Would you guys consider an Adult only affair????

[SweetheartKo]

Hi mga sis! I'm really having a hard time decisioning if I will only have an "adult only affair" for the ceremony and reception (except the kids participating with the entourage). The thing is madami sa
Family namin ang mga bata (first cousins & nieces & nephews, ages 4,9,11,13,16) pero kahit age 18 na cousins I'm really thinking twice kasi hindi naman talaga sila mag eenjoy at ma bbored lang. Ayaw ko kc na may maiingay sa ceremony at kids wondering around sa reception at nag papasaway. I think mas eenjoy pati mga guest na parents kung wala silang binabantayan.

Does anyone here had an adult only affair? Pano nyo handle yung mga relatives na may mga kids? Dun naman sa may mga kids na guest, pano nyo handle yung mga kids during the events?
Would you guys considering an adult only affair sa event nyo? Thanks!

[Chuchubells]

Sisteret SweetheartKo,

I have the same predicament :-( to start off hirap talaga pag ikaw yung last sa pasasakal este kasal sa batch ng mag pipinsan, all of my cousin are married and with kids and so goes with my friends so this is what I tried to do.

1. Spoke with my titas and the other thunderettes in our family and asked for their advice, so they are helping me tell our relatives na from my moms province na invited that they are not allowed to bring kids hehe since kami din mag provide ng transpo nila from Laguna to Manila :-)

2. When I asked  the details of my friends, I asked them for their full name and plus one, so I think they got the hint that their children are not invited, hmmm.. it would also help siguro when I told them there would be alcohol and dancing so they have to turn up hahahahah

3. There would be friends that would insist that they bring their kids, but then nasa iyo na din if you want to make an exception.. if you really want them to be there then sila yung exemption.

4. lastly another reason that I told them that kids are not allowed kasi our wedding falls on a school night hehe Monday kami.

5. If all thing fails : I've asked with our caterer with Hizons if they could provide a kids table and then I asked that they bring their Yaya with them to look after the kids plus I would find a Yaya for the reception to help look after them so that the parents could enjoy medyo mas magastos but I do want everyone to have fun.

Haiz!! hope this helps. :-)

[morrigan-erinyes]

We actually considered an adult only affair (18+) because of the same issues that you brought up.

Along the way, we thought that it's kind of impossible to actually invite the parents only especially those households who only have them to look out for their kids. It's either...

> We can't go without the kids or
> If we go, who will look out for our kids?

You can clearly tell your guests that it is an adult only affair but just be ready when parents still insist on bringing their baby/kids on your big day.

We were very fortunate that the kids and babies present were well behaved.

[charm0220]

Hi... my sister's wedding was supposedly an adult affair... she made sure n ma relay yung msg to all the guests. sa invitation pa lang nakalagay na kung ilan lang reserved seats per family.. so hint na for the adults lang.. pero may mga guests na pasaway.. some of our relatives dinala buong family.. so we had no choice kasi andun na sila.. so just be prepared sa cases na ganun kasi marami ang hindi nagbabasa ng invitations and also hindi nagrrsvp..

[det060403]

We opt to go for an adult only affair... kasi ang dami naming relatives. and we cant seem to shortlist it. So we asked for our parents help na din to talk to our relatives regarding RSVP.
I hope it works.

[pau_ann]

since the start of our wed preps, i told hubby na that ours will be an adult affair (exclude yung mga kids na kasama sa ento). its not that i don't want kids sa kasal, i explained to hubby na 1 day lang naman ito so kung pwede enjoy-enjoy muna ang mga matatanda hehe. anyway we have another handa naman so they can bring the kids there

and one more thing, kung may rsvp dapat be strict tayo. sayang din naman kasi yung aallot mo sa hindi aattend and hirap naman kung magkukulang dahil sa mga excess baggage. ang OC ko nga pagdating dito hihi.

[SweetheartKo]

Thanks ladies. Mahirap talaga mag decide lalo na if nag negative nga agad mom ko nung na banggit ko yun. Keso hindi naman daw sawayin mga pinsan ko. (Not true!) yes, one day lang naman para na ring date night sa mga couples diba? I thinking of hiring yayas or book a nearby hotel room where kids can hangout with kids friendly activities and yayas around. Pero dagdag gastos! Sabi ni fiance hindi daw dapat pinag lalaanan ng budget un. at hindi daw naman problema if wala mag babantay kids nila. Hay!

[morrigan-erinyes]

Thanks ladies. Mahirap talaga mag decide lalo na if nag negative nga agad mom ko nung na banggit ko yun. Keso hindi naman daw sawayin mga pinsan ko. (Not true!) yes, one day lang naman para na ring date night sa mga couples diba? I thinking of hiring yayas or book a nearby hotel room where kids can hangout with kids friendly activities and yayas around. Pero dagdag gastos! Sabi ni fiance hindi daw dapat pinag lalaanan ng budget un. at hindi daw naman problema if wala mag babantay kids nila. Hay!

I've actually read somewhere about "offering baby sitter to the parents" but yes it will add to your cost.

At this point, face the fact that you really can't strictly impose an adult only affair.

[j.adore]

I've attended a wedding where the invitation stated it's an Adult Affair. True enough, entourage lang yung bata.

Mine would be semi-adult affair hehe. Close kasi ako sa first cousins even if they are kids. But for 2nd cousins, hindi na their parents na lang (my Titos and Titas). For friends and workmates, wala pa naman akong ka-close with kids hehe.

Also same kasi with sis Chuchubells na Monday schoolday

[rocky]

ok yan sis, mas solemn yong friend ko ganyan din ang reason, ayaw nya ng may kids kasi usually takbo lang ng takbo yan & minsan umiiyak pa. eto ang nakakatawa nong ceremony, since may baby na yong friend ko (5 months) yon ang flower girl nila tapos nakasakay sa stroller. nong exchange of vow na iyak ng iyak yong baby. kaya nong nag-speech yong groom sa reception sabi nya pag kinasal daw yong anak nya iiyak din sya para makabawi. LOL

[SweetheartKo]

ok yan sis, mas solemn yong friend ko ganyan din ang reason, ayaw nya ng may kids kasi usually takbo lang ng takbo yan & minsan umiiyak pa. eto ang nakakatawa nong ceremony, since may baby na yong friend ko (5 months) yon ang flower girl nila tapos nakasakay sa stroller. nong exchange of vow na iyak ng iyak yong baby. kaya nong nag-speech yong groom sa reception sabi nya pag kinasal daw yong anak nya iiyak din sya para makabawi. LOL
[/quote

True! gusto ko talaga solemn at para mag enjoy lahat. I'm still sticking to this plan but I have to figure out how to deliver this ng walang mag tatampo. Thanks sis!

[chocnats]

We plan to have an adults-only affair kasi we have an evening reception and we plan to serve beer and liquor to our guests. Malamang, di mageenjoy mga bata dun hahaha

[popi]

Kami nilagay talaga naman sa invitation na adults only. 

Ayun, cooperative naman ang guests, yung mga walang mapag-iwanan ng anak, nagpaalam sa amin personally kung pwede isama ang anak.  Pinayagan naman namin, pero kabilin-bilinan na wag mag-iiyak during ceremony and reception, so ginagawa nila, nilalabas nila sa room yung kids pag maedyo nagta-tantrums na para hindi makasira sa program.  It worked out okay naman

[misuguerrero]

If wala naman kayong maooffend na family & close relatives, OK lang to have an adult only affair.

You mentioned kasi that you have a lot of kids in the family - try to talk to their parents and explain to them why you want an adult only affair (may mga iba kasi na hindi mage-gets why). Kung madami ang medyo negative ang perception sa gusto nyong mangyari, mag-set-aside ka na lang ng area sa reception where the kids can "hang-out". Keep the children busy na lang by providing activity kits (if "leaving" them in a hotel is not in your budget OR if may nega comments ka pa din na maririnig from your relatives). Tapos dun nyo ilagay sa medyo likod ng venue.

Come wedding day though, di nyo na sila masyado mapapansin (unless baby pa talaga and biglang may iiyak na lang). As a matter of fact, ang cute din nilang tingnan sa pictures.

[eleine26]

Nabanggit ko na to kay h2b, as much as possible ang makikita ko lang bata sa reception is yung part ng entourage. May suggestion ang emcee ko on how to put in your invitation na adult affair only in a subtle way. Hehe.


Ayoko kasi nung habang nagfirst dance kami then may bubble machine, eh bigla na lang may mga bata na naghahabol ng bubbles at nasa tabi na namin naglalaro di ba. Panira ng moment. Hehe. Or habang nag speech naman may bigla iiyak at nagtantrums.

Baka maging kiddie party wedding namin pag madami bata. And dagdag gastos pa yun sa food.

[blueshoppe]

ako rin ayoko ng kids na pakalat kalat sa reception/ceremony i'm so mean. nakakadagdag kasi ng stress lalo na yung ibang tao naman na nagdala ng bata parang magiging busy din dun. saka sayang din sa per head sa caterer... samen kasi isa palang may baby kaya siya flowergirl ko, yung baby boy naman sa kaofficemate ko kaya ok lang isama, yung sa h2b ko naman nakoo, lahat yung 3 niyang kapatid may mga anak tig 2 pa sa totoo lang ayoko rin iyon isama, i'm really mean kasi wala pa naman sila naiintindihan sa kasal. maski ako nung bata ako ayoko talaga sumama pero pinilit ako wala din naman akong naintindihan.. kaso kelangan ko isama mga iyon dahil baka may masabi sila sa akin. budgeted lang talaga yung wedding namin kaya mas gusto ko talaga yung mga nakatulong lang sa relasyon namin yung kasama.. pero ok na lang din basta dapat anak ng kapatid or kasama lang sa entou ang pwede.. ipupush ko talaga yan.

[angelzero]

I am also considering an adult-only affair for my wedding except for flower girls and bearers. tama yung mga sis dito, kids would just be bored. para bawas na rin sa headcount. i want to make our day as very intimate as possible. and i got a tip here as to how to explain it to the other guests na may kids: "para mas mag enjoy kayo at di na rin kayo mahirapan magbantay ng kids nyo." THANKS!

[caterpillar-girl]

What we will do is just put exactly the number of seats we have reserved for a family or couple. Ilalagay namin Mr. and Mrs. lang, walang "and family." And we will put "we have reserved 2 seats for you." When they ask if they can bring their kids, that's when we'll say yes nalang haha.

The thing is, if these people left their kids at home, malamang eat and run sila, since they'd be itching to get home to their kids anyway. I don't think makiki after party rin sila if iniisip nila mga anak nila, so might as well party with the kiddos nalang haha. But we'll still put the "we reserved 2 seats for you" in the invites. 

If you really want to state that it's an adult only affair, you can put, Adult Reception follows at etc etc etc.
Gets na yun.

[SweetheartKo]

@misuguerrero, Thanks sis! True! Cute sila sa Pics until mag tantrums sila at mag start to entertain themselves by wondering around and playing with things na hindi naman toys. hehe. Yung mga kids na part ng ento, I think is enough na to filled yung cuteness part ng event. More than that chaos na. hehe. I really thought about giving them space and providing activities for them. Pero hindi naman lahat ng venue has enough space for the party and for Kids care.

@chocnats, We are having late afternoon ceremony & evening reception din. There will be open bar too. A very good point to raise. Thanks sis!

@popi, Sana nga lahat cooperative na ilabas yung mga kids nila pag nagsimula n mang distract. Pero the truth is hindi naman nila ginagawa yun.

@blueshoppe, Ako din sis.. I tried to remember nung bata ako lagi din nila ako sinasama at madalas part ako ng entourange. Pero never ako nag enjoy. May mga pics pa nga ako na naka tulog ako sa seat ko while holding yung flower basket. Tapos hindi na ako nag ssmile kasi super bored na ako. Tapos pag reception naman I'm always looking forward to play with other kids. I remember super takbuhan at pangungulit sa ibang guest.

I dont want to look mean din pero, In the end, I think the kids will appreciate that I didn't put them in the situation where they are expected to act like a grown up and not have fun. Though, also I want to share din yung memories sa kanila. To give them a reality of being a princess in a day. So they have something to look forward to. Bahala na, Let's see kung may extra budget for them pag wala as in wala na.. deciding factor na yun.

[babbledoll]

We are considering to make our wedding an Adult affair only,. Children na invited lang yung mga kapatid ko na aged 5y/o, 9 y/o, my pinsans na 9 y/o and 11y/o , my bestfriends daughter which is 3y/o and my H2B's bestfriend's daughter 4y/o. Sa mga invites namin, lalagay namin na Adult affair only.