i feel so much pain...my husband cheated on me

[cabbagepatch]

i really don't know what to do right now...half of my mind gusto ko ipaglaban yung marriage namin yung family na binuo namin but half of it gusto ko makipaghiwalay sa kanya. there's no easy way to accept that your husband betrayed you/cheated you/and make you fooled. i have 2 kids na ayoko maapektuhan sa pinagdadaanan namin ngayon kaya ayoko magpadalos-dalos ng desisyon. i asked him so many times and last night i already confront him and he admit it,say sorry and itatama daw nya ang lahat dahil mahal na mahal nya ko. I don't want to give up but still hindi naman ako si darna para makaya lahat ng pain na binigay nya. mga sis, please pray for me/us to enlighten me na makapag-isip ng tama at magawa ang dapat.i know it's hard pero with God's grace sana makaya ko ang lahat ng ito.

[irish_pearl]

I'm sorry for what happened..
Right now, you're in pain and it's so hard to accept the fact that your husband whom you entrust and loved so much betrayed you, at sinira yung pinangarap nyong magandang family..
You can't pretend that everything is okay at mahirap kumilos ng normal esp. pag nakikita mo asawa mo (I know may mga naglalaro sa isip mo everytime you see him)
I'm not sure if he's really sincere when he said na itatama nya lahat ng mali nya and he must understand whatever your decision is.
It's really hard to give advice if you're not in the present position but the only thing I will do to get over is lumayo muna sa asawa ko (if ever mangyari), para makapag-isip kami pareho esp. him kung bakit niya ginawa yung ganung bagay.

[cabbagepatch]

thanks irish_pearl

and tama ka sobrang daming naglalaro sa isip ko right now na di ko ma contain ano ba dapat talaga gawin sana lang talaga malagpasan ko to and positive naman ako na kakayanin ko to whatever happens dahil me mga anak ako na mapaghuhugutan ko ng lakas.

[irish_pearl]

yeah, you have to be strong for your kids. Make your hubby realize what he did and he should be ready for the consequences.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you find out yung pagcheat niya?

[Janelc]

i really don't know what to do right now...half of my mind gusto ko ipaglaban yung marriage namin yung family na binuo namin but half of it gusto ko makipaghiwalay sa kanya. there's no easy way to accept that your husband betrayed you/cheated you/and make you fooled. i have 2 kids na ayoko maapektuhan sa pinagdadaanan namin ngayon kaya ayoko magpadalos-dalos ng desisyon. i asked him so many times and last night i already confront him and he admit it,say sorry and itatama daw nya ang lahat dahil mahal na mahal nya ko. I don't want to give up but still hindi naman ako si darna para makaya lahat ng pain na binigay nya. mga sis, please pray for me/us to enlighten me na makapag-isip ng tama at magawa ang dapat.i know it's hard pero with God's grace sana makaya ko ang lahat ng ito.

Sis we are going through the same thing mas worst nga sa akin kasi nabuntis niya si kabitch during one of hubby's trips back home (LDR sila). Hubby was so sorry and promised to break up with kabitch but will support the child. Although he is very remorseful  the damage has been done mahirap na magtiwala ulit.  I forgave him for the sake of the kids at may natitira pa rin namang akong pagmamahal sa kanya but it is so hard to forget. I know marami ang tumataas ang kilay when you stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids pero kanya kanyang sitwasyon ramdam ko na mahal pa rin naman ako ni hubby and he is really tying very hard to win me back. Mahirap nga lang intindihin kung bakit niya ako nagawang lokohin I guess tao lang siya nakakamali.

I did try to kick him out though pero he begged to stay at ayusin daw namin sa isang banda naisip ko bakit ko hahayaang si kabitch ang magwagi kami ang tunay na pamilya and it's not like hubby wants to leave us. Sabi din ni hubby what he had with kabitch was not really a relationship it was just a fling na aksidenteng nabuntis alam mo naman sa pinas maraming babae ang papatol akala siguro rich si hubby dahil balikbayan .  Gaya mo sis prayers helps a lot and talk to someone you trust. Goodluck sa atin.

[LoSiNGGRiP]

its not easy, i was once in your place and in the place of the other woman.. men are really crap. they will make us believe according to what they want to happen but the thing is they are heartless when they chose to cheat on us. dont accept alibis, it is made to lighten their mistakes. the 2nd chance they're asking is made for them to be careful the 2nd time around. and the hard part is when youre the 3rd party and most probably they also want to keep you yet they are needing time and your undying understanding if they chose to fix their marriage first for the sake of the kids and other financial issues.we are all human and we all have emotions,and most of us are ruled by that.. and if we believe to all what they say,then good luck to us!
now,i dont want to be in the shoe of any parties above.all i want this time is a man for me,only for me.
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[gracia_14]

Sis we are going through the same thing mas worst nga sa akin kasi nabuntis niya si kabitch during one of hubby's trips back home (LDR sila). Hubby was so sorry and promised to break up with kabitch but will support the child. Although he is very remorseful  the damage has been done mahirap na magtiwala ulit.  I forgave him for the sake of the kids at may natitira pa rin namang akong pagmamahal sa kanya but it is so hard to forget. I know marami ang tumataas ang kilay when you stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids pero kanya kanyang sitwasyon ramdam ko na mahal pa rin naman ako ni hubby and he is really tying very hard to win me back. Mahirap nga lang intindihin kung bakit niya ako nagawang lokohin I guess tao lang siya nakakamali.

I did try to kick him out though pero he begged to stay at ayusin daw namin sa isang banda naisip ko bakit ko hahayaang si kabitch ang magwagi kami ang tunay na pamilya and it's not like hubby wants to leave us. Sabi din ni hubby what he had with kabitch was not really a relationship it was just a fling na aksidenteng nabuntis alam mo naman sa pinas maraming babae ang papatol akala siguro rich si hubby dahil balikbayan .  Gaya mo sis prayers helps a lot and talk to someone you trust. Goodluck sa atin.

we do have the same story, i feel you mga sis it was really painful sa part nating mga babae lalo na if you guys already have children na,. nagyari yun samin 4 years ago but still the pain stays there eh even though napatawad mo na yung guy and all.. para syang isang malaking bato na naka dagan sa dibdib mo na hindi ganun kadali maalis lalo na yung part na itago mo yung issue na yun sa family mo to protect the guy parin para ba hindi lang sya masira sa family mo ganun..

 sa katulad kong paulit ulit nang nakipag kumpitensya sa mga girls ng partner ko ang dami na kasi nila eh..ang advise ko mga sis never give up your man as well as your relationship kasi ako hindi ako nagpa talo sa kanila and proud ako sa sarili ko because it made me stronger now,,i stayed and hold with our relationship kahit na nasira man ng guy yung trust ko enough na yung maipakita nya sakin and sa baby namin na pinagsisihan na nya lahat ng nagawa nya samin and iprove nya na kaya nyang baguhin sarili nya.. right now we are living together for 8 years na and next year march 2014 we are making it official and decided to get married..

i hope sis cabbagepatch things might turn ok na for you and your partner in God's time,, i know its hard but for now focus on your children or make yourself busy para hindi mag focus yung mind mo sa problem mo soon makikita mo magiging ok din lahat...   

[aquacharly]

i really don't know what to do right now...half of my mind gusto ko ipaglaban yung marriage namin yung family na binuo namin but half of it gusto ko makipaghiwalay sa kanya. there's no easy way to accept that your husband betrayed you/cheated you/and make you fooled. i have 2 kids na ayoko maapektuhan sa pinagdadaanan namin ngayon kaya ayoko magpadalos-dalos ng desisyon. i asked him so many times and last night i already confront him and he admit it,say sorry and itatama daw nya ang lahat dahil mahal na mahal nya ko. I don't want to give up but still hindi naman ako si darna para makaya lahat ng pain na binigay nya. mga sis, please pray for me/us to enlighten me na makapag-isip ng tama at magawa ang dapat.i know it's hard pero with God's grace sana makaya ko ang lahat ng ito.

You don't know what to do?
Tama ka, pray for clarity of mind & courage. 

Then, take a hard realistic look at YOUR circumstances.

You have a job/business? 
Can you, on your own, provide for your kids' basic needs?
If your answer is "No" --  then hwag ka na mag-isip half of the time na "gusto mo makipag hiwalay".
Pano mga bata? San kayo pupunta? 
Mga husbands na pinapalayas or iniiwan --  hindi yan cooperative sa pagbigay ng child & wife support.  And if you have to go to court pa to get child support - eh baka nasa College na anak mo, saka mag court decision ng P500/month child support. Susko. (Justice grinds exceedingly slow in the Phils. )
Napansin ko pa nga, the richer ---  the more madamot, the meaner.  Kasi, they know & accept: Money is Power.  (Some women   think it is Love that makes the world go round. IMO,  the real truth is that it is Money. )

Do you have a mortgage &/or installment contract for a couple of years?
If yes -- and you or your hubby can't each pay it on your own --  you risk losing the house and whatever is on installment if you kick him out.  May economies in living together. Pag 2 tirahan, mas magastos... Baka hindi makayanan lahat ng gastos ... Mawala pa pinaghirapan nyo ipundar.

So maybe, hindi ka  talaga puede humiwalay  for now.  Later on, makaya mo -- AFTER mo maayos ang financial sources mo.  Reality sucks, sure -- but you just gotta suck it up.
(Kaya I am all for a woman developing & maintaining her own financial independence.)
Marami na kong nakita ng creativeness ng mga women who land in desperate circumstances.  Just open your eyes.  (Must be the survival instinct kicking in.  Of course, it cannot be denied that ang bounce back eh mas mabilis & easier if ang babae eh hindi financially dependent. Just saying)

So, Sis CABBAGEPATCH, tama ka --  you have to think this through very well by looking at your reality.
Tama ka, hwag mong kaladkarin  sa kahirapan ang kids mo  -- kasi you cannot control your emotions kasi winalanghiya ka ng husband mo. 

So, if you cannot dump him kasi you do not have financial power --  pwes, magtitiis ka muna.
Each day, force yourself to work towards your financial independence.  Dadating din ang araw puede mo sya kick out of the house, if that's what you still want.


Now, ASSUMING may paraan ka para ma buhay with your kids  na  hiwalay kayong 2....
The question is:  which is the better decision for you:  hiwalay or no hiwalay?
IF he goes into 24/7 TRUE Remorse AND Reform --  ok pa, you can decide to forgive & move on...
Pero if: Sorry... Hanggang sa uulitin....  Susko...
Pero decision mo pa rin yun kung matatanggap mo paulit ulit ang serial philanderer.
Depende, kung hanggang saan kaya mo.

Every Betrayal is a Wounding.  (Yes, I know how you are suffering now --  been there, suffered too.)
But not all wounds will kill you. 
A Wounding can make a Woman turn into a ghost.  Yung, hindi na naka isip beyond and recover after -- she loses herself. 
Some women --  A Wounding will test her inner strength & she comes out of the painful experience knowing herself  better & growing stronger.
It is your decision saan mo ibabagsak sarili mo.  You decide.

Is this fair? No
But who ever said Life is fair?
Your success in Life will be determined by how well you ride the ups & downs.  Don't just "go with the flow". 
Remember: God helps those who help themselves. 

Another thing:  Tell your husband hindi mo kelangan na basta mahalin ka nya.  Kelangan mo he is kind to you & respects you.  Where there is Kindness & Respect, True & enduring Love follows.

 

[aquacharly]

You gotta come out of this Wounding knowing yourself better (your strengths & non-negotiables in Life);  AND getting back control of YOUR life.
If you don't --  paulit ulit kang gagawing Loser.

[fortunecat8]

Thanks sis aquacharly! I always read your posts!

[Lady Blue]

^^ I so love reading your posts, sis aquacharly. Too bad walang like button dito.

[Girltalker2]

I'm sorry for what happened..
Right now, you're in pain and it's so hard to accept the fact that your husband whom you entrust and loved so much betrayed you, at sinira yung pinangarap nyong magandang family..
You can't pretend that everything is okay at mahirap kumilos ng normal esp. pag nakikita mo asawa mo (I know may mga naglalaro sa isip mo everytime you see him)
I'm not sure if he's really sincere when he said na itatama nya lahat ng mali nya and he must understand whatever your decision is.
It's really hard to give advice if you're not in the present position but the only thing I will do to get over is lumayo muna sa asawa ko (if ever mangyari), para makapag-isip kami pareho esp. him kung bakit niya ginawa yung ganung bagay.

Cabbagepatch, I agree on what irish pearl has said above.

You have to be wary and careful, sa mga pinagsasabi nya kasi nagcheat na sya once. So hindi mo alam if he is just saying these things to maintain your marriage, while keeping something on the side.  Kahit sinong lalaki itanong mo na nangaliwa, ang "pagtatama" ng mali is not always leaving the other girl.  Puede lie low muna then continue on the side, that way, iniisip nya, and he is also hoping, "walang masasaktan". Since hindi mo alam, happy ka na.  He is happy also as he has both of you.  Yung kabit, happy din kasi sinabihan din sya na sya ang mahal.

Also, sabi ni sis irish pearl, importante lumayo. For me, when this betrayal happened to me, hindi ko ito naisip. But I agree with irish pearl.  It is when you can think objectively, can you make a sound decision.  Mahirap mag isip objectively kung lagi sya andyan. 

Pero sis, upon reading this thread, there are incidents din like Janelc where you can feel if he still really loves you.  The only danger lang is baka akala mo or pilitin mo lokohin sarili mo na ikaw lang ang mahal nya pero hindi.  You have to know the truth kasi you owe it to yourself and your kids -dyan nakasalalay ang marriage ninyo, kung mahal ka pa talaga nya, at ikaw lang. 

Sis, you're on the right track - prayers, clear mind at sana maayos ang maging decision mo.  You just have to take into account yung mga advises and see what's applicable in your situation.  But in your decision also, aside from making sure he still loves you, dapat he should also be willing to make that super extra effort to make your marriage work, hindi lang ikaw ang dapat mag effort. 

Take your time, to grieve, to think.  This situation is never easy.  Huwag lang sobrang tagal.  And just make sure once you make your move or turn away from your marriage, SURE ka na.  Kasi mahirap magdecision ng padalos dalos, especially when people like kids, your parents and relatives, are involved.

para syang isang malaking bato na naka dagan sa dibdib mo na hindi ganun kadali maalis lalo na yung part na itago mo yung issue na yun sa family mo to protect the guy parin para ba hindi lang sya masira sa family mo ganun..

sa katulad kong paulit ulit nang nakipag kumpitensya sa mga girls ng partner ko ang dami na kasi nila eh..ang advise ko mga sis never give up your man as well as your relationship kasi ako hindi ako nagpa talo sa kanila and proud ako sa sarili ko because it made me stronger now,,i stayed and hold with our relationship kahit na nasira man ng guy yung trust ko enough na yung maipakita nya sakin and sa baby namin na pinagsisihan na nya lahat ng nagawa nya samin and iprove nya na kaya nyang baguhin sarili nya.. right now we are living together for 8 years na and next year march 2014 we are making it official and decided to get married..

i hope sis cabbagepatch things might turn ok na for you and your partner in God's time,, i know its hard but for now focus on your children or make yourself busy para hindi mag focus yung mind mo sa problem mo soon makikita mo magiging ok din lahat...   

This is a very rare occasion.  But possible din magwork ulit.  Again, kung mahal ka pa ng guy at kung willing sya magbago (totoong nagbago ha hindi kunwari lang).

In my case kasi napagod din ako.  I disagree na basta pag hindi mo ifocus ang mind mo sa problem mo magiging ok na ang lahat. Hindi sya magic.  Maybe if you are super lucky, puede sya mangyari?  But in my case, I am not the type na swerte na nananalo sa lottery.  I work hard for each and every thing I have.  So for me, when I did this, I felt na niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko na ok lahat or magiging ok lahat pero hindi.  Nakaksira sya ng ulo.  I like the way sis gracia_14 put it, parang "may mabigat na bato sa dibdib mo", sakin kasi ang description ko dyan is parang araw araw kang tinotorture ng utak mo, at never ako nagkaron ng peace of mind.   Kasi nga in my case, I was always in doubt with his sincerity.  Hanggang sa nalaman ko na nagkaron ulit sya ng second na anak sa labas, and that is when I called it quits.

[Girltalker2]

Sorry medyo OT, pero since nabanggit ko narin in my previous post about being "swerte" at winning the lottery... dito ko narin isingit.

I believe being able to marry a husband that does not wander around (or flirt) and is faithful to you is like winning in a lottery. Mas maliit pa nga ang odds nya.  Kaya kung naka marry  kayo ng ok na hubby, make sure you cherish him.

Tapos kung sakali naman nangaliwa sya. Dyos porsanto, kung swerte talaga kayo, ito mga puede mangyari (and they happen because I know of people who experienced this) - namatay ang kabit or nangaliwa si kabit so ang naging default ni lalaki is to go back to the wife. It is also through miracle lang or divine intervention nangyayari ito. But sadly, it did not happen to me, and ang worse pa nangyari is lalo nadagdagan pa ang problema ko.

Pero sa lahat naman kasi ng decision na ginagawa natin, tayo lang makakapagsabi kung ano ang tama for us.  Sakin kasi I never felt so at peace and happy about myself until iniwan ko sya.  Parang sobra kasi yung sakit na dinulot nya sakin na feeling ko sa tanan ng buhay ko, wala syang katumbas.  Kaya nung humiwalay ako, kahit na tumanda ako mag isa with my kids, mas masaya parin ako kesa to live in hell in that marriage. 

Wishing you all the luck TS, basta always fight for your happiness and your kids' well being.  Tandaan mo, hindi lahat sa lahat ng situation is better for the kids if daddy is around. Misnomer iyan na kelangan intact ang pamilya para better for the kids kaya laging nagtitiis yung martyr na wife.  There are instances where this is not true.

[Janelc]

Tama si Sis Girltaker2 tayo lang ang makakapagsabi kong tama ang decision natin.  I chose to stay for my family and because hubby is trying everything to win me back mas maasikaso, mas sweet, ma gift, dinner outs, weekends get away lahat na yata ng alam niyang makakapag pasaya sa akin ginawa na niya sino ba naman ako para hindi siya bigyan ng chance for the sake of my kids.  Pero hindi madali para sa akin I still have night mares and sometimes I would wake up crying and he is always there to to give me a hug and assures me that everything is ok na wala na sila susuportahan na lang daw niya ang bata.  This is the hardest part kasi may bata and what if the kabitch uses the baby to extort money from hubby? Walang katapusan di ba? Although wala ding katapusan ang binibigay na assurance ni hubby like no more holidays back home  na hindi kami kasama (LDR sila kabitch is in Pinas), hindi na mauulit etc I still keep a watchful eye on him ganun yata talaga pag nasira ang tiwala matagal bago maibalik.

Sa mga sis na dumaranas ang pinag dadaan ko I know someday we'll get through this. Time and prayers will heal us eventually. Good luck mga sis.

[lisse]

...Tandaan mo, hindi lahat sa lahat ng situation is better for the kids if daddy is around. Misnomer iyan na kelangan intact ang pamilya para better for the kids kaya laging nagtitiis yung martyr na wife.  There are instances where this is not true.

I so agree! Kung minsan nga mas nakakasama pa na nagkakasakitan na ang mag-asawa na nakikita ng kids. Mas nagiging scarred sila pag nakikita nila na may mga nights hindi sa kanila natutulog dad nila, and may mga moments na umiiyak mom nila. When my dad cheated on my mom back when we were small for x many times, nag-usap-usap kami ng mga siblings ko na kay mommy kami sasama pag naghiwalay sila. e hindi siya iniwan ni mommy. then nung umiiyak siya, we went to her and asked her why she keeps on letting dad in opur house pa. sabi niya kasi ayaw daw niya na wala kaming daddy. our then youngest kid sister who's only 8 yelled, "mas ayaw naman namin na may daddy nga kami pero lagi naman kayo nag-aaway at lagi na lang nawawala pag matutulog na kami!"

I am not saying na this is how your kids think nga ha, just merely citing an example na tama si sis Girltalker2, na hindi lagi nakakabuti for kids na mag-stay sa marriage na wala ng direksyon.

But then, only you can decide what's best for you and your kids. And please do not decide nor act out of anger. Take time to calm down and be rational when deciding something. And of course, pray. SIYA lang talaga takbuhan natin during there trying times. Goodluck sayo, sis!

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, I fought for our marriage for 10 years. ang mali ko, hindi ko inanalyze kung mahal pa nya ako. Pilit ko lokohin ang sarili ko na ako naman ang pinakasalan.  Tapos iniisip ko rin na may mga anak kami kaya better off mga anak ko kung may father. 

But I was wrong.  Nagsisisi ngako bakit ako nag antay ng 10 years. Ngayon mas problemado ako kasi my kids grew up knowing him.  Sana nga hindi nalang, mas madali pa naging problema ko ngayon.

[cabbagepatch]

salamat mga sis...lahat ng advise nyo sobrang nakatulong and me point lahat..update ko lang nakapagusap na kami, yes he admit it and sabi nya tinapos nya pero syempre di naman ganun kadali yun and tanging sarili lang nya nakakaalam ng katotohanan kung [textspeak!] na ba talaga status nila...May cel number ako ng girl pero ayoko ng alamin pa lahat ng detalye kahit na gustuhin ko (like real name,san nakatira, san nagwork etc) man parang wala rin buting maidudulot pag inalam ko pa lahat lahat baka mas lalo lang ako ang masaktan.I'm not a perfect wife either, madami din akong pagkukulang pero ang mangaliwa ata ang pinakadi ko magagawa kahit na ano pang klase syang asawa.yes, as of now kulang ang capabilities ko na buhayin ang mga anak ko, I have work pero di sapat ang kinikita ko.  and Yes, im giving him second chance madaming beses na din kaming ng heart2heart talk and I feel his sincerity. kaya sa lahat ng mga sisses na same ng pinagdaanan ko mahirap kung sa mahirap talaga pero pag nagdasal ka and inoffer mo ke God yung problems mo mararamdaman mo yung presence nya and papagaanin nya yung burdens na dala mo and makakapagisip ka ng maayos kung anong tama. sa nangyari samin napaka aga pa para sabihin ko na ok at tama ang nagawa kong decision but I'm giving my best shot para sa family na binuo namin. Sa mga sisses ko dito na nagbigay ng oras nila para magbigay ng payo salamat and cyberhugs sa inyong lahat....

[Girltalker2]

^ good luck sis, just pray.

Hindi naman sa hindi ako nagdarasal, but I would not say na lahat nadadaan sa dasal.  I went through almost every single novenas before. nagmimisa din ako maaga sa morning. I prayed hard nung nalaman kong may kalaguyo asawa ko.  Walang kinahinatnan iyan, imbis, binigyan sila ni Lord ng anak.  So para sakin hindi lahat nadadaan sa prayers. Nagro rosary din ako every day.  Then after a few years, nagkaron ulit ng second na anak sa labas ang asawa ko.  Does it make sense to me?  No. It never did.

[aquacharly]

I believe in the power of prayers.
Sometimes though, we get the answers a bit garbled.  Allow me  to share an example.

In my case, ang luwag luwag luwag ko sa hubby ko.
Boys' night out? Sure. Whatever time he got back, 1 lang tanong ko: Kumain ka na?
I ignored the little red flags, thinking -- oh, mawawala din yan . I just focused more on being the Best Total Performer --  wife, lover, mother, home manager, business partner... Whatever & all. Ang big time ga** ko.  Coz in all that trying-hard being, as I tried harder -- I lost more of my Self, I became increasingly far from my authentic self.

So, there was his effing around here & there, the heartbreak here & there, the crisis now & then....
I prayed harder things would "get right". 
Looking back, all that were like  tabos thrown at me by God -- para matauhan ako.
Eh hindi ako nakikinig, so 1 day He must've said: "Hija, ang tigas ng ulo mo, ayaw mo makinig: o Eto  - hagisan kita ng bathtub!"   Boink!

The bathtub was my discovery that he had a kab1tch for 2 years.
He had ended the affair 6 months before I learned of it --  but still, feeling ko nabagsakan ako ng bathtub.

What were the prayers for? Was all that praying a waste of time?
No.
My prayers were answered, but not in the simple way I demanded or made deals with God over: that things would "get right"
Instead...
We each had to "get it right".  We had to realize what really mattered to us individually.  We each had to honestly face what were the non-negotiables.  As individuals, what was best in us?  Could we live with each others' non-negotiables, still be happy & still bring out the best in us? 

Previous to the bathtub, he set the tone of our marriage. Sunudsunuran ako.
After the bathtub -- Aba! Teka!
You and your effing around is non-negotiable to my authentic self.
My marriage behavior standards & expectations are high, non-negotiable.  Hindi mo kaya ako abutin.
If you, whom I love to the moon & back --  will drag me through a series of  tawdry oink-oink affairs ---  my authentic self finds that soo baboy-baboy kadiri. Go. I can't even bear to look at you, you have no integrity to me. Go, go effing around if that makes you happy. Go.

My prayers were answered.
He "gets it right" now -- 24/7.  As far as I know. So far, good.

But for some -- a sister, some BFFs --  the prayers are answered with no bathtubs. But answered with epiphanies: Boink!  "This is not what I deserve.   Goodbye!"

Prayers, like questions, are answered in different ways.  But these are all answered.
That's why, IMO, one should include in our prayers a request for clarity of mind & courage --  so we can proceed with God's Will.

[Janelc]

Sabi nga nasa tao ang gawa nasa Diyos ang awa tama naman di ba kahit dasal ka ng dasal kung wala ka namang ginagawa walang mangyayari sayo.  After I found out about my husband's infidelity and decided to forgive him I took a hard look at myself although he assured me na walang kulang sa akin I realized a masyado akong naging kampante I made my kids my first priority lalo na si bunso at napabayaan ko si hubby. When I go shopping I used to buy him little something now it's always for the kids. Naging pabaya din ako sa sexy time namin.  Naging insecure siya about his looks due to age and I never said "ÿou are still handsome honey".  I also  wasn't as malambing anymore.  I know these are not enough reasons for him to cheat but I realized I was not the perfect wife I thought I was. I decided to forgive him and start over so aside from prayers I also need to improve myself hindi lang siya ang nag tatry to win me back.