To all married wives: Will you consider living in with your in-laws?

[ducky]

No.

Right after hubby & I got married, we moved to our own place. What I don't like is every time my MIL is around the house - she has the tendency to go through our stuff and complains that our clothes aren't folded properly or one area of the house isn't tidy enough.

I know that I'm supposed to do that but I'm pregnant and was on bed rest that week.

Hay nako, what more pa if we live with them.

[mebpa]

No, I want everything my wife. If I have to compromise, kay hubby lang.

[Mej1986]

No!

Although we've tried it for about a month. Wala naman sila ginawa sakin na di maganda still andun yung dika maka kilos ng gusto mo.

[Awesomecakes]

I have read some of the posts related to this but I want to know what are your thoughts on this? Will you consider living in with your in-laws? How do you deal with it?

Boyfriend and I have been together for more than six years na, ever since our relationship started, kilala na ako ng family niya. I can also say that I'm more close with his family than him being close with my side. Since day one, wala naman ako naging problema sa family ni boyfie kasi they're okay with me. As in every occassion present ako and always ako hinahanap if ever di ako maka-attend. Thankful ako for having them as my second family na. They already treated me as part of their family na rin.

Then this question suddenly popped into my mind. Six years na kami, and yes we do have plans na on getting married na. I just wonder lang, what will happen after the wedding? Boyfriend's a family man. I can see na he really values his family, sobrang love niya ang mom niya and his five sisters (yes, 5 sisters!). As his partner, syempre natutuwa ako because it only means that he'll be a good man kapag nagkaroon na siya ng own family. But what if he decides to live with them?

I have nothing against with his family but I think it's normal for a girl like me na mag look forward to have our own "home" for our family diba? I'm just scared na someday maging problem ito kasi parang may signs na doon talaga kami titira in the future since he's the only "son" sa kanya rin mapupunta ang bahay na yun. Practicality wise, oo it's better na doon tumira and spend our savings to something more important pero what about me? I dont wanna sound selfish or what, please enligten me.

Hello, girls! Can't believe Ive posted this almost two years ago! Just to give you guys an update, we're not married YET, but we just got our house!!! It's actually a pre-selling house, somewhere in Antipolo. It's something that we can call our OWN. No proposal yet, but I'm after our future. We can set the wedding anytime now, pero we choose to prioritize our life after the wedding - which is our marriage. Sobrang thankful ako kasi in a way, naliwanagan siya kasi before I remember posting this, then a few days or weeks ata I asked him and he answered, SA KANILA KAMI TITIRA. Wala ako nagawa and I cried lang. Im thankful everything's falling into the right place. Slowly but surely. Konting ipon na lang and mag-start na kami to plan our wedding. Medyo malaki din kasi yun expenses sa house(currently paying the EQUITY).

What Ive learned in 8 years of being together, there's a chance and hope sa lahat ng bagay as long as you're willing to compromise.

[sildusoleil]

Hubby and I agreed to it. His Dad is growing old and lonely. Balak namin bukod muna kami para naman maenjoy namin na kaming 2 lang muna. Pero pag di na talaga kaya ng Dad niya mabuhay mag-isa ay need na talaga namin lumipat sa bahay ng Dad niya.

[mikaelavhan]

Nope .ang hirap makisama.kahit anong bait  pa nila, lalabas at lalabas yung mga mood swing ,sympre dahil nakikitira ka ikaw yung magaadjust.bukod pa sa di ka makakakilos ng maayos .mas okay na bumukod.atleast ikaw yung reyna .

[crzysxycl]

^^ganyan din usapan namin ni hubby dati. pumayag ako kasi naawa ako kay MIL, wala kasama sa house. ang ending? bumukod din kami after 3 yrs, hindi ko kinaya ugali ng matandang yun. siniraan ako sa mga kamag anak nila, samantalang siya itong masama ang ugali. lahat gusto nya kontrolado at may approval nya, kahit pagpunta ko sa mom ko issue sa kanya, bruha talaga. no wonder hindi kami nagkababy ng asawa ko, grabe stress ko nung nandun kami.

[prettydefined]

For me hindi talaga. Masarap maging independent. Kahit anong bait pa ng in laws syempre iba pa din nakabukod. 2 years din kame tumira with my in laws. Okay naman. Wala akong iniintindi kundi mga anak ko lang at asawa ko. Hands on ako sa mga anak ko which is nagustuhan yun ng mil ko naman. Pero kahit sinong babae I think gusto nakahiwalay. Iba ang pakiramdam na may sarili kayo. Matututo ka din maging responsable sa mga bagay bagay. Natuto ako mag budget and all. 

[bonzaigirl]

I am glad that we are based overseas and hindi ko ito magiging problema... pa. My MIL is nice naman but tends to be meddlesome.  At first hindi sya ganun, full support and all, but while our church wedding preps is ongoing  (until now since my husband and I wed in a civil union a month ago), lahat pinapakialamanan nya even though hindi namin sya hinihingan ng contribution.  It all started out as simple suggestions which I would always reply with I'll look into it, or I'll try. Tapos nalalaman ko na lang na she has already told certain supplier friends of hers na kukunin ko sila which I never did. I didn't take aNy of her friends as a result.  Not because I'm being vindictive but because after I saw the works of her supplier friends, it was below standard of what I wanted.  Although now hindi na sya nangungulit, kasi my husband put his foot down na. So what more pag dun kami nakatira sa kanila. Gusto naman nila Ko for their son, kasi asikasong asikaso ko anak nila. Pero hindi ko lang talaga carry yung pinapakialamanan bawat aspect ng buhay namin.

[josebeth]

nana! me and my boyfriend was planning to get married in the near future. pero everytime we discuss about where we gonna be our place to stay nag tatalo kami. i don't know how to convince him not to stay on his parents side. my relationship with my soon to be in laws is ok naman so far pero syempre we didn't know padin what will happen next. it might one day everything's change. hindi padin natin talaga maiiwasan na may masasabi sila.

[josebeth]

Well, mukhang matagal tagal pa naman kami lilipat ni Hubby sa dad nya after ng kasal. Sana lang wala syang problema sa mga Pinay. .-.

as long as magaling ka makisama Sis, nothing is impossible

[coolhair]

No, syrmpre kung di pa kayo kasal at wala ka pa sa bahay nila, wala ka pang maamoy na malansa. Pero mga inlaws pag nasa bahay ka nila naka stay ang trato sayo bali wala at katulong habang nakikisama ka ng maayos.  At lahat ng pinapakita sayong magaganda dati e babaliktad. Kasi sa isang bahay di pwede dalawa ang reyna. Lalo na kung mukang pera ang inlaws mo dahil di na mabibigyan ni hubby ng pera ang mommy niya e derecho na saiyo samantalang mga kinakain sa bahay galing din naman sa pera galing kay hubby. Well di naman lahat ng inlaws ganyan. Mga 90% siguro. Isa lang siguro ako sa malas na nakasama sa 90% well siguro kung mayaman kami ni husband naka bili na saba kami ng bahay. Wala din kaming magawa.

[Awesomecakes]

nana! me and my boyfriend was planning to get married in the near future. pero everytime we discuss about where we gonna be our place to stay nag tatalo kami. i don't know how to convince him not to stay on his parents side. my relationship with my soon to be in laws is ok naman so far pero syempre we didn't know padin what will happen next. it might one day everything's change. hindi padin natin talaga maiiwasan na may masasabi sila.

Hello, sis. I've been in that situation before (that's the time when I started this thread)... That was 2 years ago. Being in mid 20s syempre girls can't help but ask this kind of questions and raise this to your boyfriend lalo na if you're in a long term relationship. 6 years na kami that time when I asked him ano plans niya once we're married. We had an arguement kasi closed yun mind niya and sa sobrang pagka family man niya, he doesnt want to leave his parents daw (tried to raise this for sooo many times). I was so disappointed and it came to a point wherein napapaisip ako what if he'll stick with this decision? There was also a point na I also opened this up with my closest friends siguro to find someone who will undestand my point, who will agree with me. Two years passed, I stood by his side. May mga issues kami napagdaanan and we're still together and we're able to fix it.

Fast forward (to now), two years later, we now have our own house. We're able to buy a pre-selling house and lot. Sobrang happy ko. It may have took some time before he realized the right thing but Im happy kasi I was patient enough to wait for the perfect time. Yun issues din namin on getting married, ngayon medyo nap-plan na namin ng maayos. Before kasi we're earning naman but not enough. By God's grace we're able to make our plans and dreams into reality, medyo matagal but it's worth the wait. 8 years na kami ngayon and we're planning to get married in 1 years and 3 months from now.

What I can say is - patience lang sis. You know your partner more than anyone else. It's all about you entrusting your life with him, Im not saying you have to wait for years din sis, pero you know him enough and by this time alam mo naman kung ano yun vision niya in life. Communication is the key. Be open with him ano yun gusto mong plans in the future. Hope this helps sis. God bless!

[Nuriko]

^wow, congrats. buti at nakakuha rin kayo ng house nyo. mahirap talaga pumisan sa biyenan, base sa experience ko sa mga kapatid ko. nung una kaming nagsama, tumira kami sa isang maliit na kwarto lang. mas mabuti pang ganun kesa tumira sa malaking bahay na ang mga kasama mo eh nakamatyag sa bawat kilos mo. kaya nga "lalagay sa tahimik" eh

[loveleah]

Lived with MIL and moved out kasi hindi kami magkasundo, then we moved in to my house, and now we're back living with MIL again, kasi walang maid that time and I was pregnant and hubby said it would do me good if may katulong ako sa mga bata, he meant his mom.. But.. that never happened, MIL is not the patient type around grandchildren, always nagging , even shouting at them at times and hurting my eldest who is super kulit. Sad thing, hubby agrees with her, parang tipong gusto nilang laging proper yung kids, eh, mga bata yun!siyempre, very active and playful. Nakakabingi minsan ang mga No!No's nila.. What more, MIL is a hoarder, gustuhin ko mang maglinis ng house, hindi ko alam saan ilalagay mga excess things and trash, lalo na sa harap ng house where she stock them up, cartons, empty water bottles, plastic, and ayaw niya galawin . Bottomline, its still best to live on your own, I'm planning to leave with my kids, and get back to my house when the time is right, magiipon pa and have my eldest finish his school which is just very near our current house, hubby is nega about it, he's a super mama's boy but does not want to accept it, well, he just have to be left behind..

[sinner217]

Tried living with my F.I.L. for a year. Okay lang naman pero mahirap kahit na tahimik si F.I.L, me nakakainis na feeling minsan pag hindi siya maka-follow ng house rules na kayong mag asawa ang nag-set.  Parang feeling ko, dahil siya un tatay ni hubby, gusto niya ang dapat masunod even in our house.  We haven't lived with MIL, pero naniniwala ako na "there cannot be 2 queens in the house."  Shempre me kanya kanyang gusto, me kanya kanyang standard unless ang isa ay magbibigay at tatahimik lang whatever happens, hindi magiging matahimik ang buhay niyong lahat

[super bratinella]

No, there can only be one queen in the house..

[ms_jazzy]

No. Bukod talaga dapat.  If I could start over again, I would have never considered living with my family (how much more kung in-laws). 

[cezaspiras]

No, hindi mo mapiling kasama mo sa house kasi kung sinong gusto nilang patirahin, wala kang say. Like what happened to us. Kahit ayokong tumira with us cousin ni hubby pero wala kaming nagawa, then lately lang twice kami nawalan ng pera sa house mismo, as in very sure kami na sa house siya nawala pero ang hirap magsalita since relatives lahat ni hubby kasama namin. MIL even told hubby not to inform me about sa last incident kaya lang hindi nakapagtago si hubby ng hanapan ko ng intrega.

[cosmochick]

I'm not crazy yet to even think about it.