Paano pag si Girl/GF gumagastos palagi kay Boy/Bf?

[Reynamargallo]

I remember my 1st ex bf. His then fiancee (di kasi sila nagkatuluyan) eh inutangan niya para makabili ng engagement ring   Yung 1st ex bf ko eh humiram ng 10K pero siningil ko agad bago kami mag break.  Tapos yung 2nd ex bf ko, bilmoko. Laging walang pera. Ultimo pang mcdo niya e ako ang sagot. kups diba? Sinubukan pa umutang ng 8K sa akin. Kesyo naaksidente daw siya, naholdap daw siya....

My present bf, ang golden rule niya sa relationship namin eh siya lahat ang sagot sa date - food and movies.

He is financially more stable than my 2 exes.  

[redhead69]

^ awww. sweet.

Bakit kaya ganon minsan mas user na ang IBANG lalaki ngayon. hahaha! I dont know ha.

[tinaydacanay]

Hay nako. Diyan nagka-leche leche future ko Sobrang naging uto-uto ako sa love. Ayun ginastos ko lahat sa kanya. Oh well, lesson learned Talagang ngayon sinusuffer ko pa rin yung mga katangahan ko sa pagibig. Basta! Mas masarap yung feeling na ginagastusan ka haha

[Filipinasadhart]

Yeah marami talagang user na Lalake.

[Reynamargallo]

Pag magparinig ang karelasyon natin ay pagparinig ng gusto ng ganito o ganyan, sabihan ninyo lang ng "If you can't afford it, don't buy it!" 

[aebrbiyc2009]

Five years na kami ni bf (since 4th yr high school). Mas angat family ko kesa sa kanila, and since kababata ko din sya, I fully know of that fact ever since and alam ko ugali nya. Anyway, ok lang sakin magbayad for food, movies.. stuff na ganun lalo na pag may gsto ako kainan or panoorin pero wala ako makasama (kesa kaibigan ko pa isama ko at yun pa ililibre ko). Alam ko dn na nahihiya na sakin yun pero bumabawi naman sya pag kaya. Lalo na pag special occasions magugulat ka nalang and kung meron naman sya, magbibigay sya eh. Ako lang talaga mapilit magsama, mahilig kasi ako maglibot. Thank God nalang hindi sya humihingi ng pamasahe sakin. Lol. We also have dates na hindi kailangan ng money. It usually consists of watching movie at home and cuddling. Haha! Masaya nako sa ganun actually. Hindi rin sya nangungutang and hindi yun mangungutang sakin. Alam ko na babawi sya and alam ko naman mga efforts nya since 2 yrs na din kaming LDR. Isa pa, LDR kami at hindi ko sya pnapadalhan ng pera so alam ko matino syang guy. P.S Kabitbahay lang namin sya so subukan nya mambabae lagot sya sa lola ko :p

[ilbsiri]

Just wanna share. When my hubby and I where still bf/gf I'm the one who always spends money, I got big allowance kasi, siya as eldest with siblings sobrang tipid siya or I mean sakto or minsan kulang pa bigay sa kanya, everytime na dumadating allowance ko, buhay mayaman kame lol! giving hime stuff na gustong gusto nya pero hindi nya mabili, although tinatanggihan nya pinipilit ko kasi naawa din ako sa kanya, at pag binibigyan ko naman halos ipa frame na nya ayaw gamitin lol! at pag wala naman kameng pera, kuntento na kame mag date mall, window shop tapos kain sa carienderia minsan street food nalang masaya na kame, now we're married. He, who has a great carreer and income is good, he's giving it all back to me, he's not saying na bumabawi siya literally, pero I can feel it with all my heart, he us. My point mga sis is hindi naman masama gumastos sa guy lalo na kung ikaw ang may pera, of course alam mo naman na kung abuso o hindi diba? don't spoil them too much kung meron, meron kung wala, wala.

[sugardrop]

Natutuwa ako when he lets me pay na yung resto and bar bills. Finally. Di kasi ako nakatiis when I told him na minsan pagastusin naman nya ako. I know he has kids to feed and send to school and bills to pay. Tapos pag lalabas kami, libo nagagastos nya. Syempre nahihiya din ako, may work din naman ako. Give and take lang naman ang gusto ko. Sabi ko nga, you have an ego, I have pride, quits lang.

[simang]

^agreee.

As long as may trabaho kayong dalawa and magkasundo kayo sa expenses i dont see anything wrong with splitting the bill or sometimes girls paying the bill.

[sarah29]

^ Exactly.

Pero still, be cautious. Ang dami na ding abusadong lalake ngayon, eh. Kung di sya nageeffort na at least itreat ka minsan, tas palibre ng palibre, tapos tatamad-tamad.. siguro take caution na.

[sugardrop]

^
Th rule of the thumb for me is I don't mind paying for the person I love as long as he's not asking me for money - i.e. to pay for his household bills and pang-gimik. Unless I offer it when I see that it's really, utterly, and desperately needed. I tested my boyfriend nga last year, when his sister died, I offered money and he refused saying it's not my obligation.

Basta when it comes to our gimiks and such, I prefer paying for something, but the moment I get sssshhh'ed by him, I let him. Let the man be the man.

Hindi dahil girl ako eh kailangan lagi ako libre.

[redhead69]

back, It took me so long para bumalik sa topic na 'to. I totally broke up with my ex lasy year december. And made me realize na its really not working anymore. Nagka trust issues na kasi. Anyway, this also made me realize na sa isang relationship di dapat puro love lang. Andyan na rin yung kelangan tanggapin mo flaws niya etc.

Anyway regarding sa kung sino gumagastos. Parang natrauma na ko ngayon pumasok ulit sa relationship. I mean for now sarili ko pinagkakagastusan ko and family ko. May mga guys na gusto makipagdate sa akin pero di pa ko handa. Dahil sa topic na to this made me realize na dapat ang guys dapat ay may "balls" para magpay ng bills or dates pero not luho and stuff not unless kung kusa or gift idk what to call it. Dapat din may give and take talaga.

[April30]

Way back BF/GF times namin ni hubby, mas madalas na ako gumagastos sa mga dates, pamasahe, and food namin. That time, we were still studnts. Mas maluwag sa pera family ko compared to him. Minsan wala sya pamasahe ppasok sa skul, I offer him na sagot ko oamasahe nya with matching sundo sa kanila, hehe... Lalo na pag may dumarating na relative ko from abroad, syempre bibigyan me ng pera, I treat him for a date. Minsan pag walang panggastos for his school project, I help him out. But come the time na may part-time sya, bumabawi naman...

Present... mag-asawa na kami ngaun with 3 kids! At sya lahat gumagastos sa amin. He is responsible enough to know na obligasyon nya ang magtaguyod ng pamilya.

Wala naman problem, if si girl ang gumagastos for his BF. Depending on the situation kung worth it ba si BF na gastusan.

[winkypops]

kapag nanliligaw pa lang,dapat talaga guy ang gumagastos pero kapag naging kayo na and pareho naman kayo may work, dapat split payment na.

[nixiquita]

samin ng guy ko, balanse. its just that sakin kasi mas medyo okay standing ng family namin. so i can splurge a little more than he can. mahilig pa naman ako gumastos gastos ng kung [textspeak!] ano.

pero samen kase were like married couples or magkapatid na money issues are wala lang. keri lang.

pero when i ask him what he likes or if i'll buy him unnecessary stuff, naaasar siya. but in the end, he'll give in kasi magttampo ako pag di niya maappreciate.

give and take samen, may time din nuon na siya lagi gumagastos cos i had no work then.

[lovemeagain30]

back in my college days, i had an ex-bf na ginastusan ko din like pamasahe, sine or pangkain. binibigyan ko pa yan ng pang xerox ng libro niya. i was in love then.

ngayon may asawa nako at may anak na,working parent rin, i realized mali yung ginawa ko nuon.students should not be paying their dates out of their parent's pockets. kasi pinaghirapan ng magulang ko yung perang binibigay nila sakin nuon tapos ginagastos ko lang pala sa ibang tao. maling-mali di ba? kahit ba nagkatuluyan pa kami kunyari sa huli. mali pa din eto. kasi ang pinagpaguran ng mama at papa ko, ako lang at mga kapatid ko ang dapat nag enjoy.

kaya ngayon may anak nako (at preggy pa!) , i will try my best to teach my children the value of money. di baleng sila ang umubos sa allowance nila kung sa pang sarili lang nila ginamit rather than malalaman ko na ipinang dedate niya lang sa ibang tao. hindi kami nagpapakahirap ni daddy nila para ipang gastos para sa mga bf/gf na dapat magulang ng taong yun ang umaako.

parang pagbibisyo, they should get it from their own hard earned money.

[simang]

^same realization i had when i started working. Nakakahiya naman pala sa nanay ko na pinang date ko lang yung binigay nyang baon sa akin.

[DianeShishio]

Wow! This is weird.    Hindi ko inexpect na marami palang mga babaeng inaabuso pagdating sa pera and repeatedly pa!

[Girltalker2]

^ Oo nga.  Kala ko mga sugar mommy lang. 

Naku mga girls, BF palang, early warning signs na iyan. Huwag mo na pakasalan, please!

Ang stand ko kasi dito, money should not be an issue between you.  Pero kapag hindi mo afford, huwag ka humingi, otherwise mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo!  Iyan ang motto ko.  So kung ang BF eh wala, tapos magpapalibre, shet, ka turn off.  Patay gutom ang dating.  Gusto mo ba magkaron ng patay gutom na asawa, nakakahiya di ba?

There is nothing wrong with the girl buying gifts for the BF.  Pero make sure it is something he can afford to buy himself. Kung walang pera, forget it. It just shows how irresponsible he is to get into a relationship and penniless. 
Kung babae ka naman, do not accept gifts din na overly extravagant at parang binibili ka na nya.  Have some dignity.

Anyway regarding sa kung sino gumagastos. Parang natrauma na ko ngayon pumasok ulit sa relationship. I mean for now sarili ko pinagkakagastusan ko and family ko. May mga guys na gusto makipagdate sa akin pero di pa ko handa. Dahil sa topic na to this made me realize na dapat ang guys dapat ay may "balls" para magpay ng bills or dates pero not luho and stuff not unless kung kusa or gift idk what to call it. Dapat din may give and take talaga.

Sis, iba iba naman ang mga guys.  Just open your mind. Malay mo in meeting them dun mo ma realize marami pang iba na hindi katulad ng ex mo. 

In terms of dating, kapag first date siguro, I offer kkb. Pero succeeding, depende. If he pays, next time around, I will pay.  ganun lang iyon.  Ayoko masabi na kapalmuks ako na kaya ako nakikipagdate lang para sa free na pagkain.

[MaitaOfMakeupOnDemand]

Did some back reading and there everyone is in a different situation. So it's really hard to judge.

But to be fair, when hubby and I were dating, there were times when I paid but we were both working hard. And I paid only when I really wanted to go out and he was a little short. But more than 90% of the time he paid and worked for both of us.

In my opinion, if the guy keeps on letting you pay for things and there is NO EFFORT or LIMITED EFFORT on his part to improve his situation, this is a red flag. I have seen many women who end up marrying men who just stay at home and let the women work and instead of helping around the house, yung wife pa rin is the one who keeps house. And the sad thing is, these women already saw the signs before marriage pero masyado silang inlove. My dear ladies, it's ok to think of yourself in relationships. Wag masyado martir to those who don't deserve your love... there are others out there who will are more equal to you.