Still Childless

[imprincessfiona]

almost 3 years married. im turning 37. hubby is turning 43.

Im no longer expecting to have a baby. 

^sis don't lose hope. I am 38 and I know in my heart that I can still have one. Prayers lang sis. Baby dust to us all!

[chocola]

share ko lang, with my ex husband. wala kaming plan magkaanak nun. kesyo hindi pa stable, wala pang bahay, bata pako blah blah blah... even when my parents insist that its a part of marriage, mas magiging okay daw ang pagsasama namin and inspiration daw samin yun.
5 years kameng kasal. Ang ayoko lang kapag sinsabi nilang hindi sila naniniwalang ayaw namin maganak, may prob daw samin kaya hindi kami magkaanak, bs (yung totoo? mas alam nyo pa sakin??)  well, nagpapasalamat ako wala kameng naging anak dahil annulment din ang naging ending namin. And right now, gusto ko na magkaanak dahil nahanap ko na ang right guy for me, pero wala padin..

[j.adore]

I think it really depends on the person.

Met up with a friend who's also been married for years and of course may tanong about kids. When I shared our reasons, she just accepted and said she gets it.

Another person naman has been married for years but still not blessed with a child. Wala siyang sadness whatsoever and was just curious about our reasons. Kung daw meron, meron at kung wala, wala. It was simple for her.

It's nice to find people who understand. Welcome breather from the usual people who think abnormal ka pag kasal pero ayaw ng anak.

[la_pinay]

me too. im okay kung meron and okay lang din kung wala.

[pocahontas]

kami nung 3rd to 4th year of our marriage talagang nagtry na kami magkababy kaso di kami mkabuo. hanggang sa lumipas na yung feeling na gusto ko magkaanak. ngayon na aapreciate ko na ang pagiging childfree kasi we can do anything we want anytime we want. saka mas nakakapag focus kami sa married life namin at mga projects namin in life which doesn't include having a baby. 8years na kami kasal pero parang bf gf padin ang peg namin. madalas padin kami mapagkamalan na single siguro kasi hindi masyado stressed lifestyle namin. dedma na din kami sa mga tao sa paligid. hamo sila ma stress kaiisip kung bat wala pa kami baby hehe!

[onlytechgirl]

^hi mga sis matagal na rin ako hind nagpopost. Matagal ko na rin natanggap na maghintay na lang pero ngayon pagpasok ng taon nafeel ko na naman maging desperado sa pagkakaroon ng baby. This January sunod sunod ang mga preggy na nababalitaan ko at hindi sila basta kakilala ko, dalawang cousin sa side ni hubby then pati yun bff ko na kasabayan ko gusto rin magkababy eh napreggy na rin. Ayaw ko maramdam ito pero hindi ko maiwasan mainggit. Hays, iniisip ko na nga na mag ampon na kami. Pero should I na ba? Kasi gusto ko kung mag adopt kami ready na talaga kami emotionally at magiging proud kami sa kanya.

[yannuh]

^sis i do not see anything wrong with adoption. If gusto nyo both ni hubby then go for it:) ang importante sis kaya natin sila alagaan and itreat as our own:) wag ka din mawalan ng pag asa. Magkakababy ka din:) basta sis pray lang and seek tayo doctor's help para maging ok lahat:)

[ivy u.]

Kapag nagka-baby na kayo, its worth the wait
We got married 2002, I'm PCOS, Type 2 DM
First unexpected pregnancy 2010 but D&C on my 1st Trimester
Adopted a baby 2011
Got unexpected Pregnancy again 2014.
We are now a family of 4.

God give miracles to those who patiently wait.
God listens, Keep on praying.

wow! sis ang saya naman. every night pray ako na sana kahit isa man lang bigyan kami.

[simang]

^hi mga sis matagal na rin ako hind nagpopost. Matagal ko na rin natanggap na maghintay na lang pero ngayon pagpasok ng taon nafeel ko na naman maging desperado sa pagkakaroon ng baby. This January sunod sunod ang mga preggy na nababalitaan ko at hindi sila basta kakilala ko, dalawang cousin sa side ni hubby then pati yun bff ko na kasabayan ko gusto rin magkababy eh napreggy na rin. Ayaw ko maramdam ito pero hindi ko maiwasan mainggit. Hays, iniisip ko na nga na mag ampon na kami. Pero should I na ba? Kasi gusto ko kung mag adopt kami ready na talaga kami emotionally at magiging proud kami sa kanya.

There is definitely nothing wrong with adoption, my aunt who was married for 15 years pero hindi magkababy opted na mag-ampon and their kid is now 13 years old. They adopted him since the baby was born. Your questions though are legit -- are you ready right now. Baka kasi kaya mo lang naiisip to resort to adoption is because of the pressure around you, and yes, maybe the inggit that everyone is having a baby and you're not. Tamang tanungin mo kayo ng husband mo if ready na ba kayo to raise a kid who's not biologically yours. Basta wag magpadala sa pressure and don't decide on adoption out of impulse.

And sis, I know I'm not in the position to say this kasi hindi ko naman alam ang pinagdadaanan nyo. Paulit ulit mo man naririnig, but everything will happen in God's time talaga. Just be ready physically and emotionally kayo ng husband mo. As one of our sisses mentioned here, when it comes, it will be worth the wait. Everything will make sense. Smile sis, and don't let the negativity consume you. Magiging okay din yan.

[chikit]

Share ko lang re: adoption. May tita ako na hirap din magbuntis noon. Nag ampon. Pero naman after nya mag ampon nagkaron sya ng 8 anak meron pa dun within 1 year lang ang pagitan. Kaya naisip ko din mag ampon noon since hello 9 years na wala pa ko anak. Pero buti na lang nabuntis na ko bago pa dumating yung deadline ko sa sarili ko na mag adopt na ko pag wala pa din

[bigdadis_girl]

Hi sisses! Wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Pray lang palagi. Mahirap talaga yung feeling na alam mong pwede ka namang mapreggy, pero wala pa rin.

4 yrs married na kami ni hubby and TTC for 3 yrs. I prayed to God, sabi ko kung hindi para sa amin yung maging parents, hindi ko na ipipilit.
Share ko lang din pala yung case ko - multiple myomas, adenomyosis, adenomyoma, ovarian cysts sa right. God is good all the time!

I like this story of yours sis crzysxycl very inspiring.  Sobrang God is good and faithful no?
napa smile talaga ako dito sa post mo na ito...

[crzysxycl]

^Salamat sis! Don't lose hope. Darating din ang blessing nyo. Ours came when we least expect it, as in akala ko next cycle nanaman uli kami. I'm praying for everyone here.. Kapit lang.

[bigdadis_girl]

^thank you ng madami sis, hindi ko din kasi maimagine yung pinagdaanan mo sa case mo.
multiple myomas, adenomyosis, adenomyoma, ovarian cysts sa right hindi biro din kasi yang mga yan.  God is good talaga and full of grace. 

[grrrlscout]

Fiance and I recently talked about this and we decided not to have kids. Our decision is based on our current financial status and level of desire to have kids. We don't really feel anything is missing in our lives. If those two things change in the future, we are open to adoption.

I'm a bit scared that I will give in to the people who will undoubtedly tell me I will regret my decision. But I figured that's regret I can live with. What I can't live with is knowingly bringing a kid that we don't wholeheartedly want, when we aren't 100% stable enough to provide for.

[luckypal]

^ we're on the same page, grrrlscout. My hubby and I aren't really into having kids, plus the city we live in is very expensive. Just to buy a townhouse within the area or even the neighboring cities would range anywhere between $600k-$1M (some townhouses are even $2-4M!). A house is well over a million dollars and that's not in a good area already.

So yeah, even if we wanted kids, it would be tough in our city.

[megamabushii]

I will only have kids if the family income is very high. Para sakin, dapat mayaman ako since finance-wise, I can't give a good life to someone if I don't enough finances.

Being a parent kasi is different from being a spouse, eh.

[senti_girl14]

My husband and I have been married for almost two years and we still feel na di pa din kami ready to have a child. We're already in our early thirties and there are times that I feel pressured to have a child. Sometimes iniisip ko if there is something wrong with us not wanting to have kids. Pero just thinking about the responsibilities of becoming a parent, parang sobrang hirap...

[chinkywinky]

Marami ako kilala na childless by choice, and they are happy. Ako rin childless, not by choice pero whatever, ok kami ng husband ko and we have accepted it. Some people kasi parang mas alam pa ang buhay namin, they feel na we are miserable because we don't have a child. Dedma na lang kami ni hubby, nasanay na rin kami na kaming dalawa lang. Minsan kahit sabihin namin na "wag nyo kaming alalahanin kasi sobrang ok kami." They really don't believe, especially the traditional thinkers.

Ang saya rin ng walang anak, we can do whatever we want and we can go to places and splurge. And we don't need children para lang may mag-alaga sa amin pagtanda, believe it or not that's the least that we thought of. Kahit bago kami ikasal, we talked about it, na hindi kami aasa sa magiging mga anak namin, and we will not be a burden to them, moreso we will not live with them (hell no! Ako pa naman ayaw ko ng maraming kasama sa bahay at ayoko ng magulo, medyo OC ako) so they could enjoy their lives. Sabi nga ni hubby, ganon din naman, may anak kami o wala, pagtanda namin kami pa rin namang dalawa ang maiiwan. Kung may bibisita sa amin pagtanda? Marami. Dami naming pamangkin at mga inaanak  Ang ikli ng buhay, we will not dwell into something that we can't have, sayang ang buhay 

[grrrlscout]

Luckypal, whoa, mahal nga! Also, aside from financial responsibilities, iniisip ko pa lang na we will be fully responsible for this person's well-being, napapa-oh my gulay talaga ako. Bukod sa basic needs, responsible tayo sa education at emotional well-being nila, bonggang dread talaga nafi-feel ko. I'm sure having a child is rewarding and the payoffs are worth the sacrifices, but sa ngayon, content kami na kami lang dalawa.

chinkywinky, yan nga din sinasabi ko sa mga well-meaning but very nosy friends. Hindi investment o retirement plan ang anak. I will never put that burden on anyone else's shoulder.

[luckypal]

^ Yeah unfortunately it's a bubble that's never going to burst in this area. Daming foreign real estate buyers who can buy everything in cash. I live in Vancouver, [textspeak!] and people who work here, especially the younger ones who haven't entered the real estate market before the boom, are finding it harder and harder to live here. Most of my married friends are still childless because of this.

Kami namin ni hubby, ok lang maging childless regardless of the cost of living. But I feel for my friends who have to defer their plans because of economic realities. They too, like you, want to give the best to their kids, but it's really difficult nowadays.

I also agree with your comment to chinkywinky. Now I have something to say when people say na walang magaalaga sa amin pag matanda na kami.