How do you discipline your toddlers?

[virt_train]

Paano ba kayo mag discipline ng toddlers?

With me, I use a spanking rod (you can buy this one at PCBS) and so far it works for me. My daughter is 3 years old. I set some rules, I showed to her  the spanking rod and explain that I will use it if she will not obey. What I am trying to achieve is that she needs to respect authority (me as someone with authority) by obeying some rules so she will not be hurt.

Pag nagsimula na sya mag disobey, dinadala ko sya sa room na kami lang dalawa, pinapadapa and palo sa puwit lang using the spanking rod.  But since hindi talaga sumusunod yan, I hold and place her on my lap na padapa talaga (nagpupumiglas yan),tsaka  ko paluin. Pag bumigay na sya , that's the time I talk to her.

When I talk to her, hahawakan ko yung face nya and dapat her eyes should be on me. And then explain it to her what  what she did  was wrong, I will let her ask sorry for what she did and on my part naman I will tell her that she is forgiven, after that I will hug her and say I love you anak. We will not go out the room, until we say I love you to each other.

At this point naman, ang objective ko naman is for my daughter  to identify her mistake, learn how to ask forgiveness pag nagkamali and there is Restoration. And so far naman super effective sa akin to.

I learn this from a seminar on parenting and I was very thankful na I learned this one. By the way, per age level may different ways to discipline and may kanyang kanyang objective rin.

[frankikay]

ako naman sis, NO to spanking talaga ako or any other physical pasakit.  agreement na namin ni hubby yun. by the way, 2 years old na yung baby namin. lumaki kasi akong puro palo kapag may nagawang mali, kaya hate na hate ko talaga yun and promise ko sa sarili na never ko yun ipaparanas sa anak ko. im lucky naman kasi hubby ko nakikinig sa akin. pag meron magawang mali ang anak namin, talk lang talaga ang katapat. it's either siya or ako ang kumausap, depende din kung saan siya nagkamali. firm talaga kami magsabi ng NO! so far effective naman. sana nga hindi yun magbabago para walang sakit sa ulo

[twelvth_goddess]

Same here, NO to spanking din kame. My daughter is 2 years and 8 months and she is at a stage where she tries to explore her limits. Early on pa lang na-establish na namin yung no tolerance for tantrums and we really make it a point na kakausapin everytime she does something that's not nice.

I tried the face the wall thing before and it didnt work for us. Siguro hinde nya pa naiintindihan ang point non kase everytime I would ask her to face the wall dati, natatawa sya for some odd reason.

[bluegintonic]

I grew up in a decade that spanking was norm, and I turned out okay Nowadays, with all the "child rights advocates" and "non -violent"ways of parenting, I can say I'm middle of the road.When we spank or hit our kids,we have to bear in mind that generations ago, there were no qualms about this practice, no second guessing, it was THE ultimate disciplinary action that can be done if the kid's running errant. It just depends on how we want to go about it-with my first daughter,she's the kind na nadadaan sa tingin.My 2nd, who's now 2,napalo ko na kasi sobra violent nya pag I use time out on her, I put her in her room only for me to find out that she upended everything (a heavy wooden toy piano included,her diaper pail,etc...).No matter how many times I put her in her room for a peaceful time out,she upturns EVERYTHING.SO I spanked her hands. Didn't work either. It turns out it's better to pre-empt episodes which will eventually lead to me getting angry because she misbehaves-avoidance na lang para wala nang magagalit at walang paluang mangyayari.I think it depends on the kid din, kasi totally different ang personality ni #1 at #2 ko.

[kookie420]

^ I agree, spanking was the norm. 

mix of spanking (with the belt) and facing the wall. nowadays, not so much with spanking anymore but she gets threatened with belt if she doesn't follow.

[twelvth_goddess]

When we were kids, never kame napalo ng parents namin. My mom grew up in lower class income family from the province and grabe mamalo ang lola ko. Yung isang tita ko napalo ng pangbayo ng bigas sa likod and nagkaron ng bukol na parang kuba na sya, until now hinde na nawala. That's why never kame napalo ng mama ko (even my dad din) kase ayaw nya gawin samin yung ginawa sa kanila ng lolo and lola ko. My daddy naman was super disciplinarian. He was a US navy officer and part spanish kaya iba ang pagka-strict  nya. Isang tingin pa lang samin, we knew na kelangan umayos na.

With that said, I grew up and told myself na hinde din ako mamalo. What's weird lang is that my brother na hinde din napalo at all eh grabe naman kung mamalo ng mga anak nya (well silang dalawang mag-asawa). So ngayon super tigas ng ulo ng mga kids nya. In my opinion naman, I think spanking is ok if it's limited to the butt area lang. My friend who is a Christian said na sinabe din daw sa kanila sa church na spanking is ok kung talagang warranted basta sa butt area lang, kaya nga daw that area is 'padded', parang ganyan.

[chicafabulosa]

No to spanking in our household. We talked to him and he listens naman. If we say no, he knows it is really a no. If nakasakit anak namin, he knows to say sorry. If napapagalitan sya, we explain to him why kame nagagalit. And dapat di yun ang ginagawa nya kasi di tama. So if we will ask him why kame nagalit, he would say kasi i dont follow and im a bad boy. We would tell him all the time if he doesnt follow us he is hurting us and making us sad. And he doesnt like seeing me and people in our household sad. He is only 3 btw. And im glad it is working naman.

[KVsWahmmy]

With my 4-year old daughter, I just raise my voice a little and make it firm - yung may 'bite' ba para she knows na dapat sumunod sya. Napalo ko na ba sya? Yes, a couple of times siguro - may mga times kasi na talagang very defiant sya eh, yung nagiinarte talaga. Saka tao lang din naman ako, nasasagad din - kahit sa sarili kong anak. Pero not the kind of palo naman na masakit talaga. I also make sure na pag napagalitan ko sya, I explain to her why after para maintindihan nya na I don't do that to just because I got angry, but because I love her and that she did something wrong.

When I was young, hindi lang palo ang inabot ko sa nanay ko dahil talagang matigas ulo ko noon. My mom is very strict and talagang disciplinarian. My dad naman is the exact opposite - sya yung hindi namamalo, at kinakausap kami instead na pagalitan/sigawan. I learned a lot from my mom --- and my dad. So yung discipline system ko ngayon with my daughter is a bit of both. I make sure to have my mom's firmness and conviction, and the heart and compassion of my dad.... At in fairness, sobrang challenging pala... Ang hirap pala talaga maging parent.

[can_dice]

I was asking the same question on my blog.

My 2yo daughter likes to bite my 7month old son! 
I've spoken to her and she says ok naman.
Altho I think di pa niya fully naiintindihan yung concept ng discipline eh...

Help mommies!!

[kiz_me1109]

When I was a kid, Palo talaga yung means of descipline. And hindi lang siya simpleng palo. yung talagang masasaktan ka with bruises pa.

Now that i have my own son, i promised myself never to do it on my own son. There were times na nawawalan na ako ng pasensiya. Kapag napapalo ko siya (not to the extent naman na nasasaktan na siya), e na gu guilty ako.

It's so hard to raise a toddler. Lalo na yung sakin, boy na sobrang kulit. He's turning 4 and madaming times na iyak siya ng iyak na hindi na siya maintindihan. Face the wall, wag baba (upo lang sa sofa for a couple of minutes),etc doesnt work for him. Lalo lang niyang lalakasan yung iyak niya. If papatulan mo din siya e lalo lang siyang iiyak.

So, what I do is hinahayaan ko nalang siya. I guess iba iba talaga yung ugali ng bata. i read from SP Magazine na may mga bata talaga na mas gusto nilang hayaan nalang sila kapag nag tantrums sila. Let the, shout and cry. As long as hindi nila nasasaktan yung sarili nila and safe yung paligid. I try to ignore him and just make sure na safe siya.

Kapag pagod na siyang umiyak, saka ko siya kakausapin.

[chicafabulosa]

Hug her tight sis candice. And tell her "we dont bite. We dont hurt each other". Maybe sa akin lanh ha try to bite her gently, wag yung magpapasa ha. Then if she cries, you explain to her, that's what your baby brother feels when you bite him. He is hurting. Then hug her.

Before my son's game was a bit rough, pang boys talaga like palo but he thought it was just a game. So one time i also did that to him pero not to the point na masakit. And he was shocked. So i told him, thats what we feel when you do that to us. So from then on, he stopped na that kind of game. Kasi alam nya nakakasakit na pala sya.

Before nagtatantrum rin son ko, what we just di is hug him tight. And we tell him, if you continue to do that, youre making me sad... Minsan may kasama na nangungurot sya before, i just tell him pag yakap ko sya ng mahigpit. Miggy, we dont hurt each other. You are making mommy sad when you do that.. He would cry pero sandali na lang. Then he would say sorry rin eventually

[can_dice]

^thats a good suggestion sis!  i will do that nga next time.. thanks for this..

lumaki din ako sa palo and ok lang naman ako.. so i'm open to the palo thing.. yun lang, if the kid naman can understand the explanation - then no need to spank na..  diba?

i appreciate your feedbacks!! thanks super!!

(is it just me or we all can't use the right click button to open another tab for another topic?)

[lenjei]

ako naman i always talk to my kids.. Ayaw ko ng pinapalo sila.. Mas naniniwala ako na mas magiging maayos sila ag mabuting bata pag palagi silang kianakausap at pinapaalalahanan...

[GeRi Sp!cE]

Mga sis, how about one year olds? Kasi hindi pa naman masyado Makausap. Minsan pag sinabi kong NO! Nagta-tantrums haha

[bhey0624]

@geri spice, divert mo lang attention nya into something else. mas gusto ko pa nga ang ganyang age kasi madali pa silang mauto. pag malaki na, hirap ng i-divert ang attention eh.

[mrsamurao]

Mga sis, how about one year olds? Kasi hindi pa naman masyado Makausap. Minsan pag sinabi kong NO! Nagta-tantrums haha

Hi sis, pareho tayo. My son is only 14 months old and OA ang kakulitan. Like you, when I say NO, lalo pa siya magta-tantrums. Also, he has this habit to gag so that he could vomit. Ini-induce talaga niya. Nase-stress ako, Nase-stress din yung yaya. I read somewhere na pag may ganung behavior daw, the best thing to do is to ignore it. Kasi whether pagalit or hindi, they see it as a way of getting attention. So one time, when he made himself vomit, pinabayaan ko talaga. I just quietly cleaned him up and then left him sa crib. He did it a couple of times more after that incident pero yun na ang approach namin sa kanya. Deadma lang. Nagugulat siya siguro bakit ganun yung treatment sa kanya kaya ngayon, hindi na niya ginagawa. Nagfe-fake cry na lang siya na grabe too cute naman para hindi ko pansinin! 

As early as now though, my husband and I try to make sure we're very consistent sa kung anong bawal sa kanya at hindi. Like, if he cannot play with our stuff today, he still can't play with our stuff tomorrow. Medyo repetitive nga lang pero I really believe that eventually, he'll get the message. Also, wala kaming good cop, bad cop routine ni husband. If galit ako, siya tahimik and vice-versa. That way, my son will see na when he misbehaves, wala siyang kakampi.
   

[GeRi Sp!cE]

Thanks sis bhey0624 and sis mrsamurai fir you great advice. Im guilty that i've let my daughter play with mom and dad stuff. Kaya im always cleaning up after her tapos wala pa kami yaya. Ive tried ignoring her when she wanted to get out of the crib when i was busy doing chores. Though she "fake cried" for a while, she eventually stopped and played with her toys. I read somewhere na we should let them cry it out. How ling? 1 minute/ year. I do it but sometimes the in-laws get in the way. Haay

She is learning to climb out of the play pen na kaya i cant leave her alone inside. Haay how time flies. 

[smoothie]

Naka-experience din ako ng palo. Same with hubby.

I have a toddler, 3 yrs old na NAPAKAkulit na boy. hehe. What we do is we get angry first, like raising our voices or getting stared at. (mas effective kay hubby)
He gets it naman. But there are times na talagang pasaway at uulitin niya kahit pagalitan namin. That's the time wherein we spank him. Usually sa hands and not hard.
Natuto naman.

[packsmom]

I learn this from a seminar on parenting and I was very thankful na I learned this one. By the way, per age level may different
 ways to discipline and may kanyang kanyang objective rin.

Sis saan yan seminar na yan. Sorry di ko nabasa yung buong thread at talagang interested ako.

I spank my son, not to the point hes hurt ah,  and after that I explain to him why I did that and that Im not mad at him but at
what he did. Medyo nagegets naman nya and naglalambing kami after. 

[fibia]

i also spank my 6 yo daughter - i spank her hands. but lately this doesnt work anymore and hence my dilemna.

i'm a single parent and receive no support from my parents or the dad when it comes to disciplining.

im torn between being a nurturer vs disciplinarian. in my experience its hard to balance both, because i feel guilty everytime i discipline her, and paranoid/worried when i just give in and let it all go.