Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 4)

[Uridessey]

@Uridessey - So, after reading that long post, my answer to your problem is simple. Forget about him and move on.

Some factors?
- Age difference
- Guy has a kid and would be a problem if the kid doesn't like you
- He wants to settle down with the right person since he's 34 already
- You're still young and should have about 3-5 years before thinking of getting married
- Parents approve of this?
- You said you guys were together even though he's married, what are the chances that he will flirt with another girl when you guys become a real couple?

Here's my questions to you. Do you see him as your future husband? Do you want to be in a relationship or marry a guy who would pick fights with you, especially about trust? Would you like a guy who does not value the efforts that you show him? Do you want to be "under" him and not be treated equally? Don't you want to be happy?

Also, based on what you wrote, you seem to be an attractive girl since 2 of your officemates like you. My suggestion is to shut the door on the married guy and start entertaining other guys. Go on dates, focus on your work, or go to the gym to help you move on. Not being with this one guy should not be the end of the world for a young girl like you.

I know it's easy for me to say this because I am not in your shoes. But that's the point, you need to listen to what other people have to say because you are blinded with your "love" towards that guy.

I really liked what you said here. You are right na those are the reasons why I should give up on him, and every waking day, I always think of those reasons. It's really hard when you love someone that much. And to answer your question, my parents don't know about us kasi I doubt na they will accept us. Malaman lang na 34 na sya and may anak pa. Regarding dun sa still married, di na sila magkasama, as in hiwalay na, nagfifile for annulment. He said that I did not work out for them when his wife worked abroad, and even had other man there.

[jtansanco]

^ I see, so the wife worked abroad and he found out she's with another guy. So, it's like you're the rebound, temporary crying shoulder, and unsure lover all at the same time. C'mon, you're better than that. Enjoy your life. IF you're really meant to be for each other, than he should wait or chase you until you're ready to be in a relationship with him or to settle down. Remember, the ball is on your hands. You're the lady. Act like a goddess that every guy would drool over and not the other way around.. Haha but I hate it when a girl like does that though. Haha

bakit ang hilig nyo sa "parang kayo pero hindi" setup? 

Actually, I have a friend who's experiencing something like that and I'm friends with both the guy and girl. Guy doesn't mind but girl kept on ranting because she doesn't know if he's unsure of her or bla bla bla.

Based on that couple, I could say guy is still unsure about committing because he's carrier-driven and there might be one flaw that he doesn't like in the girl (and that sucks if that's the deal breaker).

[Uridessey]

@jtansanco

4 years na silang di nag uusap ng wife nya. He had a few relationships after her, so hindi ako yung naging gf nya right after masira yung marriage nila. And yeah, one of my weaknesses is adjusting for the guy. Ilang beses na kong nasaktan because of doing that haha. Di na nasanay haha..

[louise1]

^i'm not a guy pero here's my two cents: a guy only settles for "parang kayo pero hindi kayo" setup for two reasons -- he's unsure of considering that particular girl a potential partner, and the girl settles to be unlabeled.

yeah. thanks though.. Im the girl actually. I never want to label it and even ask him kasi "takot akong mawala sya as a friend." though im coping with it now since he went to US for a year now. But since he's coming back this Feb, di ko alam kung paano ang treatment ko sa kanya.

[Pink_Sugar]

^lol. My bf don't.

[sugardrop]

^^
He does. And usually malalaman mo naman kasi nag-iiba yung pacing and sound nya and mas bongga yung gigil factor.

[ladysapphire]

everything's going well between the two of you. as in way well, yung tipong alam mong onti na lang maiinlove na. then all of a sudden the guy pulls away, medyo naging unpredictable siya. though he still communicates everyday but hindi siya ganun kasweet. why?

[onilord]

^
Pareho ba kayong sweet sa isa't isa or sya lang then ikaw naman nagpapakipot? You should appreciate the fact that na palagi ka pa rin nya minemessage/tinatawagan. Baka naman binabago lang nya yung approach nya towards you kasi iniisip nya baka nauumay ka na sa pagiging sweet nya? Or baka kasi feeling nya hindi mo yun na-aappreciate? Pwede ring baka nawawalan na sya ng gana or pagasa sa'yo? Or baka naman nago-overthink ka lang masyado? Teka, nanliligaw ba sya sayo or baka naman he just treats you as a close friend/ka-flirt (tingin ko naman hindi kasi sabi mo onti na lang maiinlove na, just don't want to assume)?

[ladysapphire]

^
Pareho ba kayong sweet sa isa't isa or sya lang then ikaw naman nagpapakipot? You should appreciate the fact that na palagi ka pa rin nya minemessage/tinatawagan. Baka naman binabago lang nya yung approach nya towards you kasi iniisip nya baka nauumay ka na sa pagiging sweet nya? Or baka kasi feeling nya hindi mo yun na-aappreciate? Pwede ring baka nawawalan na sya ng gana or pagasa sa'yo? Or baka naman nago-overthink ka lang masyado? Teka, nanliligaw ba sya sayo or baka naman he just treats you as a close friend/ka-flirt (tingin ko naman hindi kasi sabi mo onti na lang maiinlove na, just don't want to assume)?

yes we both are sweet to each other. and very honest about what we want to say. we don't have any labels. we're just taking it as it is. but i don't know what happened next. all i know is that he's busy with work. malabo. hehe maybe you're right overthinking lang ako. but still diba i mean weve been honest since day 1. ngayon pa ba kekeme na may pag-pull away pa.

[onilord]

ayun! honest naman pala kayo sa isa't isa.. I guess only he can answer/clear your doubts.. i suggest you go and talk to him ^^,

[ladysapphire]

ayun! honest naman pala kayo sa isa't isa.. I guess only he can answer/clear your doubts.. i suggest you go and talk to him ^^,

that's the thing, i don't know where to start without looking na im assuming or something. baka i might come off strong. i suddenly feel i dont have any right to ask since he's pulling away. should i read between the lines na lang ba. or if i do ask, what's the right approach? or should i give it some time? baka kasi he just needs some down time or busy lang. and im just assuming things.

[louise1]

^ i know someone who's like this. I learned not to expect and assume on anything that we have right now. Try to make iwas muna if he's pulling away naman para malaman nya ang worth mo.

[Uridessey]

^this is right. Ganyan din ginawa ko dati, just to see if hahabulin nya ko or kakausapin nya ko. Expect less na lang dapat.

[Giri]

when you make love to your girl, do you tell them pag malapit na kayo labasan para alam niya?

I tell it, baka mamaya maiwan pala siya sa biyahe.

[Prinsesa Mumela]

Ano yung pinakagusto nyong baguhin saming mga babae?

[jtansanco]

^ Stop playing hard to get if you like theguy and be direct in rejecting your suitor if you don't like the guy. 

[VainDoll]

^ Stop playing hard to get if you like theguy and be direct in rejecting your suitor if you don't like the guy. 

Para sa akin kasi I always (baka sabihin nyo nagpaasa ako) at least give a chance to prove himself first. (Sorry, I didn't mean here for guys to do MEGA effort, to boost my ego nor to make me feel ang ganda ganda ko..)

If I like the guy, syempre hindi naman agad agad na "O sige tayo na..". We girls, have our values, options, as well as priorities din naman. Paano kung she's weighing pa if he's really worth it. Porket pa like agad ang guy, bibigay na? You have prove yourself first. (Again, prove himself, hindi yun manlibre lagi or mag-effort for months and then nothing/ rejected.)

But hey that's just me.  

[jtansanco]

^ Fair enough but some girls just like to take advantage of the scenario. Knowing that there's a guy chasing you, you enjoy the chase and start giving false hope. Some girls say they don't want to lose the "friendship" but thing is, some guys can't be friends with you because we want to be in a relationship with you in the first place. And also, this is just me. Haha

[sacred cow]

If I like the guy, syempre hindi naman agad agad na "O sige tayo na..". We girls, have our values, options, as well as priorities din naman. Paano kung she's weighing pa if he's really worth it. Porket pa like agad ang guy, bibigay na? You have prove yourself first.

But hey that's just me.  

so, I would believe ok din lang sa'yo if the guy dates a girl for a few months din muna tapos kapag narealize niyang she's not worth it pala (gawing gf), pwede niya ring i-reject kahit si girl umasa na or inlove na? kasi we guys have our values, options and priorities din naman, siyempre baka may mas OK pang catch...collect and collect then select sinasabi mo right?

[sacred cow]

Ano yung pinakagusto nyong baguhin saming mga babae?

yung pagiging malabo, not saying what you really mean...kailangang lagi pang i-decipher