Parents asking to pay them back

[jakks]

Wala lang ako makausap.  I need you opinion on this.

Last year my father bought a lot beside our house.  He really wanted to buy that lot kase sa subd. namin halos 1 block pag aari na nya except 2 lots and that 1 that we recently bought.  Retired na sya so yung pinangbili nya dun ay retirement money nya.
I am a single mom. I live with my dad. Gusto ko din naman magkaron ng bahay na sarili ko.  So he offered me that new lot for me to build my house on.  Kaya lang i need to pay him back kase retirement money nya nga yung pinangbili dun.  So ngayon tinatayo na ang bahay ko.  I was able to loan from the bank for my house construction.  Supposed to be from the loan ko kukunin ang ipangbabayad ko sa dad ko.  Kaya lang the amount that I was able to loan is exact lang sa construction cost ng bahay. Me and my bf of 5 yrs agreed that he'll take care of the balance.  Since kaming 2 naman ang titira sa bahay na yun.  Ang problema ko ngayon nagkakalabuan kami ni bf. I don't know how to tell my dad na hindi ko sya mababayaran sa lote na binili nya.  My salary is just enough for my expenses and pambayad sa utang sa bank. 
Minsan naiisip ko why are my parents asking payment from me, when they don't ask anything from my other siblings sa lahat ng naitulong nila sa kanila.  Lahat naman kami professionals na ngayon. Hindi ko naman pwede i-ignore nalang yung responsibility ko sa dad ko kasi sabi nya its his retirement money.
How to deal with this?

[aquacharly]

Lay down your cards.  Tell him the state of your finances.
Pay when able, tell him.
Or, pay him a small amount each month. 

Why is he demanding you to pay, when he isn't asking to be paid back by your siblings?
you should have jokingly asked that before you agreed to pay him out of your loan proceeds.
...   Maybe he really has no other source of funds for his daily requirements.
(That says a lot  about his  pride over owning almost the entire block besting financial practicality.  But oh well, what's done is done.)

You should also have that land titled in your name alone, to prevent legal problems in the future. 

[xtine]

Sis, you can post your queries here.  Marami ang nakakaintindi sayo dito:

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,260880.360.html

My suggestion is same as sis aquacharly, lay it down to your dad.  Para clear sa kanya ang predicament mo.  Its not only your responsibility dahil hindil ang ikaw ang anak nya.  The thread above is very helpful kasi maraming ganyang stories ang shineshare ng sisters natin.

[rochelle1025]

Be honest with your financial situation.

Personally, ganun ang arrangement namin with my parents. When I borrow money from my parents, I always pay them back. I make sure that I tell my dad that I will pay him X amount every month until fully paid na yung utang ko. I've done this several times already and I always, always pay back my dad.

In the process, my parents and I never had any problems with money. And pag kailangan kong umutang, dad is always ready to help out kasi alam niyang, I am true to my word and nagbabayad ako ng utang. Same goes with my brothers.

Try arranging a payment plan with your dad. You can open a bank account in his name and dun mo huhulugan yung utang mo. I know you said na kayong dalawa naman ng dad mo ang tumitira sa bahay but utang is utang and you agreed to lend money from him, eh. Your dad is also concerned with his retirement.

And regarding your BF, di naman kasi dapat talaga kasama ang BF sa pagbili ng bahay. Sorry to be blunt about it pero if hindi mo naman pala kayang magpagawa ng bahay at si BF lang ang aako ng financial responsibilities, sana nagsave ka na muna ng pera na enough to build a house on your own.

[jakks]

Thank u for your replies.

Sis rochelle, magkahati kami sa responsibility kasi plano namin pareho yun.  I can build my own house within my capacity it just so happen na 2 kami nagplano nun. And samin 2 he's the one who wants a bigger house.  It's not pumapasok ako sa responsibility na hindi ko kaya at sinasali ko sya. I did not expect na mangyayari samin to. Given the sitiation i have to think my next step maging ok o hindi kami ni bf.

Sis aquacharly, yes the title is in my name. Kaya i was able to loan from a bank.

[aquacharly]

Hahaha, good the land title is in your name.
If you should split up -- tell him bitbitin nya his portion of the house.   

[Mama G]

Ganyan din case ko, papatayuan kami ng father ko ng bahay sa 3rd floor pero babayaran ko sya on a monthly basis. Isipin na lang daw namin na nagbabayad kami ng rent. Ok lang samin yun kasi pera naman talaga niya yun dahil retirement pay din niya yun and wala na siyang ibang source of income diba. Tungkol naman sa hindi paniningil sa mga ibinigay na niya sa mga kapatid ko like sa pinangkasal pinangbinyag and punangbili ng kotse ng mga kapatid ko okay lang din kasi ako rin naman may mga ibinigay na sila sakin na hindi na rin naman nila siningil.

[burgundy]

Sis, utang is utang and regalo ay regalo. If that lote is an utang eh you have to pay it back. Buti nga dyan sa Dad mo walang interest.  Kung sa bank ka nag-loan eh may interest na eh baka maremata pa if hindi ka agad nakakabayad. Tell your dad about your current situation at baka maawa at iregalo na lang syo ang lot.

Probably your dad is just teaching you 'word of honor' and "responsibility". I do the same thing to my daughter, since she doesn't make money pa eh I ask her to do chores in the house to earn her allowance. 

[xtine]

^I was rereading TS post.  Parang may sablay nga ako sa answer ko.  he he he.  Parang dapat hndi mna talaga nagpatayo ng bahay si TS lalo na kung di pa nya afford.  It seems nagamit ang retirement funds ni daddy as pautang.  So dapat nga talagang bayaran kasi its our responsibility to pay our loan may it be sa magulang or sa ibang tao.   I re read the post and akala ko they are asking for obligation and not payment sa loans.  Mashado lang ako naattach doon sa thread na nipost ko.


To TS.  Are you still proceeding with the patayo ng bahay?  Kasi baka yung loan or pambili ng materials to construct the house, ibayad mo nlang sa daddy mo kasi mas kelangan nya ang retirement money niya.  Let's face it, makakahanap pa tayo ng way to earn pero sila, yun nalang ang kaninang sandalan for their own needs.  Or you can sell the lot if talagang hindi mo pa kaya.  I do agree na kung hindi kaya wag pilitin.  I bought mine nung nakaya ko lang ifinance pero kung wala ako ni isang capital at panay utang lahat parang nag dalawang isip ako kasi ayokong ibenta rin yung bahay pag di ko mabayaran mga obligations ko.  Just my two cents.