mommy tutol sa kasal.

[CaraLuisa]

I don't know where to post this. Hingi lang ako ng opinion niyo.
I have a friend (guy) na nabuntis niya si gf niya. guy is 22 yrs old. Girl di ko sure, pero younger than him.
Pamilya ni girl alam na na buntis si girl. Gusto nila pakasal sila bago maging obvious yung tummy.
Si guy willing naman pakasalan si girl.
Problem is, ayaw ng mom niya. Ayaw ng mom ng guy na pakasal sila. Tutol siya.
Ano kaya puede gawin ni guy?
Any tips?
Violent reactions?
Suggestions?
Or any reaction lang.

Thanks!

[babyboo.0326]

meron pa palang ganyan ang nakikitang solution sa unplanned pregnancy nowadays?

i hope the main people involved are the ones to decide. first and foremost, future nila ang nakataya, not the people around them kahit pa pamilya nila yan. they are the ones who are supposed to know kung ano ang gusto at ayaw nila. 

i got pregnant when i was only 18 pero i never wanted to get married just because "nakakahiyang may makakita na malaki na ang tiyan dahil nabuntis ng maaga at hindi kasal". mind you, chinese ang relatives ko and chinese are very strict with these things. but i stood my ground. why? because it's my life, my future. unless bubuhayin nila ako at ang pamilya (magiging) ko hanggang sa pagtanda ko e pwede akong sumunod. if not, wala silang dapat pakialaman sa desisyon ko. RESPETO.  HTH

[CaraLuisa]

Thanks for your reply!

Ako rin I got pregnant before I got married. My decision too. and Best decision of my life. Although I married rin the dad of my baby 2 years after I gave birth. Di pa kasi ako sure before kaya ayaw ko, tas ayaw ko naman na pinakasalan lang niya ko dahil nabuntis niya ko dba?
I got to plan my wedding. it wasn't rushed, and alam ko we both love each other, and we can live and be with each other. Since lahat na ng stress nadaanan namin, at kami pa rin naman. LOL.

I have an opinion on what I think should happen, etc.
But gusto ko lang makita opinion ng iba.

Ang sabi ng guy friend ko, na yung lahat daw ng sisters ng gf niya, pinapakasal rin dahil nabuuntis.

[monbla]

I would understand why the mom would be against it. Naisip lang siguro ng mom na they are both too young to take on a lifelong commitment. If the main reason is dahil lang nabuntis at nakakahiya, hindi magandang foundation ng marriage yun.

Ayaw lang siguro na padalos-dalos. The pregnancy was a mistake, but cannot necessarily be corrected by getting married. If child support ang concern, mapapag usapan yun ng both families. If after a few more years, finished studies, stable career and mas kilala na nila sarili nila, baka mas makakapagdecide sila ng tama kung gusto ba talaga nila ikasal.

[CaraLuisa]

They both work in call center.

Yung prob ng guy friend ko is talagang iniinsist ng family ng girl na pakasalan. Love niya yung girl so gusto rin naman niya, (although feeling ko di talaga pa siya ready).
Kumbaga if he wants to stay with the girl and see and be with his future baby, need niya pakasalan. Kaso ayaw ng mommy nga ng guy. pag 22/23 yrs old ang guy, diba need pa ng parental consent pag ikakasal? tama ba?

[monbla]

Hindi ko alam. Hehe.

Either way, they will be defying the wishes of their parents pala (girl's or guy's). Biased ako coz I really feel they are too young, sorry, hehe. Thinking lang of the control their parents still have on them. Ang bata pa nila.

May compromise dito I guess which is to have a long engagement, if it could appease both set of parents. Baka naghahanap kasi ng show of commitment lang ang parents nung girl. Yung assurance na susupportahan niya.

[babyboo.0326]

i think dapat sabihin nalang ng guy what he feels about the whole situation, and also the girl. parents would really feel and think na masyado pang maaga, but then, they are both working na rin naman. tell the guy to try and talk to his GF's parents and tell them na he would support the girl and the baby and not leave them kahit na hindi pa kasal and would want to plan the marriage better than to have it rushed. 

[sk8rboyswife]

naranasan ko na to mga sis, I was 22 then and he was 21. Ayaw din saken pakasal ng mom in law ko nuon, kahit gusto ng hubby ko pakasal kami. di ko na masyadong matandaan pero yun nga ata yung ayaw pirmahan ng mom niya, yung 'parental consent'. ang dahilan naman, is mag aabroad si hubby so pag kinasal kami di na niya sila matutulungan. pero may work naman na ako when i got pregnant. eventually pumayag na lang din sila, naipaglaban naman ako ni hubby and got married. hanggang sa nakapanganak na ko, tuwang tuwa na sila sa baby and okay na kami ng in laws ko.

[aquacharly]

Don't marry 2 people who flunked Birth Control. 
Dito pa! Getting harder & harder to get an annulment.

This is a good trial period.
See if the guy will make a good father.
See if it is really Love and not Lust that bind them.
It is unfair for a woman to force the issue of marriage on a guy with her unplanned pregnancy.

Iba na ang panahon --  hindi na tinatago ang mga out-of-wedlock pregnancies.

[k_heart]

Ang alam ko 21 years old and below lang  sa mga guys  ang need pa ng parental consent pag
magpapakasal.
22 na sya, if gusto nya talaga, he can marry the girl.

[Dyewel]

Sa pagkakatanda ko, 25min age na di na need parental consent.
Anyway, pregnancy should not be the reason to get married. Ikaw na rin may sabi na hindi pa ready [textspeak!] guy i believe that is enough reason not to get married. Bka pagkakasal ninyo eh mag-asal binata pa rin yon because he felt na napikot sya?

[k_heart]

Ah 25 pala. he he! thanks sis!
21 years old yung hubby ko ng magpakasal kami, and ayun, ok naman, 9 years married na kami.
may mga guys also na matured, kasama na yung hubby ko obviously. When he decided that
he wants to marry me, yun na yun. he just told his parents na magpapakasal kami. Although
ayun, nagpasign pa sya ng parental consent, which was really funny to me during that time.
And yes, financially able naman kaming 2. sagot nya ang buong kasal syempre, he doesnt need
any support from his parents.
May mga guys also na matured naman for their age at meron na,ang kahit nasa line of 3 na ay immature pa,din.

So kung gusto talaga ng lalake pakasalan si girl, walang makakapigil sa kanya unless he wants na
way out kunwari yung mother nya.
Although yung mom nya was so happy that her son is marrying me so that makes a great difference.
Best decision of his life if i may say so. ha!ha!

[angeleigh]

Bakit daw ayaw ng mom? Siguro tanungin rin niya ang reason ng mom niya.

[CaraLuisa]

Well una kasi gusto sana ng mom daw na financially stable na yung guy. medyo di rin ganun kagusto niya yung girl pati. Also, only boy na bunso kasi, so baka the mom is still holding on sa fact na baby niya yung guy.

Anyway, Update. Maguusap daw sila. the guy and his mom. nung isang araw pa actually sana, kaso bumagyo at bumaha so di natuloy. Ewan ko lang today.
Sana makapagusap sila and maka reach ng compromise or understanding.

Thanks sa input guys!
Carry on lang sa mga gusto magshare ng same experiences..