Life is unfair...?

[mischa04]

Sometimes I feel that life is unfair, with all the trials, sufferings, diappointments, hurt, sickness, etc.. lahat ng nega rolled into my life.

Despite being a good person, nagpapakabait, nagpapakabuti, that's me, pero ang sufferings ko never ending. I can't show na my life is broken and miserable. I have to pretend na kaya ko, so I smile, pero deep inside I'm crying.

In this thread, I want to slowly share a piece of my life, dito kasi pwede ko siguro ikwento, pwede ako umiyak, malungkot, o maging masaya, and probably get pieces of advice, because I feel hopeless...

[mischa04]

ang dami ko kasing tanong, bakit ganito, bakit ganyan, bakit ako? puro bakit..and feeling ko hindi nasasagot ang bucket of questions ko..

All I want is to be truly happy, pero mailap sakin yun.. Since I was a child, naranasan ko ng mahirapan at masaktan, and feeling ko 25 years ko ng burden yun kasi nga hindi natatapos..

Kahit mabigat ang burden, lumaki pa rin akong religious, mabait, mabuting tao, at naiintindihan ko ang mga bagay na nangyayari pero as I age, I begin to question everything.. I'm now in the point of my life na kinukwestyon ko na bakit pa ko nagpapakabait at nagpapakabuti eh useless din naman.. Kaya lahat ng gusto ko kahit hindi dapat eh ginagawa ko..yun nga lang nakatago yung, let's say rebellious side ko, kasi syempre ang alam ng mga tao sa paligid ko eh mabait ako..

Unfair, kasi tuwing matatanggap ko ang isang bagay na pangit sa buhay ko, eh here it is again, may kapalit nanaman..ang hirap kaya, saka bakit puro sakin, feeling ko hindi ko na kaya, nakakapagod rin kaya..at nakakabwisit na rin...

[Lute]

ganun talaga ang buhay. puno ng trials.

lahat ng tao may problema, siguro yung iba mas marunong lang mag dala.

maybe you'd have to be more pro active in terms of doing good. naniniwala ako sa karma - good or bad, whatever we sow comes back to us with a snowball effect.

so do more good, maybe yung current level of "goodness" mo is not enough to make a dent in your life. so more good, so it may snowball into your life.

[mischa04]

Ganon ba talaga ang trials, as early as a child nararanasan na, and up to this day it continues to knock on my door.. To the point na nahihirapan ako ienjoy ang life na pinahiram sakin.. At tinatanong ko kung ano ba talaga ang purpose of living ko..

I still continue to do good naman, and marunong naman ako magdala kaya lang syempre dumadating sa point na nabibigatan din..

Naranasan ko na siguro yang good at bad karma na yan..alternate sila kung dumating haha..

Siguro nasasabi kong life is unfair kasi parang I was given a second chance to live, pero to live a life full of hardships, dati kasi ang thinking ko may purpose pa ko kaya may second chance, pero ngayon hindi ko na alam, kasi hindi ko rin naman mahanap at makita yung purpose..

[chicafabulosa]

Who said life is fair? Life isnt fair, its a fact that everybody needs to accept. You need to learn how to continue living even with those trials. Trials serves as lessons, it makes us who we are now. When you said

Despite being a good person, nagpapakabait, nagpapakabuti, that's me, pero ang sufferings ko never ending. I can't show na my life is broken and miserable. I have to pretend na kaya ko, so I smile, pero deep inside I'm crying.

its like asking a lion not to eat you because you dont eat lion.

Hindi porke you are trying to be a good person means you dont deserve to experience trials. If ganun ang basehan aba lahat na lang ng tao magpapakabuti para masarap buhay nila. Life is a journey. And during your journey, you will encounter bumps and humps along the road but that should not stop you from moving on and continue your travel. No matter how hard life is, you should also think positive things that happens to you and be happy with it. I have my own problems, bigger than yours my dear honestly yours is more of whine because you think you deserve to have an easier life. But life isnt like that. Its how we handle it. How we carry ourselves and how we are as a person after each trials. It teaches us to be stronger and wiser.

If you think you don't deserve those trials aba ako rin i think i dont deserve them but see i choose to think my trials and problems as a challenge. After each challenge i become more stronger and wiser. But i dont blame God for whatever is happening to me, because. I know God doesnt want me to suffer. He wants me to learn a lesson.

Try to think and take your trials in a different view, not as a hardship so you cannot enjoy life. Sometimes the only person who stop us from being truly happy and contented is ourselves. Why? Because we tend to compare our lives to other people. Unconsciously, we tend to say to ourselves why they have an easier life than mine wherein i am a better person than them? Have you ever considered maybe they just know how to handle problems differently that it appears to other people as an easy thing for them to solve. That they have a happier lives. Sis, its ourselves who chooses how we want others to see our life. If you yourself feels miserable, then thats the aura you are trying to show. Learn how to think differently sis, take trials as a challenge. Another lesson you need to master.

And lastly, every individuals have different burdens we carry. Maybe we just know how to make it looks easy and we chose not to think we have a miserable life. Change the way you think, and everything else will fall into its own place..

Goodluck!

[aquacharly]

^ Like. Agree

Life IS unfair.  See, we are all born equal to become unequal.

SHIFT your view. As in, look at others with bigger problems (the disabled, etc) who keep on doing their best & live the straight life.  You will be grateful & be inspired.

Become your AUTHENTIC SELF.  Do not pretend to be goody goody if there are instances you have lost  patience, need to say "no"/refuse, etc etc.   Go where your passions lie.  Don't be something you are not just because it is "expected" of you.  Dance to your own music.

"Doing good"  is reward itself.   Doing good and hoping for something good in return is not "doing good" -- it's "a deal".  God doesn't do deals. 
God helps those who help themselves.

SMILE. Force yourself to do it often; & soon, you will feel the smile inside you. 

Go have yourself checked for Depression. Nothing wrong in being depressed -- but you must seek competent help for that.

[inluvewithmikewesten]

Yes, life is really UNFAIR!
Ito na lang lagi ko paalala sa sarili ko, ACCEPTANCE. I've accepted that while I suffer others have perfect lives.

[Lute]

look at it this way sis.

there are those born in places where there is constant famine, constant rape and abuse, constant fear and constant killing...

look at those who are born in war torn countries.

no education....kids forced to carry a gun just to survive...kids who'd kill just to survive..

pretty sure they'd give up their place for your position.

please don't get me wrong here. i know may kanya kanyang pain at hirap...

but at least you don't have to make tough choices like them.

find joy in what you have sis. or make one...

[chicafabulosa]

Yes, life is really UNFAIR!
Ito na lang lagi ko paalala sa sarili ko, ACCEPTANCE. I've accepted that while I suffer others have perfect lives.

I agree that you learned how to accept and disagree with you sis because not one of us have a perfect life. Nothing is perfect sis. Trust me. I have known people who you think seems to have everything you could wish for but their lives isnt perfect. Everybody has their own flaws sis.

A lot of my friends thins i have a perfect life. I get everything i need and want, i have a happy family, supportive friends but i know for a fact my life isnt perfect at all. It still have flaws, but i just learn how to cope up with every trials i encounter. I learn from them instead of whining. I do and act on them instead of waiting for miracles to happen.

I just learn and tell myself GOD LOVES ME. so a lot of people around me sees that aura i exudes. It is because i have a strong faith in God and strongly believes that God protects and guides me. So the people around me sees only how things go smoothly for me while they struggle and feel miserable. It is because I know God shares my burden and will help me survive it. And it also helps me change my mindset on how life should be. Life is too short. I dont want to live in regrets. If i have problems, i accept that i have a problem.

So just smile and every morning face the mirror and tell yourself, God loves me... it helps, trust me

[greyzie]

I used to be inggitera and laitera, even as a Christian. I struggled with it for a very long time... here's a poem that I hope will help as it helped me overcome these struggles:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."  -- Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"

[dropdeadgorgeous]

mahirap talaga isipin pero no matter how unfair life is..the fact na binibigyan tayo palagi ni Lord ng isa pang pagkakataon to start a new day - means maswerte pa rin tayo sis. temporary lang lahat ng nagaganap. walang makakapagsabi sa atin kung anong buhay ang nag aantay sa atin sa next life..so might as well make the best of our life na lang here habang may oras pa.

challenging ang buhay, and those situations can make or brake us. depende na sa atin kung paano natin ito ihahandle. dumarating ang time na pakiramdam natin na pasan natin ang mundo, pero hindi naman ibibigay ni Lord yan kung alam niya na hindi natin malalampasan. besides, im sure hindi lang naman puro pasakit ang mayroon. we can always look at the brighter side of our life pa rin. we always have the choice to count our blessings.

wala naman masama kung kakausapin mo si Lord ng taimtim sis. give him your complete trust. be positive na kahit ang dami nating pagsubok, lilipas din yan. kalma lang hanggang kaya..

[mischa04]

Thank You All for the kind words and pieces of advice!

Naiintindihan ko naman yung sinasabi nyo. I know na lahat ng tao may trials and sufferings at kanya-kanyang way lang talaga ng pag handle.

Siguro I was too emotional nung ginawa ko 'tong thread kaya ganyan ang mga salita ko, I was never that reklamador naman talaga in life, kasi marami rin naman talaga kong dapat ipagpasalamat..kung may mga reklamo ko I just keep it to myself kasi alam kong maaayos ko din yun and I will be blessed, maybe in a different kind of way, yung di ko ineexpect, I just need to appreciate even the little and simplest form of blessing.

Topakin ako, moody ganon, but I know how to smile.. I still smile kahit sad ako.. Eto nga ang fave ko eh, "Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is just an example of how strong you are as a person. Still, making it simple, Smile when every part of you dies". Kaya I think I'm strong naman..hehe..

Honestly naiintindihan ko talaga ang mga point nyo, and i'm glad to hear that from all of you, kasi naalog yung sistema ko at natauhan..haha..

yang pag-e-emote ko kasi was because of a bad news (again) regarding my health. Yes, I have unperfect health, yun ang journey na nilalabanan ko since I was a child and up to this day na may dumarating pang bago. Napapagod lang din siguro yung katawan ko.

So keep the advice coming, it's worth reading talaga to lift up my spirit again.. Thanks.

[justin3]

^buti na lang naunahan mo ako and you posted this, at nahimasmasan ka para amining you're "never that reklamador". kung hindi, aba, uupakan talaga kita.

i read your thread last Monday and believe me, i browsed all your 560+ posts here and found no reason for you to say that "life is unfair". not unless you're the Pinay version of Nick  Vujicic, minus the senses of sight and hearing... or you're one of the victims of Aling Yoly.

ang totoo nyan, ang daming bagay na dapat mo pa ngang ipagpasalamat eh.
you have all the "basic needs" na wala ang maraming tao. shelter, food and clothing.
you're HEALTH is not that life-threatening naman. tuloy pa naman ang pagsilbi mo sa bayan sa kagawaran ni Atty.Francis di ba?

hey! be the B.1.T.C.H. that you say you are. be in "control"... wag ka lang mang-api ng kapwa.

[mischa04]

@justin3, buti nalang naunahan kita haha..and grabeee ang tyaga mo naman at binasa mo talaga.. Well, hindi naman talaga mahahalata sa mga posts ko kasi hindi naman buong buhay ko na yung nandito, some lang..just like when other people think na i have the best life and family, ang hindi nila alam may flaws din

Malayo naman ako from being like Nick..kaya i know na maswerte ako.. My health problem may not be life theatening, kaya again i'm lucky, but there are times lang talaga na natatakot ako na one day, life threatening na, kasi i'm not yet prepared to leave this earth and my family

Oo naman, hindi ako nang-aapi ng kahit na sino, nagtataray at nagsusungit lang..hehe..

[la_chic]

Sis, sabi nga even sa bible:

"Worry not about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself"

Live each day with gratitude and believe that each day you are getting healthier and
Healthier. Learn from the past, don't worry about tomorrow, and Live in the NOW...

Emphasize ko lang din, another important thing like what our other sisses wrote here:
Never compare yourself with other people.

[queenteaser]

HIndi pa ako masanay. Tinatanggap ko na nga that life is UNFAIR. Pero sana may  pagbabago naman.

[mischa04]

@queenteaser, hi sis, yeah mahirap talaga i-accept at makasanayan na life is unfair pero that's reality, ako natanggap ko na yan, nasa atin na siguro pano magkakaron ng changes, it's up to us how to make things better.. tulad now may bagong bad news sakin, what i do is i help myself na lang na ma-overcome ang bad news..at sanayin ang sarili ko na ganon talaga para pag may bago eh i'm used to it na..hehe..

[simang]

Life is not fair so you just have to do your thing and kick it in the butt

[ysa.belle]

life is unfair. in all aspects pa...

pero naisip ko lang, kahit na ganun, natututo parin ako magpa "thank you" for the ff reasons:

normal kids ko
may family ako na mahal ako kahit lagi ako napapagalitan
may work ako
i can still eat 3x a day
may bahay kami
may sasakyan kami
may pambili pa naman ako ng kailangan ng pamilya ko

hindi nga ibibigay lahat sa atin pero nasa sa atin na if matuto tayo pasalamat sa meron naten. yes, i still desire for more and even pray for more pero siyempre, nasa time parin Niya.