Yaya leaving "dahil pinagalitan daw"

[zxcvb]

I got a call from my sister, saying that our other sister told her to tell me and my mom to not scold the yaya of our nephew.  It turns out today, the yaya told my sister and BIL that she's leaving because some people at our house without mentioning names (meaning Mom and me) always scold her.

Now, I was pretty irritated last Saturday Sep 7.  Thing is, I have been irritated with some of the things this yaya does or doesn't. But I didn't saying anything, tinitiis ko lang and hinahayaan ako.   Last Sat I fixed little nephew's toy box because everything was just piled on top of each other.  At first I gave her instructions like "Ipatong mo 'to dun sa box". Later I didn't give instructions anymore and just did the fixing myself.  That day my mom also reprimanded her for the bottles. 

Yesterday my mom reprimanded her again for bottles and how she made 'timpla' the milk.  Yaya and nephew went with us with the mall (his parents weren't with us, were busy).  After lunch I was with yaya and little nephew sleeping so I didn't get to stroll around..  We normally don't like to leave the baby with just the yaya.  When we got home, pinagsabihan ko, coz' I have noticed that she doesn't make ligpit the slippers she use, nakakalat lang.  I told her to move them under the chair when they have gone home for the day, para hindi nakakalat lang.  She didn't reply, deadma lang. 

Even when she was just new to the job, I was already irritated with her as she seemed 'kapal mukha'. She keeps on texting and using her phone.  Oftentimes when we're with nephew playing or watching tv, sometimes she would make paalam to go out lang, sometimes not, in order to use her cellphone.  My mom said that when she's cooking in the kitchen, the yaya is outside talking on the phone.  She would tell yaya to be careful, because there are lots of mosquitoes and she might catch dengue.  My mom already made 'parinig' to her, saying "Ang dami mo namang boyfriend, laging may ka-text."  She responded saying, "Ay hindi, may problema kasi yun pamangkin ko blah blah blah."

The other day my mom came in the room, and yaya said "Mam kakain muna ako ng tinapay".  I was surprised, because she already had merienda that afternoon.  When she left the room, I told my mom that it was already her 2nd merienda.

Today when I received the call that the yaya is leaving, because "lagi daw siya napapagalitan dun sa kabilang bahay".  I had to laugh in my mind.  Lagi? When is 'lagi',  starting last Saturday???

It's really disheartening.  Our sister is probably blaming me and my mom for the yaya wanting to leave because we "kept scolding her".  I do not claim to be the perfect and kindest amo (actually I'm not the amo, but as you can see during those times I spend time and help out with looking after nephew).   However, I endured and I didn't immediately say something all those times.  I don't know what to do now, but I feel like I'm the villain and bad guy, like I can't do anything right    I only want the best for nephew, and it annoys me when the yaya is not doing her job.  Kami yun nagiging yaya.

[khriseeee]

Explain it to your sister. Why would she hire and pay hard earned money to a yaya who does not perform well?

There are a lot of things that annoy me about my yaya too, I choose my battles though. I know she gets mad and before she left for her vacation she kept making parinig that we didn't want her na (I guess coz I get mad at her?). But to my point, I pay her good money (and a lot of money as what I've heard from other people) and I am the employer. If she's not happy she can leave.

[chicafabulosa]

Tell your sister. One thing is you are paying her to obey your rules to keep an eye to your nephew but that doesnt mean she shouldnt be following any of your house rules. Now if she thinks na di sya dapat pagalitan and aalis sya because of that let her go. Di ako mahilig magmakaawa sa maid. If they want to leave then leave. Mahirap ang ang kasambahay na ayaw mapagsasabihan. Aba ano yan kayo na amo ang maga adjust sa kanya. Naku sis tell your sister kung ganyan yan ayaw mapagsabihan ng mali nya, sya rin mahihirapan sa yaya na yan. Magiging sakit ng ulo lang yan

[quinone]

baka kasi ok lang sa sister & BIL mo ang trabahong substandard. siguro next time na pupunta yung nephew mo or their family sa bahay ninyo, huwag na isama ang househelp nila. kung pasado sa standards nila ang maid na yan, asahan mo ang mga susunod nilang maids, ganoon din ang ugali at klase ng trabaho, maiinis lang kayo ng mom mo.

hindi siya talaga interesado magtrabaho, otherwise, magliligpit yan ng kalat nila ng alaga niya. chaka ang househelp na wala sa bahay ng amo niya dapat mas maayos magtrabaho, mas may hiya diba?!

[Kady_14]

Let her go.

Malamang ayaw niya ng pinagsasabihan and maarte karamihan sa kanila ngayon kasi alam nila na madaming nangangailangan ng yaya. Next time tellyour sister na I-brief ang new yaya na hindi lang siya (your sis) ang pwedeng manaway sa kanya (yaya) para simula't simula pa lang alam ng yaya na maski kayo ni Mommy eh mangangaral and on the look out sa nephew mo, lalo kapag wala silang mag-asawa.

Your sister might be pissed kasi mahirap humanap talaga sa ngayon ng yaya. Nanay din ako and mahirap lalo if she's working.

[hunny_ally]

On one hand I can understand your sister, hindi madali makahanap ng yaya. So minsan you should, like what a commenter said here "choose your battles".

But then again between you and your mom and the yaya, siguro naman it's a no brainer kung sino ang mas may malasakit sa bata. Baka may nakikita kayo na ugali that the yaya doesn't show when the amo (meaning the one who pays her salary) is around.

Pero talaga may ibang maids na masyadong balat sibuyas. Akala nila porke't sinita sila, eh pagalit na. Like what I told my yaya here na meron akong sariling standards sa bahay, if makita ko na mali ginagawa I call their attention. Hindi pagalit yun. For me kasi iba ang pinapagalitan. Kung ayaw na kino-correct ang ginagawa nila, gawin ang mga bagay the way I wanted it done. I call the shots so its my way or the highway. If away nila nun, they can leave. Maghanap sila ng mapapasukan na puwede silang mag-astang amo

[Purple_Power]

Nakakarelate ako sayo. Yung maid namin na pinagalitan ko nagpaalam na maglayas last year dahil nga rin dyan sa pinagalitan ko siya. Nakakasama lang kasi sinabihan mo naman ng maayos saka ng matino kung bakit hindi niya sinusunod yung pakiusap mo tapos kapag pinagalitan mo ikaw pa masama. Sinabihan pa ako ng Nanay ko na huwag akong mang api ng kapwa. So dahil puno na rin ako at alam kong hindi rin naman papakinggan ang explanation ko lumayas ako as in nagpunta ako sa isang temporary house. Kinausap ako ng madre tapos yung madre tumawag sa bahay namin then yung isang maid na nakasagot pero hindi yung pinagalitan ko sinabihan nung madre na ang pride naman ng mga maid niyo dyan pinagalitan lang gusto kaagad umalis. The sister told me mayayabang na talaga maids ngayon and dahil na rin may kasambahay bill, you see itong batas na ito ang nagpahirap sa atin lalo eh! Nagpalaki lang ng ulo ng maids.

Totoo mahirap humanap ng matinong maids ngayon lalo na yung may kabutihan na ugali. Pero ito yun eh! Do they have the right or authority na magmataas sayo? Sino ba nakituloy at namasukan na stranger in the first place? Tapos gagawing bakasyunan ang bahay mo. Sinong hindi magagalit kung hindi niya ginagawa trabaho niya? Yang mga yan nangangarap pa ng maging edukada, makapagtrabaho sa corporate eh kita mo naman kung ano ginagawa niya.

[lisse]

we all understand how the yayas/maids now operate: they believe they have the upperhand kasi nga the demand is high pero the supply is not enough. but that is not reason enough for them not to perform their duties well. kahit anong job naman diba, kapag hindi pasado sa standards ang output mo you will be scolded din naman ng boss?
anyway, i think your dilemma is kayo ng mom mo ang nasisisi ng sis mo why the yaya is leaving. I suggest telling your sister na when the yaya gets scolded, it is justified, and not for the sake na maka-scold lang basta-basta. then, make no promises na you will "change" or hindi na papagalitan si yaya, lay down the rules between you and your mom + the nephew when he's there in your place. i know most of the time common sense na lang eh pero minsan nga sa sobrang common, nawalan na ng sense. offer a truce, like okay say meron siyang half an hour to herself to address her "needs": text, call, chika, eat, ayos ng sarili, watch ng TV, etc. then after that back to work na siya, wala ng cellphone, wala ng excuses. if not, and nagmamaganda pa din si yaya, better not let her come there na lang. ma-stress ka pa and your mom + it's not worth the trouble of being on the "blaming end" of your sis, kasi nga badly needed niya ng yaya so she's in a not so good position tapos seems like si yaya alam na kung pano paikutin si sis mo. hire someone else na lang, like a sitter whenever si nephew is with you, if possible. kesa naman makunsumi ka lagi sa yaya na hindi mo naman responsibility i-train. better let your sis see for herself what you and your mom saw in her.