Out of curiosity, would you settle to be the other woman?

[vermich]

I do not know where I can ask this question.. although reading on this thread, most will say no being a mistress out of morality and respect for oneself and  for a grieved party. Pero what do you say to a kabit na hindi talaga umaayaw sa relasyon even though sobrang nakasakit na sya? Pinaglalaban pa rin yung emotion and time etc that she invested with the guy kahit ayaw na ng guy sa kanya. Even yung guy nagpalit na ng number, totally avoiding the woman pero eto si kabit stalking mode on parin.

Ano magandang ipayo sa kanya? Nasabi na namin magkaroon naman sya ng self- respect sa sarili, isipin na lang anong sasabihin ng ibang tao sa ginagawa nya, na sumira sya ng magandang family, that there are more fish in the sea at sa ganda nyang yun marami pang mahuhumaling sa kanya. I am running out of options kasi what to do. 

[simang]

^i dont think someone that stupid will ever listen to anyone. just let her be. let her learn her lesson hard. at least that's what I'd do if she's my friend.

[MsAphrodite]

For me hindi. There would come a time na kakailanganin mamili nung guy. Sino ba naman ang babaeng gusto maging kabit diba? And if incase na andun na nga sa situation na yun, i think, 2 things lang ang pwede, it's either you end it, and move on, mabigat sa feeling na alam mong any time pwede kayong mahuli, and hindi lang mabigat, nakakatakot, 'cause if that time comes, ikaw ang mali. And the second is to make him choose, oo wala kang karapatan mag demand ng ganyan, pero you have to have something that you could grasp on. Hindi habang buhay gugustuhin mong maging kabit or other woman. Ayun, and if he chooses his original girl, atleast alam mong wala syang balak na pang habang buhay sayo. If he chooses you, nasa sayo rin yan. Kasi mahirap din. Pero worth it naman i think. Pero hindi ka na matatahimik, kasi anytime, pwede nyang gawin yung ginawa nya before.

[vermich]

^i dont think someone that stupid will ever listen to anyone. just let her be. let her learn her lesson hard. at least that's what I'd do if she's my friend.

yun nga eh, hindi ko sya friend. Mistress sya ng bil ko na iniwan na pero nangugulo pa rin.

Yung may kabit, sarili lang nya iniisip nya. For his own enjoyment and ego lang yan and no one else's, not even the kabit, in the end.

yan din inisip ko. napaka selfish ni bil not to think about the welfare of my sister lalo na at delicate ang pregnancy at yung girl kung ma-fall hard sa kanya. Pero he said natukso lang daw sya and 3 months ago pa nya iniwan yung girl, pero si girl habol ng habol. Wish ko makausap itong si girl bakit panay habol kay bil. Hindi naman gwapo or mayaman, to think mas malaki pa shod ng sister ko in 2 weeks than his 2 months worth. Hindi rin naman daw buntis sabi sa office nila, feeling ko lang may pagka lukaret na si girl para magmakaawa na wag syang iwan..

[meisaia]

maybe I would just to know how it feels.

[stunning_anne]

Thank you for all the inputs..

[Girltalker2]

yun nga eh, hindi ko sya friend. Mistress sya ng bil ko na iniwan na pero nangugulo pa rin.

yan din inisip ko. napaka selfish ni bil not to think about the welfare of my sister lalo na at delicate ang pregnancy at yung girl kung ma-fall hard sa kanya. Pero he said natukso lang daw sya and 3 months ago pa nya iniwan yung girl, pero si girl habol ng habol. Wish ko makausap itong si girl bakit panay habol kay bil. Hindi naman gwapo or mayaman, to think mas malaki pa shod ng sister ko in 2 weeks than his 2 months worth. Hindi rin naman daw buntis sabi sa office nila, feeling ko lang may pagka lukaret na si girl para magmakaawa na wag syang iwan..

Oh dear, another example of inutil na hubby. Wala nang naidulot sa pamilya, di pa kaya magpakain at wife pa pala ang breadwinner.

In situations like this, hindi dapat ang mistress ang kelangan mo kausapin. Yung malandi mong BIL. Di naman papatol yung hitad kung hindi din nagpromise ang BIL mo.  Your BIL is worthless. Kawawa lang sis mo sa kanya, baka mas mainam na umalis nalang kaya sya at hayaan nyang magpakasaya yung dalawa.  She deserves a lot better than what she is getting now.

[wildorchid]

No. Having born in a family with a philandering dad, i will never, ever try to understand women who put themselves in this situation.

Alam nyo ba yung stress na naidudulot nyo sa pamilya ng kinakabitan nyo? My mom would call me in the wee hours of morning just to cry. I was in law school, then, 2-3hrs ang tulog and ive been juggling the stress in school at sa bahay. My younger siblings cannot understand why my mom was grumpy and crying most of the time and i cannot tell them naman why. Wala silang idea kasi minors pa sila. Baka mawalan sila respeto sa dad ko. My dad would ask me to tell my mom that he is with me althroughout the night and wala ako magawa but to lie to my mom kasi papatigilin ako sa pagaaral pag sinuway ko sya. I became depressed and i even thought of taking my own life dahil sa pressure.

Would your happiness compensate the damage youve been inflicting in the legal family? Sorry mga sis ha, kung may natatamaan man, pero im speaking here as per experience. Dont be proud na hinahabol kayo ng may asawa.. in the first place, be ashamed of the status you are in. Nagsusumiksik kayo sa may pamilya na. May anak yon, may asawa. Papano kung nagbisyo na lang ako para makalimutan yung sitwasyon ko noon? Nakasira pa ng buhay.

Hindi pedeng dahil mahal nyo kaya di nyo maiwan. Love is a positive feeling, dont be selfish. Wag nyo kunin ang di sa inyo dahil from the beginning, alam nyo nang mali. Respeto sa pamilya, respeto sa sarili nyo. A relationship is a mutual decision. Ginusto nyo rin yan.

[nixiquita]

I hope everyone gets to read this ^

[juni]

^^ Amen sis wildorchid, well said!!

It is not an excuse to say na mahal mo yung guy kaya nagawa mong maging kabit and kaya hindi mo siya maiwan.  Calling it love will never justify the wrong that has been done, it will never make it right.  Di naman totoong love ito e, kasi true love is a positive force in action.  True love is about creating the best possible life for the other person and yourself.  Paano mo masasabing ang pagiging kabit and pagiging manloloko ang best possible life para sa inyo, when this kind of existence brings so much misery and ruin not just to both of you, but to other people as well?

Pinapairal niyo lang ang pagiging selfish and shortsighted.  Yung mga panakaw-nakaw na sandali niyo might seem fun and exciting, but it is not worth the lifetime of damage that it brings.  And kung totoo mong nirerespeto and pinapahalagahan ang sarili mo and kung marunong kang mag-isip, then surely you would know na mas mainam na lumugar sa maayos and tahimik kaysa sa makuntento sa pamumuhay sa latak o tira-tirang oras and affection.  Sabi nga nila, mas mabuting maging bida kaysa sa extra lang.

[kvandenhaak]

I'd rather poke my eyes with a sharp stick than to be a mistress!

[brandi]

I am created in His greatness. Why would i let myself settle for less? I am in a relationship. Pero kung dumating yung time na ganito ang peg ko, kaya ko naman mabuhay mag isa. I've experienced it so kahit single forever,nalam kong kaya ko. Sana naiisip ng mga babaeng to na paano kung sila yung niloko ng guy na yun for another. Sometimes, i wish people would be like me. Yung tipong iniisip muna nararamdaman ng iba before i do things and or make decisions. I believe in karma kasi. So kahit feeling ko magiging happy ako sa decision ko pero may masasaktan or masasagasaan ako, hindi ko na tinutuloy. Pero it's just me. Sana lang ganoon din magisip yan mga babaeng yan. Minsan iniisip ko, kahit na love nila yung guy,pero parang hindi na nila nirespeto yung sarili nila, mas maaatim nila na ganoon? I've attended social groups na may ganito and na observe ko na most of them are just attention seeker kasi they grew up na may kulang sa kanila like broken family sila o kaya hindi masyado napapansin sa bahay. Meron naman, they just need money wala talagang choice, pero kung kelangan talaga ng pera magtrabaho sana. Ang hirap kasi gusto instant gratification.

[kukii]

No. Having born in a family with a philandering dad, i will never, ever try to understand women who put themselves in this situation.

Alam nyo ba yung stress na naidudulot nyo sa pamilya ng kinakabitan nyo? My mom would call me in the wee hours of morning just to cry. I was in law school, then, 2-3hrs ang tulog and ive been juggling the stress in school at sa bahay. My younger siblings cannot understand why my mom was grumpy and crying most of the time and i cannot tell them naman why. Wala silang idea kasi minors pa sila. Baka mawalan sila respeto sa dad ko. My dad would ask me to tell my mom that he is with me althroughout the night and wala ako magawa but to lie to my mom kasi papatigilin ako sa pagaaral pag sinuway ko sya. I became depressed and i even thought of taking my own life dahil sa pressure.

Would your happiness compensate the damage youve been inflicting in the legal family? Sorry mga sis ha, kung may natatamaan man, pero im speaking here as per experience. Dont be proud na hinahabol kayo ng may asawa.. in the first place, be ashamed of the status you are in. Nagsusumiksik kayo sa may pamilya na. May anak yon, may asawa. Papano kung nagbisyo na lang ako para makalimutan yung sitwasyon ko noon? Nakasira pa ng buhay.

Hindi pedeng dahil mahal nyo kaya di nyo maiwan. Love is a positive feeling, dont be selfish. Wag nyo kunin ang di sa inyo dahil from the beginning, alam nyo nang mali. Respeto sa pamilya, respeto sa sarili nyo. A relationship is a mutual decision. Ginusto nyo rin yan.

I know the feeling, I hope everything gets better. God is good all the time

[megamabushii]

To answer the question, no.

Why settle for less, diba? If I will only settle to be the other woman, I will only be insulting myself.

[kvandenhaak]

I'd rather poke my eyes with a sharp stick than to be a mistress!

I posted this July 2014. Lots of interesting happened. But at the end of the day, I am worth more than that. I can't be a mistress and I proved that if you value yourself, you won't end up sticking to a man that's married. Ladies, you are worth more than that!

[amethyst028]

let's make a pact ladies na hindi tayo papatol sa may asawa ever! kung walang pumapatol wala sigurong nasisirang family dahil sa mga kabit. at walang mag che-cheat na lalake kung walang nag e-entertain sa kanya diba?

sana sa mga single i-respeto naman natin ang sanctity of marriage. pag may owner na huwag na maki sawsaw pa. iyan kasi ang mahirap minsan puro puso ang pinapa iral tapos ang ending iyak iyak. at kahit maging successful kayo na maagaw niyo ang asawa hindi ba kayo magi-guilty na may sinira kayong pamilya? hay buhay.

madami naman lalake huwag na makipag agawan sa may may-ari na. sus! sa mga kabit someday you'll look back ang mahihiya kayo at manliliit sa mga pinag ga-gawa nyo.

[young_maiden]

Never. I know my worth. I'd rather live and die alone than live an immoral life with a married man.

[FayeP]

un tatay ko asawa ng bayan, hiniwalayan ng tatay ko si madir nun 6 years old pa lang ako kasi daw di daw pandisplay si nanay...we grew up struggling...swerte na lang na walang naging addict or kriminal samin, us three kids even graduated with honors since elem. days....

since first hand kong na-experience un gapang-lusak na hirap mula nun iwan kami ni tatay para sa kabit nya...never na never kong gagawin sa sarili ko ang maging kabit....napakahirap para dun sa mga walang muwang na bata na nadadamay sa mga ganitong sitwasyon...

[red_yesha]

Syempre HINDI. May pagpapahalaga ako sa sarili ko. Bakit ko ipagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa iba? Para masaktan at makasakit ng ibang pamilya?
SELFISH  ako, gusto ko ang akin ay akin.
Ayoko ng may kahati.

[IamBlessed1111]

Never!
Naranasan ko na maagawan at sobrang sakit  so hindi ko yun magagawa sa kapwa ko babae