Still Childless

[badw33d]

this subject is very common in Hong Kong ... i don't know now but they are more leaning to have pets than baby/ies. I guess is the expense and flexibility issue?

[j.adore]

It's mostly that but more people are realizing they actually have a choice (noon forced to marry tapos make sons).

I heard a priest's sermon saying it's wrong to get married but have dogs or cats instead of children. Lol

Call it paranoid but the state of the world we live in is not something I'd want to raise a child in (environmental problems, unstable economy, conflicts between groups and countries, cultural revolution due to technology, etc)

[badw33d]

^that priest is drunk hahaha. but what's his point? oh maybe the "go and multiply" part.
I think the world has always been unstable, and i agree with that, but its part of the change, though one of the big difference before was, there's no such thing as internet and the unstable part was not seen on the other side of the fence.

but I think this is more of a personal choice.

to TS: Yeah i have friends and colleagues whom are married but choose not to have kids. They have a highly decorated aquarium and dogs :-). And it's their personal choice based from calculating expenses and movability or flexibility of life.

[grrrlscout]

^ I'm happy na hindi lang pala kami ang nagdecide ng ganito, na marami na rin palang nag coconsider ng mga ganitong bagay. 

[badw33d]

^yeah this is getting very common nowadays. so don't you worry. :-)

[Bagluvah]

Us, we've been married for 10 years, together for 16. Still no kids and will not happen anymore. Happy na kami 2 lang

[junetwentythree]

this subject is very common in Hong Kong ... i don't know now but they are more leaning to have pets than baby/ies. I guess is the expense and flexibility issue?

Heard this is the case in Japan as well.

Good! It'll help conserve the worlds' resources. We've already done enough damage. The Philippines alone is contributing to the overpopulation.

My partner and I don't want children. I used to think that I'd want some but as I got older, I realized it's just impractical in today's world. I don't need a legacy to hand down to a younger generation... we all fade away eventually. I also don't believe that a woman's worth is measured by her becoming a mother. And I'll be damned if I'm told otherwise.

Obviously those who choose to have children, fine, by all means. My best friend has 2 lovely little girls, and my sister has 2 fine young gents she's raised on her own.

I just finished watching the series "House of Cards" on Netflix and there's a part there where Claire Underwood has a trite discussion with Hannah Conway... Claire was asked by Hannah if she regrets NOT having children to which Claire responds... do you regret HAVING children? MAJESTIC.

[lilyscapes]

after my husband and i got married, we planned not to have a baby muna. but after a year nagka-baby din kami, i love my son and i love being a mother. ngayon ko lang na realize that i'm capable of loving someone unconditionally, sa anak ko lang na-feel yun.

but as a loving mother, my struggle now is how to raise my kid in this corrupted world. with what's happening now - modernized culture, conflicts of religions, internet & media... i don't know how to raise him in good values. even miley's twerking bothers me. lol. maybe this will be my lifetime worry as a mother, so i really understand some points raised here.

kudos to all childless couples who can tolerate our judgmental society. we just need to respect each others choices.

[badw33d]

^^ its actually a choice and a situation at the same time. Some can't have kids but they want it badly ... some can have kids and yes don't want one. and by the choice we make, we always give the positive reason on top of everything. The important thing? happiness, no matter what the result, no matter what the outcome, as long as you and your partner are happy, then it's good.

^ living in a corrupt world didn't happen yesterday, if we believe in the bible, corruption has been happening during Jesus' time (new testament), even way before his time (old Testament).

If not from the bible... then just as people ... the world has been corrupted. It's a matter now of how to adjust and make this better for us and the young ones.

[mooncake and leaves]

Children are not in the cards for me, either. I toyed with the idea of having kids before especially when I would worry about...who will my stuff go to when I'm gone 😁 But ultimately, I really don't want to have kids. I like kids, don't get me wrong. I love babies because babies are cute and awesome. But they don't stay babies. They become people and I just can't commit to the people part.

I'm sure having children is a wonderful, rewarding experience. I think we all just have different ideas of what it means to have a full life and different ideas of what unconditional love is. But all the best to all of us.

[kvandenhaak]

Choice ng mag-asawa kung gusto nila mag-anak or hindi. No one has the right to question why, bakit, anong dahilan, hindi tama at kung [textspeak!]-ano pa. I have a child myself and yes, it is very rewarding. However, it's not for everyone.

[argento]

maganda ang bata hanggang 6yrs old lang 

[drag0nfly]

Ayokong magsalita ng tapos pero parang leaning towards this na yata kami ng asawa ko... although we still want kahit isa lang.  Ah ewan.  Bahala na si God.

I find myself thinking of kids a lot this past year.  Siguro kasi age is creeping up on me and I feel so pressured by relatives.  Andami ko pa namang gustong gawin pa sa buhay - study, travel etc.  Minsan I feel bad/guilty kasi parang mas inuuna ko pa yung gusto kong gawin to develop myself rather than have a kid, lalo na pag nag-co-comment ang mga tita tita na dapat daw by this time may anak na.  Pero at the same time, naisip ko din na dapat ko bang i-sacrifice yung mga pangarap ko para lang magkaanak. 

Naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ni Carrie sa isang episode ng Sex and the City:

It means that if I really wanted to have a baby,
wouldn't I have tried to have one by now?
I wanted to be a writer, I made myself a writer.
I want a ridiculously extravagant pair of shoes,
I find a way to buy them.

[izabelle]

^ If you want to have a child, be sure na you want one because you really want to have one and you can afford to have one. and not only because of pressure and sadyang naging part na ng "culture" natin dito sa Pinas.

A lot of people will really put pressure on you kasi hindi naman sila ang gagastos at magpapalaki ng bata hehe.

Maraming pakielamero/pakielamera sa mundo.

And believe me, even you have a child, they will never stop making suggestions, etc. Meron akong isang anak and sa totoo lang parang ayaw na namin sundan dahil mahirap ang buhay at mahirap mag alaga and yet we still get comments like dapat daw sundan, etc.

so they will never stop talaga hahaha!

at the end of the day, kayo ng husband mo ang mag dedecide if you really want to have a child or no... ang importante naman dyan ay masaya kayo and walang regrets.

Naniniwala ako na may anak man or wala, pwedeng maging masaya ang isang tao or married couple.

[lynsexy]

Karamihan talaga mas marunong pa sa desisyon ninyong mag asawa or partner. Yung alam nyo sa sarili nyo na ok naman kayo pero yung nakapaligid sa inyo ang affected.Yung iba nga may mga anak pero nung tumanda na sila wala naman sa tabi nila mga anak nila at di sila inaalagaan, ibang tao o kamag anak pa ang naasahan nila, pero yung mga anak ayun may kanya kanya ng buhay at di man lang silipin magulang nila na matatanda na. Ibang tao pa naasahan nila, kaya mas nakakaawa yung ganong sitwasyon na may mga anak naman sila pero wala sa tabi nila nung kailangan na nila. Napakadaming ganyan sa mundo...sana kung magkakaanak kami hindi dahil gusto lang namin may mag alaga samin, dahil binigay talaga sya para samin. Pero kung wala ok lang...kung ano ibibigay ni Lord tatanggapin namin ng maluwag, basta happy kami

[grrrlscout]

^ Agree sa lahat. I'm relieved that there are a lot of open-minded people na about this topic

Minsan I feel bad/guilty kasi parang mas inuuna ko pa yung gusto kong gawin to develop myself rather than have a kid

Yan din sentiment ni fiance. Pero sabi ko, mas selfish na mag-anak kung alam mong hindi mo gusto or hindi mo kaya, para lang masabi na nagawa mo. Sinasabi ko din sa mga friends ko (na madalas akong sabihan "sino mag-aalaga sayo pag tanda mo?") na hindi lang basta item sa bucket list ang pag-aanak. It takes everything--time, money, energy--from you and your partner. At sadyang hindi kami ready/willing para sa disruption na yun sa buhay namin.

[izabelle]

mas selfish yung anak ng anak kahit wala ng mapakain sa anak. Kahit alam na kapos na sa buhay e gora pa din sa kakabuo ng bata. Sino ba kawawa sa huli? diba bata din?

Kami nga may isang anak pero kapag sinabi namin na wala na kami plano sundan, ang banat agad sa amin ay KAWAWA naman daw ang anak namin dahil only child.

Parang hello? paano sya naging kawawa? We are not rich but my daughter lives a comfortable life. Kawawa ba yun? haha! ang alam kong kawawa yung walang makain at walang bahay na masilungan.

Nung bagong kasal kami, ang dami din side comments na mag anak daw kami agad kasi tumatanda na kami. (to think, I was only 25yrs old then), Iba talaga ang paniniwala ng ibang tao, ang problema don, iniimpose nila ang beliefs nila sa buhay sa iba.

Eh hindi naman parepareho ang tao. Respeto lang yan at the end of the day.

[j.adore]

Pressure, biological clock, sino mag alaga and the likes aren't the right reasons to have children. Lalo na yung last one ang hirap kasi sa Filipino culture eh ginagawang retirement plan mga anak nila. Meron thread dito ng mga breadwinner children that gives an insight on this.

I guess nasa culture din ng pinoy talaga.. People you've only just met would even question or say it's wrong not to have children susko!

[drag0nfly]

Salamat sa insights nyo.  All valid points.  Most of my girl friends na career-driven wala pang anak, yung iba walang balak.  Nabibilib lang ako sa kanila kasi parang they are not worried at all LOL.  Ako lang yata yung nakakaramdam ng pressure, sila kasi gora lang sa mga plano sa buhay.

[junetwentythree]

Ang sad lang ngayon, my best friend and I hardly have anything in common anymore. She's busy with her kids and I'm always thinking that I'm not going to be good with them so I rarely see them. I mean I love her kids of course because I love her but for some reason I've been really avoiding seeing them. Tampo na nga siya eh. Then when we text each other back and forth it's about her kids, or she'll say something about preggy friends or whatever. So I really have no contribution. I don't know. I have no idea how to react.