why i keep coming back to him..

[sheyfashionizta]

..I have a boyfriend for 4 years, we separated many times, but everytime he tried to come back in my arms i always accept him, even if the reasons of our break up was 3rd party, even if its painful everytime we break .. i can still accept him, i always find myself available when it comes to him but he always hurting me over and over again, i tried to move on many times already but until now i find myself doing the same thing.. loving him

[tough_guy]

ay mahirap yan sis.. kung paulit ulit mo lang siya pinapatawad dahil sa 3rd party niya at lagi ka nalang nasasaktan, the true and sad thing is patuloy pa rin niya uulitin yung ginagawa niya, kasi kung gagawin niya ulit, ang alam niya papatawarin mo nalang din.. ang 4 years ay di kahinahinayang sis. its really hard but you have to stay away from him.. If you've decided that cheating of your bf is absolutely intolerable in your relationship, then it's time to make that breakup final..

[ragnar_danneskjold]

You're TOO nice. You've seen a doormat with WELCOME written on it? Ikaw yun. Kahit umalis pa sya ng hatinggabi para pumunta sa 3rd party nya at bumalik sayo sa umaga welcome mo pa rin sya. The bigger part of the problem is you. Stop being a doormat and you'll change your man or you'll find a better one. Or if you really like being a doormat at least replace the words WELCOME with EFF YOU.

[kaiz]

sis sana pahalagahan mo sarili mo. read your signature --- The best revenge is just Moving On and getting over it.. Don't give someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer.

[tough_guy]

@ sheyfashionizta oo nga noh nasa signature mo na yung sagot sa problem mo

[angeleigh]

Sis ngayon lang yan kasi blinded ka pa by your love for him... Pero alam mo, pagsisisihan mo yan pagdating ng panahon... Like sa akin, ngayon ako nagagalit sa sarili ko na sinayang ko yung panahon ko sa taong una pa lang niloko nako. Tinanggap ko siya ng tinanggap kahit na 3rd party ang dahilan... Paulit ulit...
Ayun, hindi rin naman magbabago yan, eventually maghihiwalay rin kayo sa huli at mapapagod ka na rin... Pero marerealize mo na lang na nasayang at lumipas na yung prime years of your life.

Im already 32 this year, should have been married a long time ago. But because i stayed and held on only because of love and not using my head... and not listening to others...
ayun, single pa rin ako. I have a bf pero natrauma na ata ako sa kasal kasal na yan! hehe.

[lex_mom]

i feel for you sis. I am 30 now and i feel like i wasted the last two years with my ex. we just broke up in March. I left him pregnant. I'm due this September. I want to regret the two years that I spent working on our relationship and conditioning myself that he was Mr.Right. But then again, I have this baby to love so I'm still here, positive and able to extend kindness, even to my ex. After I give birth, I plan to go through a complete makeover. I want to be completely happy kasi with myself so I can be the best mom to my son. Pass na muna ako sa MEN for now. I will make myself happy and complete na muna.

[Scubadoobidoo]

I find it important never to regret any of your mistakes...instead look at them as lessons. Life is not meant to be lived like that.  In life you win some and you lose some...thats how it is. Dwelling on your past mistake will only turn you into a bitter person who wont be able to appreciate life. 

[pinkberries]

Dont get mad sis ha... pero baka masochist ka at sya, sadist.   

im not literally referring to physical pain... but sometimes, there are relationships like that.  Your partner loves to inflict emotional pain on you while you like accepting it.   It's the emotional drama that makes you accept him again and again.   Well, it somehow sounds dysfunctional but it happens....

[vangie88]

sis, the fact that you are questioning the situation and even made a thread to ask for someone to make things clear for you, that already means that you know that there is something wrong. sis, you need to love and respect yourself, alam mo na ilang beses ka na niloloko and you still accept him, honestly i can't really blame him na for treating you that way kasi you allow him to do that to you. stop being st*pidly in love, focus on yourself muna, you deserve better.

[quinone]

i remember a friend telling a friend of ours, "wala kang bait sa sarili" ganyan rin situation nun sa iyo. love yourself sis. apply the no contact rule. makakalimutan mo yan i'm sure. help yourself also na maka move on, kasi kung lagi mo siya iniisip hindi mo tinutulungan ang sarili mo nun.

laki na siguro ng ego ng ex mo, iniisip nun, "ay si ano...patay na patay sa akin yun. kahit niloko ko na, konting bola lang bumabalik sa akin" i could just imagine his guy friends laughing with him.

ayos lang magpatawad once, pero hanggang doon lang. ako ata kapag niloko ako for the 2nd time, mawawala respeto ko dun sa tao na yun. at kapag nagpaloko ako ulit, mas mawawala respeto ko sa sarili ko.

[aquacharly]

SHEYFASHIONISTA: 

1.  History repeats itself until The Lesson is learned.
What is The Lesson to be learned here? 
You should be happy in this world, this  life.
Are you happy now?  Are you not so now because you will be so (happy) in the future?
The other sis here don't think so --  that your unhappiness now will reward you with happiness later.
Why?  Because your happiness depends on the actions of someone else, and you can control yourself only, not others kahit I-cadena mo yan sa paa mo 24/7.

2.  Breakdown into components this set-up that you are very dissatisfied with; but can't (you think) dis-engage from.
1st:  You never stop loving someone  you have chosen to love.
BUT LOVE CHANGES, like everything else.  LOVE CAN CHANGE.
You can change your love for someone, in a heartbeat, if you choose too.
See, don't think that como mahal mo pa BF mo eh you just gotta go with his flow/decisions.  No.
Sige, mahal mo pa yan BUT you don't have to suffer or think there's nothing you can do about the relationship power balance unfavorable to you.

If I were in your shoes, I'd step back & slap myself.
I'd say to myself:  I love him, but my heart's tired; and he treats me like crap.
I love him, but enough's enough.
Hindi na ko pabo- bola; hindi na ko aasa he will give me the kind of love I search & yearn for.
Who is he to decide what kind of love is for me; and when, I should be loved.

You will continue to love him; but you can & should stop being user-friendly to this repeat betrayer.

Believe me,  you will continue loving him but that love will change & fade - IF you decide & do something.
Time heals all things. 

To sum it all up:

Not just because you love, you have to continue your Calvary.
Not because you love, you have no choice. 
Not because you love, you gotta take crap.

A lot of unwarranted suffering has & is endured; a lot of sh1t has & sticks to The Undeserving; &  a lot of "crimes"  have & are committed in the name of Love.

Decide to learn The Lesson, it will set you free.

[snix]

'm quoting this from my friend who posted it on facebook:
"
I don’t know why we all hang on to something when we know we’re better off letting go. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, when you let it all go, something better will come along."

rust me sis, i recently came from a breakup too, definitely, really hard amd it still hurts of course.. Nabubulag tayo when we love someone and we refuse to see what is right kahit na sinasampal na tayo ng katotohanan kasi sa totoo lang umaasa pa tayong magiging ayos din ang lahat but when you get past the hurt stage, you will start to realize na tama pala kaming lahat na nagpost dito.. Maybe it hurts when you remember the good times but think about what he's done or keep on doing..

Treat yourself with respect, you deserve more than that.. If you do that, you'll definitely find someone better who will treat you with respect.. Ang laki na ng ulo nung lalakeng yun dahil hinahayaan mo siyang bumalik sayo kahit na ganun na..

You know what they say na "walang maloloko kung walang magpapaloko?" I used to apply this rule when i found myself being bullied in school pero applicable din siya sa relationships tulad ng sayo..I recommend you try reading the book why men love b!tches..

 no one is in charge of your happiness except you and you won't get that from him or others.. praying for you sis

[tomatostellar]

quote from perks of being a wallflower
"We accept the love we think we deserve"

unahin mo muna sarili mo ts, coz you deserve better than that. paligiran mo ang sarili mo ng mga taong makakatulong sayo; makapag bigay ng courage to finally say IT'S OVER.
mukhang chornic cheater yan si bf, hindi naman pwede umasa na magbago pa yan.
so sayo talaga yung move.

hope you find happiness in the future w/ someone who respects you ♥

[sheyfashionizta]

..FIrst of all, i want to thank u guys for all the advices, im applying it now, Our status right now is very complicated, i off my fone and he keeps on nagging me thru text, bkit daw ako cant be reach, and he told me na baka daw may kasama ako.. naisip ko nalang, ginagawa nya kc kaya akala nya ganun din  ako, inshort paranoid, so i stop texting him, its 2 weeks already without any contacts and nakakaya ko naman little by little, i go out with friends and atlast i felt tired with my feelings, lately hindi ko na siya hinahanap.. and im glad i did it.. hope continues na yung ganito, i've check his fb page and i saw there na unfriend nya yung mga 3rd party nya, natetempt akong kausapin sya coz i thought tuluyan na siyang nagbabago but i control myself. i want to be strong most specially sa decision ko na totally magmove on.but i dont want to be hypocrite also, masyadong strong yung feelings e, kailangan labanan, hay ang hirap.. wish me luck,. im open for dating and night outs.. i guess its my tools to continue seeking my life and happiness for now..

[quinone]

^goodluck sis, kaya mo yan! one of these days matatawa ka na lang na nagustuhan mo siya at one point...

[Dyewel]

That's the spirit, but maybe SINGLE status is better than COMPLICATED?

And, I am sure you can find your happiness within your self.
Have a break, make your self whole before going into another relationship.

[baliwsayo]

Yes, we keep on loving even if it's obvious the object of our affection is not worth it. But we all get tired too. At least be comforted with the thought that you did everything in your power.. wala kang pagsisisihan pagdating ng araw na di ka man lang nagtiis at lumaban. Change your number na. Try not to talk to him na lang muna and unfriend him sa FB para wala ka na mabalitaan about him. Do everything to keep him out of your mind.

[mimiku]

You can never be really happy if you rely your happiness to other people.

LOVE YOURSELF, PUT IT ABOVE ALL OTHERS, YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL FIND LETTING GO EASY.

Big words eh?

But you have to start somewhere else.

Been through tough times myself, and in fact, I am still helping myself out of a catastrophe I'd let myself into last week. The thing is, it's all about mind control. It helps to cry out for help. If you seemed like you can't take it all in, confide to a friend. However, you should also open your ears, your heart to what they say.

Time always kills the pain.

Nonetheless, sweetie, like I said you've got to help yourself out.

It starts there.

Hoping for the best.

[sheyfashionizta]

Its been 3 weeks now, since i decided to walk away from him.. guess what his friend told me, ako pa daw ang may kasalanan.. he told his friends that the reason why i broke up with him was because i have  someone new.. Duh! ako pa ngayon napasama, Gosh! Love turns to hatred, thats what i feel now, gusto ko syang awayin pero pinipigilan ko lang sarili ko, much better na manahimik na lang ako, i was bothered of those paninira effect nya.. ako pa sisiraan and i found out that he is flirting again with other girls kasi daw niloko ko sya, gosh i dont know why there are people like this, i realized just now that i choose the wrong person to love, so sad