^^ I think I went through a similar phase sa first two-three weeks namin ni baby. Well, I didn't really feel distant from her, pero I really felt exhausted and frustrated then. Minsan umiiyak ako, especially pag madaling araw tapos iyak ng iyak si baby kasi colicky or me growth spurt or cluster-feeding. Dagdag pa ang sore nipples, kulang sa tulog, etc.
what helped was pag nakaramdam ako ng inis or something, I'd give baby to hubby. Kahit umiiyak, basta alam kong busog naman, nilalayo ko muna. Then I'd sit in silence in the room or sa cr for a while. When I feel I've composed myself na, I'd get baby or hubby brought baby over to me. if wala si hubby, I'd put baby down sa crib or sa bed and let her cry for a few mins. Then breathing exercises ako. kukunin ko sya pag medyo ok na.. I guess it helped din na I was into yoga before kaya napaparelax ko sarili ko.
First month, I was hands-on too. My only rest was when kukunin ng Mom ko si baby around 6am para paarawan sa labas. I just make sure na kaka-feed nya lang before lumabas para di agad umiyak. At least 30mins-1hr of me-time din yun. Pagkabalik from paaraw, ako na ulit. Hubby took 2weeks paternity leave so that helped din kasi sya assistant ko sa mga bagay-bagay.
i guess it's normal for some of us to go through that phase.. but it gets better, sis. When baby starts to sleep longer, and she doesn't look/feel so fragile anymore, you'll get better rest, etc.
After a month, tumatakas kami ni hubby kahit quick lunch or dinner lang. Minsan movie. I feed baby before umalis, then usually after 2-3hrs pa sya ulit dedede so pagkadede, alis kami agad, iwan muna kay yaya, nakalapag lang sa crib. At least for 2hrs e nakalabas ako ng house at nakapag-"date" with hubby. Buti madaming ok na kainan and cinemas malapit sa amin, so di namin kelangan lumayo para makapag-"us" time.. mabilis din makauwi pag biglang kelangan ako ni baby.
sis, get all the help you can, from your mom, your hubby, or kung kanino man. When you feel overwhelmed, step back, stay away from baby muna, let her cry for a few minutes lalo't alam mo namang busog sya and hindi basa ang diapers. Kunin mo na lang ulit when you're feeling better na. While you're alone, think about why you're doing all these. Remind yourself that our baby also feels helpless kasi kakalabas lang sa womb, malamang sila din nao-overwhelm sa new world nila. So they need our comfort, the warmth of our arms and the security it provides them. Try to be relaxed when breastfeeding kasi sabi daw e the baby senses our emotions din. Deep breathing...
sa awa ng Diyos, magna-9mos na kami ni baby. Konting kibot, mairaraos ko na din ang 1yr na breastfeeding.
