Still Childless

[margeL]

Ang Hirap mangarap kung nagiisa ka lang. Ano yun immaculate concepcion? Hay.....

[mrsonthego]

I'm tired. Married for more than 7 years and no luck of having a baby so far. I can say I have done all that I could, pero wala pa rin. I felt like tinigil ko buong buhay ko because of trying to have a baby. I want to give up na, I want to go on with my life and just enjoy it like this. I'm not saying na ayoko na ng baby. I will forever dream of becoming a mother pero nakakapagod na din. At ang hirap kasi sa lipunan natin, parang walang choice ang babae kundi manganak. Walang puwang sa society ang mga married/single childless women. Lagi kang sasabihan ng "you can always adopt" like living child-free is never an option.

They don't have any idea what it feels like to be in my place. No one understands except those who are in the same situation.

Hayyy, God bless us childless women. God bless us!

[onlytechgirl]

^hi sis, hindi ka nagiisa, kami ni huby we are still trying, hindi pa kami nawawalang ng pag asa. May kakilala ako nun sumuko na sila tsaka dumating. In God's perfect time darating yan sis.
Adoption is ok pero sobrang laking decision, dapat with all your heart and hindi option nga lang lang.

[itsnikimendoza]

I'm tired. Married for more than 7 years and no luck of having a baby so far. I can say I have done all that I could, pero wala pa rin. I felt like tinigil ko buong buhay ko because of trying to have a baby. I want to give up na, I want to go on with my life and just enjoy it like this. I'm not saying na ayoko na ng baby. I will forever dream of becoming a mother pero nakakapagod na din. At ang hirap kasi sa lipunan natin, parang walang choice ang babae kundi manganak. Walang puwang sa society ang mga married/single childless women. Lagi kang sasabihan ng "you can always adopt" like living child-free is never an option.

They don't have any idea what it feels like to be in my place. No one understands except those who are in the same situation.

Hayyy, God bless us childless women. God bless us!

awww hugs sis. Always keep in mind na God has perfect plans. I'll include you in my prayers.

[janet28]

Sis wag kang mawalan ng pag asa, naiintindihan kita anong nararamdaman mo.. rest ka muna sa ttc.. Ako nagrest ako nun nung sobrang down na ako.. kahit mga ilang buwan lang sis.. at pinaka importante sis dasal.. Huwag na huwag kang bibitaw sa faith mo sis.. Ako nun pag down na ako pupunta ako sa church.. dun ako umiiyak at Dun ko kinakausap si mama mary, jesus.. Paglabas ko ng church gumagaan na loob ko kahit pano.. kaya sis wag ka mawawalan pag asa.. ibibigay din ni Lord.. :-) :-)

[jojo2978]

It was 2003 when I had an idea that I may not be able to have a child. I've asked God, why me? Don't I have a choice?

I've lived my life since then as a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I never think of my future, all I have to consider is myself, I have no one in the end to attribute my success. I let that thought lingered till 2011.

God, however, continuously poured His blessings. I've accepted such blessings and perhaps, accepted my fate. I cannot ignore the fact that I should have counted my blessings. So, now, though I am continuously praying that should time comes that He should find me worthy, to have one, I should be ready.

Perhaps, there is more to life. Perhaps TS is correct. We should play with the cards we are dealt with but continuously pray and hope for miracles to happen.

[gracita13]

*hugs sis* share ko lang sayo yung teaching ng bible study namen kagabe. Its about discouragement sa buhay. Meron kasi sa buhay naten yung hindi naman naten pwede kontrolin eh diba? na si God lang ang makakapagbigay tulad ng anak, sabe nga sa
Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord;they are a reward from him.

Like you childless din kame. Ibigay mu ang lahat ng worries mu ke God for He cares for you sis. Minsan ite-test talaga ni Lord yung faith naten tru paghihintay, alam ni God kung ano ang desires ng mga puso naten but sis believe na mas maganda ang plano ni God para saten. Minsan nararamdaman ko din yan sini-set ko na nga ang mind ko na ok lang naman kahit kame lang ni hubby forever haha! pero diba aminin naten mahirap i-give up ang bagay na gusto talaga naten  kaya sis kapit lang, pahinga ka if yun sa tingin mu ang kailangan mu. Hindi ka bibitawan ni God.

Pray for more strength, sis.
God bless!

[Cheesecak3]

Kung hindi pa talaga binibigay just take it easy sis. Wag kang magpaapekto sa mga sasabihin ng iba. Enjoy your life. Don't lose hope na magkaroon din kayo ng baby one day.

[quennna]

kami rin still childless. married for 6 yrs na pero oks na oks na prin
never ako nakaencounter ng loneliness, disappointment etc..
i lift everything to Him.. now, ang mantra ko, kung magkakaroon thank you.. pero kung wala.. ayos lang. perhaps, God has better plan for us..

personal reason ko, ayaw kong ipilit.. mamya kakapililit ko
di healthy baby mapunta sa akin.. so relax lang ako talaga.. besides dami kong pamangkin na kids so dun nakadivert attention ko..

pero confident ako na sooon.. magkakaroon... amen to that..

[Romina]

After 5 plus plus years, we're still childless. It's making me regret taking those bcp when we were still dating and having premarital sex. I've always said I don't want kids anyway, but deep inside I really do. The look on my husband's face every time a pregnancy test comes out negative crushes my heart. I feel like a disappointment. The doctor said there's nothing wrong with us, so I don't really know why we can't seem to conceive.

[quennna]

sis, dont be sad.. darating yan..  may inaayos lang sa universe..
naghihintay lang ng perfect timing.. keep your faith, sis..
may purpose kung baket wala pang dumarating..

[quinone]

like the others here, ok lang sa amin ni hubby kung ma-bless ng baby, pero ok lang rin kung wala. when we were in our late 20s, nag-try kami a few times, pero hindi super effort like magpa-ivf or anything like that. when i pray naman i always say what i want, pero kung ano yung will ni God, susunod ako.

i am turning 35 soon, medyo parang ayaw ko na. parang gusto ko na maging childfree. di ko na ata kaya magpalaki ng baby.

[Girltalker2]

At ang hirap kasi sa lipunan natin, parang walang choice ang babae kundi manganak. Walang puwang sa society ang mga married/single childless women.

Actually, nasa sa atin din iyan if we will allow society to dictate our happiness.  Sa Pinas kasi, kahit san ka mapunta, bukang bibig talaga, kelan ka magkaka baby. Kung may panganay ka na, kelan susunod, etc.  People are very nosy and since they have nothing to ask you, malamang you are asked 1000x na kelan ka magkakababy. Kaya nakaka irita sobra.

Lagi kang sasabihan ng "you can always adopt" like living child-free is never an option.

Adoption is not for everyone.  But I know of a couple who adopted a child, and it made all the difference. I saw them happy and complete. I also saw how selfless parents they have become.  Though hindi naman sila nag give up to have another child pa, pero wala talaga.  Teenager na now ang adopted daughter nila and they have been open with her about their situation. Pero yung love ng daughter nila for them and vice versa, sometimes iisipin mo mas higit pa sa tunay na mag-ina/mag-ama.

[dudzrea]

 1 CORINTO 10 13: Wala pang pagsubok na dumating sa inyo na hindi nararanasan ng lahat ng tao. Tapat ang DIYOS, at hindi niya ipapahintulot na kayo'y subukin nang higit sa inyong makakaya. Sa halip pagdating ng pagsubok, bibigyan niya kayo ng lakas upang mapagtagumpayan iyon.. kaya natin ito Mga sis, makapangyarihan ang DIYOS, alam ng DIOS ang kayang ginagawa wag natin siya pangunahan naririnig ng DIYOS ang ating mga dasal 

[zanabee]

count me in mga sis. going 8 years na kami ni hubby pero childless pa rin. unti-unti ko na ring natatanggap na baka hindi talaga kami blessed to have one. 

[airwaterfire]

Sana mainspire kayo sa kwento ko:

Meron ako officemate sa dating pinagtrabahoan namin. That time mid 30's na yata and matagal ng may asawa pero walang anak(almost 10years).  That time tanggap na yata nila na di na sila magka baby. Naging parang biro biro nalang sa mga kasamahan namin. When i resigned nalaman ko nalang buntis daw at early 40's na yata siya. At ang tsika pa kahit office hours tulog parin sa audit room. Mababait naman mga kasamahan nila kaya hinayaan nalang. Pero that time na preggy na si Ate, meron na rin sila adopted na relative lang din nila.

Meron ako daughter kaya lang ang tanong ng mga nakararami, kelan daw sundan malaki na daw. Hehe. Sagot ko nalang mag drawing muna ako or paano yan di man maporma.

[swertengiha]

hi sis mrsonthego! i feel for you sis.
kami nga ni hubby turning 10 years na pero still childless pa rin.
nakaka-pikon din naman talaga yung pressure na kelangan mong magka-baby. na parang di kumpleto ang pagka-babae mo kung di mo kayang magbuntis at magka-anak. masakit na tawagin kang baog kahit idaan pa sa biro. minsan mismong relatives mo pa ang magsasabi sayo.
pero ako personally kapag may naririning akong ganun sinasabi ko sa kanila na mas mainam pang maging baog kesa naman katulad ng ibang babae na iresponsable na pinapalaglag ang baby nila. mas ok na walang anak kesa naman maging pabayang ina. ayun tumatahimik naman ang mga nang-aasar.
ou totoo na nakaka-iyak, nakakapagod, nakaka-down ng self confidence at minsan di mo maiwasan magtanong ng BAKIT?
tama ang sinabi nila dito na ibigay mo kay Lord lahat ng worries mo. may mga bagay talaga na di natin makokontrol kahit anong pilit natin.
ako yun ang ginagawa ko everyday. ang sabi ko "Lord kayo na po ang bahala sa lahat. Please guide me and give me strength".
tapos itinuon ko ang isip ko sa mga oppurtunities na pwedeng i-excel for being childless. like learning a new skill, seeking new career, or travelling.
try mo sis. malay mo may mas magandang nakalaan sa inyo other than having a child as for now.

[TysLolakins]

that's one of the things that is not good in our culture/society,  the expectation that the union of 2 will lead to procreation.  please don't get me wrong,  when somebody comments to you for being childless,  most of the time,  that person is just being folksy,  no malice nor offense directed at you,  it meant to be taken well.


and remember, once the kids are grown,  it will just be you and the spouse again,  like us,  we're empty-nesters now. 



 

[cescilay]

Don't worry mga sissies! There is always hope. It took 10 years bago mabuntis at manganak ang mother ko. Before that she went through 2 miscarriages and nagpapagamot din since both sila ng father ko may problem. They gave up and accepted the fact na hindi na sila magkakaanak. But then... hayun nabuntis siya and one and a half year after she had me.

In God's perfect time talaga.

[nathanielle]

Hi sis. Kami rin ng husband ko still childless. We've been married almost 3 years now. I'm 32 and my husband is 36.  We started trying a few months into our marriage. To no avail, unfortunately. Other than my PCOS, doctors can't find anything 'wrong' with us.  After all the doctor's visits and expensive tests, ganun lang ang conclusion. So we just decided, if it's for us, it's for us. Mahirap ipilit ang mga bagay bagay.

Minsan iniisip ko, maybe this is my karma in life? Sa lahat ng ginawa ko sa buhay ko baka ito yung kabayaran. But on the other hand, iniisip ko rin, life has been good to me. I have a family who loves me and I have a wonderful husband. Ano't ano pa naman, I have plenty of things to be thankful for.

So I'm not saying you should keep your hopes up nor am I saying just forget about it. Just dwell on the positive side of things. If the reason we want to have a child is because we have so much love to give, we can channel that love in other ways. Kami, we spoil our pamangkins, we have dogs who mean the world to us, we give to charity, and we have each other. The love we have just takes on other forms. Others may say it's not as deep, or as equally meaningful, but we do what we can. And in the end that's what matters naman diba? Good luck sis. Be strong.