How can i ask my sister to pay me?

[peenitokss]

Ganito kasi yon mga sis.. Way back 2010, nalubog sa utang yong sister ko. She has a good paying job naman. Kaso na-addict sa kakagamit ng credit card until nagkapatong patong na. I lend her 50k para mabayaran nya utang nya. She told me na huhulog hulugan nya un. Pero until now, ni piso hindi sya nakapaghulog. Its been 3 years.

Napansin ko sa sister ko, sige na naman sya sa pagbili ng mga signature clothes, bags, shoes and gadgets. Pero i'm sure wala na syang credit card kaya cash lahat pinambibili nya sa mga yon.

Ang kinakasama ng loob ko is hindi nya magawang bayaran utang nya sakin bago sya mabuhay ulit sa luho.

Pregnant ako right now kaya i really need money. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko sya ire-remind or sisingilin sa utang nya ng hindi sya mapapahiya. Alangan namang wala na lang yon? samantalang sya, sige sa pagbili ng luho nya. Hard earned money ko yon when i was still single.

Help naman pls..

[Superjoie]

Tell it as it is sis? I'm sure your sister will understand your situation, specially you need money right now. Maybe kailangan mo lang ivoice out sa kanya. Kapag di pa rin sya nagbayad after mo sabihin s kanya.. maybe your mom can help?

[peenitokss]

Dati kasi sis na-feel kong umiiwas sya sakin. Siguro napahiya sya kasi all the while, ang alam samin she's well off. Lately na nga lang ulit kami naging ok. Kaya may apprehension akong sabihan sya kasi bka mapahiya na naman.. Hindi alam ng parents ko na nagka ganun sya. Hindi nila alam na pinahiram ko sya ng ganung amount.

[msnowhere]

Tell it as it is sis? I'm sure your sister will understand your situation, specially you need money right now. Maybe kailangan mo lang ivoice out sa kanya. Kapag di pa rin sya nagbayad after mo sabihin s kanya.. maybe your mom can help?

I agree with her sis. I had a problem before with my brother. Malapit na kami dumating sa point na nag-aaway na but I really insisted na bayaran niya ako. I asked respectfully but firmly. Kahit di buo yung amount na binayad niya atleast natuto na akong di siya pahiramin at siya di na rin humiram sa akin. I told him also na utang is utang. Always remember the time when you are in need and the relief na nakahiram ka so be grateful by paying your due.

[peenitokss]

^ that is exactly my sentiments sis.. I saved her from having sleepless nights kakaisip kung pano nya mairaraos yong utang nya. tapos ngayon na na-relieve na sya, di na nya ko maalalang bayaran. 

[theshopaholicprincess]

^ sis I would say to her directly na bayaran yung utang nya. I know she is your sister and all but dapat natuto na sya sa mistakes nya pero it seems like she's going back to her old maluho life and yet can't pay you kahit 1/4 man lang nung inutang nya sayo. 50K is a big money to lend and imagine with that amount you can almost pay normal delivery. So for me ask her directly and wag ka na mahiya. She should have known what's her limit na. Kung ayaw nya magbayad sayo, I would suggest to ask na rin yung parents mo na i-enlighten sya. Brutal na kung brutal na malaman ng parents mo but your sister is financially irresponsible. Ok lang naman bumili ng mamahalin gamit at afford mo but, it should not affect other people. If she cannot pay you in full, at least kahit a month bayaran ka nya unti unti.

[peenitokss]

^ Thanks sis for your reply. I guess tama kayong lahat. Wala talagang ibang way but to tell her directly. Siguro i'll start to compose na lang kung pano ko sasabihin sa kanya. Maybe i'll text her na lang. Nahiya kasi talaga ako pag personal.

[theshopaholicprincess]

^ sis if she's around the block or just near I would dropped by personally para malaman nya na seryoso ka sa pagsingil sa kanya. She's really blessed to have a sister like you. Kasi kung ganyan sister ko hahayaan ko talaga sya para matuto sya sa mali nya na mag living la vida loca and then halos idemanda na ng credit card company dahil sa bonggang utang.

[gt76]

Bago ko pinautang kapatid ko ng pera 2yrs ago  (100k) sinabihan ko sya na bayaran nya kahit pakonti konti, kahit 5k or 10k a month, so far kahit na pumapalya sya sa pagbabayad malapit na rin namang matapos hiniram nya. Kung wala talagang pambayad sis mo (which is obvious naman na meron kase balik luho na naman sya) sabihin mo kahit 10k a month ibayad ya dahil gagamitin mo sa panganganak mo. 

[em_cee]

Come to think of it, sis mo yun may utang, pero ikaw ang nahihiya maningil.  Ganun din ako minsan.  Pero small amounts lang yun sa akin.  Nagbebenta kasi ako ng stuffs sa office, natuto na rin ako maningil.

Huwag ka mahiya maningil.  Siya dapat mahiya kasi 3 years na yun utang nya, pero bina-balewala lang nya.  Kaya siguro nya bina-balewala kasi mabait ka. 

I always tell myself, wag sobrang bait. Dapat nasa lugar din yun pagiging mabait. 

[theshopaholicprincess]

Isa pa dapat na talaga mahiya sis mo sayo kasi kung sa iba sya umutang ng 50k baka hindi lang 50k babayaran nya dahil sa interest at kung ano anong hidden charges. I know nakakahiya talaga maningil pero we need to be firm about it especially if there's a huge amount involve. Hindi naman pinupulot ang pera saka maisip din ng sis mo na you're pregnant so you would really need money talaga.

[Superjoie]

Before anything else sis, I think the important thing you need to do now is to voice it out. Tell it with compassion para maiwasan na din ang away. Kung yung ugali nya is katulad ng sinasabi mo na ayaw nya mapahiya, blah blah.. she will go defensive agad pag siningil mo sya upfront. Lambingin mo muna sis, tapos tsaka mo singilin. hehe

[graZiousa]

sis tama talaga na kausapin mo, or kahit itext mo ok na yon. may utang ako sa ate ko, hangang ngayon di pa tapos bayaran. nakakahiya na nga, minsan nga tinext ako ni sister na need na daw nya. pero hindi naman yong buong amount. pero mas ok sakin na itext hindi ganong pressure samin pareho. need ko kasi ng check up so nung may time kami mag usap nabangit ko sa kanya na pwede next year  na ako makakatutok talga ng bayad, and she said yes naman.. maiintindihan ka nya sis kasi kahit hindi mo sabihin ala nya na kailangan mo ng pera para sa panganganak mo..

[peenitokss]

thank you sa lahat ng nag-reply 

ite-text ko na siya talaga. tamang tama kasi bigayan ng 13th month. kahit half man lang yong maibigay nya.

[daveigh]

That same scenario happened to me and my sister. So what I did :

- I gave her rules (no out of town trips, I will give her allowance every kinsenas) that she has to follow until she pays me off.
- I got her payroll atm.
- She cant resign on her work
- If she has office outings, dun ko lang sya bibigyan ng allowance other than her pamasahe
- If malubog ulit sya sa utang, I wont help her anymore, she's on her own.

I have a son now & paying for our house so the money I lent is very very precious to us. Thankfully she understood na it was her mistake. Hopefully matuto sya.

[peenitokss]

^ higpit mo sis ha  i wish i could also to that. pero i dont think so. Ok naman kayo ng sister mo ngayon?

[daveigh]

^ yes ok kami. in fact she lives with me.

I had to do that for her own sake. She still kept on buying stuff she does not really need nun nag-start na ako sa pagsingil sa kanya. Naiwan ko kasi sandali ang ATM nya sa kanya. Her backpay na 10k? 2k na lang ang natira.

Tsaka para for my peace of mind din. Hindi na ako nahihirapan maningil. She knows its part of her consequence naman din eh kasi diniscuss ko yan before we went on with it. She knows I have a son AND paying for our mortgage so every single peso counts now to me.

I also went on to that phase pero awa ng Diyos kinaya ko magisa pero I had to file a personal loan pa. Sya kasi ilang taon nang ganyan. Hindi kayang turuan ang sarili, finance grad pa yan ha. Some people just need a bitter pill pa para matuto eh.

[peenitokss]

^ Almost same pala tayo ng situation sis. Kasi that time nong pinahiram ko sya, kakatapos ko lang din magbayad ng personal loan ko sa office.

Hay, i wish my sister will be sensible and responsible in handling her money. Accounting graduate din sya.

[peenitokss]

Update mga sis:

I texted my sister yesterday. Sinabi ko na baka pwede na nya hulug hulugan yong nahiram nya sakin before since kakailanganin ko ng pera sa panganganak. I also reminded her not to spend too much kasi sabi ko dami ko nakikitang gamit nyang bago na puro signature.

Nagreply sya, ask lang nya how much yong total na nahiram nya sakin. Then dineny nya yong mga gamit nya. Fake daw mga yon.

Yon lang. when i answered back kung magkano utang nya. D na nagreply. D naman nya sinabi kung how much ihuhulog nya monthly at kung kelan sya mag start. hays.

[evilwoman]

^follow up ka after a week or day or two before sweldo to remind her.kahit ikaw na magset ng amount per hulog at kelan sya magstart.pipiyok naman siguro yan if di nya afford.wag mo na lang banggitin uli yung pinagsshopping nya.dagdag away lang yan.focus ka sa paniningil.