sexless marriage

[michimac03]

Hello sisses, ask ko lang, ok naman kami ng asawa ko, kaya lang pakiramdam ko magkapatid na lang ang turingan namin...we are young couple with 1year old son pero wala na kaming intimacy in all levels..we are jusr parents, not lovers.we do not cuddld up or even kiss..sex is already out of the story, ang dahilan niya ako daw ayaw dahil we might got pregnant, maliit pa baby namin..madalas ako ang nag iinitiate pero na we-weirdan na din ako dahil wala talaga e.we can go on for months without it.
Iniisipnko lang na need ba talaga ang lovemaking, kasi okay naman kami, kaya lang parang platonic na lang talaga relationship namin.minsan iniisip ko in the long run, relationship naman talaga ang important dahil ang sex nagdidiminish as we age, kaya lang, on the other hand, ang aga naman, we are both below 35!
Just need your two cents on this. Thanks!

[k_heart]

Oo naman sis. Yes, both of you are too young and marriage is too young para magsawa agad.
Hindi sya usual sis. 9 years married na kami ni hubby, with 3kids and in our 30's pero the
flame is still the same kagaya ng first year of marriage namin. ako minsan,nagtutulugntulugan na
lang sa hubby ko dahil ako napapagod sa kanya.he!he
tell your hubby na pwede ka naman di mabuntis sa dami ng ways not to be pregnant at meron ding
natural way. yung hubby momang may something. talk and probe further.

[ashara]

ganun na din si hubby sakin last april lang kami kinasal then preggy ako ngayon iniisp ko kaya kalmante
na siya kasi kasal na kami...or kaya wala ng mga kiss hug kasi preggy nga ako..
para kasing nawala yung spark nung ngpakasal na kami.
medjo pabaya na siya
ok lang sa kanya di kami tabi matulog.
as in magkaiba kami ng kwarto minsan

kahit sabay matulog di an din.

minsan naiisip ko baka buntis lang ako kaya ako ngiisip ng kung ano ano kaso iba yung ramdam ko eh.

minsan gigimik aabutin ng 2am nung di pa kami kasal di naman siya ganun iniisp niya ko ngayon
ibang iba na

[cloudzy_09]

Sexless marriage ni kiss or cuddle as in wala?! Parang hindi ko ata kaya ito. i think you need to talk to your husband about this kasi this is a big problem wala intimacy tapos bago couple lang kayo baka may problem siya. May time din kami ni hubby na wala siya gana sa sex usually pag may problem siya sa business namin hindi niya lang sinasabi sa akin and pag buntis ako kasi yucky daw pero we always cuddle and kiss. Before kayo mag ka anak and mag pakasal problema na rin ba ninyo ito? It will also help kung mag aayos ka and wear something sexy.

[michimac03]

^ nope sis, it was not a problem for us, although we are really not sexual people, saka hindi kami sweet and PDA...nung TTC kami, timed at planned yung mga contacts namin, pero napansin ko lang ng after the baby, padalang ng padalang hanggang sa wala na talaga..the most we do it is once or twice a month..i opened up the topic to him, he is trying naman to be sweet, pero hindi talaga e...all i know is that we are good partners, perfect even to almost all aspects...except for this one...kaya nga iniisip ko, masyado lang ba akong nag-iisip, o normal lang talaga na ganito kami at tanggapin ko na lang?!mejo lito lang talaga ako e...

[marose17]

It's not normal.  Definitely, may some other reason than takot na masundan agad si baby.  I'll be worried if I were you.

But you know, this situation is not uncommon pala.  I know of a few other couples who are in this kind of set-up.

[michimac03]

^sis marose, talaga?so hindi naman pla kami abnormal, hehe...minsan iniisip ko nga dahil sa matagal na kami, 10 years sis kasi kami mag-bf/gf tapos 2 year married, so equals to 12 years na din kami magkarelasyon, and we basically grew up together kaya siguro platonic talaga relationship namin..nahihiya naman ako na ako lagi nag-iinitiate di ba?! kasi kung hindi naman, wala talaga.

[marose17]

^ It is not uncommon but definitely it is not normal.  The fact na nahihiya kang mag-initiate ng sex is to me, very telling.  It's very rare na ang guy ang humihindi sa sex.  And as you said, you don't even cuddle and kiss.  It's very strange.  You're husband and wife, not platonic friends.

[princessrio]

michimac - my husband and i have been married for 2 years. we've been bf/gf for 12 years. we also have a 1-year-old son. i'm 34 and he's 36. so, basically, laki ng similarities natin. our difference is that we make love almost everyday. we don't sleep without saying i love you and a kiss. pag tulog, magkayakap kami. co-sleep pa namin nyan si batuta. we give yung biglaang embrace and a smack out of nowhere. bago umalis si hubby for work at pagdating nya sa bahay, may kiss. we are also afraid na masundan si bulilit pero kaya nga may pills, condom and injectables di ba? to protect yourselves.

for me, hindi pa dapat platonic yan. you just got married. you took your relationship to a higher level. you became husband and wife.

after you've talked, ano nangyari? was the sex good or just done because kailangan? mararamdaman mo naman yun e. try mo magpagnda sa pagtulog, magpabango, magsuot ng sexy. give him a massage. pag wa epek, i guess your husband has other reasons.

[Girltalker2]

I think sex is essential in a marriage kasi that makes the couple closer. 

Sa pagkakaalam ko rin, hindi nabubuhay ang normal na lalaki ng walang sex.

Just to share my experience, pareho din pala tayo sisses long engagement din kami. Pero we never had pre marital sex, so when we got married, dun lang kami naging very intimate.  However, it was not long before I felt something different.  Nawala nga din ang intimacy samin kasi nabuntis agad ako, and ang reason nya baka mapano ang bata.  Then after I gave birth, madalang narin until I discovered he was having an affair pala. 

At that time, I also learned na hindi lang ako ang madalang ang sexlife with hubby.  Nagconfide din kasi sakin ang friend ko na sila once in 3-6 months.  Then later found out, may kalaguyo din hubby nya.  I am not saying guaranteed na may iba si hubby, but there must be some compelling reason why.  And the only other reasons I can think of now is - may problem si hubby on intimacy or libido or getting it up, or gay sya or age nanga (I am not sure what age sila nagsasawa pero sa pagkakaalam ko it sure is beyond 60yo).

[girl24]

ako din sis, just to give my 2 cents as you said. this is based on my personal experience also. like sis girltaker 2, dumalang ang intimacy nung nabuntis ako then as years go by sumabay na rin ang decline until ang most is like you 1 to 2 a month lang. understanding pa ako at baka kako pagod, masama pakiramdam, etc, etc, etc. until the time nahuli ko na siya. kaya pala madalang na sa akin eh me ibang pumupuno sa pangangailangan niya. your case maybe be different from mine, i'm just sharing...

[hyeuna03]

Hi sis michimac03, ang bababata nyo pa para mawala yung burning desire for each other 

I can't believe that you actually live this way and accept it. Alam mo tayong mga babae, we want the vows that once meant something to our husbands to still mean something. We want them to cherish us as much as we cherish them..

Ako kasi, I am tired at the end of a day too like my husband, I have a sickly feeling too...I have to get up in the am too..I have hormonal issues too...BUT I want the one thing that I share with him that I don't share with another human being to still be present and intimate. I NEED to know that I am still loved, cherished, and attractive to the one person I save myself for everyday..I need that spark to still be there. I strongly believe that when the physical connect is there, the emotional connect is sure to follow...

So girl, even if you say that ok kayo ni hubby mo, something very essential is missing in your marriage. and that's the one thing that makes you and your hubby NOT okay. 

[michimac03]

thanks mga sisses ha at least kahit papaano, naliliwanagan na ako =) siguro kailangang tumiming na ako at makipag usap na ng masinsinan...we have to settle this for once kasi kahit ako, parang nagtataka na...im not sure though kung may babae siya kasi it was not a problem even before we got married, pero there can always be a first time, right?! we just need to settle everything once and for all, bago pa mahuli ang lahat...

[euwie]

My in-laws are in their 70s and i guarantee you, active pa rin sila. How do i know this? When they visited us in dubai, MIL asked my husband if she could find some ky jelly in the pharmacy. It was a big mistake for him to ask her why, kasi MIL bluntly answered "para sa sex". Oh mama mia!

IMO, i think hindi normal yan. To think na hindi pa naman kayo ganon katagal talaga magkasama tapos wala na kagad intimacy. Naiisip ko rin to minsan na baka kapag manganak na ako, mapunta na lahat ng atensyon ko sa bata at maging good mother na lang ako, and less of a good wife. Tayo kasing mga babae i think we can live without sex but ang lalaki, hindi siguro... wag ka na mahiya sis. Seduce your husband hehe. Tignan ko lang kung hindi sya ganahan 

[babykat]

Kami wala pang baby pero very seldom na lang din.  Once or twice a month, minsan wala.  Usually kasi pagod, and if we do it, parang mabilisan lang.  Walang masyadong foreplay kaya nasasaktan ako.  Madalas sya kay mariang palad before matulog.  Iniisip ko factor ang pagtaba ko kasi gusto nya payat lang.  I'm also older than him. 

Di talaga sya affectionate; rarely says I love you, and seldom kisses me.  Ako pa kailangan magkiss sa kanya and di sya masyado mapagkiss sa lips.  Minsan natatakot ako na may iba, although, di naman ako kinukutuban sa kanya.

[kaiz]

na experience ko din yang parang sexless marriage. sometimes id wonder what's wrong with me eh nasa late 20's pa lang kami nung nagstart ang problem.

[Girltalker2]

When this happened to me before, at na pinpoint ko nga ang problema (he is having an affair), I also struggled with my own self esteem.  And eventually, after so many years of praying, nakawala din ako and was able to move on.  Yung sa experience ko naman kasi, nangyari kasi may iba sya and there is no way we can sort it out pa. Now that I am single again, alam ko na what to watch out for in a partner and that's why I want someone who is romantic and expressive para open ang communication ninyong mag-asawa.  Kaya sa mga singles na naghahanap pa ng partner, I have always advised them to look for someone who is compatible with them in terms of being romantic, kasi minsan ma f frustrate ka lang kung hindi ganun ang partner and it can only lead to lack of fulfillment sa relationship ninyo and if this happens, it is bound to fail.

Sa mga ibang sisses naman natin dyan na married pa, make communicaton open for both of you.  Look for solutions like counseling, marriage encounter, bonding ninyong mag-asawa lang etc. Try to salvage your marriage by having more frequent intimacy kasi it really brings closeness and a unique bond to the couple.

[hayne22]

25 na ako, 26 si hubby mag 3 yrs na kaming kasal, 4 yrs kami mag bf/gf so 7yrs na kami together..and we do premarital sex din kase dumating baby namin ng mag bf/gf kami..sa buong pag sasama namin intimate pa rin kami..although hindi kami everyday nag love-making siguro mga 3x a week lang still may kilig pa rin and we always kiss and hug, holding hands pa rin kami sa mall mga tipong ganon..minsan magkasunod ang make love pag off namin or nag quickie lang..heheh.we stay w/ my parents and andun yung mga brothers ko although may sarili kaming kwarto minsan syempre pag during the day nakakahiya baka marinig kami hahah.

try to talk to your husband, hindi ka dapat mahiya sa kanya kung mag aaya ka..mag asawa na kayo e..try mo minsan mag suot ng sando na manipis tapos wala kang bra  tignan lang naten kung d maglaway sayo yang asawa mo..heheh. kung wa epek pa rin naku sis..magtakataka ka na..

[rochelle1025]

Not normal. Trust me. I experienced that myself. In our 7 years of marriage, we must have done the deed less than 20 times. That's one of the issues we had kaya I ended up leaving him. 

[nageinna]

agree din ako na somehow not normal din. in my case naman, long engagement din kami, been together for 8years and 1year married palang. we never engaged sa pre marital sex din nung 8years namin, after we got married lang. and i got pregnant after 7months of being married. and even now that i am 6mos. pregnant, si hubby mataas parin libido. and i admit ako madalas yung tumatanggi kasi super uncomfortable talaga for me eh. minsan naaawa ako kay hubby kasi most of the time tumatanggi ako so nag gigive in nalang din ako mga 1-2x a month siguro kami nakakapag deed. iniisip ko nalang how thankful ako kay hubby, kasi despite ng pagkakaron ko ng low self confidence now that i'm pregnant, i feel ugly and "madumi" palagi, na aappreciate parin ako ni hubby physically.

kamusta na kayo ni hubby now TS? nag improve na ba relationship niyo sexually?