Author Topic: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?  (Read 3902 times)

Kady_14

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Hi sisters,

here's my dilemma. I have a new maid. Nun July 9 lang siya dumating sa akin, bale 3-4 days delayed pa siya nun dahil sa madaming echos dahilan. We got her thru our kumpare, who knows her older sister. Since this sister knows that we are in dire need of a helper, she volunteered her sister in the provice (my new helper).

I sent her 3500 pamasahe and paid roughly 300 for the padala fee. Yung ate ng helper ko is mahadera and pakialamera. She is a housewife and her husband is a construction worker near our kumpare's house. This sister decides for us and texts me, ex. when we were not home she texted me na "Dito ako matutulog sa bahay nyo, sasamahan ko yung kapatid ko" also another text message "Gusto ko kayo makausap mag asawa paguwi nyo" Which of course irked me and my husband. She also feels close kami and one time came to ur place with a panungkit na and sabi pahingi daw ng mangga. Me magagawa pa ba ako, tapos my husband nagalit kasi halos iharvest daw lahat. Sobrang garapal.

When we were out, I called my maid and ang bungad nya sa akin eh nawawala ang mga avocados namin. So biniro siya ng asawa ko. Sabi nya tanungin mo ang ate mo since siya lang naman ang ibang tao jan with you, baka siya ang kumuha. Her ate texted me na sa amin matutulog pero di ko nireplyan kasi nga nainis ako. Kasi ngdecide na siya.

Ayun na ang start, galit na galit si Ate nya and wants her sister to leave our household, kung ano ano pang sinabi sa amin mag-asawa (squatter). We have agreed na lang to let go and basta mabalik nila yung perang nilabas ko. Wala naman problema kaso kasi parang ang dating eh planado talaga nila na makaluwas lang tong maid ko. Kasi me mga ngsabi na yung sister daw was saying na madali naman ipasok sa factory etc. etc....

I don't know what to do, my maid is still with me. ayoko 'to I-let go na lang as is na parang dinugasan lang nila kami. What can you advise I do? Sabi ibabalik daw yung pera by Sat evening and aalis na. My husband even asked my to talk to her baka ngbago na ng isip. My maid kasi sabi nya aalis na lang daw siya kasi kilala nya ang ate nya and ayaw siya tigilan. And she's already excited kasi sabi daw ng Mama nila na ngayon nasa Manila na siya she must visit all their relatives here at ang pupuntahan atang una eh sa Pampanga. Me magbibirthday daw kasing tita dun.

Nakakalungkot na me mga taong manloloko. What do you think should I do? Yung ate mayabang pa talaga, ibabalik daw nya yung pinamasahe ko pero hanggang ngayon wala mabigay.

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2013, 01:41:14 pm »
Don't let your maid go until the sister pays you the pamasahe. Kung hindi talaga mabayaran, pag nag one month siya sa August 9, paalisin mo na pero huwag mong bigyan ng sweldo. 'Yun kamo ang bayad niya sa pamasahe niya.

momentum

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2013, 02:35:48 pm »
^ I agree with sis ohcmon..if she cannot pay the pamasahe, then let her work for you for a month na walang bayad and dapat hindi na pwede tumapak sa pamamahay niyo ang ate niya. make it crystal clear to them both. kung pwede nga eh i-ban yung ate na yun from entering the village, since kung ano2x rin naman pinagsasabi sa inyong mag-asawa

sis in the first place palang na nag-aasta na yung ate niya na ganun, you should have put her in her place. yung mga taong ganyan, kung hindi mo ilagay sila sa lugar, sadly and more often than not, they will push and push you around until kaya nila. she thinks ok lang sa inyong mag-asawa na diktahan ng ganun, kaya go lang ng go siya. but if you talked to her that first time palang that she texted and said she will sleep in your house, sana you texted her back in a respectful but assertive tone na I'm sorry but part of your house rules is no sleep overs ng mga relatives ng maid niyo..and tell her na what if siya yung amo at gawin sa kanya yun, ok lang ba sa kanya na diktahan ng ganun? tsaka pwede mo naman pagsabihan din yung maid niyo na sabihan ate niya na hindi siya pwedeng umasta ng ganun, amo ka.. imean, saan ka makakarinig ng ganyang set-up? kapal muka talaga niya  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

but too late na sis..main issue na ngayon is the money..ewan ko sis ha, kasi kahit ako ang hirap pigaan ng pera yang mga yan..kaya usually idadaan nalang sa work with no pay. nabayaran mo na ba sweldo niya nung 15th? if oo, then tama nga na this end of the month wala siya bayad, then until august 15th dapat..magkano pala sweldo niya?
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 02:39:08 pm by momentum »
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lovely_carrot

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2013, 03:02:00 pm »
if you ask me, i'd advise you to just let the maid go. why? kasi additional stress pa yung nasa bahay nyo sya, her mahaderang sister has access to your house and who knows baka kung ano pang mawala sa bahay nyo bilang ganti nila sa inyong mag-asawa.

while i agree na yung 3500 ay hindi basta basta pwedeng pakawalan, i'm sure pwede nyo pa kitain yun ulit..

i'd rather lose money than lose my peace of mind while they are around..

hope this helps..
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ceejhei

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2013, 03:36:32 pm »
hello sis, it happened to me pati sa brother ko. ginamit lang ang pamasahe ko para makapunta dito sa maynila. nakakainis yang ate niyang maid mo, masyadong mahadera.

what you can do? take her to baranggay, magkasundo kayo. if she will leave then you have to send her again sa province kung san mo siya kinuha. ano yun ganun ganun nalang? gagamitin tayong mga employers just to be here in manila?
mauutak na yang mga maid, kailangan eh utakan din sila.

puwedeng ang gawin nila is to look for a new employer who will shell out the money you gave them, tapos yun ang ibabayad sayo. then ganun ulit gagawin sa ibang amo.
send her back where she came from. tignan ko lang kung makapunta pa ulit yan dito with their own expenses. nakakagigil lang.

Kady_14

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2013, 08:58:40 pm »
Since mayabang ang ate nya na ibabalik na lang daw nila yung pinamasahe ko even yung padala charge. My husband agreed to it na lang para tapos na, hindi big deal yung pera sa amin, more on yung perwisyo na ginawa nila sa amin and yung pagsira ng tiwala.

Yung ate nya, bago pa ako magpadala ng pamasahe, nag one on one talk kami, sinamahan pa siya ng kumpare namin dito sa bahay and kinausap ko siya ng maayos re padala ng pamasahe and sabi ko dala na ako. Sabi nya naiintindihan daw nya ako na "dala" na nga ako sa kakapadala sa mga prev maids. ibahin ko daw siya and sinisigurado nya na dadating yung kapatid nya (dumating nga, pero yun pala lalayasan din ako)

So far the ate naman di na ngpupunta dito, not that i know of. (we have cctv) the ate, lives in the same village unfortunately, the construction business owner has a makeshift barracks where her family is housed bilang dun employed ang asawa nya na construction boy. I'd rather avoid awkward confrontations kaya yung first time na ngfeelingera sya na pumunta sa bahay namin with dalang panungkit, hinayaan ko na. Pero nakarinig sya sa asawa ko kasi nga halos i-harvest daw kasi lahat yung mangga namin.

Yung text nya na dito sya matutulog di ko talaga nagustuhan and we were not in Manila then, right then and there i told my husband when i got her message. Sabi ko hindi ko sasagutin 'to. Sabi nya Oo wag na. Nasa party kami and it was a happy event, ayoko sirain yung happy mood. Pero we found out the following day na dun pa din siya natulog. Meron na ako idea na "baka" matutulog si ate nya dito kasi sinabi naman nya sa akin dati na if matakot kapatid nya sasamahan nya. Pero before we left, we asked our maid if ok lang siya, she said yes and she made it clear na hindi na nya need ng kasama (alam nya na secured siya dito sa loob) plus i have 5 dogs waiting to pounce outside, i have cctv. she has a cell and we have a landline that can call us anytime anywhere. She was made aware of all those. My husband even told her na "Oh ok ka naman pala, wag mo na papuntahin si Ate mo dito ha.", "Oo daw" Pero si Ate pumunta pa din, sabi nya sa amin nagulat na lang sya na andito na yung ate nya. hindi nya daw pinapunta. Dahilan naman ni maid ko sabi daw ng ate nya eh pinapunta siya ng husband nya at sabi samahan yung kapatid nya. This irritated my husband. sabi nya bakit si bayaw mo ba mgpapasahod syo? our house, our rules. Bakit si bayaw and ate mo ang ngdedecide para sa amin at sa bahay namin??

Her pay is 3k. But with the job that she's doing dapat 'to 2k lang. kasi di naman marunong pa. i do half of her job kasi if not naku walang matatapos. Hindi ko pa sinuswelduhan, our kumpare said wag ko swelduhan and even my husband agrees na ganun. Kasi nga parang set up lang. She knows (my maid) that she will not get anything from me, sabi ko nga sa kanya madaliin nya na si ate nya to return the money so she could go. Kasi kita ko naman na she already wants to leave din.

@lovely_carrot - i so agree with you, i just want to let it all go with all the stress im having now. Sabi ng asawa ko wag ako mag-isip. Sabi ko paano? I see her daily and nakakagalit na isipin na she has plans na ano gagawin pag alis, (aattend ng bday sa Pampanga, meet other Manila-based rellies) at our expense.i told my husband, i called him cause he's in Cebu for three days, i told him your suggestion. Pero di siya payag. My husband is a good man, pero nagalit talaga siya sa paghamak sa amin nun ate. Kasi madami siya sinabi sa amin, like akala daw nya mabait kami, pinagkatiwala nya daw kapatid nya sa amin (as if pinahamak namin kapatid nya) that she comes here (when we are not home) and help her with her chores na di na nga ngpapabayad. Nagkasagutan sila ng asawa ko. Sabi ng asawa ko eh hindi naman namin inask yun syo ah, and ikaw me gusto nun. Plus why come here kapag wala kami?

Eto namang maid ko, parang wala lang. Her mind set is mabalik yung bayad and she's free to pasyal sa Manila. hehe... Grabe parang walang perwisyong dinulot. I don't think I can send her back to the province na, how can I be sure na babalik sya dun. unless ako mismo maghatid sa kanya. I have something cooking up my sleeve. I'll let you know how it goes it the end. Thank you all for reading my drama and sharing your POVs. I really appreciate it. Right now i'm waiting for Saturday kung mababalik ba yung pera muna.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 09:08:35 pm by Kady_14 »

momentum

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2013, 07:30:54 am »
^ hmm may point ka din sis..kung hindi pala marunong sa work, then ok na i-let go kahit wala pang Aug.15th..kasi sakit lang talaga sa ulo..kala ko kasi ok siya mag-work hehe..oo nga sis if mabalik niya na yung pera sa Saturday, then paalisin mo na..how I wish magawa nga yun..for sure i-aadvance nila yun sa next amo niya..para mabayad sayo..good luck sis and hope matapos na itong drama na nararanasan mo  :)
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iammechelle

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2013, 04:52:57 pm »
I would definitely let go of that Katulong. Pare-pareho yang sila. Pumunta lang dito at nagpapalibre sa pamasahe ng mga employers. Sinasamantala kasi nila yung vulnerability natin na kailangang-kailangan ngatin ng kasama sa bahay. The last time, may nag-aapply sa akin. Mag-ina. Yung nanay ang nagsasalita ng para sa anak niya. Di pa man ako nakakasalita ng mga conditions ko, sila na itong request ng request na parang nag-mamanipulate ng usapa. Ako kasi, gusto ko na sa umpisa pa lang alam na nila kung saan sila lulugar sa akin. I made them feel na sa interview pa lang, di nila ako kakayanin. Que se hodang may masabi sila sa akin, pero ayaw ko kasi na didiktahan ako. Yung sa umpisa pa lang na ganyan na ang iniasal sa akin nung ate, naku makakatikim yan! I am not war freak naman, pero ayaw ko na aabusuhin nila ako.

When it comes dun sa pinamasahe mo sa kanya, dapat umpisa pa lang may kondisyones na kailangan tumagala ka sa akin ng 6 months or 1 year para malibre na itong pamasahe mo. Kapag wala kang ganuong arrangement, gagatasan ka lang talaga nila. Or have it deducted sana sa unang sweldo nya. Eh kung paaalisin mo na rin lang, wag mo na ngang suwelduhan. Kakainis yang mga katulong na ganyan, palibhasa, di nga sila nag-aral.

Keep us updated sis! Good luck and God bless
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m_lim

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2013, 07:54:42 pm »
let her go ASAP!

kung may inis na namamagitan sa inyo, baka kung ano pa gawin niyan. nakawan or lasunin pa kayo.

pagpapalit mo ba yung 3,500 pesos doon?!

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2013, 02:52:20 am »
Don't let your maid go until the sister pays you the pamasahe. Kung hindi talaga mabayaran, pag nag one month siya sa August 9, paalisin mo na pero huwag mong bigyan ng sweldo. 'Yun kamo ang bayad niya sa pamasahe niya.

^ Yes, I agree - mag general cleaning ka para masullit mo istorbo sa yo -- IF you live in a subdivision where you can enforce No Entry sa Ate nya & you can be certain too the guards will not allow your maid to meet up with anyone at the village gates or to exit without your okay.
If those can't be enforced -- let her go.  Manakawan ka lang.

Next time, do not be chummy chummy with relatives of your maid.  Aabusuhin ka lang.



momentum

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2013, 07:14:46 am »
Sis when I get maids from the province and pinapamasahian ko, I make sure to clarify to them sa interview palang na salary deduction yung pamasahe, minsan I make it 2-3 gives, and tell them if tumagal ka ng 5-6 months, then I will give you back the pamasahe..parang pondo. Pumapayag naman sila eh...and kapag di sila tumagal ng 3 months, at least bayad sila sa pamasahe na nila and I won't feel na nautakan ako when it comes to that. maybe you can do this the next time you will get someone na papamasahian mo from the province
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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2013, 08:24:24 am »
Hayyyyy naku ganyan na ganyan din nangyari sa akin gumastos ako ng 10k+ para sa pamasahe at advance ng 2 maid. 1 week pa lang yung isa yaya ayaw na mag work at bastos pa grabe ako pag salitaan. Kaya kahit na malaki utang niya pinalayas ko. The worst part is ayaw umalis gusto niya sa bahay ko lang siya kung hindi ko pa tinawag yung guard hindi pa aalis.

Ipanaalis ko na kasi hindi worth yung stress sa akin buntis kasi ako since nung dumating yung maid ko nag hihigh blood ako at malaki nagagastos ko sa pag sho shopping.

Kung gusto mo e keep muna yung maid mo para maka bayad bantayan mo make sure na mag tra trabaho ng maayos atleast ma sulit mo yung stress at bayad mo sa kanila dont do her work kasi baka sinasadya niya na mabagal at hindi maayos yung work kasi alam niya na ikaw din ang gagawa. Ipa brgy mo sila pag ginugulonkanpa din

Kady_14

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2013, 01:51:02 pm »
Update:

Maid left last night, sinundo ng ate nya. Nagulat kami kasi sabi ng maid ko di naman siya tinetext kung tuloy ba. Di ko nilabas pero my maid said "nila" so baka kasama din ang husband ng ate. Paid back my money. I gave P500 to maid (sabi ng kumare ko bakit pa?) sa akin kasi para kahit paano she has money and nag work din naman siya kahit paano sa bahay. I also got her basic toiletries yesterday when I did the groceries (sanitary pads, soap, shampoo, q-tips etc) I wished her goodluck and sabi ko sana nga makapag aral siya like what her aunts promised her. Nag thank you naman siya and left na.

As per my kumare who lives near the barracks mayabang pa daw yung ate and kung ano ano ang sinasabing bad about us. Mga kasinungalingan pero kinocorrect nya kasi alam naman nya na di kami madamot. hehe sabi ko yaan na nya. Bahala na si Lord sa kanila kung ano mang imbentong kwento gawin nila.

Lesson learned talaga ako dito. Next time i'll do the iawas na agad yung pinamasahe in 2-3mos stay. Kaya ayan wala na naman akong inday. hehe. thanks sisters for giving advices, na appreciate ko kasi wala naman akong sister to give ate advices.

Thank you talaga sa mga sumagot!

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2013, 12:59:28 pm »
nangyari sa akin yan. just this year. yung yaya ko eh biglang umalis ng walang paalam kaya out of desperation, kahit wala masyado screening, nagpadala ako ng pera sa province para sa yaya at maid na ni-refer ng kakilala ng kakilala ng in laws ko. big mistake kasi after 2 days, eh parang pumoporma na hindi daw sila happy sa desisyon nila na lumuwas sa manila kaya gusto umalis. ang siste, wala daw sila pambayad ng pamasahe nila. parang ang style eh gusto lang talaga makalibre ng papunta dito. ako, parang sumuko na ako sa ginastos naming at gusto ko lang sila na umalis kesa may gawin pa na di maganda sa bahay. eh yung husband ko, nainis talaga. ang ginawa nya, nag-leave sya sa work ng 2 days at nakatutok sya sa maid at yaya. pinalinis buong bahay at pinalaba lahat ng gamit. napagod yung dalawa. nagpasundo na lang sa kung kaninong kamaganak nila at inutang ang pambayad sa amin. it sounds mean pero in a way, ok na rin na ganun ang nangyari sa kanila.
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Kady_14

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2013, 11:53:08 am »
Nakakainis na me mga taong ganun noh, yung ex maid ko binalita sa akin ng kumare ko na after leaving here eh pinag-apply sa factory nun ate nya (just like they planned) pero di daw pumasa. So ayun bale taga hatid and sundo siya ng pamangkin nya sa school. Bahala na si Lord sa kanila.

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #15 on: August 04, 2013, 10:41:38 pm »
Ang hirap talaga ng ganito noh? Maid problems have happened to us several times already pero may mga swerte din naman na ilang taon.

Pero ayon.. may case din na kakilala, pinapunta ng Manila, tapos after 2 days eh nawala. May love letter pa siya na papacheck up daw kasi masakit tiyan na. Dala niya 2k na dapat eh pamalengke.
After a while, we found that she did the same to thing to several other households but met with one na nagalit to the point na pina-barang (tama ba yung term) siya and she died :-X

Pero nadala na kami at ngayon, wala na maid hehe. I guess it's manageable since we don't have kids in the house.

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2013, 06:18:45 am »
Tell her that she can leave as long as maibalik niya yung pamasahe na ginastos mo sa kanya. If she can't then, pretend na nagbabait baitan ka sa kanya. Ask her If she can stay for another month just until you find a replacement. Then, after 1 month, with or without a replacement, palayasin mo na yan. But don't give her, her salary. I'm sure verbal lang naman yan lahat and wala naman kayong pinirmahan na whatsoever. =) Dapat talaga ngayon, maging wise na tayo. Grabe na talaga ugali ng mga yaya/helper.

nicoletta

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2013, 02:05:16 pm »
kady_14

Nakakatawa mga helpers ngayon, parang hindi kailangan ng money.  Kami rin nakailang palit na ng helper.  Hindi naman kami nagpadala ng money to get someone in the province.  We paid a purported agency na home base and lahat ng pinapadala samin wala namang intention to stay.  We haven't transferred to our new place yet, and we have 2 helpers already, so when hired 1 before, 3 na.  Imagine 2 lang kami, mas marami pa kaming helpers?  And to think we bought a small flat screen tv for that helper nga so that when we transfer, she will have something to spend her time with when she's not working.  My husband and I are both fair, so we don't understand why the maids are not staying, until we realize hindi talaga nila intention to work.  Gusto lang mag ipon and mag advance siguro (na hindi namin pinayagan) so umalis narin.
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Kady_14

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Re: Stressed and needs a sound advice re current maid, what to do?
« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2013, 05:59:13 pm »
Mahirap talaga humanap ng maid ngayon. Eto maid ko na to eh nasa ate nya and true enough after a week e na employ na sa factory. Me sumunod na sa kanya kaso ganun din,  three weeks lang and umuwi na,  Nadengue naman yung anak. Totoo naman.

 


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