BEING A "MISTRESS"

[Girltalker2]

Girltalker2 - mmm… feeling ko lang... di na ba kita kakampi?

Kakampi kita. Nagtataka lang ako bakit ang chismoso mo when it comes to mistresses. Pero totoo iyan nakakatulong talaga sa mga wife.  Pero in recent years, natuto nako tumahimik minsan kasi kapag sila pinagsasabihan, kahit gf/bf palang na malaki ang potential na manloko ang partners nila, hindi sila nakikinig at sayo pa magagalit. Eventually, sila din ang iiyak.

Yup, been there, done that. I think maraming factors why these things happen.  Of course di ko mabuntong ng sisi lahat sa ex ko, kahit 90% of the time sya ang may mali.  Ang mali ko --- hindi ako pumili ng matinong asawa, hindi ako marunong manghuli, hindi ako marunong magmanage ng relationship, and hindi lang sa hindi mature yung ex ko that time, pati ako not mature enough to face this situation.

May isang thread nga nagtatanong ako - broken marriages - infidelities --- lahat ito ay signs lang na hindi pa talaga handa ang mga tao before sila humarap sa simbahan.  Hindi nila naiintindihan 100% what marriage is all about, tapos sasabak na agad. Pero at that time, during my time when I got married, sinasabi nila - matututunan mo naman eventually iyan. Pero hindi eh.  Iba na ang panahon ngayon. Nung time ng parents siguro natin, where both sides have stronger commitments to the marriage, mas mataas din ang patience nila at self control, puede pa. Pero these times?  Kung kelan naglipana ang mga malalanding babae sa mundo, kung kelan mas brave na ang mga babae mag express ng feelings nila, kung kelan wala nang hiya ang mga babae ma associate sa mga may asawa, ... Parang impossible na magwork ang marriage if sasabihin natin na - eventually matututunan rin natin eventually.

Pero nahihiya naman ako sa yo sis, talagang binasa mo post ko ha?
(dapat may “LIKE” features ang GT ala Fezbuk ano?)

Oo nga, parang almost 99% of your posts nag aagree ata ako hehe.

Now, am I curious? NOoooo! Para que? Mistresses? Why? I don’t even entertain nor have thoughts of getting married. Pano mangyari yon?

That's good. I guess you're one of the few who has been enlightened that marriage is not a game, it is a lifetime commitment.

Actually, kung ilatag man ng mga mistresses (o former mistresses dito ang mga “generic” details na sinasabi ko, ang mas makinabang ay ang mga MARRIED sissies dito. Sa ganun, as I have said, kung wala man sila kamuwang-muwang, at least may INDICATORS na sila na pagtuunan ng pansin kung nagloloko nga ba ang mga esposo nila.

Nasa sa wifey naman iyan. Kung bukas ang loob nila, mag iisip sila ng tuwid. Kaso most of the time, dahil sa sobrang obsession to have a happy family, dahil sa pagportray narin ng media na dapat lagi happy ang family (kahit super babaero ang asawa), wives tend to have a coping mechanism - na puede na nila lokohin ang sarili nila at matinding magps-psych na mahal na mahal sila ng asawa nila kahit na hindi. Kasi kung hindi mo lolokohin ang sarili mo na mahal ka ng asawa mo, masisira ang ulo mo.

Mmm, How about you Girltaker2? Why not share your experience(s) instead with that manloloko…  sinunggaling, philandering, babaero, hayok sa laman, no-good, Pinoy, EX-husband of yours? …(itinodo ko na ha? bitter ka naman sa kanya based on your previous posts eh).
What were the INDICATORS nung una mong naramdaman/pinaghinalaan na may kinalolokohan na sya?
You bet, malaking tulong sa mga wifeys dito ang i-share mong pointers.
(yan kung ok lang sa yo bilang nakakatandang, well-experienced, open-minded sister sa nakararami dito... dare? )

Naku ikaw ang hindi nagbabasa haha
I have shared my experiences in other threads. Dito kasi kala ko mga mistress lang magshare.  And I was never one, so malay ko ba.

But seriously, I think the main point I have shared here is yung mga lalaking may mga kabit ang dapat ibitin ng patiwarik.  Sila ang mas malalandi.  Never sila marunong magmahal ng iba na higit pa sa sarili nila.  Sila ang dapat makulong or maputulan.  Tingnan lang natin kung gusto pa nila magkaron ng kabit. 

Paano mo malaman, a wife knows. Kunwari lang hindi nya alam para nga maloko nya sarili nya na mahal sya ng asawa nya and life goes on happily as others can see it (kahit gulong gulo na ang utak mo at di ka makatulog).

Kasi naman mga sissies, bago nyo batuhin ang lahat ng mga kalaguyo, o paghingaan ng sama ng loob ang mga kapatid natin dito na umaming mistress o naging mistress… bakit hindi muna kayo magmuni-muni at tanungin ang mga sarili nyo? (tatlo lang yan)
    Hinayaan ko ba mangabit ang asawa ko?
   Alam ba ng asawa ko kung ano ang mawawala sa kanya pag niloko nya ako?
   May kinikilalang Panginoon pa ba kami na namamagitan sa buhay namin bilang mag-asawa?

Ngayon, kung may nakaligtaan kayong isa sa tatlo at ngaw-ngaw pa rin kayo ng ngaw-ngaw. Eh, Ibang tao naman ang gusto nyong ipako sa krus… heh! Tumigil ka nga! Ikaw ang latigohin ko eh.

You have great questions there. 

But as for me, when this happened to me, I did not have an incling where to start.  I was young, immature, do not know how to address the problem.  You see, my ex hubby was my one and only BF for more than 10 years (oo bata pa kami childhood sweethearts) before we got married.  Noong araw (yes matagal na), hindi pa kasi uso ang pre-marital sex at bawal iyan.  So I guess this was one of the factors that led him to propose to me again and again (3x) until it became an ultimatum na if you are not ready then it will never be "us", kaya we have to call it quits.  Ako naman - at that time - not knowing what is happening around us, not even thinking or analyzing the relationship, Kako siguro "matututunan ko rin ang pag aasawa when I am there already".  So pumayag din ako. Little did I know that this decision will eventually destroy more than 10 years of my life (essentially my late 20s to mid 30s).

Other advises?  Mag isip 10x before getting married - aside from if you REALLY love each other, isipin, do you really KNOW and UNDERSTAND what marriage and lifetime commitment is all about?

Coping mechanism?  So when my ex hubby had a mistress, I do not know where to go, what to do.  I was never exposed. I do not know how to handle men.  I was at the brink of my sanity. I committed suicide as well. I have done everything, went to witchcraft, arbularyo, you know the 3am prayers in latin? basta meron nyan, novenas, private investigators, assassins, whatever. Lahat. I tried.  But nothing worked except one - it was me. It was me, my emotional and mental state that I have to fix.  Hindi si mistress ang kelangan patayin.  Hindi si hubby ang kelangan ipa-private investigator.  It was me na kelangan lumayo, pick up the pieces and start a new life.  It took me a lot of time to know what to do because late bloomer nga ako.  I had to do my own research as my family was conservative.  Both parents (in laws and mine) prefer me to stick it out with my philandering hubby kasi naman lahat happy, ako lang ang sad.  As opposed to kapag hiniwalayan ko si hubby, magugulo ang mundo ng lahat.  Pero after a lot of thinking and thinking and thinking, aba, maryosep, ayoko ata maging sacrifical lamb na tipong lifetime hell.  Sila masaya ako hindi?  So I had to let go, a lot of counseling.  And I had to do it all by myself.  Yes I have friends, just a few, but they can only do so much.  Sarili ko yung kelangan ko ayusin.  Being a latebloomer, then being psychologically, mentally and emotionally abused, mahirap bumangon unless humiwalay talaga ako.  So here I am, never been happier, ever since I ditched that ex hubby of mine.

Pero one thing na hindi ko pinagsisihan - I never made any iskandalo or any pagsugod sa kabit.  Hindi ko alam kung tama ito. Sadyang hindi kasi ako palaban, hindi din ako matapang.  Pero looking back, I am glad I never did this thing.  Pero sabi nga ng iba, kapag ikaw ang wife, matapang nga, it will at least somehow prevent your hubby from straying.  Hindi ko alam.

Another thing din na hindi ko pinagsisihan - hindi ko pinapatay si mistress at si ex. haha  I just let them be until sila narin nagsawa sa isa't isa.  But too late for my ex, wala nakong natitirang respect sa kanya and therefore the marriage can never work na.







 

[bwiset12]

pag kasal kayo at nambabae si mister, kawawa si misis
pag hindi naman kasal at nambabae si partner, kawawa pa din si girl
hayyyy buhay,, so unfair

[Girltalker2]

^ that's life.

Tsaka nagiging kawawa lang naman si wife at si kabit kasi they allow it to be.  Kung hindi naman sila papayag, never sila magiging kawawa.

[sugardrop]

pag kasal kayo at nambabae si mister, kawawa si misis
pag hindi naman kasal at nambabae si partner, kawawa pa din si girl
hayyyy buhay,, so unfair

Ewan ko lang pero for me, dun ako pinakanaaawa sa lalake na nambabae. Simply because he doesn't know how to truly love another person other than himself.

[ysa.belle]

^totoo. pero syempre kawawa si girl kase niloko siya, in the end, si guy rin kase di ba hindi siya marunong makuntento sa kung anong meron siya

[sxymnky]

Para sa mga kabit ,,,kung nagawa mong magmahal ng bonggang bonga sa maling guy, hindi ba pwedeng magmahal ng wagas sa tamang lalaki?

[insanelypurpleprincess]

How about in the case wherein, the husband has a mistress and the wife also has a (wait, ano ba tawag sa kabit na guy?) or an affair with another guy... Tapos both parties naman playing hide and hide.. kasi no one is trying to catch the other... nangyayari ba?

[sugardrop]

^
That happens. I know of a married couple na ganto, both of them are my friends kaya naloka ako when each of them eh told me about their respective affairs. Gustong gusto ko na sabihan na maghiwalay na lang sila at pareho silang malandi, kaso ayaw ko to meddle with their affairs. I think both of them have an idea, though.

[nathanielle]

Despite what I went through, I don't think that husbands who cheat on their wives are incapable of loving anyone else but themselves. It may be true for some of them, but not all of them. I think that just because one is incapable of being a good husband doesn't mean he's incapable of love. He's just really bad at being a good husband. Maybe because he's just weak, or has a general predisposition to cheating. But whatever the case, there's a difference between being a good husband and being incapable of love.

But I will still be very hurt if my husband goes and has an affair himself. I think if there's anyone who's the biggest victim in an affair, it's the kids who will have a broken home through no fault of their own. It could be the husband's fault, maybe the wife's, or the mistress', but never the kids. So sila ang pinaka kawawa para sa akin.

[entwife]

I have a friend na nainlove sa officemate nya na may asawa and kids. I and my other friends were so against it pero she was really rationalizing it. Di daw niya inexpect kasi sa iba pa siya nalilink before.

So lahat na ng advice, pagdidiscourage ginawa namin, sige pa rin ang lola mo. Ang hirap pa dun is pag nagkakatampuhan or nagkakaproblema sila, nagdadramarama yung friend ko. Alangan naman, deadmahin namin. Ayun parang litanya ko na lang lagi is, "hayaan mo na kasi, wala ka naman mapapala dun eh" or "naexcite lang yun, uuwi pa rin yun sa asawa".

Uulit ulitin pa namin sa kanya na number 2 siya pero lagi siyang may pang counter. Siya daw lumalapit, siya tawag ng tawag, siya, siya, siya lahat. So pangcounter ko naman, bumibigay ka naman! Nararamdaman daw niya kasi na mas mahal na siya kesa sa asawa. 

Anyway, ilang beses nila napagusapan na stop na, kaso syempre minsan masarap yung may drama sa buhay, so ayun after a while tuloy pa rin. Natigil na lang talaga nung nalaman ng asawa at kinausap yung friend ko. In the name of goodness, natauhan naman siya. Nahihirapan siya kasi magkawork sila, pero they decided na stop na.

Thankful na rin na yung lalake yung mejo umiwas, kasi in nature, babae is weak sa temptation lalo kung naattach na. And for the friends of kabit, we should not stop to be their support. Kasi pag pinabayaan natin sila (kahit nakakainis na minsan mga kwento nila), baka lalo silang ma-stuck sa situation na yun. At kung friends talaga kayo, masasabi niyo na mali ang ginagawa nila without condemning them. Like support and pagpapaalala at the same time.

[CITIgirl_04]

And for the friends of kabit, we should not stop to be their support. Kasi pag pinabayaan natin sila (kahit nakakainis na minsan mga kwento nila), baka lalo silang ma-stuck sa situation na yun. At kung friends talaga kayo, masasabi niyo na mali ang ginagawa nila without condemning them. Like support and pagpapaalala at the same time.

you're such a good friend sis.. tama yang ginagawa nyo.. despite of your friend's weakness and fault.. we should never condemn nor judge anybody. It's only God who should do that...

But I will still be very hurt if my husband goes and has an affair himself. I think if there's anyone who's the biggest victim in an affair, it's the kids who will have a broken home through no fault of their own. It could be the husband's fault, maybe the wife's, or the mistress', but never the kids. So sila ang pinaka kawawa para sa akin.

ako rin.. I'll be very hurt.. doesn't mean I've been through this situation means he'll have an equal opportunity.. I went through excruciating process of changing and taking away myself from shame and discrimination.. Ayoko nang bumalik dun.. And I have faith in Jesus' name na hindi mangyayari samin yun for God is in the center of our relationship.. gaya ng sabi ni bro justin3..
at tama rin, kawawa rin talaga mga kids, which are the true victims..wala silang kaalam-alam sa kaguluhang pinagdadaanan ng mga magulang nila...

How about in the case wherein, the husband has a mistress and the wife also has a (wait, ano ba tawag sa kabit na guy?) or an affair with another guy... Tapos both parties naman playing hide and hide.. kasi no one is trying to catch the other... nangyayari ba?

sis insanelypurpleprincess yes it happened.. to me, personally. backread ka lang...


and sisses ysa.belle, sugardrop, and girltalker2, pwede bang i-LIKE mga posts nyo??? LoL

Mga Sinuggaling!… bakit hindi muna kayo magmuni-muni at tanungin ang mga sarili nyo? (tatlo lang yan)
    Hinayaan ko ba mangabit ang asawa ko?
   Alam ba ng asawa ko kung ano ang mawawala sa kanya pag niloko nya ako?
   May kinikilalang Panginoon pa ba kami na namamagitan sa buhay namin bilang mag-asawa?

tama yan..  we're not entirely blaming the wives to be the reason why their husbands went astray.. nope not at all.. it's just that.. as wives.. it's one of our major responsibility to keep our relationship with our husbands in check all the time.. we have roles as the 'ilaw ng tahanan' to maintain the love in the family, most especially with our husbands.. hindi dapat natin pinababayaan ang ating mga sarili despite all the responsibilities of being a mother... kahit na mahigit 10 taon nang nagsasama.. hindi pa rin dapat nawawala ang spark..kahit na may mga panahong parang nagkakasawaan na...

And we should always make God in the center of our relationship which is the most important of all so we could be protected from any form of temptation in our relationship at all times.

[ysa.belle]

^^tama. iba parin pag yung friends eh nag-aadvice at hindi nagju-judge lang

[Girltalker2]

tama yan..  we're not entirely blaming the wives to be the reason why their husbands went astray.. nope not at all.. it's just that.. as wives.. it's one of our major responsibility to keep our relationship with our husbands in check all the time.. we have roles as the 'ilaw ng tahanan' to maintain the love in the family, most especially with our husbands..

I still think that the responsibility of maintaining or shall I say nourishing the relationship should be done by both husband and wife.  Hindi lang wife ang nag eeffort, hindi lang ang wife laging nag iisip, laging nagm monitor.
Yes, wives have the responsibility to do the relationship check, but husbands, if mature enough, should also. Ang hirap sa society natin sa Pinas, ang mga lalaki parang pinalaking spoiled. Marunong lang uminom, magpaka machismo at mambabae.
Kaya in my eyes, more than 90% of the Pinoys walang kwenta.  Mahirap humanap ng someone worthy. Sometimes ok nanga, kaso mo kung kasuklam suklam naman ang environment (barkada, yayain uminom at boys night out), inadvertently, nahihila yung guy sa masamang bisyo.

hindi dapat natin pinababayaan ang ating mga sarili despite all the responsibilities of being a mother... kahit na mahigit 10 taon nang nagsasama.. hindi pa rin dapat nawawala ang spark..kahit na may mga panahong parang nagkakasawaan na...

And we should always make God in the center of our relationship which is the most important of all so we could be protected from any form of temptation in our relationship at all times.

I agree, dapat lagi natin alagaan ang sarili natin, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Para kung may nangyari man na hindi kanais nais, hindi tayo nganga nalang.

Yung spark, ang masasabi ko puedeng mawala.  Pero yung communication, pagsasama ninyo bilang isang unit, yun dapat ang hindi mawala.

Making God the center of your relationship is good. But that does not immune the relationship from challenges.  Maraming laging nagsisimba pero nauuwi din nga sa hiwalayan or pambabae ng lalaki. Sometimes hindi ko nanga maintindihan why these things happen especially to the ones na alam mong hindi naman sana dapat mangyari.


"Hinayaan ko ba mangabit ang asawa ko?" 

I don't think any wife would want this.  Pero how can one say hinayaan ng wife ang asawa nya magkaron ng kabit?  Ano ang ginagawa ng wife para masabi na hinayaan nya ang asawa nya magkaron ng kabit? 

Is there such a thing? Say kunwari si wife hindi nag aayos, masasabi mo ba na hinayaan nya magkakabit ang asawa nya by not taking care of her looks?  Feeling ko kasi WALANG enough reason para mangaliwa.  Ang totoong reason lang nyan ay sinungaling yung lalaki. 

[ysa.belle]

Is there such a thing? Say kunwari si wife hindi nag aayos, masasabi mo ba na hinayaan nya magkakabit ang asawa nya by not taking care of her looks?  Feeling ko kasi WALANG enough reason para mangaliwa.  Ang totoong reason lang nyan ay sinungaling yung lalaki. 

Tama. Walang reason para mangabit ang isang lalaki.

[cyren29]

You know sis first of all I want you to know that -GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!!
Alam ko and alam nating lahat na aware ka sa maling ginagawa mo, gusto mong ihinto na  but  I think the big question is How and Where to start.

How? It's easy just say NO, NO MORE, and We're done sa guy na involve..
Where to start? right away. Habang hindi pa huli ang lahat. kasi there's a possible na magbunga pa yung maling relasyon nyo and honestly mas mahirap makipag hiwalay pag ganun for the sake of baby but there's nothing impossible with God.

He's always beside you, He's concern, He wants to help you and willing to help you anytime, just allow Him to do it. paano?
Kausapin mo sya, lahat ng sama ng loob mo, hinanakit kung bakit mo yun nagawa, iiyak mo, kausapin mo sya na katulad ng bestfriend- you don't need to be formal kasi kilalang kilala ka nya at wala kang matatago sakanya. At the end of your prayer ask Him na gusto mong kumawala sa kasalan na nagawa mo at gusto mo pero hindi mo kaya- yes aminin mo na hindi mo kaya and ask Him na tulungan ka nya.

Honestly, kung iisipin mo mahirap gawin yung makipag hiwalay sa sarili mong paraan, but I guaranteed you, you will be amaze sa grace ng Panginoon pag sya na ang kumilos sa buhay mo.
All you want to do is allow Him, Trust Him, and ibigay mo na lahat sakanya. That's all

And yung Love nya is enough for you, but eventually in the right time He will give you a perfect man na inilaan nya para sayo, yung hindi ka sasaktan o paasahin o gagawing pangalawa o pang reserve lang- sis our Father in Heaven is a King of all kings and Lord of all lords, so we are His princesses and your not deserving sa lalaking yan o maging other woman.

Remember makakapag simula ka parin ng bagong buhay and magandang relationship kahit iwanan mo yung guy na yan.

[CITIgirl_04]

^ I totally agree sis cyren29 ...

And sis Girltalker2 yan yung sinasabi ko about making the Lord our God in the center of our relationships with our husbands... hindi yung nagsisimba lang kada linggo, hindi yung kristiyano lang sa nguso pero hindi sa puso... it's not about religion or every good thing we do.. it's all about our relationship with God.. at kapag kayong mag-asawa ay may malalim na commitment and relationship kay Lord, I assure you, gaya ng sinabi ni sis cyren29, hindi tayo hahayaan ni Lord na mapunta sa masama, at kung may pagsubok man ay kakayanin pa rin ng mag-asawa ito dahil kasama natin ang Lord.... with God, nothing is impossible!

And yes tama ka sis Girltalker2 na ang husband and wife ang dapat na nagtutulungan upang maitaguyod ang kanilang relasyon, and I don't mean that it's only the wife that should keep the relationship in check all the time... ang ibig sabihin ko lang is, may mga iba kasing sobrang kampante na sa set up nilang mag asawa lalo na yung matatagal na kaya hinahayaan na lang nila yung mga asawa nila.. hindi dapat nawawala yung paglalambing, yung mga surprises, yung mga ginagawa ng isang mag asawa habang mag bf/gf palang sila... there are lots of ways to keep a relationship sparking all the time... kelangan lang talaga ng effort ng dalawa.. siguro masasabi ko nalang na pag nambabae pa si guy in spite of all his wife's efforts/pagpapaganda/pag-aasikaso eh yun talaga, hindi nalang dapat siya nag-asawa...ibig sabihin lang wala siyang puso at konsiyensya, at higit sa lahat, wala siyang takot sa Diyos. Kelangan pag may isang medyo nakakalimot, yung isa hindi dapat bibitiw sa pagpapaalala and vice versa.. Kailangan laging may mag eeffort, hindi naman sa sinasabi kong yung babaeng asawa lang dapat ito sa lahat ng oras, it also applies sa mga lalaki...

yung tanong na 'hinayaan ko bang mangabit ang asawa ko?'

oo sino nga namang may gusto niyan? yet, marami na ang umamin sa kanilang mga sarili na sila man ay may pagkukulang rin... hindi ko naman sinasabing lahat, pero may mga instances din na ang babae ang nagiging dahilan ng pangangabit ng lalaki...

Lahat tayong mga asawang babae(or kahit GFs palang) ay dapat na nagiging B.*T.C.H. (Babe In Total Control of Herself) - para hindi tayo itratong doormat ng ating mga asawa or bf.
(read Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov)

pero ofcourse, kahit ano pa namang dahilan yan, it still boils down to one of the Lord's Ten Commandments: Do not commit adultery.

[cloudzy_09]

Maraming lalaki nambabae just because they can it doesnt mean na may pag kukulang yung asawa niya well no body is perfect naman pero it doesnt give them the license na mang babae same goes with the wives. Its not an excuse na may pag kukulang ang asawa kung may hindi pinag kakaunawaan ang mag asawa nakukuha sana sa usapan hindi yung mag hahanap ng iba babae.

Marami kami expat sa office na pag dating dito sa pinas una hanap babae kahit na minsan kasama nila yung asawa nila pa sikreto nag hahanap ng babae. Mahal naman nila asawa nila and wala sila balak iwanan misis nila they just want to fool around lang at tumikim ng bago dish daw. Kaya yun minsan sinasamahan pa namin mag pa doctor at may nakuha STD and problema pati si wife nahawaan niya.

[CITIgirl_04]

^ tama ka rin diyan... at nakakalungkot naman yung kuwento mo...

Its not an excuse na may pag kukulang ang asawa kung may hindi pinag kakaunawaan ang mag asawa nakukuha sana sa usapan hindi yung mag hahanap ng iba babae.

true. ganyan naman talaga sana ang dapat na ginagawa ng mag-asawa...

Nakakalungkot na ganyan mag-isip ang ibang kalalakihan.. na tinatratong pagkain ang mga babae.. Ahem, hindi naman po kami pagkain, tao po kami..

Though I don't have the right to judge others kasi si God lang ang huhusga sa bawat isa sa atin.. kung may mga kakilala tayong ganyan siguro bugbugin nalang natin sila through our prayers na baguhin ng Lord ang puso nila at magkaron ng event na makapagpapabago ng takbo ng isipan nila...

[t_r_i_s_h]

I haven't had an affair with a married guy, I may not go to church every Sunday or may not be that religious but I try to abide by the 10 Commandments. If the guy/girl is married, stay the f*ck away!

[paper_doll]

hehe.. naka aliw and may matutunan ka talaga when reading this kind of thread..

pero i am one of the haters ng mga mistresses, kabit, kulasisi, 3rd party etc etc..

Judge them? I don't need to, kasi the moment that they stepped into that kind of relationship (consciously), they already have flashing signs of "kabit" on their forehead, invisible nga lang..

eto lang kasi yan eh.. we are being objective here ah. kasi when you use the subjective line na "di nyo alam ang nararamdaman namin" or "di nyo alam ang story" bulls*** na yan, walang magiging katapusan or sagot tong topic na to.

pero meron sagot eh, isang malaking MALI.

lets discuss it scenario by scenario.. para magkaron naman ng sense..

a guy and girl developed friendship, flourished into something more.. then MU, then steady relationship na. but without knowing ng girl na married si guy pala.. yes, attached na si girl.. yes, may "intimacy" nang nangyayari and all. pero if you are the girl, what would you do if umamin si guy na married na sya? a. umiyak,sisihin si guy and offer friendship na "lang" DAW (which i think is bulls*** anyway) pero sobrang natetempt sya na maging more than friends lang sila lagi pag magkasama daw sila as friends hanggang sa matuluyan na talaga syang maging kabit b. umiyak, sampalin at sisihin si guy, then cut all the communications COMPLETELY and pray to God to guide her para maiwasan na ang makasalanang relasyon na yun c. keber, "eh masaya kami pag magkasama kami eh ("hindi pa naman sila kasal eh!" kung kasal na ang linyang "walang babaeng ginustong maging kabit (pero wag ka, tuloy pa rin ang lola mo).. kung kinder and pinasagutan ng test na yan, malamang sa malamang, makakakuha sya ng perfect score.



a girl is friends with a guy that she knows is married. then habang tumatagal, nagiging mas close sila.. nagkainuman, nagkaaminan. then boom! may relasyon na sila. eto from the start alam na ni girl na married si guy, kahit si guy pa ang lapit ng lapit, dapat gumawa na si girl ng paraan para di na magescalate pa yung relasyon nila. the moment nga na nagkakaron na ng malisya yung friendship nila, she should've escape from it eh. pero ayun, nagpatihulog pa rin sa bangin. at pag nagadvice ka sa kanya ng dapat nyang gawin ang sasabihin nya sayo "anong magagawa ko? sya yung lapit ng lapit?" "eh mahal ko na sya eh" "masaya kami pag magkasama" nakakatawa lang kasi she saw it coming.. pero di nya nilayuan.


for all na may mga situation na alam nila na mageend sa ganyan, sa simula palang, cut all the ties agad. run as fast as you can..

hindi nilalabanan ang temptation, nilalayuan yan. wala pang taong nanalo dyan. malulugmok ka lang pag hindi mo na agad nilayuan yun.

who am i to say all this? i am nobody.. hindi ko pa naexperience maging kabit or yung bf ko magkaron ng kabit. so anong right ko to say anything? i have acquaintances and friends na have experience yan. both sides of the situation.

at nagsisimula yan sa isang maliit ng temptation.. at pag nasimulan na.. napakahirap na tumakas.. nasa kumunoy ka na..

to all the mistresses and 3rd parties out there.. goodluck!