What would you feel? Your thoughts please.

[Awesomecakes]

Hi girls! Just wanna know your thoughts on this.

We're about to celebrate our 6th year anniv with my boyfriend. In years that we've been together, he ran out of ideas na so he ended up asking me kung ano ang gusto kong gift. I just told him to "surprise me", to prepare something na masusurprise talaga ako w/ effort and not just bec it's a material gift. Maybe he was not satisfied w/ my answer
kaya he asked my friend (my former officemate and a close friend of mine), he was open naman na he asked my friend na nagpapasama siya (to assist him sa pagpili ng gift for me) kaya lang parang busy so hindi rin sila natuloy.

Now, the thing is.. He ended up asking another girl.. I know this girl. We met her once sa Baguio trip namin ni boyfie kasi sinama siya ng isa kong girl friend. So in short, malayong friend na namin. Di ko alam pero out of nowhere kasi they became friends on Facebook, following on Twitter etc etc. I must admit, I feel paranoid (yes again) kasi I have trust issues. Pero given na talaga na sobrang friendly ng boyfriend ko which is lagi namin pinagaawayan before.

My question is.. What would you feel if this happened to you? Na yun girl you used to hate (get jealous of) ay pinagtatanungan ni boyfie kung ano ang ideas na pwede ipang-gift sayo? Would you appreciate it more than the thought of them being close kasi they're exchanging messages on Facebook? Tapos boyfie asked for the girl's number pa just in case my question siya. The girl suggested shops and stuff kasi para ibigay sa akin. So there.. What would you feel? Dapat ba na mas matuwa ako or should I get jealous?

[mslcgrey]

^ of course, since may trust issues ka nga and for you parang all of a sudden friends sila ng bf mo, ok lang to feel jealous. natural instinct naman yan. what you do with that feeling is one you can control. if ikaw naman ang pinag-uusapan nila and in a good way naman kasi your bf is thinking of gifts to give you then for now, don't let your jealousy ruin the gift. malay mo magustuhan mo yung gift na idea ng girl. maybe that will open the door for a friendship between you and the girl.

though, di ko alam paano ka pa masusurprise if alam mo lahat yata ng pinag-uusapan nila. 

[jamberryknots]

of all people bakit si girl ang natanong niya? does he know na hindi ka comfortable dun sa girl? if yes, then even more so na hindi dapat yun ang hiningan niya ng opinion..if no naman then maybe you could speak to him and tell him that yung communication nilang dalawa makes you uncomfortable..

i know meron points for effort but as i said bakit doon sa girl nagtanong na hindi niyo kaclose for me kasi if ever i'll be asking someone's opinion sa situation na yan i woould go for someone na kaclose nung person para mas kilala niya yung personality thus mas maging thoughtful ang gift

[kaiz]

maiirita ako and I will let him know na irritated ako

[Awesomecakes]

Sis mslcgrey - I can't help but check their conversation though binubura din ni boyfie after kasi nakikita ko na nagdidisappear yun paguusap nila. Though I know this is not a good habit. So far about me and the gift ang paguusap nila and eventually ended up about work na, parang si girl gusto lumipat sa company ni boyfie. I don't know pero parang mas ok na hindi ko na lang alam. I don't know what to feel.

This is not the first time na may issues ako sa mga nakakausap niyang girls. Usually kasi approachable siya kahit di niya ganoon ka-close ang isang tao. Basta feeling ni boyfie comfortable siya sayo then kakausapin ka niya as if you're close talaga.

Sis jamberryknots - To answer your question, No. He doesn't know yet that I'm not comfortable with him being close to that girl. Sobra dami na namin issues, same situation. He never cheated on me naman (as far as I know) and seen proof either. Just his closeness sa mga girls. Im just worried na baka ma-offend ko siya kasi mas inisip ko pa yun pagseselos ko more than the effort. I actually asked for it (na mageffort siya). As I've said he actually asked someone close to me na, yun friend ko na close na din sa kanya. Yun, understandable pa kasi she's a close friend. Pero hindi kasi sila natuloy so he ended up asking the other girl. Based on their conversation, si girl kasi ang naiisip or nakikita niyang fashionista sa list niya so siya ang naisip niyang tanungin. Ewan ko, am I just being paranoid or what?

Sis kaiz - I don't know how to say it kasi I invaded his privacy, which I know is my fault. For sure he'll get mad kasi I ruined the surprise. Or ako talaga yun mismong na-surprise kasi he asked that girl.

[polar_bear]

Based on their conversation, si girl kasi ang naiisip or nakikita niyang fashionista sa list niya so siya ang naisip niyang tanungin. Ewan ko, am I just being paranoid or what?

Pwede rin namang paranoid ka lang din sis, kaw na rin nagsabi na friendly bf mo at may reason bakit yun yung girl na nilapitan nya for help.  Mas maganda siguro kung hintayin mo nalang yung surprise nya syo.  Then, if after the surprise eh napansin mo na close pa rin sila at tuloy tuloy pa rin ang communication nila via fb at twitter, siguro, that is the time to intervene, at sabihin na hinde ka comfortable na nakikipagusap sya sa girl na yun.     

[Awesomecakes]

HI Girls!

We happily celebrated our 6th anniversary. I can see in his eyes na he's so excited about his gift. Na he asked other girls for ideas pa. I think he knew na alam ko kung sino yun tinanong niya, but still I asked. At first he was hesitant to tell me, pero he ended up sharing na din. I tried my best not to look jealous kasi in the first place, ako naman yun pinaguusapan nila. I thought mag-stop na yun conversation nila since the preparation for our anniv was over.. I can't help but check their conversation once in a while. That's the time I asked him, siguro after a week after our anniversary kasi di talaga ako comfortable.

We've been in this situation (him being close to girls) for so many times, so kahit paano alam ko na how to handle myself. I told him everything, what I feel and what are my thoughts.. etc etc. He then realized na oo nga, parang he's crossing the lines na. Though wala naman something na dapat ika-bother ko talaga.. I can't say they're flirting kasi work related naman usapan nila. It's just their closeness, may trauma na kasi ako dyan eh and he knows that. So to cut the story short, he stopped sending msgs na to that girl..

[Dyewel]

Congrats on your anniversary!

Mostly girls ba kapatid ng bf mo? if yes, that may explain kung bakit at-ease sya sa girl friends.

For me, dapat kang matuwa that your bf is one of those guys with a girls heart. I dont mean gay ha, that is totally another thing.  Pero yong guys na sensitive at nakaka-relate sa ating mga girls but remains manly?

[iluvmysoldier]

hi TS! curious lang ako, ano yung gift? 

[Awesomecakes]

Sis Dyewel - Yes sis (how did you know? Lol). He has FIVE sisters and that explains his closeness to girls. Siguro I got used to having same friends since college pa, guys or girls man, kilala ko lahat kaya I really don't get jealous. Thankful na lang din ako kasi he somehow understands me (he can be a girl at heart sometimes), trying his best para ilagay yun lugar niya sa posisyon ko. And I think he's mature enough sa responsibilities niya as my partner. Hindi naman siguro kami magtatagal ng six years kung loko-loko siya eh.

Sis iluvmysoldier - He gave me a dress, skirt and leggings (Aztec printed ones). Well that idea came from that girl. If you would ask me, I liked the gifts pero I'll like it more kung siya mismo ang nag-isip ng idea or he should have asked my friends who knows me better.

[iluvmysoldier]

i understand where you're coming from sis. kahit anong gift basta sya mismo may idea at sya nageffort eh mas maappreciate mo sana. yan tuloy nagkaron pa ng issue..basta be vigilant sis, asawa nga naagaw what more yung bf pa

[Awesomecakes]

^ I know sis. Sobrang vain pa naman ni bf and he always make sure that he looks good kaya he's attractive to girls. I know may mga nag-attempt na, I can feel (and sometimes I even see) it pero I guess hindi na lang niya sinasabi kapag nagtatanong ako. Kasi he knows that I'll get worried or something.

[baliwsayo]

Alam mo maski ibulsa natin sila, pag gusto nila gumawa ng kalokohan, gagawa sila. I suggest then that you focus more on yourself and not on him para di ka ma-paranoid. Be the best girlfriend na lang para in case may umepal, hindi siya magpapaagaw. 

[may12]

Bakit hindi nalang siya sa sisters niya nagtanong? Hehe...

[Awesomecakes]

Alam mo maski ibulsa natin sila, pag gusto nila gumawa ng kalokohan, gagawa sila. I suggest then that you focus more on yourself and not on him para di ka ma-paranoid. Be the best girlfriend na lang para in case may umepal, hindi siya magpapaagaw. 

You have a point sis. Siguro I got traumatized lang talaga before. May mga pinagdaanan na kasi kaming problema but still I didn't see any proof naman that he cheated on me. Tsaka hindi naman siya nagkulang ng time sa akin, and I think that's the most important thing naman. We're also tyring to be open as much as possible, since six years na kami dapat alam na namin paano i-handle ang mga problem. So far wala naman na kami problem.

[popi]

Sis, clueless kasi talaga ang mga guys when it comes to gifting.  Esp since they know that their tastes are not the same as yours.

Partly your fault din kasi sinagot mo sya ng "kahit ano".  Buti nga hindi ka binili ng type ng gift that he would personally enjoy, like a toy or computer game 

[Awesomecakes]

Sis, clueless kasi talaga ang mga guys when it comes to gifting.  Esp since they know that their tastes are not the same as yours.

Partly your fault din kasi sinagot mo sya ng "kahit ano".  Buti nga hindi ka binili ng type ng gift that he would personally enjoy, like a toy or computer game 

Well the main reason is kasi he asked other girls kasi wala siyang idea sa latest trend ngayon. Thankful na din ako kasi he made an effort to look for something that he knows I will surely love

[tomatostellar]

imo you have to work out on your trust issue, you said 6 years na kayo..
i think kung ako nasa lagay mo maiirita din ako, pero it's going to be a cycle if you don't work out yung cause nyan
ps. happy anniversary ♥

[hawhaw]

^paano ba mawala un trust issues? tingin ko pareho kami ni author. dahil din sa work at officemate ni bf. 9 yrs na kami, pero ngayon lang ako nagkaganto.

[Awesomecakes]

imo you have to work out on your trust issue, you said 6 years na kayo..
i think kung ako nasa lagay mo maiirita din ako, pero it's going to be a cycle if you don't work out yung cause nyan
ps. happy anniversary ♥

I don't know what to do kasi nature na ni boyfie ang maging friendly. Malaking factor kasi he grew up with five sobrang kulit na sisters. No dull moments pag sila ang kasama talaga.

Actually we have plans na on getting married two yrs from now pero I'm not comfortable na I still feel this kind of sht. As Ive said no proof naman na he cheats on me pero him being close to girls, ayoko talaga.