Bringing baby to grandparents

[tellycopter]

Should I really bring my baby to her grandparents every month? Just want to hear your opinion at baka maenlighten ako. Kasi gusto nilang dalhin ko yung baby doon to stay for 2 days or more. BTW, parents ito nung daddy nya. Our baby is going 4 months lang and I've been doing this since I gave birth. 7 days palang mula nung nanganak ako dinala na namin sya dun. Hindi nga nila ako dinalaw sa hospital e at hindi man lang sila nagbother to meet my parents. Take note naCS ako ha. Tsaka kasi masyadong picky yung baby namin e ayaw magpakarga basta-basta sa iba. I'm so stressed kasi lately naglalakad ako ng pre-employment requirements. Since Monday hanggang this afternoon nonstop, from morning til evening. Tapos pagpunta namin dun bukas gusto nila very early in the morning e ang gising ni baby mga 10am pa. Tapos pag dinadala ko dun lagi akong inaagawan ng gagawin gusto ng mommy nya sya magpaligo e magkaiba kami ng way she keeps on crying tuloy. Tinataob nya kasi si baby pag naliligo, sobrang natatakot. Tapos they treat her like a non-entity dun nakalagay lang sa bouncer at tinatapat sa TV. Ilang beses ko ng sinabihan boyfriend ko pero IDK for some reason hindi nakakarating sa parents nya yung mga gusto kong mangyari. Sabi nila wag ko daw lagi pinapansin si baby kasi masasanay daw na ganun e ako gusto ko lagi kaming magkadikit. Haaaaay. Sorry for the long rant kaya lang gusto ko marining opinion nyo mga sis.

[khriseeee]

Do they live really far away? What's your apprehension with bringing your baby to see them? When you say that you baby will stay for 2 days or more, is that with you there?

Before we had our daughter we would only see my in laws once a month or so, after having my daughter they want to see her every week. If they are near our area they will also drop by during the week. Same with my mom and dad, I try to take my daughter to see them as often as I can. It brings them so much happiness to see her. We don't stay overnight though, we usually have lunch and spend a few hours together before going home for my daughter's nap.

On  your point of your baby not liking anyone else carrying her, that's natural lang if the baby hasn't been exposed to anyone else. What bothers me is how they disregard you as the baby's mother.

If you didn't have any other issues with them, then I would say yes, the grandparents deserve to see their grandchild too, but it shouldn't be to a point where you are both suffering from it.

Bottomline, you're the mom, you should be able to dictate how you want your baby handled and managed, make that your terms for them to see your baby. If they can't abide, sorry.

[cerelina]

is your baby their first grandchild? if thats the case then they will really require you to visit often. We also visit my inlaws at least once a month but just as sis khriseeee pointed out you should be able to dictate how they handle your child and for how long your visits would be and since you are the mother they should listen to what you think is best for your child. You can tell them nicely how you do things with your child for example when bathing you can tell your MIL how you do it to prevent baby from crying.

[tinsantos10]

Hi sis! Yung baby ko first grandchild ng both sides (my family and my bf's) so gusto talaga nila e laging nakikita si baby. Since same village lang naman house ni bf(where my baby and I lives) and ng parents ko, almost everyday andun siya sa house ng parents ko. No problem naman kasi magkalapit lang naman e.

Ang mahirap lang diyan e yung kapag nakealam na sila on how you handle your baby. Like my baby, they fed her with mashed potato at 3 months e diba bawal pa yun. So what I did was sinabi ko yung mga ayaw and gusto kong mangyari kapag andun baby ko. Tinuruan ko kung paano paliguan and bihisan tapos sinasabi ko lahat ng details. Pero sinasabi ko syempre in a nice way. Sila naman okay naman sa kanila. Mahirap din naman kasi yung pinapakealaman nila yung decision mo for your own child.

Nagiging stress reliever kasi ng lolos and lolas ang apo nila

[princessrio]

tellycopter, mukhang you are not in good terms with your baby daddy's parents kaya ka nahihirapan. kasi kung in good terms ka sa kanila, you wouldn't mind bringing the baby to them. ang dami mo kasing reasons on why not to bring the baby to them.

[babyboo.0326]

i think lang ha, you are still young for their eyes and also, you are not married to your BF, right? kasi BF pa ang tawag mo sa kanya but correct me if i'm wrong. yung mga nakatatanda talaga, if you are still in your early 20s, will still see you as not that mature enough kaya they tend to decide for themselves na they think will be good for the baby. mahirap yan kasi it seems you are not in good terms with them. ganito nalang, they're not your in-laws naman, so you are not "required" to bring your baby to them. if you set your rules, they might see you as maldita naman. isipin nila you're too young or what. kausapin mo BF mo, and try to tell him what you feel and what they make you feel.

[aquacharly]

You are the mom, put your foot down. But be open to suggestions -- they already know what works. Pero, baka outdated na what they know, so it is your judgment call.

Better you go visit them, instead of them visiting you for 2 days.
Imagine if lahat sa house mo pinakikialaman!  Or worse, extend their stay or come over more than 1x a month.  Que horror.

Baka takot sa masasabi ng parents mo about your situation, that you 2 are not married? Kaya they did not visit you at the hospital, nor make moves to get to know your parents?
 Lalo na if your parents are well-off, compared to their simple means.  They will wait for your parents to initiate friendly moves.
Or, sila wel-off at sila matapobre? Bad news, red flag.

But they will  surely meet at the binyag.  Hope everybody behaves good & friendly. 

I didn't bring my babies out of the house except for the pedia, for 2 months.
My parents in law visited almost everyday -- we live in East Greenhills, sila sa West GH, my parents sa North. So, no overnight issue. It was our old yaya (who lives with my mom) who came early to check if my midwife yaya was doing it all right. I also got my bathing-baby, burping baby, anti-kabag etc lessons from old yaya.  I think my parents in law came often kasi they really like my company & my home (na re relax sila; we laugh a lot together at a lotta things).    Pag dating kasi ni hubby, they will leave agad. Hahaha.

[tellycopter]

Thanks mga sis. Naipon na kasi yung feelings ko kasi walang nakararating sa parents ni BF e. Di kami married at ayaw ko pa kasi feeling ko mahihirapan ako. From the very start kasi ayaw sakin ng parents nya. They really like his ex GF. I remember going to their house for the first time ang sabi ba naman kay BF ayaw daw nila sakin kasi malakas daw dating ko. I don't know what that means. 5th apo na nila si baby pero sa side ko first apo. Siguro nga they see me as very young kasi early 20s lang ako and si BF going 30 na. I live in the Diliman area tapos his parents live in Pasig. Kasama pala ako lagi pag dinadala si baby dun. I'm willing to bring our baby dun naman kaya lang di ako makapagset ng rules kasi baka lalo nila akong ayawan. Kaya what I do is I tell my BF pero di nya pinaparating or ayaw lang nila siguro sundin. Hay sana umokey na lahat. Sabi ko naman kay BF welcome silang dumalaw samin anytime e.

[sistah!]

do you celebrate your baby's monthly birthday? because your bf's parents might feel awkward just visiting your house randomly if they did not event visit you at the hospital when you gave birth. IMO, qc to pasig is not far at all to travel.

when my baby was born, my in laws visited us on a monthly basis during my daughter's monthly birthday. naghahanda ako kahit konting pancit lang. they would bring some dessert usually. like other sisses, I did not bring my kid out too much, especially in the early months, but at least monthly, nakikita nila ang baby ko. after the first year, hindi na kami dinadalaw ng in laws ko. and dahil medyo busy at hindi ok ang schedule ng husband ko, bihira din kami dumalaw sa kanila. I am trying to fix that now kasi sobrang sensitive na ng daughter ko. she acts like she does not know them and will not allow them to come near her or touch her. this is bothering me because I don't want them to think na ako pa nagturo sa kanya na maging ganun. I already know they think I have an attitude (I do naman talaga) so having that obviously doesn't help. I suggest that at this point, just suck it up. bring your baby pag nakaligo na sya so they don't have to bathe her. visit more often and only stay for 1 night para masanay sa kanila. a grandchild changes a lot of things so even if they don't like you, this could be the way to bridge the gap.

[tellycopter]

Daming advice. Salamat talaga. Naenlighten din ako. Ok lang naman na pumunta kami monthly masakit lang din kasi sa heart yung ayaw nila sakin at di ako nakakaramdam na concerned din sila sakin. Everytime na pumupunta ako they make me feel like i'm unfit to be a mother dahil lang sa iba kami ng ways ng pagaalaga kay baby. Iba kasi turo ng mommy ko yun tuloy inaapply ko. Sana umayos to in the future. Alam ko isang factor din kasi yung ayaw ko tumira sa kanila kaya siguro they don 't like me. I'm just sooo tired lately tapos pinipilit ako pumunta doon kaya bigla akong nagrant. I just wish that one day mahalin din nila ako. kasi my mom is very nice naman kay bf e.

[princessrio]

yun na nga tellycopter... maybe, if you visit them more often, baka sakaling magbago ang pananaw nila sa yo. baka kaya feeling mo pinipilit ka, it's because ayaw mo naman talaga pumunta. kapag andun kayo, give them the chance to take care of the baby. kasi kung andun kayo, tapos ikaw mag-aalaga, eh bakit pa kayo pumunta don? baka magka-iba nga kayo ng pag-aalaga but it's not everyday na aalagaan naman nila si baby.

siguro may rason sila kung bakit hindi sila pumupunta sa inyo. baka kasi dahil hindi nga kayo kasal or something. maybe you can do something para magustuhan ka nila. maybe you can ask BF what you can do for them to like you. pasalubong perhaps? 

[aquacharly]

Sa dami ng nakita kong in-law or hilaw relationships --  I would say:  do not bother to go out of your way para mahalin ka ng parents ng bf mo.  It is enough he loves you.
Basta you are not a bad person, you give them due respect & you do your responsibilities as a wife & mom --  bahala na si Batman que mahalin ka nila or not.

IMO, if sa kagustuhan  mong mahalin ka nila eh kung ano ano ginagawa mo na hindi naman natural sa yo --  ma frustrate ka lang.
Que mahal ka nila or not eh what can they do --  ikaw mahal ng anak nila.
So just focus on being a good partner & mom. 
If they don't get around to loving  you -- they will at least admit you are a good mom & partner. 

Sa lahat ng relationships, even between amo & maid, there should be boundaries para walang inaabuso, walang binabastos. Sometimes kasi pag inapakan  ka,  at hindi ka nagpa kita ng fangs --  lalo kang sasagasaan. 

"Malakas ang dating" IMO means hindi ka shy, at hindi ka muna naki ramdam -- basta you behaved your usual confident self.
Na threaten ata mga oldies sa confidence mo.  Habaan mo na lang pasensya mo, kelangan yan pag medj narrow-minded katapat mo.