very confusing guy

[|:AyemZia:|]

just got back here in GT... after more than a year of not visiting... and i must say, i really am glad to be back! i've missed this...

here's my situation:
i have a male friend at the office. we've known each other for quite some time now (we've met through a common friend). we always hang out (at break times), with groups or even just the two of us. we became really close and it came to a point in our friendship that i fell for him. but the said feeling disappeared immediately, maybe because i'm becoming more and more at ease with him that i'm only seeing him now as a brother. one night (while we're eating somewhere near the office, just the two of us), i don't know what came over me but i managed to admit my feelings for him. but before he could react, i also told him that the feeling was quite short-lived and that was before. he neither acknowledge or reject it. but even after that, we still treat each other the same. what i don't get is that, he has this weird attitude of doing sweet gestures to me. like for an instance, i emailed one of our guy friends and when he found out about it, he acts as if he's jealous. yes he said that in a playful manner but he never kid like that before. and there's this another time that he asked me to go to the mall with him. he insisted even though i already turned him down twice. and those simple side-way glances to me while we're working at the office. I've caught him doing it like 5 times a day.

am i just imagining things or he's just playing? right now, i really don't know what to think... i don't want to jump into conclusions that's why i'm asking for your insights. especially, guys'... thanks so much in advance!!!

[sacred cow]

I guess he likes you too and kinda testing the waters. his actions are his way of trying to see how you'd react to his banats/hirits.

what do you want to happen ba? for your relationship to grow into something deeper or stay as friends?

[joeygirly]

if you're both singles and kinikilig ka naman sa ganung gestures niya edi good for you sister! but yes it's important not to jump into conclusions baka naman kasi he's just playing around which is mejo odd para gawin pa niya since you've both build good friendship (unless hindi importante sakanya yun)
Just listen to our guy talkers here para you know what to do since this might be a start of something new for you sis. (ako na tatalon sa konklusyon para sayo)

[|:AyemZia:|]

@sacred cow: aww.. i will be super glad if that's what he really feels. most of the time naman if he do those things, palaging pang-aasar yung sagot ko sa kanya. like i'm not really affected. (pahard-to-get ba ko?) right now, i really don't know what i want. kase nga tapos na ko dun sa stage na gusto ko siya e pero dahil sa mga sweet gestures niya, eto na naman ako. i think i'm falling for him again. but i don't want him to know that. baka nga kase nagkakamali lang ako ng conclusion.

@joeygirly: yah! you have no idea how much he makes me kilig everytime he does those sweet things to me. pero talaga nakakatakot mag-risk. umabot pa nga sa point na i tried to avoid him e pero talagang mahirap kase he's so makulit minsan.

thanks to you both for your POVs! i really appreciate it!

[sacred cow]

ask him to hang out...do action dates like bowling/billiards/wall climbing/ice skating

tapos get some drinks sa isang lounge, para magkaalaman na

[|:AyemZia:|]

@sacred cow: action dates talaga? why? hindi ako mahilig dun e. pero we're both into sports naman. konting observation pa kaya? watchathink?

[sacred cow]

^ para hindi kayo ma-bore at para may chance for you to touch each other kahit yung mga simpleng high-five lang, ayun kung may sport kayong pareho gusto like badminton...why not do that?
pero since ikaw naman yung babae at mukhang gusto mo siya, kahit naman yata anong gawin nyo kahit coffee or movie lang e safe na si guy from being friendzoned...hahaha

[tough_guy]

^friendzoned?? pwede

kung more than 5 glances na yan, at kahit ilang turned down mo na sa kanya pero siya pero consistent pa rin, gusto ka talaga niya torpe lang siguro? kung siya na gumagawa ng move like going to mall or date well its up to you kung sasama ka  may feeling ka ba na parang nanliligaw ba siya? give it a try na patulan ang mga moves niya baka kiligin pa siya

[ragnar_danneskjold]

maybe he's feeling a little ambivalent about going into a relationship. konting sundot nalang yan, liligawan ka na. why don't you go out on a date na ikaw mag-yaya. close naman kayo diba. i don't think he's confusing. the way i see it, gusto ka nya. woiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

[Girltalker2]

teka, si guy ba eh unattached?  kasi baka may attachments kaya nagdadalawang isip.

enjoy lang the times with him, pero huwag mo hayaan mahulog ang loob mo for someone who is also unsure about you.

[|:AyemZia:|]

awww... thank you for all your insights! 

ayun nga ang medyo confusing kase hindi naman siya mukhang nanliligaw e. puro ganon lang siya. kaya nga siguro ako natatakot.
kaya nga sabi ko minsan i'm trying na rin na iwasan siya para hindi na ko mafall pero shempre it's impossible since sobrang nasanay na siya na ako lagi ang kasama. hindi ko naman pdeng sabihin sa kanya yung reason bakit ako umiiwas. i don't want to go there again.
friendzoned tlaga? hahaha!
at ang risk pa nga, if ever he really likes me at natuloy nga na magkaron kame ng relationship, parang ang hirap pag hindi nagwork out. masisira na rin yung friendship. d ba?
ang gulo ko ba? sorry ha... confused talaga ako e. ;p

[tough_guy]

ok sige ganto sis, assume mo lahat ay pakulo lang nya, siguro special ka lang talaga sa kanya kaya hanggang doon na lang siya. awkward naman kung itatanong mo sa kanya na "nanliligaw ka ba sa akin?" hehe siguro nga ganun talaga siya or di natin alam ginagawa din niya sa iba yun mas mahirap naman yun. di natin sure? would you mind if you talk to him seriously? hmmmm or try mo itext mo minsan mag i love you ka. check mo reaction niya hihih

[Girltalker2]

sis ayemzia, huwag lang seryosohin kung hindi din naman sya mag p profess ng love/interest nya, kung meron man hehe.  payo lang naman. pero nasa sa iyo rin iyan. ganyan ba ang type mo maging bf?  mahilig magligoy ligoy, at walang guts to say/do what he wants? 

sakin kasi sa getting to know stage na ganyan, inoobserbahan ko na yung guy. kung medyo d-duwag duwag, di sya uubra sakin. kung paligoy ligoy na parang hindi man lang klaro magsalita or hindi makabuo ng statement, bahala na sya sa buhay nya at puede ka pa naman maghanap ng ibang ka date. iyan lang naman sakin, confidence for me and being clear/upfront/true to his words ang tipo ko kasi, kaya pag ganyan, turn off nako.

[blisstacy]

For me, I don't take it against the guy if unsure pa siya.  Mas okay nga na chinecheck niya mabuti mga circumstances and his preparing bago pumasok sa relationship. 

May mga guy friends ako na ganun.  Date or hang out muna observing and matagal magdecide whether they will court the girl or not.  Well, since admittedly mahaba naman time ng mga guys to scout.   

When I was younger, I'd prefer nga na wala nang paligoy-ligoy pa.  Pero after a failed relationship wherein hindi pala ready maging serious ex ko and talking with my guy friends and seeing their logic ... I find it reasonable nga na may ganung mga guys.    Haha reasonable kasi hindi na siya as magical and romantic as we hope parang may kasamang mind na and not purely heart like we watch in romance movies and hear from love stories but I think it creates a more stable foundation.
Well, at least that's for a practical person like me. 

[Girltalker2]

^ sis don't get me wrong ha. I am not taking it against the guy. Pero feeling ko mga guys na "unsure" eh hindi kelangan pag aksayahan ng oras kasi ikaw din ang lugi sa huli. Mamaya asa ka ng asa eh wala ka naman mapapala. 

Ang point ko lang, satin mga girls, dapat hindi tayo nag-aantay sa wala.  If the guy is unsure, move on.  Dapat free tayo to look out for other guys din who we think are interesting and we can be compatible with. Hindi yun nakatunganga lang tayo waiting for 1 guy na hindi alam kung anong gagawin nya.  So if ever he chooses to look the other way at hindi ituloy ang interest sayo, ok lang, kasi you have moved on naman, and also have choices.  Pero kung humabol sya, he has to prove it, then if things work out, di puede maging kayo. 

[tough_guy]

hanggang ganyan na lang ba siya? di ka man lang tinanong na "pwede bang manligaw?" ilang taon na ba siyang ganyan? or months? ilan taon na ba siya? daming kong tanong haha

^agree ako sa sinasabi ni Girltalker2

[blisstacy]

Ah I get you sis.  Since both naman kayo not committed kahit pa nga official na nanligaw si guy, technically you should be open to all talaga.  You can date several guys pa rin naman kahit ilan pa suitor mo hihi.   What I mean is lang don't exclude him sa consideration if in case natagalan siya manligaw haha.

Post modified. Please refrain from quoting long posts. use the ^ or @ sign instead. 

[gylbie]

  typical guy... hehe.. mga lalaki talaga gumagawa ng "da moves" if nalaman nila na crush pala sila ng girl... hahaha... gusto lagi makasiguro... hahahaha...

kung ako nasa situation mo... ask ko na si guy kesa maguluhan ako.. tutal nasabi ko na rin naman sa kanya dati na like ko siya.. hahaha... so ano ba naman i-ask ko na kung nangliligaw ba siya o what? hahahaha... kung negative ang sagot, di sagutin mo ng biro rin.. hahaha.. if positive.. mas masaya... happy lahat!

[sacred cow]

he who hesitates masturbates

[|:AyemZia:|]

ang saya! dame nyo insights na binigay sa ken! thanks!

well, sa totoo lang, i can't really go and be forward to him again. parang hindi ko na kaya ulitin yung ginawa ko dati. until now i'm still shocked sa naging courage ko that time na umamin ako sa kanya e. para ngang once in a lifetime lang at hindi na pwedeng maulit. siguro what makes me hesitant this time e kase hindi naman nga siya umaamin, kung meron man siyang aaminin. puro ganyan lang siya. hindi rin naman ako sa kanya lang nagfofocus. i just wanted to know lang yung meaning ng mga "da moves" nya or kung yun nga ang tawag dun. ayokong mag-assume pero kase based on my observation, sa ken lang siya ganun umasta e. pwede rin naman siguro dahil lang sa sobrang at ease at comfortable na siya sa ken kaya tingin nya sa ken "harmless"! hahaha!

yesterday may ginawa na naman siyang nagpakilig sa ken. like yung inayos nya yung collar ng shirt ko. hindi ko expected naloka ako! saka he complimented me din. nung sinabihan ko yung isang officemate namen ng preggy na maganda, sumingit ba naman siya at sinabing "bakit? maganda ka rin naman a!" after he said that, awkward! hindi ko alam sasabihin ko. poker face na lang pero deep inside, nagtatumbling na yung "inner goddess" ko! [sorry, medyo may aftershock lang sa fifty shades trilogy]