Paano ba maging isang taong mahirap pakawalan?

[~yufa~]

What's the easiest way to know your worth to a person? Feel ko kasi NAPAKADALI kong palitan and it really hurts to think na parang walang single part ng katawan ng mga taong importante/naging importante sa akin ang nakamiss man lang. =(

Year 2004
1. Me first and last bf - Pinagpalit ako sa bestfriend. Walang 2 isip. And by the way a few months later, he picked me up at school one time, not because he misses me, but just to say that he is leaving for US the next week. He said gusto niyang umalis ng maayos kami.

Year 2007
2. The one that got away guy - MU lang pero parang 1 week lang kami di nag-usap, may girlfriend na agad.

Year 2011
3. Guy who reminds we so much of my ex - MU lang din and he told me na he's moving to the US na the following week (yes like my ex nga eh) . For me kasi, there's always a way to communicate like the internet. Nawala na lang bigla tapos ayun may girlfriend na agad dun.

With my walls up, never really dove into a relationship after my first one. Kaya puro MU na lang yung sa next 2 guys.These heartbreaks made me build higher walls around me so I avoided guys. Ayun, I never thought I'd like a "girl boy"

Year 2013
4. Unexpected one - Ewan ko kung anong meron kami. We just talked about all random stuff and made me smile with her witty jokes and hirits for a few months. Nung nasanay na ako na nandyan siya palagi bigla niya akong sinabihan na aalis na siya (lilipat ng work) in one week. But when she left, parang wala na lang ako.


Well aside from the noticeably "one week curse" that I have, the last one made me think na talaga kung gaano ako kawalang kwenta. Never akong naka-feel na nasad sila because they are leaving me. Palagi na lang ako ang nalulungkot at umiiyak. Paano ba malalaman what's wrong with me?

[pret_ty68]

Stop torturing yourself by thinking that there is something wrong with you. Sometimes we meet people not meant for us in order for us to appreciate the right love when it comes.  It also serves as a lesson in order for us to know how to deal with the right one when he/she comes along. There is no really guaranteed formula para maging I sang tanong mahirap pakawalan. It is more on meeting the right person for you. The person who will appreciate the whole you. What you can do is to improve yourself and be the best you, in that way there is a bigger chance that someone will appreciate you. You must have something that they will miss na hindi nila makikita sa iba.                                                                                 Love yourself for how can you expect others to love you if you do not love yourself.

[miss_isla]

Always consider yourself BLESSED, at least you didn't invest a lot of emotions into these relationship before they ended.

[chielobabes]

Just always be yourself. Ganyan ako kaya nga may na obsessed pa sa akin.  katakot yun. Dapat maingat ka sa sarili mo. Once nagawan ko ng matinding kasalanan my bf but still napatawad ako at naging kami ulit. 4yrs 7mos na kami ngayon and getting stronger pa yung relationship namin. Share your blessings to him para ganun din sya sayo. Show your love to him always also your care. Ewan ko na lang kung hindi nya yun hanap hanapin.  I'm lucky kasi my bf is so sweet, thoughtful, smart, kind, perfect! hehe.. makakahanap ka din ng perfect guy para sayo sis. right timing. 

[aquacharly]

What's the easiest way to know your worth to a person? Feel ko kasi NAPAKADALI kong palitan and it really hurts to think na parang walang single part ng katawan ng mga taong importante/naging importante sa akin ang nakamiss man lang. =(

Well aside from the noticeably "one week curse" that I have, the last one made me think na talaga kung gaano ako kawalang kwenta. Never akong naka-feel na nasad sila because they are leaving me. Palagi na lang ako ang nalulungkot at umiiyak. Paano ba malalaman what's wrong with me?

Sometimes, "IT ISN'T YOU". 
Maybe the timing isn't right.
Maybe the person read you wrong: that you lack commitment, or aren't serious with him.  Na you will prioritize your and only your Life Plans, there is hardly room for him & his dreams/goals.

TO LESSEN the chances na  iwanan ka;  or iwanan man eh siguradong  hagulgol din sya, or siguradong babalik sya:

1.  DO NOT BE AMBIVALENT, or give the impression you are.
If you want a relationship to develop or last: be clear in showing such to the other person. 
Hwag yung: My Dreams, or The Highway; "kung wala, wala, okay lang."   Work towards, what will OUR Dreams be?
2.  GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT ....  Meaning, give what you will NOT regret, ever, giving/doing.
If it doesn't work out, you won't feel a Loser, na nalugi or naisahan ka... na you are not worth it all. 
3.  DO NOT GIVE IT YOUR "ALL". 
Hold back enough important things for yourself:  Self Love, Self Respect, Self Importance .... 
Coz  when you give All",  you may feel empty & turn Needy.  IMO, the Needy are easily dumped.
4.  DO NOT FORCE others to love you the way you want to be loved.  If you do, you will just get disappointed.
5.  But,  LOVE THEM the way they want to be loved.


As for friends, your last parting of ways --  well, we all live busy lives.
Real friendships continue even in the absence of communication/contact.  Then after even a long time, when communication is resumed -- it's as if there was never a time gap.
So, open your mind to making new friendships -- even with those who are different from you. (Basta do not harm/compromise your character/principles/values)

[Girltalker2]

Sis, with your stories, at least after your first BF, parang ang bilis mahulog ng loob mo.  One week mo lang kilala yung guy, bakit ka na-s-sad agad if they disappear or leave you? 

I would treat it as normal lang ang reaction ng 2nd-4th guy na nameet mo kasi di naman naging kayo.  They did not invest as much emotions as you did, kaya feeling mo ikaw lang malungkot.

I would suggest that you attack your issues differently.  Try to improve your self esteem and love everything about yourself.  Guys will definitely come along.  But I suggest do not fall easily (as you have claimed) and just treat it as a friendship.  There could be good ones, which may end up progressing to the next level, but a lot of them may not be so good ones.  When the not so good ones come along, treat mo lang na friends.  Do not fall. Do not invest.  Face value lang and enjoy the company.  I used this approach when I started dating, after I separated from my husband, which by the way my one and only BF at wala din akong ibang guys nakilala.  Yes, may wall, pero do not forget to enjoy yourself and meet other people. Mingle lang ng mingle, until you will find someone who is willing to love you as you are.  When that person comes along, DO NOT fall immediately again.  Kilatisin mabuti if he will be worthy of your love.  Tsaka ka magfall.

I am not sure how easy it is to control your emotions when you are young.  Since I am not so young na, I was able to do it and I am happy with the results.

[amethyst028]

@TS maybe that walls you built to protect you from getting hurt are the same walls that's causing those people to leave.

sometimes you let your defenses down so others can see and appreciate the real you. maybe in their mind kahit mawala sila wala lang sayo kaya ganun na lang kadali para sa kanila umalis. try to be vulnerable, show your true feelings. huwag ka parati matigas or magpakita na takot ka masaktan. hanggang hindi mo sinusubukan hindi mo malalaman kung hanggang saan ka. take risks, love with all your heart. kung masaktan at madapa ka bangon ulit. do it all over again. keep trying. be brave. take chances. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[~yufa~]

Sis, with your stories, at least after your first BF, parang ang bilis mahulog ng loob mo.  One week mo lang kilala yung guy, bakit ka na-s-sad agad if they disappear or leave you? 

Hi Sis. Yes mabilis but not in the sense na 1 week. I think naguluhan ka sa post ko. The one week that I mentioned is yung time before they leave. As you can, nilagay ko yung year kung kailan nangyari yun and may isa mga 4 years pa.

@TS maybe that walls you built to protect you from getting hurt are the same walls that's causing those people to leave.

This made me think "Baka nga". My walls are really high and thick now. And natatakot ako na baka wala ng maka-break nun. I try to break it down myself from the inside. I just don't know how to start.

[Jingaling]

don't look down on yourself.

meron ako nabasa kay bro. bo. its a good piece of encouragement. sabi nya.. dapat masaya ka kahit na single ka para kapag dumating na yung right person for you, magiging masaya kayo. kasi kung ngayon pa lang malungkot ka.. kahit sino ang dumating sa iyo.. malulungkot at malulungkot ka lang din kasi u won't find contentment. parang ganon..

so for now.. feel good about urself.. you have what it takes to be for keeps.. wrong person lang mga nameet mo. 

[Girltalker2]

Hi Sis. Yes mabilis but not in the sense na 1 week. I think naguluhan ka sa post ko. The one week that I mentioned is yung time before they leave. As you can, nilagay ko yung year kung kailan nangyari yun and may isa mga 4 years pa.

This made me think "Baka nga". My walls are really high and thick now. And natatakot ako na baka wala ng maka-break nun. I try to break it down myself from the inside. I just don't know how to start.

Ooh sorry if I have misunderstood your post.

But in essence, it is not you. It is them. 
Baka kelangan mo maging mas mapili/discerning in terms of who you should choose to spend time with to love. Dapat worthy sya ng oras mo nang di ka lang iwan sa ere.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the walls you mentioned. It is but natural, in fact, I believed about loving oneself, at kasama na dyan is protecting our hearts (avoiding being hurt).  So, hindi ka dapat love lang ng love kahit sino ang ma encounter mo. Naniniwala parin ako na kelangan mo kilatisin ang personality talaga ng guy, especially these days na kakaunti nalang talaga sa kanila ang matitino.