To all married wives: Will you consider living in with your in-laws?

[BDJ]

Ito lang naman ang tip and advise ko if you are living with in laws, in which nasa situation na kayo na you can't anything do about it due to some reason.

You must have the strong objective na you are there because of your husband and child too. It can be pakapalan ng pagmumukha ito pero yun naman talaga ang dahilan diba? Alangan namang yung in law ang primary objective mo kahit na ba sa kanyang territory yun eh! Kung yung maid nga matitigas na mga mukha ngayon mga daughter in laws pa kaya?

You can be obedient but not to the extent of being slave sa mga demands nila. As I said to the earlier post there are tendencies na the more you follow their demands the more they will abuse to the extent of being fault finder. Lahat ng ikikilos mo magiging mali sa mata nila. Kaya in my own experience hindi ko talaga sinunod ang granny in law ko at buti sa maliit na bagay pa lang nagawa ko na or else my pregnancy will be horrible and stressful.

Be honest with your husband of how your in law treated you especially when he is away. Dyan kasi nagtatake advantage mga in laws eh! I've experienced this already and I really told my hubby na I would rather go home. Buti nga naagapan agad or else again baka nalaglag pa anak ko. Your hubby can do about it naman then if doesn't believe or kinokontra na niya ang complaints mo then it is time for you to say goodbye or you would rather go home. Meaning sana may back up plans kayo in case may gawin ang in law niyo na hindi na makatarungan.

Huwag kayong magproject sa in law na you are someone na pwede niyang kaya kayanin lang or else they will eat you alive.

Expect it that they will criticize you and will have negative comments na sasabihin niya to other people about you. Ito ang common na nababasa ko at nagiging problem with in laws. Ang masasabi ko be strong enough to deal with this matter. Alam mo naman you cannot please everybody. Kung negative naman ang pagkatao niya in the end naman siya rin mahihirapan at may dala ng hinanakit. Basta ang objective niyo na lang rito is as long as hindi kayo hinaharass ng ibang tao nandahil lang sa nai tsismis about you ng in law mo. In my case sure ako rito na ginagawa rin ito ng in law ko and I am not totally bothered about it anymore. Kung yung ibang tao nga kung siraan niya or bigyan ng negative comments ganun na lang ako pa kaya? Basta my objective is I don't care about it anymore and it is not my problem. 

[Angelme]

A big NO! Honestly, i can't live together with any person aside from my hubby and parents. May pagka-loner kase ako and so is my husband. We're not even getting a maid, because when we're home, we just want to relax, no annoyance, nuisance, or anything. So sorry to in-laws, we just can't. Unless maybe if we're living in such a big house, that we don't get a chance to see often.

[khaleesiCersei]

no. ibang-iba un sila sa mundong nakalakihan ko where everyone gets along fine and if may differences man, hindi na pinapalaki at walang nakikisawsaw kaya naayos agad ang problema. so no to the annoying inlaws. i'd rather burn bridges and cut ties kesa ma stress ako sa pakikisalamuha sa kanila. sorry for the term, pero wala silang breeding. crab mentality ang umiiral sa kanila kaya madalas may inggitan at chismisan. as in sila-sila nagsisiraan, good thing my hubby takes my side kaya very limited ang encounters namin sa kanila as in hi hello bye lang.

[imeego]

after we got maried, sa inlaws kami tumira for over a year..pumayag ako na ganun since kakatapos lang ng training and exams namin ni hubby sa manila at mag-start pa lang mag-work si hubby..ok naman experience ko with the inlaws, in fact super bait nila and sobrang spoiled ako..pati merienda ko pinapaakyat nila sa room namin, hatid-sundo ng driver pag may check up, di nila ako obligadong tumulong sa chores dahil may mga helpers naman..never had any conflict sa kanila..pero iba pa din kasi yung may sarili kayong place talaga, nahihiya kasi akong gawin yung gusto ko, syempre naiisip ko din baka may masabi sila or what..so before my son turned 1 yr old, we moved out na

[BDJ]

^Wow you are very lucky to have that kind of in law. Unlike in my case nag eexpect agad that I should do things whereas preggy pa man din ako nun and the in law gave me much of stress. Ang tinding pressure yung binigay niya to me.

[goddessjem]

minsan parang ayaw ko na..naiinis kase ako sa madaming dada/comment..as if alam niya..pero ang totoo, wala siyang alam..sobrang kulit pa,,

[simang]

Let's try to look at another scenario naman.. for the wives, would you consider living in your parents' house with your husband?

Sana may mag husbands din who's in the same situation na magshare. Hehe

[bagaholic_chewy]

^ sa akin, I will not force my husband to live with my family. The same way na di rin nya ako dapat pilitin to live with his family. Bottomline, bukod talaga dapat. No to married couples living with the in-laws, kahit kaninong side pa. Personal conviction ko yan.

[imeego]

^Wow you are very lucky to have that kind of in law. Unlike in my case nag eexpect agad that I should do things whereas preggy pa man din ako nun and the in law gave me much of stress. Ang tinding pressure yung binigay niya to me.

yes sis, sobrang swerte ko sa inlaws, sobrang caring..there was a time pa i asked hubby bakit yung driver nila super bagal magmaneho tuwing hinahatid ako (prenatal check up etc)..yun pala binilinan ng MIL ko na bagalan dahil ayaw ako matagtag since preggy nga ako kahit ngayon nakabukod na kami, since alam nyang favorite ko crabs, lagi yun nagpapaluto tuwing visit kami sa kanila and may pabaon pa basta, super bait nila wala akong reklamo, pero iba pa din talaga yung nakabukod

[damsel.in.distress]

I'm having second thoughts na. Sa first post ko, I said yes. But now, parang ayoko na. The plan kasi is we will live with my stepdad. Though hindi talaga si stepdad sa bahay uuwi kasi dun sya sa bahay ng nanay nya nauwi. Yung kapatid kong bunso, dun din natutulog kasama nya.  Pero magkatabi lang yun bahay.

Anyway. What makes me think na ayaw ko na is napaka-toyoin nya. Small things, nakasigaw na. Pag nashoshort ng pera, nakasigaw. Basta. He's like that, short-tempered kumbaga.

What makes me want to live sa house namin naman is may sakit sya and syempre laking tipid for me and h2b since we have a daughter na.

Hay. Gusto ko lang naman ng peace of mind and freedom. Kasi minsan naglalabing-labing kami tas biglang aakyat yung kapatid kong bunso. Or minsan may toyo sya, pati tuloy ako totoyoin. Kawawa naman si h2b.

[BDJ]

imeego Buti ka pa you are experienced that. I mean I don't wish nor demand naman to have an in law na they will do or give everything pero yung tamang trato lang hindi yung binubulyawan ako tapos napagbalingan pa ng hinanakit. Kaya ayan tuloy hindi ko ma-take lahat ng advises from her kasi hindi ko makitaan ng credibility.

Let's try to look at another scenario naman.. for the wives, would you consider living in your parents' house with your husband?

Sana may mag husbands din who's in the same situation na magshare. Hehe

Nung una siempre ayoko dahil pakiramdam ko parang aawayin nila ako na titira ako sa bahay kasama ang asawa ko o lalo lang akong babangayan sabay may maipipintas na sila sa asawa ko. I also want to be stress free during that time. Pero wala rin by the time na andito naman ako with in law na my life became horrible too. My husband told me na ayaw rin niya living with in laws when I gave the example for it and he told me sana noon ko pa sinabi sa kanya na dun kami sa parents ko titira. Ayaw rin niya because of the same feeling pero ito naman ang napapansin ko kahit papaano. I don't think my parents will be monster in law to my husband as what my husband's granny did to me. Kung pagagalitan man I am sure that is only case to case basis scenario lang unlike yung granny ng hubby ko pinag-initan ako ng matindi kahit wala naman akong ginawang kasalanan. Sinabi ko nga sa husband ko na kung pareho rin lang nakakastress ang environment then I would really rather go home na lang.

[lovemeagain30]

mahirap din kapag iuuwi mo din ang asawang lalaki sa bahay ng magulang niyo. its a hit in the gut for the husband. it's like saying I can't provide you a home. possible hindi naman maging monster in law ang parents ni daughter but of course, they will have a say. hindi nga lang siguro nila ipaparinig sa daughter nila para hindi masaktan eto.

katulad nalang sa magiging anak namin na babae ng asawa ko, kapag inuwi niya sa bahay namin ang asawa niya. I will accept them kasi anak namin eh. pero siyempre samin mag asawa,, tataas ang kilay namin noh!  inasawa-asawa mo ang dalaga namin tapos di mo pala magbayad kahit man lang room for rent para sakanila. 

besides, the husband will feel awkward as well. mabuti kung mag strive siya to make a better living for his family. yun ang maganda! yun nga lang hindi lahat ng lalaki ay ganun.

[simang]

well kase sa setup ng sister ko and husband nya, they live sa house ng parents ko. my mom is abroad pero my dad and lola lives there sa bahay. personally walang sinasabi si dad pero ako yung medyo nakakafeel nung sinasabi mo sis lovemeagain. feeling ko wala man ka-balls balls tong BIL ko para ibukod ang sister ko at baby nila. hindi naman sa ayaw ko sila kasama, pero sobra kasing convenient ng buhay nila sa bahay ng parents ko and yung mom ko ang nahihirapan. til now, mom ko pa din nagbabayad ng bills doon, ultimo grocery sa bahay mom ko nagpapadala ng pera. kahit nga diapers ng pamangkin ko minsan mom ko pa din. nakakafrustrate lang kase nasa abroad mom ko and ang main reason kung bat ayaw nya pa magstop sa work is because of my sister's family. may sakit kase nephew ko and minsan sinusuportahan pa din sila ng mom ko sa pagpapagamot.

sobrang bait ng BIL ko, pero yun lang talaga ang feel ko sa kanya. parang wala talaga silang plano bumukod.

[j.adore]

As compromise, live close na lang as in same neighborhood. Near pa din in case of emergencies or if you simply want to spend time with her. But at the same time, nakabukod kayo as starting family.

[ajcruz]

No. Even sa bible "leave and cleave" ang practice during that time, maybe they have proven some conflicts so may basis ang law nila - Gen2:24

[mslcgrey]

Share ko lang ang magiging status naman ni hubby by this coming weekend.
Before we got married, bumili na kami ng house in a village adjacent to the village of my mom's house. In case of emergencies and the likes, ok naman talaga na may malapit na family member. Though after a few months after we got married saka pa lang kami nakalipat kasi we waited pa for the approval of the pag-ibig loan. So sa mom ko muna kami nakatira. Ok naman but since my bro, 2 sisters, and my niece also live with my mom so ang naging problem is yung sharing sa expenses kasi di equal. But in the personal level, ok kami. I also doubt na naisip ng mga kapatid ko na hindi ako kayang buhayin ni hubby kasi alam nila na we are just waiting for the approval of the loan para makalipat.
Fast forward to after 1.5 years, one of my sisters went abroad to work, she also have a house na with her bf on the same village as ours. My other sister decided to move out kasi sort of maglive in na sila ng kanyang bf/gf, sinama niya yung anak niya. My brother also decided to move out with my hilaw SIL and their kids. For this one, like sa majority dito hindi masyadong magkasundo si SIL and my mom.
So right now, solo ang mom ko sa house niya. Kaya naman niya and financially she can support herself kasi may narereceive naman siya na pension from my dad's company and sa sss pa. Sa gabi naman, dun natutulog sa house niya yung maid that they hired before. Sa maghapon si maid works for my sister in abroad bf's brother. Then we found out i'm pregnant.
Right now, midshift si hubby so may kasama pa ako sa gabi. He will return to night shift on my 6th month. So fear ni hubby na wala akong kasama on my last few months. Worried din siya sa mom ko. So he suggested that we move back to my mom's house tapos kami na ang sasagot sa electric bill and food. Ok naman sa mom ko, she even gave up her room which is my room before and the adjacent room na dati niyang room for us to turn into a nursery.
I'm very fortunate na magkasundo si hubby and my mom. Actually, even my sisters like hubby especially the bunso. My bro ok sila but wala kasi sila masyadong same interests so they are not quite close.
Hopefully, no problem will arise while we live again with my mom. 

[toinkz]

my hubby and i are neighbors. i used to call my MIL "lola" since she's my parents ninang in their wedding. then i married her bunso who's 9 yrs older than me and that made me the bunso in the family. so we live with them for quite awhile and super spoiled ako sa kanila pati mga chores ayaw ako pagawain. when i work again, my old maid SIL takes care of the kids since split family kami. i am super lucky to have them as inlaws and i respect them a lot and yet i always long to have a home i can call my own. now we have our own house na katabi lang ng bahay nila at wala kami kusina(dirty kitchen) kasi up to now sa kanila pa rin kami kumakain. everytime i go home puro paborito ko ang foods na hinahain. i guess, growing up in the same community, we were molded in the same values and that makes it easier to live with my inlaws.  

[ankyneMD]

Let's try to look at another scenario naman.. for the wives, would you consider living in your parents' house with your husband?

Sana may mag husbands din who's in the same situation na magshare. Hehe

id rather choose to live with my in laws kaysa sa mga parents ko. mas mahirap kasi pakisamahan ang parents ko lalo na si mama.

[BDJ]

^At least ikaw may mas mapipili ka pa in my case wala  pareho lang parents ko and in law ko so wala rin talaga. Although if I am going to compare mas li low naman ang parents ko kahit papaano. I am wondering kapag tumira ulit ako sa kanila.

I am wishing rin na maging solo na kami ni hubby in fact nagpaparamdam na itong Lola niya na gusto na niyang umuwi. Sana nga makasideline pa ako to help my hubby giving her finances.  Honestly gusto ko na rin siya umuwi ayoko naman kasi andito na yung bata tapos andyan pa rin ang negative vibes.

[j.adore]

Same stand kami regardless of which parent's house. We want to live on our own saka para fair na walang kailangan mag adjust.