapat putulin habang maaga kasi masasanay sila. May replacement kana ba? yun pa i consider. Pag nalaman nila na kumuha ka ng bago with the reason na you can't afford eh you can say the maid accepted the job at a lower price.

[vain_kixie]

Thanks for the tip sis. Getting rid of her today and changing my locks too. Hay i have no replacement yet but i couldn't sleep last night ng maayos thinking na a thief is in my house. Nawawalan din ako ng cash in foreign currency and im trying to look for it muna bago ako magbintang. We left for the states and japan for 6 weeks and siya lang ang naiwan sa house. Hay sayang mabait and malinis pa naman siya klepto nga lang kaasar. Mga makeup ko pa kinikuha, feeling niya siguro hindi ko mahahalata sa dami ng makeup ko. Pati stock ko ng eye makeup remover kumuha ang loka ng isa. May God help me on how to nicely let her go.

[slovy]

Sissies paano po sabihin sa helper na kailangan na nyang magretire na di po sya maooffend? Yung helper po kasi nila hubby. May edad na sya at naka 3 decades din po kc sa serbisyo. At wala po pati pamilya, mga pamangkin nya lang. Ang problema po kasi wala po syang makasundo na bagong kasama sa bahay kasi tinatarayan nya. Hndi tumatagal samin dahil sa kanya.