HUBBY chose my inlaws over me...

[princessrio]

yan lang ba naging problema nyo?

para kasing napaka-odd na andun na e..lilipat na..tapos biglang ganon ganon na lang? kasi kung talagang ayaw nya umalis sa bahay nila at hindi nya kaya na lumipat, sa una pa lang hindi na yan papayag na maghanap kayo ng malilipatan.

[switblububbles]

^yun nga sis eh...nung una pareho pa kameng nghahanap ng lilipatan...tapos nung meron na bigla nya ko iniwan sa ere....

[pink_saphire]

sis i feel for you, pero eto isipin mo, my gaaaad!!! napaka simpleng dahilan lang tungkol lang sa paglipat nyo ng bahay nakipag hiwalay na agad sayo? di ba pwedeng kausapin ka muna nya at makiusap na pagtiisan mo nalang muna yung MIL mo,? nakakaloka siya, tama mga sis natin dito na wala siyang balls!!

kasi napaka simple ng problema hiwalay agad, at sis sa sinabi nyang he chose his family over you para ka na nyang sinampal non eh, hindi ka nya girlfriend, asawa ka nya at may anak kayo, pano na kung dumating pa yung araw na mabigat na problema na minsan di naiiwasan sa mag asawa edi pano na?? 29yrs old na siya so dapat umakto siya ng naayon sa age nya, para siyang bata na laging nakatago sa saya ng mom nya, given nga kasi mom nya yun, pero responsibility nya kau ng baby nyo pero wala siya non.

give him time para mag isip, at pra ma realized nya na pamilya nya rin kayo, so anung pinagsasabi nya na mas pinipili nya yung family nya kesa sayo? wag ka munang makipag communicate sa kanya kung ayaw nya, wag kang maawa sa baby mo kasi alam mong nandyan ka, oo mahirap pero anong gagawin mo kung siya na mismo ang nagdesisyon.  tumpak si sis may 24

how can he raise a child if he is a child himself... isip bata!

kaya mo yan sis, pray ka lang at tutulungan ka niya. hugs

[princessrio]

^yun nga sis eh...nung una pareho pa kameng nghahanap ng lilipatan...tapos nung meron na bigla nya ko iniwan sa ere....

yun nga..maybe there's something more "i choose my family over you" thing.

[switblububbles]

^pakiramdam ko may iba syang reason...pero he guaranteed no third party involved.

i want to save our marriage pero anghirap kung ako lang...

[michkeil]

sis all I can say just give him time... and while you are clueless just stand alone for your baby... what comes worst you need to accept it and turned it to a better... i'm sure your baby will be proud of you... 

[FoxyPhoenix]

sweetie, i'm sorry to here this.. be strong for your baby. and pray pray pray, talk to God. nothing is impossible with God sis. surround yourself with your friends.. yaan mo muna ang mga nangyayari, avoid arguments muna instead try to understand things. hugs for you sweetie...

[switblububbles]

^thanks sis...

strong is really a BIG WORD...as much as I want it I fails sometimes...and its really hard to be strong when you are alone...

[marose17]

Bago kayo kinasal, napag-usapan ba ninyo na sa in-laws kayo titira? 

[switblububbles]

^I am living with them for almost a year before kame ikasal...Kala ko nga talagang okay na okay na kame nung family nya...until ikasal kame...everything changed.

Hindi na namin napagusapan kung aalis kame dun and how soon. Hindi ko na ginawang big deal kase nga close ako sa fam nya

Yun ang mali ko dapat kinlear ko sa kanya yun...

[marose17]

^  While I agree that you have the right to be upset with your in-laws because they brought your baby out without asking you first, the course of action that you chose to take was rather harsh and sudden.  Naipit ang husband mo.  At first, he agreed na bumukod kayo then he changed his mind.   Perhaps, kinausap siya ng family niya at mas nanaig sa kanya ang pagiging part ng family na iyon rather than being with you and your child.  Masakit isipin but based on your description eh mukhang dependent ang husband mo sa pamilya niya, maybe not financially, but there are strong ties that bind him to them.

If I were in your shoes, I will swallow my pride and initiate communication with my husband.  Talk things over. If you do not communicate, you will never know what is going on in his mind.  Set aside muna yung anger mo.  Marriage is compromise.  Walang away na hindi nadadaan sa masinsinang usapan.

[switblububbles]

^yes sis I realized that already...That it is my mistake that I left the house and made it a bigger issue....

I want to talk to him but he doesnt want to...I can feel he can't face me yet.

[mslcgrey]

^ sis, have you talked your in-laws? like sis marose17, medyo harsh nga ang naging reaction mo when they take your baby without your knowledge. i guess, sila ang nagbabantay kay baby while the two of you are at work, so since nasa work ka eh sinama na rin nila.

also, nung nagkasagutan na kayo ng in-laws mo, what did your husband do? ano naging initial reaction? sinubukan niya bang pag-ayusin muna kayo ng mom niya? ideally, sana hindi siya nakipaghiwalay ng ganyan but tandaan natin na family pa rin niya iyon. mas matagal niyang kasama sila compared to you.

if ayaw pa ng hubby mo then MIL mo kaya kausapin mo. say sorry. if maging maayos kayo, baka sila pa ang kumausap at gumawa ng paraan para magka-ayos kayo ng hubby mo.

try mo muna ayusin ang marriage nyo but of course be ready rin for whatever happens. be strong for your baby.

[switblububbles]

^di ko ata kayang gawin yan sis na makipagusap pa sa inlaws ko...

they will be very happy to know na nagkahiwalay kame dahil sila ang pinili...

i prefer na si hubby nalang ang kausapin ko.

[glamorosa_09]

Sis sa isang taong nakikisama kayo sa in-laws mo, how did you deal with your in-laws? Baka marami kang nagawa o nasabi against your in laws that hurt your husband hanggang sa napuno na sya?

Understandable naman kung nanggagalaiti ka sa inis sa in laws mo, pero it's a different thing kung nakikipagsagutan ka na sa kanila. If that's the case, you disrespected not only your in laws but your husband as well. If you want to make peace with your husband, I guess you start it out with his family.

Ganon ba kababaw ang husband mo para iwan nya kayo because of the luxury and comfort you mentioned? O baka may mabigat ka ring nagawa/nagagawa that elicited his decision?

[switblububbles]

^5 yrs kame in a relationship before marriage...okay na okay kame ng inlaws ko...

Twice lang ako nakipagsagutan sa MIL ko dahil napuno nako...

I really dont know kase nung start he even talked to my family that he's willing to accept that we live on our own na.

[imbisibol_]

legal recourse- if he is not supporting you financially, file an abandonment case.

emotional recourse- when he comes grovelling back, DENY him entry into your lives.  revenge is best served cold.

immediate recourse- let your husband stay where he wants.  he likes his milk bottle where he's at.  that- or he's probably still nursing straight from the nipple.

[babyboo.0326]

^i couldn't agree more here 

[loveann]

hi sis! same tayo ng situation before, ang ginawa ko I stay on my own(leave the house), you need space with your in laws and hubby, ako kasi pinarealize ko na mali sila sa mga pinagagawa nila and then sila naman ang nagsorry sa akin, pero case to case basis kasi eh, malamang mama's boy din ang hubby mo! same here pero kasi you need to accept the truth at saka nun una pa lang dapat humiwalay na kayo if ever magclash pala kayo at the end, ako kasi hindi ako pede umalis sa house ni hubby kasi kami nagbabayad ng bahay eh, so tiis ganda minsan pero alam naman nila kung ano ugali ako, baka nagaadjust ka sis at sila din.

[marose17]

When you said "napuno ako" does it mean that there were other events (aside from the two instances that you mentioned) that led you to fighting your mother-in-law?  Did your husband know about those events na nakapagpapuno sa iyo?  Why did your relationship with the in-laws turn sour after you married your husband kung okay kayo when you were still living there at their house before the wedding?