Author Topic: BEING A "MISTRESS"  (Read 170882 times)

iloveshimmer

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #240 on: March 21, 2015, 05:35:46 pm »
@Yurusenai grabe im sooo agree sa lahat ng sinabi mo sis. Sana lahat ng mistress ganyan din ang nasa isip. And I know sis, God has the best plan for you. Di ka Nya hahayaang 2nd option ka lang ng iba. ☺

ellengarcia

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #241 on: March 30, 2015, 03:17:27 pm »
we are already old enough to know what is right from wrong. just learn to let go pag alam na natin sa sarili nating di na tama yung ginagawa natin. may tamang tao para satin, madami dyan hinding hindi tayo mauubusan :)

iloveshimmer

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #242 on: April 02, 2015, 12:19:03 pm »
Hi sissies! My friend just posted this letter to facebook and I thought this might help our fellow sis regarding this mistress problem:


To the Adulterous Woman,

I am writing this to you.

Sometimes you question how you got here. You may even at times justify that you are not doing anything wrong nor did you intend to hurt anyone. You have every right to be happy, to be loved.

If you were to rewind a bit, you weren’t expecting this kind of life. You surely were looking for someone who can love you. You did everything to be seen by the man of your dreams. Pampering yourself with your fine hairstyle, your lotion toned legs, the nail colors, sweet perfume and the fancy dress up. Many women envy your beauty. But there was still something missing. He was still missing.

Then someone took noticed. The flirty looks, the attention, and the fun conversation – you are holding on to his bait. The thrill of that next text message and the oh so looking forward secret date. Your senses say there is something special here. This excited you — walking on the edge and putting your heart out there.

You believed every word he said. His charms and his adventurous spirit snared you. He expressed he had feelings for you. He also openly shared with you that he is a married man. He is unfortunately unhappy being married and then he met you. He felt he was a new man! You sympathized with his situation. How could a man like this be so unhappy? “Surely, I could fill in those needs” you tell yourself. He took care of you when you were together and that was more than enough for you. So you took the next step and decided to pursue this kind of relationship.

But you did not think out all the details in full perspective. The attention, the intimacy was all you dreamed of except that – He will NEVER be yours. As you are spending a romantic time together somewhere, a family is being wrecked. A wife is crying out for love and devotion from her husband simply because you are in the way. Their children are slowly being shattered by a home that has an uninvolved / distracted father because you draw him away from them. But lets flip the coin and look at your situation. How do you feel when he cannot introduce you properly to the people that know him? How do you feel when you have to lie all the time about your relationship or how you have to pretend there is nothing going on? After that short sweet time together, how empty do you feel to come home without him? How long can you wait to see him again? He has informed you, there will be family outings and engagements that simply you cannot be invited. I’m sure you have realized that you have become in the least of his priorities. This alone must tire you down. Then lets look at this man you have fallen in love with. Is this the man you really dream of? If you were to lets say, “marry” him, would the thought scare you that he can “fall out of love” with you and find someone else like he did with his wife? Where is your peace of mind? What kind of integrity does he display when he is with you, with his family, with others? Can you live with all the lies – is honesty in a relationship important to you?

I’m sorry to make you feel uncomfortable. The truth has a way to wake people up and sugar coating it wont help you. The inevitable happened. The secret has been exposed:

 

 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

9When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” –John 8:4-11

 

I want you to know that you don’t have to stay in this situation. For so long you had your eyes focused on the wrong things. In fact, you may have not noticed but there is someone who is crazy about you. He has never stopped pursuing you even if you have not paid attention. He knows your past and even present situation. Despite of everything you have done, not even for a second, has he lost interest in you. He never judged you. He has the highest regard for you. He respects you and adores everything about you. He is calling you to surrender a counterfeit life for the real thing. He is offering you an everlasting love. His name is Jesus. He wants to protect you. He wants to redeem you and is completely willing to pay the price for your sin.

But it takes a real woman to take a leap of faith. You do not have to be afraid. You just need to trust in Him. He wants only the best for you. But you must let go first before you can receive this peace and joy beyond understanding. So Go. Walk. Don’t look back – sin no more.

We’re waiting for you on the other side of the fence. You can do it.

Sincerely,

 

Once the Adulterous Woman now a Woman of Christ

momentum

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #243 on: April 02, 2015, 12:27:53 pm »
^ galing  :D thanks for sharing that..hopefully magising na yung mga nasa situation na ito
in time for Lenten season :)

iloveshimmer

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #244 on: April 02, 2015, 12:29:38 pm »
Thanks sis @momentum. I hope na mabasa nila ito 😊

teal_rayy

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #245 on: April 04, 2015, 11:45:19 am »
I hope magising nga mga women in this situation.  I'm sure no one ever dreamed of becoming a mistress, and nadala lang talaga.  Hopefully women in this situation can stop being selfish and move forward.

Pink_Sugar

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #246 on: April 04, 2015, 11:59:57 am »
Sa mga guys, how was your life being with the mistress?

rochelleabelarde

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #247 on: April 08, 2015, 07:00:46 pm »
It's better to be alone than to stick in a situation knowing na you're not happy at all. You deserve someone better Sissy :) There's always have a vacant room for you :)

det060403

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #248 on: April 11, 2015, 11:51:17 pm »
@iloveshimmer :)

ajang

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #249 on: May 01, 2015, 06:40:42 am »
tinyaga ko basahin ang thread na to from page 1 to the recent, the reason? naghahanap ako ng mga encouraging words para magtuloy tuloy ang pag iwas ko sa isang guy. i broke up with him last sunday pero until now nag memessage pa rin sya sa fb and my only problem is parang di ko kayang di mag-reply sa kanya. yung mga reply na insisting na wala na talaga kami not the sweet replies.

im on the moving on process and he sent me a message saying na "talagang iniiwasan mo na ko, kapag naka online ako mag ooffline ka" then i replied "dont pm me in fb, your using a mobile phone your WIFE might search the history again and i dont want any arguments. besides its not a big deal to logoff once you login right?". the next day he sent another message saying "sorry last na to, wala ka nang maririnig saken. di kasi kita makalimutan, lagi ka nasa isip ko" so ako nagreply na "ano ba gusto mo mangayre? akala ko ok ka na? akala ko masaya ka na? kaya nga hinayaan ko na lang kahit masakit sakin. alam ko wala tayong maayos na closure pero the moment na sinabi mo ang nararamdaman mo (which is di nya kaya malayo sa 2 kids nya) para sakin sapat na rason na yun. ok naman kayo ng wife mo db?" then the next day he'll reply na "takte naiinis ako kapag may nakikita akong chubby ikaw agad naaalala ko, ikaw laging nasa isip ko, kahit nasan ako ikaw naiisip ko" then i told him na "madaling kalimutan ang taong nasa isip pero ang taong nasa puso mo hindi at alam kong hindi ako yun. masaya ko kasi sabi sakin you were trying to be a good father and husband"

sana kapag tumagal tagal magsawa na ko magreply kakatulak sa kanya dun sa wife nya. di ko alam bakit di pa rin sya kuntento, samantalang nung nagmakaawa akong pakawalan na nya ko di sya nagdalawang isip tapos itong unti unti akong nagmo-move on magpaparamdam sya para sabihin sakin ang mga ganon. pray at iyak lang ang kasangga ko para maka move on. nakakalunod ang sobrang lungkot at depression.

alam ko mali ang pinasok ko at alam ko na ang tingin ng iba ay ako lang mali. pero ang di nila alam the whole time sa relasyon namin nung guy tinutulak ko sya palayo sakin wala lang akong lakas ng loob noon na iwan sya pero nagawa ko na ngayon. ang di alam ng iba yung guy mismo ang makulit.

sana yung iba maisip nila na hindi lahat ng mistress/other woman/ third party ay pera o sex lang ang habol sa guy. may nabuo talagang love kaso sa maling tao lang. sana maisip rin nila na hindi pare pareho ang mga other woman, ang iba nagpupumiglas makawala at mag bagong buhay pero wala lang lakas ng loob at ang iba naman ay pinapamukha sa guy na dapat dun na sya sa pamilya nya.

sana di magtagal tuluyan ko na sya makalimutan at pinipilit ko yun. siguro hangat nagpaparamdam sya tuloy tuloy din ang pagtulak ko sa kanya papunta dun sa wife at kids nya (ironic, pano kakalimutan kung nakakausap pa rin)

Cluelesschx

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #250 on: May 01, 2015, 09:20:53 am »
^I agree na hindi lahat ng mistress e pera lang ang habol. my best friend is young, pretty, and a lawyer pero she fell hard sa isang supervisor niya na 16 years older. ang nakakainis lang sa friend ko na to e naniniwala sa delusions niya na mahal siya nung guy at hindi na mahal nung guy ang wife niya at he's staying only for.his kids. incidentally, my friend got herself pregnant believing na pag nagkaanak sila niting guy e iiwan nung guy yung family niya. nakakalungkot kasi hindi na.kami masyado nagkakausap nitong best friend ko kasi naririndi ako na.tuwing magkukiwentuhan.kami ang sasabihin niya is kawawa yung guy kasi malungkot kasi hindi.sila nagkikita. haaaay :( pinipilit ko siya magresign para ma cut na kahit papaano yung link nila nung guy, pero ayaw ng best friend ko. sana magising na siya dahil im sure me magmamahal pa din sa kanya at tatanggap kahit may anak na siya....


iloveshimmer

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #251 on: May 01, 2015, 09:36:24 am »
Hi sis @ajang! Welcome to the thread. I know minsan mahirap talaga gawin ang tama pero in the end, magiging masaya ka din. And we don't judge anyone here. Maybe nasabi lang ng mga sis dito yung masakit dahil nasaktan sila or may mahal sa buhay silang nasaktan din dahil sa mistress. Like what I've posted here previously, "God has the highest regard for you. He respects you and adores everything about you." If you believe that you deserve better, wag kang magsettle sa hindi kayang ibigay ang buo sayo. If you really wanted to move on, BLOCK him to FB. CHANGE your phone number if alam nya. The way that man adores you, that's the adoration of the devil. Wag kang papaagaw sis, ang temptation laging maganda at first. And when you've moved on really, I believe there's someone waiting for you who's God's best.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2015, 09:44:46 am by iloveshimmer »

pumpkin13

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #252 on: May 01, 2015, 12:25:50 pm »
I was once a mistress, a 1-month mistress. Pero walang nangyari samin. Hindi ko kasi kaya. It was a short-lived office affair, and dun ko narealize na hindi pala talaga ako para sa ganun, na kung nakakatagal ang iba sa ganung situation dahil mahal nila yung guy, hindi ko pala kya yun. I loved myself more. That was a happy month, andun yung excitement na kailangan nyo magtago. I don't know if it was because I was younger, or maybe I wasn't that serious that I rather found it exciting than scary. So yes, we were happy. But deep within I was asking myself, hanggang kelan? Pag ba iniwan nya asawa nya para sakin, sasaya ako? Knowing that I was about to ruin what could have been a happy marriage had I not existed. Tapos ako naman ang iiwan in the end? And what would the wife feel if she found out? And what if I was the wife? The next day after thinking all this over, I resigned from my job. Ayaw pa nya tanggapin. He was the boss of the boss of my boss. So di na ko nagpakita. I changed my number. And it was just a fleeting moment of sadness, because for the first time I felt like I did the world a very huge favor and the world saved me from future hell.

So sa mga nasa ganung situation ngayon, kaya nyo naman i-save sarili nyo eh. Think about your life and other people's lives, hindi yung puro love, na di naman sure if love nga. Because loving someone doesn't mean na kelangan natin mang agaw or manira ng pamilya ng iba. Most of the time it means setting yourself and the man free from each other and finding your own someone na walang masasagasaan na tao. Yun, pure happiness yun, walang guilt.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2015, 12:34:05 pm by pumpkin13 »

iloveshimmer

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #253 on: May 01, 2015, 12:29:07 pm »
@pumpkin13 thumbs up sis! God bless your life 😊

Girltalker2

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #254 on: May 01, 2015, 12:58:57 pm »
tinyaga ko basahin ang thread na to from page 1 to the recent, the reason? naghahanap ako ng mga encouraging words para magtuloy tuloy ang pag iwas ko sa isang guy.


Sis, thanks for sharing your story. Always believe na magkakaroon ka rin eventually ng happy ending na puede ka rin mahalin ng isang tao na sayo lang.



alam ko mali ang pinasok ko at alam ko na ang tingin ng iba ay ako lang mali. pero ang di nila alam the whole time sa relasyon namin nung guy tinutulak ko sya palayo sakin wala lang akong lakas ng loob noon na iwan sya pero nagawa ko na ngayon. ang di alam ng iba yung guy mismo ang makulit.


Good point sis, nabanggit ko narin Ito a few times sa posts ko on unfaithful husbands. Normally kasi nanggagalaiti ang wife sa kabit nya at sinisisi na malandi si mistress and removing the blame entirely sa hubby nila. Being the wife, mahirap naman kasi mag isip objectively on the issue. Mahal mo ang husband mo eh. Pero yung mistress, sino ba sya para maghimasok ng buhay ng may buhay.

Pero if a wife is able to think objectively, ang totoong salarin sa mga extra marital affairs na iyan ay mismong nasa loob ng bakod nya. It cannot be a full blown affair of the husband did not pursue the girl.


sana yung iba maisip nila na hindi lahat ng mistress/other woman/ third party ay pera o sex lang ang habol sa guy. may nabuo talagang love kaso sa maling tao lang.


If not pera or sex, I would think love and attention ang habol ng mistress sa mga married guys. Pero why pursue a relationship with a married guy?

Again, naniniwala ako na hindi naman overnight or isang gabi or isang oras lang para mabuo ang kine-claim nilang pag mamahal. For feelings to develop, it involves a lot of planning, action, doing, meet ups, sex, texts, and communication. Maraming oras involved iyan for you to love a person. Therefore, kahit nabanggit ko na malaki ang kasalanan ng lalaki sa situation na ito at sya talaga ang pasimuno, the mistress is still an adult with her own mind and values - she should resist that temptation to feed into the guy's tempting advances. If the mistress fail to do this, tendency is she will find her own trap na eventually doon mabubuo ang feelings at minsan mahirap na makaalis.

Bottom line? The guy is the main culprit. The mistress is the accomplice.

ajang

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #255 on: May 01, 2015, 10:29:06 pm »
honestly deleted na sya sa fb ko, tapos i didnt change my number kasi according to him kinuha daw ng gf/wife (di sila married) yung phone and sim nya so i assume na di na talaga sya magtetext. the other reason siguro na kaya sumasagot ako sa mga pm nya is not with the hope na magiging kami, naaawa ako sa kanya. nakakaawa kasi di nya magawang makuntento na lang sa girl at sa kids nya. kahit sabihin nya na sinasaktan sya ng girl every time magtatalo sila or may topak si girl at kahit sabihin nyang wala na syang amor dun and nagsasama na lang sila for the kids sake at ubod daw ng nagger (ayan ang kwento nya), dun pa rin naman sya umuuwi at the end of the day. i gave him advices regarding his rights sa kids pero di naman nya kaya iwan kahit si girl, so i assume ngayon na wala naman yatang problem at sya lang ang gumagawa ng kwento kwento.

minsan naiisip ko na kausapin yung girl to know the truth at para na rin malaman ni girl na ayaw ako tantanan ng bf/hubby nya. kaso kung totoo ngang sinasaktan ni girl si lokong guy naisip ko wag na lang, kahit papano minahal ko sya at ayaw ko sya masaktan. ok nang ako ang lumayo basta masaya na sya sa family nya.

i have someone naman, complicated masyado ang story ko. pareho kaming may live in partner ni guy the only difference is si guy may anak at ako wala. after ko makipag break kay guy, i confess all (yes as in lahat pati yung nangyare samin ni guy) sa partner ko. i know galit sya di nya lang sinasabi pero ramdam ko pero ang sinabi lang nya is wala na kaming magagawa nangyare na wag ko na lang daw uulitin. until now he supports me in moving on, ang sama sama ko kasi nasasaktan ko sya kasi sa kanya ko umiiyak dahil wala na nga kami nung guy. thankful ako sa partner ko kasi despite of all the pain andyan sya for me not just as a partner but also as my best friend.

harley18

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #256 on: May 03, 2015, 08:07:12 am »
Ouch naman para sa partner mo ajang.

You're lucky you have him. Bakit mo naman naisip pumatol sa iba? Pareho kayong di makuntento ni 'guy' mo, so nagkabitan kayo.

red_yesha

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #257 on: May 03, 2015, 08:41:27 am »
^ako din nagtataka.

^^hindi mo na ba mahal ang partner mo kaya nagawa mo mangabit?
saludo ako sa partner mo, ang bait nya sobra.
Salamat naman at naisip mong kumalas dun kay guy na may asawa. Nawa'y wala ng ganitong mangyare.

young_maiden

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #258 on: May 04, 2015, 09:30:41 pm »
Sa tingin ko bukod sa love, another reason bakit may girls na payag maging kabit kasi mababa self-esteem nila. So pag may taken o married guy na lumandi sa kanila, kakagat agad. May ego boost sa babae kasi may nakita si guy sa kanila na wala doon sa gf o wife.

Naranasan ko na din maging kabit. Hindi sa married man ha. Sa guy na may gf lang. Hindi ko siya minahal ever. Fling lang. We went out on dates kahit alam kong may gf siya. May physical intimancy din kami pero once lang kami nag all the way. Bakit ko nagawa iyon? Nung mga panahong iyon, mababa tingin ko sa sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko wala akong kwenta dahil sa ex ko na niloloko lang ako sa ibang girls. Nung naging kabit ako, pakiramdam ko ang taas ko kasi may nakita si guy sa akin na wala sa gf niya. Pinagselosan pa nga ako ng gf eh. Kinausap pa ako. I lied doon sa girl. Sabi ko friends lang kami ng bf niya. Naniwala nanam siya.

Hindi na rin ako sumaya nung tumagal. Lagi na lang kaming tago sa publiko. Tapos iyong gf niya kinaibigan ako. Nakunsensya ako kasi sobrang bait na kaibigan iyong gf niya. Tiwalang tiwala siya sa akin. Hindi siya aware na number 2 ako ng bf niya.

So I made the right choice. Lumayo ako doon sa guy. Nung una ayaw niya ako bitawan. Hindi daw niya kaya. Pero final na eh. I deleted his number. I blocked him sa fb. I ignored his texts and calls. Napagod din siya.

Nabalitaan ko sa friend ko na married na siya. Pero hindi doon sa gf niya na naging friend ko. Sa ibang babae na. Sana nagbago na siya.

Sa ngayon hindi pa rin aware iyong friend ko na minsan na ako naging number 2 ng ex niya. Wala na din ako balak ipaalam. Ayaw ko masira friendship namin. Wala na din siya balita doon sa guy. Hiniwalayan niya kasi napagod na siya sa pagiging cheater ni guy. Bukod sa akin, madami pa naging babae iyon. Sobrang guilty ko talaga that time. Ayaw ko na ulitin.

ajang

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Re: BEING A "MISTRESS"
« Reply #259 on: May 04, 2015, 10:08:54 pm »
Ouch naman para sa partner mo ajang.

You're lucky you have him. Bakit mo naman naisip pumatol sa iba? Pareho kayong di makuntento ni 'guy' mo, so nagkabitan kayo.

^^hindi mo na ba mahal ang partner mo kaya nagawa mo mangabit?
saludo ako sa partner mo, ang bait nya sobra.
Salamat naman at naisip mong kumalas dun kay guy na may asawa. Nawa'y wala ng ganitong mangyare.

for me its not with contentment maybe its because nafo-fall out of love na talaga ko sa partner ko i told him naman kung ano nararamdaman ko, wala akong tinago sa kanya pagdating sa feeling open kami sa isa't isa. matagal na rin ako humihingi ng space pero ayaw nya ibigay.

when it comes dun sa guy, at first i didn't know na he's still living with his gf/wife ang alam ko lang is may kids sya.

as of now, nag-start all over kami nung partner ko and we consider what happen as a trial. sabi nya mas may mabigat pang trial na maeexperience. si other guy nagppm sa fb pero seen zoned na lang, magsasawa din siguro sya at marerealize na wala na talaga. ang dating kasi ng mga pm nya is gusto nya magkabalikan kami which is ayoko. maybe we could be friends pero for sure malabo sakin yun.

 

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