HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...

[Scubadoobidoo]

Sometimes kasi its how they were raised as a kid. After getting married we live with my folks din kasi matanda na sila and no one will take care of them. Kaya naman hati pero my parents know pag inapi nila wife ko magkakaproblema kami. Whats right is right whats wrong is wrong

[ava_garde]

Hi switblububbles. Question lang, other than hindi pagpaalam nun mother nya nun umalis sila nun baby mo, may iba pa ba kayo pinag-awayan?

Yun situation mo kasi now, parang sa akin. Yun nga lang, ako yu nasa situation ng hubby mo. Tapos sya yun kaaway ng family ko. And para sa amin nasa gitna, ang hirap ng situation namin kasi kahit anong piliin mo, un nasa middle pa dn ang lalabas na masama. Either masamang anak or masamang asawa lang talaga ang labas mo.

[switblububbles]

^meron ng previous issue sis...binastos ni MIL yung sis ko nung dinalaw ako...

[mslcgrey]

^ what do you mean binastos sis? wala pa rin bang decision ang hubby mo regarding your situation? how are you doing na?

[sleepybear]

nakakaloka ang situation mo sis. if ganyan hubby ko, edi bumalik siya sa lungga niya kung yun gusto niya. kaimbernadet! nagasa-asawa tapos parang walang pinagkatandaan (sorry for the term)

[izabelle]

I'm sorry to say this pero kung ganyan ugali nya at pag iisip nya matuwa ka pa naghiwalay na kayo.

IMO, aanuhin mo buong pamilya kung ang asawa mo hindi ka kayang ipaglaban sa nanay nya? ok given nanay nya yun pero kasal na kayo at dapat IKAW at ANAK nyo ang priority nya hindi nanay nya.

Mahirap kasi makisama talaga at dapat talaga nakabukod e. Pangit nakikisama kasi mas malamang ang conflict. Mabibilang mo lang ang nakikisama sa In Laws na NEVER nagkaissue pero ganon pa man, iba pa din naka bukod at may sariling bahay.

Just focus sa baby mo. Kaya mo yan. Girl power ika nga! hindi natin kailangan ng asawa na cannot even defend us sa nanay nila

[sleepybear]

^i agree sis, i'd rather raise my child alone than have her know a father who couldn't stand for his OWN family.

[Dyewel]

^I am living with them for almost a year before kame ikasal...Kala ko nga talagang okay na okay na kame nung family nya...until ikasal kame...everything changed.

Hindi na namin napagusapan kung aalis kame dun and how soon. Hindi ko na ginawang big deal kase nga close ako sa fam nya

Yun ang mali ko dapat kinlear ko sa kanya yun...

ano ang mga nagbago after the wedding? siguro dapat mo ding i-evaluate ang sarili mo (honestly) kung may nagbago din ba sa you after ninyong ikasal?

after ng kasal namin, i was jealous of my hubbys family. Feeling ko sila pa rin priiority niya. Nagiging mainitin ang ulo ko at madaling magalit kahit maliit na kasalanan lang because of jealousy.  That time, i know na magiging masama lamang ako sa paningin ni hubby and in-laws kung i-voice out ko ang nararamdaman ko. So I kept cool. Then, I realize na hindi mawawala ang problema ko, his family will always be there and I need to live with that. Also, gusto kong lumaki ang baby namin with close family bond. He is a good son, a good brother, and now i appreciate him more  being a good husband and father.

"Family" is not formed dahil lang nagpakasal kayo, you have to work on it. And he is with his family for 36 years, hindi mo sya pwedeng biglang ihiwalay sa family nnya dahil lang gusto mo.

I do pray na maayos ang marriage ninyo.

[googoo]

I'm glad that you are apologizing to your in laws.  I just hope you are doing this because you understand that you also made a mistake. Your story was half baked, thus all the questions from our fellow girl talkers.  It is our responsibility to respect the elderly, and the designated head of the family, which in this case was suppose to be your husband.

If you were living with your in laws before you got married, perhaps you were the one who changed when you got married?  Perhaps you were expecting more from your husband, things that he was not ready for?

I'm hoping to open your mind a little bit.  It's not just about you.  You don't have the prerogative to self pity because you have a baby to look out for.  If you can control yourself, and be more gentle and womanly, perhaps your husband will realize that his love for his child and wife is stronger than that of his family.

[yanmae]

Haaay.. ganyan din ako sis pero sa akin okay naman mga inlaws ko ayaw ko lang eh yung mismong ugali ni hubby ngayon, nagiging dependent sya sa parents nya. At Hinding hindi rin kame pipiliin ni hubby over his family at ganun din ang reason, ayaw nyang mahirapan, ayaw nyang kumita sa sarili nyang paghihirap, kesho maliit sahod pag nag apply sya basta daming reasons! ang layo ng mga pag rarason nya dati nung nalaman nya na buntis ako.. Dati reaksyon nya sobrang na-touch ako kasi ang tunog nya eh napaka responsable nya, ngayon hindi na!

[bella_cor]

@swit, i'm curious, did you go to church or pray together ni hubby?

well, sabi nga, the family that prays together, stays together.

sana magkaayos pa kayo, in time..

[switblububbles]

^yes sis we go together with his fam every Sunday. and every Wed the two of us.

I already apologized to his family...And he said he is happy about what I did...He came back to being sweet to me after that.

We havent talked about "us" anymore...Our last official status is we're separated.

We are just casual to each other for our daughter.  All conversation about our daughter only.

And I think it's better this way...

Maayos kame pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa syang tanggapin bilang partner. He left me when I needed him the most.

[still_hoping]

Hi sis switblububbles, it's been a while. The last time I visited the site you were about to get married pa lang and now sinasabi mo ng "last official status is we're separated.".  Sad to hear that.

I don't know what happened pero ang palaging sinasabi ng mom ko dati - "ang asawa, bigay ni God yan, dapat pinaglalaban".  When you entered into marriage, it's not just a commitment between you and your hubby but between you, your hubby and God.  Kapag tinanggal nyo S'ya sa center eh hindi talaga maganda ang ending nyo.  It is not all about going to church but having a relationship with Him.  Ngayong separated na kayo, just pray for your husband, his family and your baby na soon eh maging maayos na kayo. Sa separation, lahat kayo talo pero ang highly affected eh si baby nyo.

It's good to know that you asked for forgiveness kasi it takes two to tango naman talaga.  Isa pa sa palaging reminder sa akin, do not expect too much on a person dahil wala namang makakapagbigay sa atin ng perfect love but God kasi lahat ng tao may pagkukulang may it be your parents or your hubby.

Sana maging maayos pa kayo..

[switblububbles]

^ Hi sis...How are you? Thanks for the advice. Miss texting with you...

Yeah sis...very sad to know that our marriage turned out this way...I don't wanna say "ended" coz im still hopeful somehow that it can still be saved.

I think I did my part sis...Im just waiting for him to take his  turn.

Yeah It is wrong I expected too much from him...that he will follow me wherever I will be but was proven wrong

Thanks sis! Im still praying that everything will be fine soon...for our baby

[Ichiro]

hmmm...

5 pages and I am still not convinced that the story is complete...

first of all... why would your husband choose his mother? did you give him the option to choose? nakipagtalo ka ba at sinabi mong "mamili ka... kami ng anak mo o ang nanay mo?"... kung wala ka naman sinasabi... i find it weird na bigla nya lang sasabihin sayo na "hindi ako sasama... I choose my mom"... did you ask him why?

tingin ko kulang ang kuwento mo... nung paalis na kayo ng bahay ano ba ang nangyari? inihatid ka ba sa lilipatan nyo? nag away ba kayo? pinag usapan nyo ba yan?

kung hindi mo bubuuin ang kuwento at sasabihin mo lang ang side na napuno ka na or binastos ka at yung sister mo ng MIL mo... paano ka makakakuha ng fair judgment sa amin... we will only tell you tama ka... kasi yan lang ang sinasabi mo e... you have to tell us what really happened...

logically... pipiliin lang ng asawa mo ang pamilya nya kung

1. may nakikita syang mali sa ginawa mo

2. nakikita nyang tama ang magulang nya

3. lumayas ka ng kusa at iniwan sya

[ashara]

nalungkot naman ako sa story mo sis!

buti si hubby di ganyan sakin sila pa ngaaway ng mamy niya ako pa taga awat at minsan kampi pako sa
MIL ko kasi mali talaga si hubby


kapag naman my sinasabi saking di maganda ang MIL ko nagsusumbong ako sa hubby ko
at piangtatanggol niya ako sa mamy niya...

[cloudzy_09]

May mga cousin din ako ganyan they are good guys naman kaya lang hindi nila talaga kaya humiwalay sa nanay nila. Ganyan talaga pag nakikituloy kayo sa inlaws mo hindi maiiwasan mag aaway kayo. I just hope onti onti maayos ang relasyon ninyo ng inlaw mo at asawa mo at this point kasi out of the question na kung sino ang tama at sino ang mali ang isipin na lang is kung ano makakabuti sayo and your little angel. Mas makakatulong din siguro kung huwag ka muna mag bitaw ng mga masasakit na salita sa hubby mo I know your frustrated sa kanya kaya lang pag mag aaway pa kayo baka mas lalo lumiit yung chance na mag kasundo pa kayo.

[quennna]

so proven talaga na.. di pwedeng magsama ang dalawang reyna sa isang bahay..
de numero lahat.. kilos mo, diskarte mo...
granted sis na nag apologize ka na sa mga inlaws mo..
since umalis ka na ng bahay.. manindigan ka na...
move forward kahet mahirap... sa tamang panahon..
aamuhin ka rin ng asawa mo.. (sana.. )

tanong lang.. anong comment ng family mo? parents mo? siblings mo?
kasi sa family namin, may role ang mga magulang pag may lumapit na anak na humihingi ng tulong..

[margeL]

this is one of my biggest fears - coming to a point that my hubby will choose his family over me/us .

but i do hope you are better now sis, for yourself and for your baby. always pray sis!

[donya_dyosa]

Iam reading old posts... curious ako what happend to you na ts? I kinda hope your with someone new na... medyo immature yata si hubby mo.. pero mas better sana kung nagkabalikan kayo at nagmature.nakayong dalawa.... any updates?