Respect For Your Elderly Relatives - When Do You Draw The Line?

[aoshi_01]

Hello.

This situation has always bugged me even as an adolescent. My uncle (Dad's older brother, emphasis on older) has always been dependent on my Dad when it comes to his family's finances. Nakakahiya man aminin, pero tamad talaga siya for the lack of a better term.

All throughout their lives, it was my father who financed his 3 kids' education. But we never felt any gratitude of any sort coming from them. Eventually the eldest daughter got married and now has her own family in the U.S. and the second daughter used to work in Taiwan until she had some liver complications and is now staying home and has to go through dialysis on a daily basis. The youngest (a male) parang nagmana sa father niya. Jobless and got his girlfriend pregnant, even had the guts to have an engrande wedding.

Nakakainis lang na naalala lang nila ang Dad every time they need money. Now, my Dad (who ironically until his retirement as one of Globe Telecom's engineers) doesn't own a mobile phone, every time his friends/relatives communicate with us, it's through my Mom's phone. So tuwing magtetext itong si Uncle parang akala mo may patagong pera. Here's a sample of one of his texts to my mom "Pupunta ba kayong weekend doon sa family gathering? Pakisabi kay (insert Dad's name here) mag-dala ng 6 thousand, kailangan ko lang."

Palagi na lang kasing ganito ang situation. I feel that since my Dad is already in his senior years, he owes it to himself not to be burdened by issues like this. I'm more than tempted to text my uncle but I wouldn't want to be labelled as maleducada.

How would you deal with a situation like this?

[evilwoman]

Wala.ganyan ang tito mo kasi hinahayaan ng tatay mo.kung dumating siguro sa point na ang gastos ng tatay e nagpapasa sa iyo because of your tito,that's the time siguro to speak up.

[aquacharly]

^good answer.

Do not pity your dad, he put himself in that position of being exploited (as you  see it) by your uncle.  Kahit gumulong sa kalye sa kaiiyak yang Tito mo, kung ayaw ng Pops mo -- wala.

[burgundy]

Only your dad can draw a line to this. Pero as long as your dad accomodate lahat ng hingi ng kuya nya eh there is nothing you can do at lalo na at its your Dad's money naman. Maybe your dad find happiness sa pagtutulong nya duon sa kuya nya?  Meron ganun eh, masaya sila pagnakakatulong sila kahit minsan eh inaabuso na sila eh hindi pa rin nila alam.

[aoshi_01]

I really appreciate your feedback sisses. In fairness, after nung "pahingi ng 6k" episode, hindi na siya inabutan ng Dad ko. Yun nga lang, I got a really long LOOONG lecture about being financially responsible so as not to end up like them.

[jeanette01]

Yun naman pala, buti naman natauhan din. Hindi talaga pwede magcomment ang mga younger ones sa nakakatanda, hindi rin naman ikaw mismo ang hinihingan