Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 4)

[jtansanco]

^ Can't really answer that question since I haven't had a girlfriend before. I have lived in a fairy tale story before where my first will be my last. But since i'm at the right age, looks like the first will be my last nga. Haha. Anyway, yeah, I'd do that. While still getting to know the girl, I always ask them what age they want to get married and how many kids do they want. Doon palang, I'd know if we're on the same page. At the end of the day, what's the purpose of having a girlfriend/boyfriend? - It's to be their husband/wife. Again, that's just my opinion. Guys tell me before na maghanap daw ako ng girlfriend for playtime or para ma-experience ko man lang but that's just not me. Each guy has their own point of view. What I suggest is to look for a guy who has a stable job or is financially stable. Because the next step for that type of guy is to either travel the world and be happy on his own or to find a girl to start his own family.

[zarazan]

@jtansanco  wow, how often do you hear a guy say they want their first girl to be their last. Breath of fresh air. You sound like a keeper.

Anyway, question for the guys. This may be shallow pero curious lang. Whenever you guys are crushing on a girl. Crush lang ah, not "love love" material. And you happen to see the girl one day sobrang looking haggard. Do you guys get turned off? Or once "nagandahan" na, thats all you see. What if biglang nagpa-short hair tas it not super bagay. Nawawala ba yung crush? 

[sacred cow]

Anyway, question for the guys. This may be shallow pero curious lang. Whenever you guys are crushing on a girl. Crush lang ah, not "love love" material. And you happen to see the girl one day sobrang looking haggard. Do you guys get turned off? Or once "nagandahan" na, thats all you see. What if biglang nagpa-short hair tas it not super bagay. Nawawala ba yung crush? 

I don't get turned off naman just because she looks haggard one day, every one has his/her off days, doesn't take away anything from the person. Perfect is boring anyway.

Regarding the nagpa-short hair tapos 'di masyadong bagay, siguro depende kung gaano ko ka-crush yung girl, like may officemate ako na type na type ko nung una...I like long straight hair on petite girls kasi tapos biglang nagpagupit and hindi gaano bagay, medyo nabawasan yung pagka-crush ko

[young_maiden]

Si guy madaming friends na girls pero straight siya. Platonic friends lang niya ang mga yun. Ano po kaya mga signs na interested na siya romantically sa isa sa mga friends niyang girls? Thanks.

[jtansanco]

^ That's easy. Who is the girl na lagi niya tinitignan? The girl who he talks to or talks about? The girl na pinapansin niya lagi? Some guys will try to impress the girl they like even without purposely doing it. It will be so obvious if a guy likes a girl. =)

@jtansanco  wow, how often do you hear a guy say they want their first girl to be their last. Breath of fresh air. You sound like a keeper.

Anyway, question for the guys. This may be shallow pero curious lang. Whenever you guys are crushing on a girl. Crush lang ah, not "love love" material. And you happen to see the girl one day sobrang looking haggard. Do you guys get turned off? Or once "nagandahan" na, thats all you see. What if biglang nagpa-short hair tas it not super bagay. Nawawala ba yung crush?

You're right.. Sounds lang. No girl will ever know if I am one or not. Haha

For me, I want to differentiate. Girls will always be at their "hottest" appearance so I'm really interested to see how you look like at your worst. For the hair, I think the answer is yes. I was crushing on a girl kasi bagay sa kanya yung curls. But then, she made it straight so parang di ako nasanay sa look and di ko na naging type.

[sacred cow]

Si guy madaming friends na girls pero straight siya. Platonic friends lang niya ang mga yun. Ano po kaya mga signs na interested na siya romantically sa isa sa mga friends niyang girls? Thanks.

Simple, the one he asks out on a date na one on one

[sacred cow]

^ Can't really answer that question since I haven't had a girlfriend before. I have lived in a fairy tale story before where my first will be my last. But since i'm at the right age, looks like the first will be my last nga. Haha. Anyway, yeah, I'd do that.

Bro as a fellow girltalker, just because you think that you're on the right age to get married doesn't mean that you'd have to marry the first girl that decided to be your gf. Baby steps lang muna pre, work on yourself first, then get a girlfriend..wag mo muna isipin that she should be your future wife na kasi maprepressure ka lang, magiging sobrang choosy ka at prone to mess up

While still getting to know the girl, I always ask them what age they want to get married and how many kids do they want. Doon palang, I'd know if we're on the same page.

Now isn't this kinda creepy, hindi mo pa nga gf tapos tinatanong mo na kung anong age nila gusto magpakasal at ilang anak gusto nila. I'd like to ask, ilan dun sa mga girls na para sa'yo same page kayo based on their answers ang naka-date mo pa ulit? (assumming that "getting to know" means you went out with her)

At the end of the day, what's the purpose of having a girlfriend/boyfriend? - It's to be their husband/wife. Again, that's just my opinion. Guys tell me before na maghanap daw ako ng girlfriend for playtime or para ma-experience ko man lang but that's just not me. Each guy has their own point of view.

The purpose of having a girlfriend/boyfriend is to know what you want in a life partner, if that person satisfies your "non-negotiables" on what you want in someone then you marry him/her. Pero siyempre hindi mo nga makikilala ng mabuti ang isang tao, until you have been in a relationship with him/her for a significant amount of time. You friends mean well when they said that you need to gain experience from dating first. Kasi worst case ang mangyayari niyan is you'd end up with a girl who has rode the c0ck carousel (had lots of boyfriends/fubus), decided that she wants a decent/naive guy to settle with na kasi she's getting old na and her looks are already starting to fade or marry your first gf tapos you'll realize na hindi pala kayo compatible tapos maghihiwalay lang kayo.

Just like in buying anything, hindi lang dapat isa ang vendor...do some sampling muna or i-test drive muna kung sa kotse, mahirap yung mag-aasawa ka tapos malalaman mong hindi pala kayo compatible sexually then someone would cheat kasi hindi satisfied. Well that's my opinion, sabi mo nga iba iba tayo ng point of view

[jtansanco]

^ I ask when she wants to get married and how many kids she wants because I want to know her plans for the future. I didn't say that I will ask her that question on the first date. Once we have known each other more, then that's the time I will ask her on her plans for the future. I like to be direct to the point. I have learned not to waste my money and time. What is her dream career? Does she want a family in the future? What's her timeline to achieve those things? Questions like that. How many girls are on the same page? Close to none. Why? Probably because I meet the wrong types of girls because most of them like to live the yolo lifestyle and probably there's a difference in status.

Yeah, I know. If ever I get a girlfriend, I'll definitely want to live-in with her first to have an idea how we are together. I'm not really that big into the whole marriage thing. As long as I feel that "I'm the right person for the right person for me", then we can talk marriage after. I guess the way of thinking depends on the culture you're accustomed to. And yes, I admit that I am really choosy which is why I have been single for the longest time but that's a decision I have made because I refuse to settle for anyone less than what I think, I deserve.

[sacred cow]

^ now that sounds better I'm all for not settling for anything less but you also need to consider that once you meet the girl who passes your standards, she probably also won't settle for less, just make sure you also have something to bring to the table (wealth doesn't count, since a woman of such value could get that anywhere)

what if one of her "non-negotiables" would include a man who already knows how to handle a relationship (she doesn't want someone who doesn't have actual experience on how relationships work) then just from that you would already be at a disadvantage.

anyway, I'm offering a toast to all guytalkers..may we all get the girl that we believe we deserve and not settle for anything less

[young_maiden]

salamat sacred cow and jtsanco


anyway, bagong question, pag ang guy ba nagjoke sa isang girl na nagseselos na siya kasi madaming friends si girl na lalaki, half-meant ba o pwedeng joke lang talaga?

[jtansanco]

^ Jokes are half-meant. He is probably saying it to you in an indirect way to avoid a potential altercation.

^^ Then I'll consider that kind of girl immature. Haha. It's like she is trying to get to know a guy based on experience while I try to get to know a girl through her background and goals - contradicting styles. =P As for bringing something to the table, wealth is one thing (financial security - a guy's confidence do change dramatically once this is achieved) but the other half is more of the personality, mannerism, values, and how you were brought up. Live-in na muna para walang problema. =)

 

[tamera_lorraine]

tanong lang..

sabi ng isang guy friend ko "mahirap daw talaga sabihin sa taong minahal mo dati na wala ka ng nararamdaman.

in short why mahirap makipagbreak sa isang girl?  eh if di ka naman na happy why mo pa patatagalin di ba?

why nga ba?

[jtansanco]

^ Sometimes, we care about the girl's feelings. Girls are more sensitive than guys (normally) so we can't really try and breakup with you and tell you we don't love you anymore if we see that you "love" us.

[sacred cow]

tanong lang..

sabi ng isang guy friend ko "mahirap daw talaga sabihin sa taong minahal mo dati na wala ka ng nararamdaman.

in short why mahirap makipagbreak sa isang girl?  eh if di ka naman na happy why mo pa patatagalin di ba?

why nga ba?

maybe kasi may napapala pa siya like sex and wala pa siyang nahahanap na papalit to fulfill that need

[ohcmon]

I've been seeing this guy for like a month na. We were super okay, nakilala niya na rin parents ko, etc. As in parang papunta na kami sa relationship.

The weekend before the last, though, nag inom kaming dalawa. Ang ending, may nangyari. He started acting weird last week, text pa rin naman pero parang distant na siya and he doesn't give me as much time as he did before the deed.

Friday night, hindi ako nakatiis, I confronted him if his being distant has something to do with us sleeping together so soon. Oo daw, malaking impact, kasi siya daw he usually waits a year or so before may something, kaya sobrang bothered daw siya dahil ang bilis ng nangyari sa'min. He says he's scared dahil masyado daw mabilis.

Saturday, 'di siya nagtext, pero nakainom ako Saturday night so I kind of drunk texted him. Ang haba ng sinabi ko, like bakit parang kasalanan ko pa na may nangyari samin when we both wanted it etc. Sabi ko pa parang naoffend ako sa sinabi niya the other night dahil kulang na lang diretsahin niya ko na ang l_ndi ko. Sa dami ng sinabi ko, ang reply niya lang "Hindi ko sinabing mal_ndi ka". Di na rin nagtext kahapon.

Now that I think about it, he did say something about his being conservative. Like he'll see me after office wearing a skirt and he would jokingly say di daw niya gusto kita legs ng kasama niya, tapos we never held hands nor kissed until that night na may nangyari sa'min.

I should probably back off na, noh?

[jtansanco]

^ After reading your post, only one thing came to my mind. How old is he? In my opinion, he's acting immature. I wouldn't say to back off yet but his level of maturity is below yours based on how you described it. It's up to you but I suggest not to be the one to "chase" him. If he doesn't text you, then let him be. You're still open to mingle with other people. And yeah, 1 month is kind of too fast from dating, meeting the family, then doing the deed. Give him time to think about things and I have a feeling he'll "make paramdam" to you.

[sacred cow]

I've been seeing this guy for like a month na. We were super okay, nakilala niya na rin parents ko, etc. As in parang papunta na kami sa relationship.

The weekend before the last, though, nag inom kaming dalawa. Ang ending, may nangyari. He started acting weird last week, text pa rin naman pero parang distant na siya and he doesn't give me as much time as he did before the deed.

Friday night, hindi ako nakatiis, I confronted him if his being distant has something to do with us sleeping together so soon. Oo daw, malaking impact, kasi siya daw he usually waits a year or so before may something, kaya sobrang bothered daw siya dahil ang bilis ng nangyari sa'min. He says he's scared dahil masyado daw mabilis.

Saturday, 'di siya nagtext, pero nakainom ako Saturday night so I kind of drunk texted him. Ang haba ng sinabi ko, like bakit parang kasalanan ko pa na may nangyari samin when we both wanted it etc. Sabi ko pa parang naoffend ako sa sinabi niya the other night dahil kulang na lang diretsahin niya ko na ang l_ndi ko. Sa dami ng sinabi ko, ang reply niya lang "Hindi ko sinabing mal_ndi ka". Di na rin nagtext kahapon.

Now that I think about it, he did say something about his being conservative. Like he'll see me after office wearing a skirt and he would jokingly say di daw niya gusto kita legs ng kasama niya, tapos we never held hands nor kissed until that night na may nangyari sa'min.

I should probably back off na, noh?

yup back off na, unfortunately may mga guys lang talagang nawawalan ng interest sa girl after having sex. I'm not saying mali yung ginawa niyo nor am I saying mali ka kasi bumigay ka kaagad, kasi hindi naman talaga. I guess ok na rin na 1 month pa lang ang lumilipas, at least hindi pa ganun katagal yung time na invest mo, the fact that he became like that just because of what happened, just shows kung anong klaseng guy sya, for me you dodged a bullet

[louise1]

eh papaano if di naman sila nagsex nung guy after the first meeting and the second and the third hanggang hj and finger lang? ano ibig sabihin nun? i hope he wont read this. hahaha

[iwannabeasupermodel]

I was chatting with my friend about dating and all that, see all this time i  am under the assumption that as long as you're a doctor, your market value is way way up there. She told me that is true, but only for men. But if you're a female doctor, the men tends to get intimidated so we're not so marketable daw. So we only have a chance daw with felllw doctors or attourneys  or phd holders. Ugh, is that true? If you've only finished a four/five year course, will you guys be intimidated to get serious or to date a doctor? chos 

I feel so shallow and stupid asking this, parang first world problem ugh.

[louise1]

I was chatting with my friend about dating and all that, see all this time i  am under the assumption that as long as you're a doctor, your market value is way way up there. She told me that is true, but only for men. But if you're a female doctor, the men tends to get intimidated so we're not so marketable daw. So we only have a chance daw with felllw doctors or attourneys  or phd holders. Ugh, is that true? If you've only finished a four/five year course, will you guys be intimidated to get serious or to date a doctor? chos 

I feel so shallow and stupid asking this, parang first world problem ugh.

no, i dont think so.

i have a friend who's a nurse and has a doctor gf. their work status quo wasn't an issue at all.