BEING A "MISTRESS"

[elmaldita]

Do you guys have any experience being "the other woman?



Do you guys have any experience being "the other woman?","third party", "Relationship Wrecker", "Slut.." and other names that you can call someone who have a romantic affair with a committed man.


I know.. and I admit that whatever it is...is worng.Pero hindi ko mahinto. I tried, several times to cut this off pero hindi namin magawa. we're friends before this thing started.. he's been with his girlfriend since 2006.. nung una okay pa.. he flirts a little  and I think hnd na bago un with guys. Ako naman, 1 yr ng single and up to now hindi pa ako ready for another commitment,and andami ng ngyre since my last rel. kaya nadala ndin ako with guys pero hindi ko expect na mangyayare yung ganito. He promised me na andyan lang sya whenever.. para lang daw hindi ako makapafeel na lonely.. so i agreed.. umaalis kme.nung una with friends pero lately kame nlng.. Hindi ko alam ano ba tong gngwa ko.. Hindi nmin npguuaspan na kabit ako or whatsoever pero technically ganun na din un... and mahirap pa.. mang ngyayare na samin.. oo pra akong slut sa gngwa ko... hndi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.  



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Thanks guys. I do appreciate everything you said.. harsh man, sympathy.. everything. Yan talaga yung mga kailangan ko now. I just want to share to you guys what really happened...

We started talking 3 yrs ago.. Break sila nun.. Prang "Getting to know each other.." ang stage namen nun pero nahinto kase ng ka boyfriend ako. then last november 2012.. after a tragic breakup for almost a 2 yr relationship sa prang first bf ko. Nagkausap kame ulit... though he was out of the country that time.. So parang siya yung nasandalan ko.. and never niyang nabanggit sakin na ngkaayos sila ng gf nya nun.. kase alam ko ng ka gf din sya ng iba nung panahong hindi ko na sya nakakausap.. then few months after that umuwi sya... nakakasama ko sya with our friends.. prang kame na nun na hind lang official.. and few months ago ko lang nalaman na before pa pala sya umalis ng bansa.. sila na ulit ng gf nya nun...May ngyre na samin before ko pa malaman... almost 3 weeks kmeng walang communication...pero dahil siguro sya yung nsandalan ko after my last breakup... naattached nako ng sobra sakanya to the point na naging okay na sakin na maging "other woman..." basta andyan siya... Nakakatawa... kase months ago ako tong ngaadvice sa friend kong ganito din yung sitwasyon... pero ang hirap nga pala pag sayo nangyayare.. Mahirap... sobrang hirap. naguguilty ako.. sobra sobra pero hindi ko magawang ihinto.. Oo ang t**** ako.. kase meron sakin na umaasa ako na siguro ako piliin niya kahit na alam kong hindi naman mangyayare... 


Ang sakit man basahin bawat comment niyo sakin pero salamat ng marame...Na kahit nakakababa man ng sarili.. Tama naman kayo...  yan din siguro yung mga kailangan ko talagang marinig at maabsorb ng sarili ko.. Thank you.

[smoothie]

Alam mo naman pala na mali. Nasagot mo na ang tanong mo. Kung hindi mo alam, simple lang. Layuan mo siya. Isipin mo kung ikaw yung other half/wife nung lalaki at ganyan ang ginawa sa iyo. Anong mararamdaman mo?

Hindi mo rin naisip na nauutakan ka na guy, may nangyayari sa inyo pero walang nangyayari sa relationship niyo. freeloader din siya.

[cecilydee]

hindi mo mahinto kasi addicted ka and it gives you temporary satisfaction. and to tell you honestly, looks like you dont respect your worth that much. why would you settle for an attached man? Hindi nga siya man, boy lang siya. He doesnt have the b@lls to be a man. i must say hindi lalaki ang taong magsasabi na "nandito lang ako if you are lonely" when in fact he is still in a relationship.

fix yourself first and know your worth before you settle with anybody.

[dropdeadgorgeous]

tapusin mo na yan sis..hindi baleng solo ka..wag ka lang manira ng relasyon ng iba. please. maawa ka sa sarili mo..hindi ka dapat jan. patunayan mo you deserve the right guy.

kung may takot ka kay God.. kumalas ka na.

[budzwhiz]

Gano man kahirap.. tama sinabi ng ibang sissies. Tama na. Nalungkot ako sa post mo e. Not for you but for the girlfriend. Nakakaawa sya. They've been together for so long, sisirain nyo lang nung lalake. Kung may halaga pa yung sarili mo sayo, tigilan mo na yan. Or better yet siguro kayo nalang ang magsama nung lalake. He doesn't deserve to be with the girl e. Confront him and papiliin mo na siya if I were you. Sorry to say, pero tama ka. Kahit hindi nyo napaguusapan, kabit ka na nga. I don't mean to be self-righteous pero pano mo nakukuhang makipaghati sa isang lalake? Binababoy mo lang sarili mo. Kung alam mo na ngang "sl*t" ka na, bat di mo pa tigilan?

[aquacharly]

Don't say that "hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko".

Alam mo what to do. 

But there  is a huge gap between what alam mo  "kelangan gagawin ".mo versus what alam mo "gusto mo gawin". 

Basta keep in mind: "A Relationship based on Sex never lasts"
Sure the Sex is soooo good.  Nothing wrong with that...
Just make sure you won't pay a high price for such a little pork.
      (excuse my French)

Ok, para mas clear ang alam mo nga eh "kelangan  mo gawin":  What must you do to take best care of yourself???
There's your answer. 

[KrabbyPatty!]

Ayaw mo ng commitment? Find a fubu instead. Find a friend with benefits. Hindi yung ganyan na may karelasyon nang iba. Do something lesser evil.

[kath103084]

Kumalas ka . It's never too late.. Madami naman dyan na pwede.
I don't have respect for guys na ganyan. Taking advantage o the situation. Kahit sabihin nya kahit konti may feelings siya for you, still, yung ginagawa nya sa gf nya ngayon hindi malayong gawin din nya sayo sakalaing ikaw ang piliin nya,
Think!

[romantico]

I guess you might be valuing your self less and gets to be somewhat happy with the attention he's giving you. Otherwise you wouldn't be questioning yourself but instead enjoying every moment of it. Ikaw lang makakaalam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto mo. Not only will you feel like you're a slut, mistress or what  not but there's also the possibility that you'll fall in love and when that happens I don't think he's ready to catch you. You need to be honest with yourself before you get hurt. If your dreaming that he'll break up with his GF for you then that's not good because he can do the same to you in the future. If your after the sex and is actually enjoying it then just be aware of the consequences. If your problem is low self esteem then this won't help you one bit because it may not only screw up your reputation but you'll get your heart broken at the same time. I hope you realize what you want soon.

[jenger109]

awww! i was about to tell you sis to read one of my fave book by julie yap daza "etiquette for mistresses".. oopppss, dont get me wrong..i was never and will never be a mistress..and like what the blogger said: "dont judge the reader by the book she reads.. " i was 18 yo when i saw this book and read.. iba na ang cover nya ngayon.. got curious lang.. and i told myself, kaka stress naman pala ang buhay ng isang mistress.. pero kasi choice nila yun e..

http://bookblogs.ning.com/profiles/blogs/etiquette-for-mistresses-by-julie-yap-daza

why settle for less when you can have more?  ang daming guys.. karma is just around the corner..

[katrinac]

sis, madami pa dyan ibang lalake na hindi attached. wag mo hayaan maka sira ka ng isang relasyon. since alam mo naman pala na mali, eh bakit hindi mo pa ihinto? kawawa yung babae. isipin mo if ikaw ang nasa situation ng girl, ano mararamdaman mo? As early as now, putulin mo na kung ano ang dapat putulin. Hindi lang yung gf nya ang kawawa, pati ikaw kawawa. Wag mo hayaan mas lumaki yang gulo na pinasok mo.

[theathoinkxzs]

Nako Sis tigilan na yan. Alam mo na ang sagot, nagbubulag bulagan ka lang. Wag parang gabi! Hindi sya worth ng time mo. And yung girlfriend kawawa naman. Kung ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon nya or may kapatid ka na ginagago din ng boyfriend nya, what would you do? Don't settle for something na nakikihati ka lang.

You can never be happy at the expense of the happiness of others.

[aoshi_01]

Kapatid, respeto naman sa sarili mo. Wag ka namang magpaka baba ng ganyan.

Sa tingin ko nasa age of accountability ka na. Alam mo na ang tama at hindi. What would you do if the situation was reversed, hindi nakakatuwa diba? Tigilan mo na yan.

[stunning_anne]

tigilan mo na yan, not worth it! I tried to be a third party na din.. sa umpisa lang masaya and eventually, mas mahirap and hindi worth yung hirap! mas masaya kung ikaw lang mag isa sa puso at buhay niya! you feel at peace!

[Janelc]

Sis he is just using you for sex. My husband cheated on me kaya galit ako as mga other woman. Put yoursel in the gf's shoes di ba ang sakit.

[det060403]

youre perfectly aware of what youre putting yourself into... and i assume youre smart enough to understand what all the other gtalkers' posts are trying to imply... pero alam natin in the end, ikaw pa din naman masusunod and ikaw lang ang makakagawa ng paraan para matapos ang problema mo. Pray for enlightenment and strength! you'll heal in time.

[brave.soul]

get a support group to help you cut that relationship

[justin3]

TS, since Pasko naman, let me educate you, at tandaan mo... HINDI KA MISTRESS! ok?

dapat bago ka nag-open ng topic, iniwasan mo gamitin ang word na "mistress". take note, halos lahat ng mga sisterettes mo dito na married allergic sa salitang "MISTRESS, KABIT, KULASISI, OTHER WOMAN, etc, etc"

mag-BF-GF pa man lang ang ka-churvahan mo di ba? hindi pa kasal, ayt? eh di, hindi ka nga MISTRESS.
well, you may call it friends with benefits, pero mas harsh ang term ko dyan... "parausan" ka lang oy.
kung sagad sa buto ang sakit ng ginamit kong term, kasi totoo. now kung ayaw mo nun, eh di you better clip your knees whenever he asks for it. the best if cut off all means of communication with him.


pero, kung sadyang soooobrang "masarap" naman talaga ang churvahan eh, eh di tuloy lang.
hindi ka nag-iisa, marami naman yan dito sa Barangay GT. may nagpaparamihan pa nga ng bilang at nagku-compare ng mga sizes at kung saan ginagawa eh.

hindi rin naman kaT4NG4han ang kinasasadlakan mo. parang litson lang yan eh. alam nang ma-cholesterol, nakaka highblood at nakamamatay, pero ang sarap pa rin kumain.
wag lang kita makita sa Reproductive Health thread at natataranta kung ano ang gagawin dahil "delayed" ka ha?


pero TS... maitanong ko lang... hindi ka naman GUYtalker na nagpapanggap na GIRLtalker? 1st-2nd post mo kasi walang [textspeak!]. at ang topic mo... hinala ko lang... sort of like something to "fish" here kung sino ang mag-post na mga kabit or wifeys in a rocky/troubled marriage.
wala lang, malikot lang isip ko eh.

by the way, kung gusto mo talagang makapag-reply sa topic mo, mag accumulate ka muna ng 10-20 posts sa ibang threads.    

[rychel07]

^lol love the lechon analogy, ang likot nga ng isip mo

BTT: hello TS. I basically have the same thing to say, like sa mga ibang nag-reply sayo here. May I just add, kahit pa gano ka-romantic or ka-innocent lang ang start ng affair nyo, it doesn't justify what you are doing. Mali pa rin yan. You are hurting someone, the gf. Kahit hindi pa sila kasal, they're in a relationship (and I assume, it's meant to be exclusive, atleast for the gf), and nakikigulo ka.

Harsh ang ibang replies sayo here, kasi hindi ka naman namin personally kilala. My bestfriend also had an affair this year, good thing she got out of it. Kahit gusto ko syang pagalitan, hindi ko magawa kasi bestfriend ko sya. Kahit naiinis ako sa ginagawa nya, I tried to talk to her calmly.

Unfair nga siguro ang mga naexperience mo with your lovelife, but it doesn't give you the right (kahit gano mo pa feeling na naaapi ka sa mundo) to ruin other people's relationships.

End it na sis, bago ka pa matulad dun sa naging viral na video nung kabit na ginulpi ng legal wife sa mall. Mas masakit yun sis. Ikaw lang ang makakapag-alis ng sarili mo sa situation mong yan.

[mynameisxtine]

Please allow me to continue this thread.

I, myself is and currently a mistress, though hindi sila kasal, hindi din naman ako kasal, kasi kahit ako eh meron na din. sa madaling salita, parehas kaming 3rd party.

Both of us knew that this is wrong, pero sa mata naming dalawa, tama kami, dahil mahal namin ang isa't isa, we tried to cut this off. 4 months kaming walang pansinan, as in wala talaga. pero after that period of time, eto na naman kami, and we love each other more than before.

Hindi ko alam kung panu namin itatama tong maling ginagawa namin. Lalo at masaya kami sa piling ng isat isa. Both of us can't leave each other's arms. Mas mahal namin ang isa't isa.

Ngayun, mas madalas kaming lumabas. Tumatakas, gumagawa ng dahilan para maka alis ng bahay at magkita.

Magreply man kayo o magcomment ng hindi maganda, napagdaanan ko na yan, Immune na ako sa ganyan. I am just sharing, hindi lang pang pleasure or sexual fantasy, satisfaction or what  ang pagiging kabit. May ibang tao, na even they are already commited, they fall out of love sa original at nagiging masaya sa mistress.

I thank you