husband and mistress/gf just had a baby

[i_v_y]

it has been over year since I left my husband. Kung nasubaybayan nio ang kuwento ko sa kabilang thread, you would know na hindi madali ang pinagdaanan ko tyring to save the marriage.

A little backgrounder: I left my husband because even after numerous times na nahuli ko siya at pinatawad, at sa lahat ng ginawa ko para masave ang marriage namin, hindi pa din niya tinigilan ang babae niya. Then it just happened one morning, I woke up indifferent.


So ano ang problema ko ngayon? Hindi naman actually problema. I just want to know kung normal lang ba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I feel bad but maybe not bitter after finding out that the mistress just gave birth to thier baby. Eto yung isang worries ko noon when I was deciding to leave him -"paano kung ipagpatuloy nila relasyon nila, paano kung mag live in sial sa bahay namin, paano kung magkababy sila?"

I pretty much handled the first two questions pero the third one, parang I feel bad. Maybe another reason is we tried to have a baby and after 6 years of being together, hindi naging successful.

I am now in a relationship with a foreigner, who treats me so well, loves me, adores me and I could say this is the love and relationship that I want and dreaming for.

Normal lang ba ang nararamdaman ko? I know I don't love him anymore and I feel that breaking up with him - being in an abusive relationship is one helluva accomplishment.

[simang]

Wow sis. Medyo nawindang ako sa story mo. Anyway, i think what you're feeling is normal. Syempre, it couldve been your baby if you're still together.

I guess the best way to deal with it is to let it go completely. Kinaya mo ng iwan sya, nagpakastrong ka na after everything, this event right there is just another part of all the drama. Magiging indifferent ka din. hehe. Good luck sis, hope you find your true happiness with your present partner. lahat ng taong nanakit sa atin di na dapat pinagaaksayahan ng panahon.

[redgirln]

Ouch ang saket naman nyan sis! siguro normal to feel that way kasi "dati" kayong mag asawa. I mean   you've seen your life having a baby with him. Maybe you dont love him na, but nasasaktan parin ang pride bilang babae. IMo lang sis ha?

[i_v_y]

^sis ganun nga siguro. kumbaga nakaka babae.

naalala ko noon, sinabihan ako ng babae nia na "baka hindi mo kasi mabigay ang gusto ng asawa mo kaya naghahanap ng iba. huwag ka na lang magulat kung isang araw may pamilya na syang iba"

I don't really care, sa kanya na yung ex ko. maybe the fact lang din kasi na we tried, we had two miscarriages...

at alam ko yung babae nagsisisi din sia kasi she emailed me asking for forgiveness kasi ni two time din siya.

sis simang, salamat   

[aquacharly]

Although you have moved on & now in a happy place -- 
You once upon a time loved that ex to the moon & back.
Normal lang yan, to feel regret, some sadness.

THE CRITICAL THING IS:  do NOT turn on yourself.
As to blame yourself for the breakdown of that marriage coz you couldn't give him a child.
Do NOT buy into that cr@p.

As for the kab1tch getting her arze bitten, kinaliwa din sya --  lol, she should expect repeats of that.
She actually should start getting scared: a relationship based on sex never lasts. 

[x-y]

I understand where you're coming from sis. It's normal to feel that way. Just let it out.

Pero at least ngayon diba, you're in a relationship nga na as you described is what you're dreaming for.
God is good to you.

[evilwoman]

@ts - di naman guarantee na magiging happy ang pagsasama pag nagkababy na..
Curious lang,sumagot ka pa ba sa email nya?

[louiesmom]

what you are feeling right now sis ivy is reasonably normal.. ako din kaya ganyan.. when i found out that hubby was cheating, parang ang lungkot ko pag may masayang nangyayari sa girl..  But I am thankful na hindi na yun naulit.. My relationship now with hubby is entirely different, in a very positive way..

And ofcourse, somehow you imagined your life with the guy e.. May effect pa din sayo sis kapag may nalaman ka tungkol sa kanya or sa kanila..

Its a process sis.. Malapit ka na sa dulo.. 

[RusselsMom]

I guess normal lang yung nararamdaman mo.. iba talaga siguro ang effect ng ex-husband sa ex-boyfriend lang. As long as masaya ka sa relationship mo ngayon, that's what matters. Mawawala din soon ang feeling na 'yan.

LOL doon sa girl. She got what she deserved. Yun yung mga nakakainis na kabit, yung may gana pang pagsalitaan ng kung ano-ano ang wife.

[i_v_y]

Thank you all for empathizing. I told my bf about it and he said the same thing that it shall pass.

@evilwoman - hindi ko siya sinagot. she didn't deserve even a bad word from me. Ginusto niya yun eh. Minsan may stalker mode pa ako, binabasa ko wall nia, for some reason naka public. Ang bitter niya. at puro post nia about sa kabit. NAgpopost ata  para sa sarili nia.

[imbisibol_]

^

looks like you're handling your feelings in an open and mature way.  to even tell your current boyfriend about it proves that.

and yes- your feelings are normal.  you're human.  if you had tried to repress them or deny them or hide them would've been of more concern.  it would've meant you were still in denial or were probably still in love with and pining for the ex. 

[i_v_y]

thank you charie. i feel better yesterday and today. they still cross my mind from time to time, picturing a family that I once planned.

Pero ganun talaga, I am just happy and I feel that I am much better position right now.

[momentum]

im happy for you sis i_v_y, nasubaybayan ko rin story mo from before

just think nalang sis, buti narin na hindi ikaw yung nasa situation of that mistress today. imagine her stress now, she has a baby and your ex is fooling around while she has to take care of their child. what kind of a life is that? nakakabaliw.

I guess they got their share of karma na talaga, lalo na yung girl. Things really happen for a reason..and  maybe God really arranged that you guys didn't have kids coz of how this ex of yours is. There is a better man for you that will be a better father to your future child.  God was and is protecting you

 

[i_v_y]

^awww. thanks sis. that just made my day. yun na ang ipplug in ko sa utak ko and it does remind me the reasons why i left.

now my current love of my life is so crazy to have a baby together lalo na when he saw the mix of pinoys and italians. he is wonderful man, hindi palainom, he values me, he treats me like i am the most beautiful woman in the world, he likes to talk about problems and a gazillion of other things.

sana dumating na yung araw na i can sincerely wish my ex and his gf well. sa ngayon kasi medyo may nega vibes pa. pero as sis loiusmom had said - malapit nako sa dulo.

[lisse]

I am happy that your life is much improved na as compared to when you and your ex were still together. Also, I asked a friend who is in a somewhat similar position as you are in. even the baby part, why she is very positive. she said: "I am so happy and blessed now to be resentful to ANYONE." Ikaw din, you are so blessed, you've survived the storm and now may rainbow ka pa. From Italy pa, diba sosyal

[i_v_y]

sis lisse, gusto ko yung sagot ng friend mo ha. I'll get there for sure. medyo mahirap kasi yung pinagdaanan ko. pero im almost there. salamat sa words of encouragement.

i was never wrong to start the thread when i was feeling bad the other night.

[maiandra]

sis ivy, namiss ko yung mga posts mo! anyway yeah nababasa ko rin yung wall nung kabit and I know sa ngayon masaya sya pero lagi ko ngang sinasabi: May ganti rin ang Diyos. Kung niloko ka nga ng hubby mo, pano pa kaya sya na mistress lang, na walang pinanghahawakan?

Actually magulat ka kung wala kng naramdaman when you found out about the baby. It just means you're still human!  And the best therapy is to start dreaming again.  What are your plans now sis ivy? Will you be getting an annulment?

[i_v_y]

hi sis maiandra! tulad nga ng ni pm nia sa akin noon, alam na daw nia kung ano yung naramdaman ko noon. masakit daw. hindi ko sinagot kasi malayo yung naramdaman nia sa naramdaman ko because she is not the wife.

yes, i plan to get an anullment but not in the near future. annulment will hinder my immediate plans to go to italy.

in fairness cute ng baby nila. kamukha ng ex ko. pero sometimes naiisip ko na baka iniisip nila at ng family nia na im miserable kasi hindi kami nagka anak or whatever but i  will not allow that to pull me down. buti na lang malakas ang support system ng gt.

[swtgrl_bee]

^Nice attitude sis Pero about your question, normal lang yan. Continue to be be happy sis.

[nicoletta]

i_v_y

I'm happy that you are in a better place.  If you can still have a baby, yours would even look artistahin since your bf is a foreigner.  As childish as it may sound, you are
better off now with your bf.  Karma nalang ng kabit niya na hindi nga marunong makontento bf niya.