Solo Flight/Single Syndrome

[jaemi33]

I think my situation is just perfect for this topic lol

What is a solo flight/single syndome is all about? Actually, hindi naman ito official syndrome. I just made it up to describe my situation and maybe some of our GT sisters here also.

So, I'm single now and I've been single for very veyy long time. Actually I only had one official relationship, LDR pa Do you know anyone in your social/friend cycle na whenever you meet her, single parati siya and you will never hear any bf/relationship coming from her mouth? That's me haha
Pero hindi naman rin ako yung type of girl na no experience rin sa boys. I've been to dates and I do have company of guys naman with me. It's just that it never goes to a serious relationship. ALWAYS.

I don't want to sound so full of myself, but I'm also the type of girl that you wouln't think I'm single. Whenever I'm in a party, I notice wala gaanong guys na nag aaproach sa akin, then one day when I asked one of the guys jokingly, most of them assumed that I'm taken already kaya ingat sila sa approach nila sa akin. Iba daw yung aura ko, parang I already give that I'm stable and I'm taken aura daw lol maybe that's another reason why I'm single. Sabi ng mga female friends ko I don't give that aura na nag hahanap daw ako ng lalake which is partly true naman. Sabi ng mga close friends ko rin, hindi na daw nila maimagine na may boyfriend ako. Sakit ko na daw ang pagiging single ko and I don't deny it naman. I don't really crave for a relationship since I don't even know or forgot how to be in a relationship 

Just to share a little thing about my background, I'm the eldest in the family and I was always the Ate of the barkada kaya I'm pretty much independent. I do like taking care of other people kaya I'm not used to have someone taking care of me. I guess, too strong and independent for some of the guys :p
I'm happy with my family, myself, friends and work, and the only missing piece in my life is a man that I can be with a serious commitment. Hindi naman sa nag hahanap ako because I know hindi naman hinahanap iyon and darating nalang bigla, pero iyon rin siguro yung kinatatakutan ko. I'm just so used to my solo flight life na baka may dumating na guy para sa akin, it would totally destroy my life routine. I guess I'm just having too much of my life as a single, pero minsan nakakapagod rin yung mga tanong ng friends at family mo na "oh kelan kaba mag kaka boyfriend?" (hindi naman mag papakasal ah, I'm still young for that lol)   

Sa mga sisters na who once used to be a solo flight na biglang nakameet ng guy of their dreams nila and feeling nila nag 360 degree ang lifestyles nila, maybe you could share your experiences here? 

[angelzero]

i had a friend who's just like you. "had" kasi we used to be close, now parang we don't know each other na (pero different topic hehe). anyways she's just like you na wala sa itsura na single cuz my friend is undeniably pretty. also, like you, sya ang nanay ng barkada namin lalo na nung college. now, there's this guy in her life na matagal na silang nag hahangout but definitely they are more than friends, less than lovers. i don't know what they have pero definitely it's not an official exclusive bf-gf relationship. i guess my friend loves her freedom too much to give that up. she also once told us that her life is pretty messed up to get into a relationship. my opinion on that is, who isn't messed up anyway? lahat naman ng tao may issues sa buhay but some of us still get into a healthy, loving kind of relationship. i guess for my friend, being single works for her well. i also suspect meron syang intimacy issues kaya big factor din kaya sya single. 

[entwife]

I can relate haha.

For a long time that I am single, there's something about commitment that scares me. It seems like having a boyfriend would disrupt my life. lol I also agree that sometimes I feel like I am messed up to be messed up more.

Then i met someone who I really liked. We were more than friends but never in to a relationship then it made me realize na parang ayoko rin na maging kami. We had this talk about romantic relationships fall apart but friendship lasts forever. That people kill themselves due to failing relationships, and unquestionably your friends are the one who would be there for you.
Maybe we were too negative about the relationship thing, or maybe the time is not right because we still want to do a lot of things for ourselves.

Anyway, something went wrong so I'll just end my story here.

All I want to say is I share this single syndrome. Sometimes, I think i could settle for a good company instead of the romance feel. Good thing that I am too busy with my life and there's a lot of things I want to discover pa about myself, others, life and what not, kaya hindi rin ako nakukungkot. I feel like i'm on my age of exploration.

[BicuriousGm]

Hi mga sis, Im single for super longgggggggg years. Been in a relationship for more than a year now.
When I was in my singlehood days...famous question is "wala ka ba plano mag bf"
Now I do have a bf ang famous question is "kelan ka mag asawa"

My personal background...i was exposed in many kinds of people. Mapa jologs, disente name it. Im into sales in pharma industry, party all night and i do travel a lot.  Strong personality ko and kinda dominant and medyo matangkad ako. That is one of the reasons na din siguro why Im so picky and di madami nag attempt manligaw.

Napaka couple oriented ng mga tao dito sa atin...i really dunno if it is in our culture ba.
When i had my vacation in US...sabi ko I want here, wala pakialam mga tao if you are single or not. Bumalik din ako dito sa atin for personal reasons. In my mind sabi ko na lang pakialam nila if Im single and happy. Naka stress na din kasi minsan kaka sagot why are you single. May time pa nga they doubt about my sexual identity.hehe I dont regret being single for a long time...i had all the time to do what i want before, travel and party without making paalam pa sa partner mo.

Your answer to your question what are the difference being single and committed:
1. You have to ask his/her permission if you want to go out or travel with friends.
2. Level up na thinking ko ngayon when it comes to future planning...kasama na sya sa plano ko.
3. May taga bayad na ako sa travel ko at going out na sya kasama syempre.
4. Pagi gising at pag tulog ko hawak ko na cellphone ko to say good morning/goodnight. Before wala ako pakialam sa cellphone ko.
5. In short nag mature ako ng kaunti hehe

Lastly...masabi ko lang IT'S WORTH THE WAIT!!! I dont have any intention na mag asawa before because of my dad's pagiging babaero. Darating din pala time na may guy na maka pag pabago ng mga panuntunan mo sa buhay. Wow lalim nun ha! Bigla darating na lang and you will amaze na eto na pala yun. I hope you girls also find your the one.

[jaemi33]

Thanks sa mga replies sis <3

^^^@angelzero - sis, haha I understand your ex-friend. One of the biggest factor that I'm not ready to give up is my freedom. I mean kung meron naman guy who would understand that I guess I could try being in a relationship pero usually yung mga ganun guys gusto rin ng freedom :p I'm one of those girls who don't understand girls who can't go out pag pinagbawalan sila ng boyfriend nila. Hello? nasa boyfriend mo ba lahat ng sapatos mo at hindi ka makaalis pag ayaw niya? lol Okay naman mag paalam, pero my action would definitely not going to be affected by his answer :p I think I'm very a complicated woman haha

^^@entwife - sis, I definitely understand your situation. Meron ka nga sakit na katulad ko lol I love companies from guys but parang nag cricringe yung stomach ko pag naririnig ko na yung word na "commitment" :p I was once seeing this guy, which I genuinly liked naman. we both started as no-commitment type of relationship but he fell for me and I wasn't able to give what he wanted, so it didn't work out. Pero yung mga female friends ko talaga yung nanghinayang kasi he was really a boyfriend material and so far the nicest man even till not that I've ever met in my life, but I don't regret letting him go.

^@BicuriousGM - sis, wow I'm happy that you found your the "one " na I agree with you that pinoys are really couple oriented haha kaya mas lalong kang napapansin pag single ka :p and sa mga answers na binigay mo, eto yung mga honest thoughts ko:
1. As mentioned above, I have no problem telling my bf about my plans but I don't know if I could listen to his answer :p I would like my bf to tell me his plan either but I wouldn't be deciding for him para fair. Puede naman ito diba? :p
2. I actually don't find this problem at all. I actually like thinking about events for us two
3. This is awesome! haha
4. I definitely would like to get Good morning and good night messages from him. This one I think I'm also an average girl lol
5. I agree naman na it would definitely change something about me pag nag karelationship na ako

[angelzero]

^ako rin sis hindi ko maintindihan yung ganung type of setup sa ibang couples. maybe it works for some, pero most of the time pag may kilala akong ganyan most probably nasasakal sya sa relationship. may bf ako pero i just tell him where i'm going, i don't ask for his permission. at thankful din ako na ganun din sya sa kin. we still have lives outside of the relationship.

malay mo sis jaemi, makakahanap ka rin ng katapat mo. someone who understands you, quirks and all. pero kung wala, i guess it's not so bad, right? 

[jaemi33]

^sis angelzero - hay girl, I salute you! haha I don't want to be in a relationship na nakaksakal  Tska oo naman, I don't find any inconvenience naman except pag kinulong ako sa kuwarto na puno ng couples and I'm the only one single hahaha But yeah, it leaves me now withs so many options and freedom so not bad

[iseenessie]

Hey, I think I belong to this club! Hahaha

I am not against relationships. And I still believe in love. I am just not in a hurry. If I am going to be with someone, I want to be with him in a big way. I could never commit to a half-baked relationship.

And also, I don't think my current lifestyle would make it easier for me to be with a guy. I am so busy with my career and my dreams. Maybe when I already accomplished some of my goals, I would be ready. But now? Nah.

But you never know, right? Kaya ayaw ko pa rin magsalita ng tapos.

[pret_ty68]

Joining this club. Just like TS sabi nang mga friends ko I also exude an aura na di ko kailangan nang lalaki sa buhay ko. Ewan ko ba pero I'm not afraid na tumandang dalaga kaya I won't commit unless I feel that it is really the right thing to do meaning the right man for the right reasons. Hindi nga lang ako maintinduhan nang mga tao sa paligid ako pilit nila akong sinasabihan na kailangang mag asawa na ako.

[fxy111]

isa lang masasabi ko,i belong

i've had relationships in collge and after pero my last relationship was 5 years ago. syempre it would be nice to have someone there for you (nuod ng sine, dinner, conversation etc) but i haven't met him yet.

i don't think it's because i have very high standards, but i do know what i want.

about the "aura" thing, pareho siguro tayo.lagi ako ako sinasabihin ng friends and sister ko na i look masungit, hindi kasi ako talaga smile-y face. i'm shy and maybe people interpret that as being masungit:p

but i'm not actively looking to be in a relationship right now, i want to reach my goals muna before anything else. yung thinking ko nalang "if meron, dadating din yan"

[pt_2000mf]

oooppsss... relate much ako dito ha.... same with you sisses... the aura thing ang issue.... they think na im also stable na kaya they didn't approach me.... im single na rin for two years na.... and some of my guy friends always saying na sayang me bf ka na.... eh they are amaze pag sinabi mo na im single na for two years na... they will always say na ha? bakit di ko sinabi eh ngayon me gf/wife na sila hahahha.... but anyways no worries coz im happy naman eh... contentment lang talaga....

[superjuzh]

Hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan pa ako naging single at kung nagkaboyfriend ba talaga ako ngayong taon. lol. Nagbreak kami nung huli February this year sobrang gulo ng relationship namin at pagkatapos nun wala na akong matinong nakilala na lalaki. Ang saklap kaya. Madalas malulungkot ako kasi nag iisa, yung mga panahon na gusto ko mamasyal sa mall or kahit saan wala akong makasama. Mga gabi na nag iisa kahit sweet na katext wala. Malungkot na masaya kasi ang masaya dun hindi ko kailangan magpaalam sa mga gagawin ko sa buhay or kung saan ako pupunta, malungkot kasi kapag may problema ako madalas pakiramdam ko wala akong karamay.

[bittermelon]

am torn.
its been two years since my last relationship.
before i can say with conviction that it is okay with me if i stay single FOREVER.
So I can say that I had that aura before (of someone who doesn't really care).

But for now I guess am getting fed up with being "alone".
Friends are kind of hard to find, sometimes I have to tell them in super advance for meet-ups)
I guess I miss the feeling of having someone c",)
Someone who would like to spend time with me..

I don't want to lose the aura/ syndrome of being okay/ appearing okay without having a boyfriend.

I don't like this state of wanting to be in-love again, simply because its out of my control. I don't think i can work towards it anyway.

i like being in-love but if there is no one who feels the same way about me i'll look STUPID (i don't like to appear or feel desperate)

I was thinking its really better to have the syndrome than to appear like someone who is sad and empty handed.

If we are sad because of our state, we don't have to show it right?

The

[pret_ty68]

^
Sis you don't have to appear sad/desperate but you must also show that you are open to a relationship.

I was also like you before I want to show to the world that I'm ok being single and because of that may mga opportunities akong napalagpas which I somehow regret now. I shun away suitors before because I give them the impression that I don't need them. Dati rin tuwing may nirereto o may sinasabing irereto sa akin sinusupla ko agad sinasabi ko na ayoko nang reto reto. Gusto ko kasi dati mag meet kami na yung parang sa movies. Masyado kasi akong idealistic noon. But then as I get older the loneliness crepts in especially when I see people I know getting married and konting konti na lang kami na single.  I also come across the book confessions of an impatient bride na merong sinasabing ganito.

"Listen to your older auntie or old friend when she’s referring you to meet someone, God uses people to meet your soon to be groom."

Kaya ngayon pag may nagsasabi sa akin na may gustong ipakilala hindi na ako tumatangi kasi malay natin isa doon ang right person para sa akin. So far sa mga ipinakilala sa akin wala pa yung right peron di ko pa kasi maramdaman  yung connection na hinahanap ko pero at least people know that I am open to meeting new friends. Ngayon pa lang naman ako na year nag start maging open sa mga pakilala pakilala. In sum, Let us show that we are happy being single but we are also open to the idea of having someone to make our life more meaningful.

[bittermelon]

^ thank you sis pret_ty68

very well said . I guess I have to really find the balance.
I'll be honest and admit that I am not really happy being single.
Its like a big challenge, especially at my age wherein norms dictate that i should have my own family. Am 29 and i'll be turning 30  January next year.

thanks again i'll keep your wise words in mind

[agape]

Dumadami na talaga mga single girls and single moms now.
Bihira na kasi ang matinong guy, tapos marami pang gays. :-s
Kaya ako I just want to prepare for my lifetime singlehood, and sana walang regrets.

[simang]

I agree with you all, girls. When I was single (after a 7-yr long relationship), i totally embraced singlehood. And I must say na nameet ko yung current bf ko in one of my solo flights haha.

I'm proud to say that my relationship now is the healthiest one i've had ever. Of course it's no longer a single syndrome, because technically im not single, but i love how he allows me to live my life on my own -- as if i'm single except he's there. Gets? Haha basta i love my independence and i appreciate my partner for respecting that:-)

Independent women make the best girlfriends they say, pero sometimes men might feel emasculated if it's too much. Kaya s. Argov suggests playing the dumb ox from time to time so men feel needed pa din :-)

[sexykha]

i am single for more than 6 months now and a single mom for that matter..
lately, i just started to go on dates which i actually missed after 3 years of in a relationship
im feeling sad because i feel like its very hard/difficult now to look for a guy who are honest and faithful in a relationship. i've been encountering guys who definitely would only want sex.
i am not against with the 'friends with beneifts' thing - but hoping that the guy is single as well.
well - that's just my POV ayoko lang na bumalik sa akin yan if i found my 'man of my dreams'
takot lang sa karma.

on the other hand, sometimes i tend to go on movies alone. or just stroll sa mall, window shopping na nauuwi sa shopping and travel alone (done this last year sa Cebu )
sometimes being alone is relaxing for me, i can do whatever i want and wherever i want

[Filipinasadhart]

I'm still single and madalas solo flight okay Lang Tanggap ko na kahit longing ako to have a good relationship. Kung May dumating we'll okay Kung wala e di wala.

Yeah ang Hirap makahanap ng okay na guy...

[winkypops]

I'm still single and currently looking for someone. sad kapag mag isa pero okay lang, i know darating din ang right guy for me