^I love your sense of idealism, my dear, but married life does not work that way, IMHO. In paper, in theory, this "we are one" thinking is good, pero in practice, and in real life, it doesn't quite work the same way.
I agree that prior to marriage, you need to have a long, serious and proper chat with your partner on financial matters. You need to come clean kung ano ang assets and liabilities nyo, kung ano yung mga personal financial obligations ninyo, past, present and those you think are in the imminent future (e.g. supporting parents, siblings, etc etc). And then agree on how you want to handle things - perhaps you maintain a joint account, perhaps you have your own separate accounts but agree as to who spends for what. But it is best that you and your husband keep a little money aside separately (whether or not you put it in a separate bank account) para sa sarili nyong maliliit na gastos, like toiletries, pang-coffee, pangpa-gupit or nail salon, etc. Don't kill the individuals in you just because you got married. After all, your remain to be two separate beings naman.
Personally, my husband and I have our own money - he works, I work. We both have successful careers, albeit he earns much more than I do. I never question his spending, he never questions mine, because beneath all this we both know that the other is financially responsible and quite prudent when it comes to spending. When it comes to "big ticket items" including any investment, we both discuss and agree before buying/spending. He spends for the bigger household expenses, while I pay for things like utilities, househelp, groceries, etc.
^^If you haven't done so, maybe you need to sit down with your hubby and list down all the household expenses, including your personal expenses. Then you can track where the money goes to, and how much you actually need or how much more you can trim from your current spending habits. If he doesn't want to "combine" your money, I think that's fine as long as you both agree how much you both need to put into your "pooled" income to pay for the monthly expenses. As for your baby's baptism, did you actually pay for half of the expenses? If you did, then perhaps gently gently tell him that you would like to contribute some money towards the celebration at your parents' house.
