filipino-chinese relationships 2

[insanelypurpleprincess]

Ah yeah they started in Cebu but im in Manila na dear.

^ Ah, I see. Thanks for clarifying @chicafabulosa

[chicafabulosa]

No problem dear. But we still have our house there and some relatives though. I still go there from time to time to have a vacation...

[graZiousa]

Sis @insanelypurpleprincess... grandpa sa mother side ko is half spanish, pero kitang kita pa rin sa itsura ng mother ko ang pagkakaron ng dugong spanish but hindi ko namana yong beauty nya, lucky my sister kasi mana sya kay mother hehe, wala kaming lahing chinese but muka ko daw parang chinese na japanese  . but sa puso ko sis, pinoy na pinoy ako..

[chicafabulosa]

No problem. I will always love cebu, it gave my grandparents a chance to have a nice and comfortable life here in the philippines

[cindylulu]

@insanelypurpleprincess: What I mean about "elitist" is that, he speaks better English and Fookien than Filipino (well, my other Chinoy buddies in college speak Filipino better, which is good), and he considers Filipino teleseryes as "bakya." Well, like everybody else, I do watch both Filipino and foreign TV channels. Also, pagdating sa gadgets, todo puri pa siya sa Apple while I myself, though an Apple fan, has mixed feelings for the said company (as a matter of fact, I praised Samsung for its innovations, it's only that mas nakasanayan ko lang ang Apple).

sis if you don't mind, how old are you? don't get me wrong but the things you mentioned as elitist like having apple gadgets don't necessarily speak of chinoy tradition. acquiring gadgets in general is really a guy thing regardless of the guy's race. and intellectual guys really frown on teleseryes/dramas in general. watching teleserye is more of a girl thing. common knowledge na to.

[molybdenumstudios]

^ Well, what I mean is that, it's more on HIS personality and not on his upbringing. So to speak, the gadgets and teleseryes have nothing to do with him being Chinoy. Therefore, being elitist is his personality.

I'm two decades old BTW.

[Momofoku]

Its very interesting that this topic never cease.

I'm chinay (tsutsiya) but i dated a filipino for 3 years. The more serious it got, the more I am unable to adjust.

Now, I am engaged to [textspeak!]-chi too. And the whole tradition from the kiu hun to the ting hun is just beautiful--especially when you are inlove.

When you grew up amidst all these joyful traditions, you will just naturally want it. These traditions represent the entire family.

If the family is really modern and dont have these traditions in place, I dont think it matters if the boy/girl is filipino.

It's just that in my case, my family was traditional. My dad was president of the family organization then.

So while they kept mum about my relationship, I could see that I wasnt part of the world i grew up in. My ex felt out of place when we go out with my [textspeak!]-chi friends.

At the end of the day, those who can't sustain a chinese- filipino relationship are those who want all these traditions too.

I dont think they dont have guts or balls.

[little_princess]

^ i guess this works for the majority but i just want to share my experience. I am one of those who you would say who loves the culture, the kua ditsi, feng shui, ting hun, etc etc but for the love of my husband, i forgo a lot of them when i married him. he isn't chinese nor filipino but it did raise a lot of eyebrows when we first started dating. i guess it is love or that our love was that strong that we fought through the culture

[cindylulu]

^^you're right sis. The traditions are already ingrained in us because we grew up with these traditions. It is very hard to have a relationship with someone (huana) who only superficially knows our culture. lalo na if your family is active in the association/organization like in our case as well. if the family's tradition is deeply rooted in your psyche, you will naturally gravitate to people with the same background as yours. surely some time one will find someone interesting kasi kakaiba totally, but then, one still needs to think of the future coz there's a lot at stake if one pursues to satisfy curiosity. in the long run, it matters if you're happy with your decision and it's worthwhile to disappoint the family.

[Momofoku]

@cindylulu. You are right. The only mistake I once made was allowing it to go for so long. I was young and shAllow then. As I got older I really fell more in love with traditions. And it's so nice to be with someone who shares the same beliefs and values. I'm really happy. It's nice to see that our parents send each other moon cakes and tikoys!

^^you're right sis. The traditions are already ingrained in us because we grew up with these traditions. It is very hard to have a relationship with someone (huana) who only superficially knows our culture. lalo na if your family is active in the association/organization like in our case as well. if the family's tradition is deeply rooted in your psyche, you will naturally gravitate to people with the same background as yours. surely some time one will find someone interesting kasi kakaiba totally, but then, one still needs to think of the future coz there's a lot at stake if one pursues to satisfy curiosity. in the long run, it matters if you're happy with your decision and it's worthwhile to disappoint the family.

[Momofoku]

a couple of weeks ago, we had dinner with my Chinoy friend and his family, im so proud to bring him because he could converse fluently with the aunties.

that is not to say we are against filipino-chinese relationship. The howe of my shoti is huana and we are good to her.

It's just my personal choice. So I guess  I can not criticize those who will choose chinoys/chinays over huanas. It's a choice and they should not be blamed for it.

in my opinion, if one didn't get introduced-- perhaps the love is not enough pa.

If a guy loves you, kahit anong lahi pa yan, he will fight for you

[graZiousa]

^ Mitchieme, sis im a pure pinay.. si hubby ang chinoy.. Mga simpleng paniniwala lang naman. Si hubby kasi nagkaproblema sa work nya and napilitan sya magresign, nung time na yon all set na kami for the wedding.. Since may problem nga daw sa work ni hubby its not a good sign daw to pursue the wedding. Pinipigilan kami talaga, kasi masama daw nagpa feng sue daw si angkong.. pero natuloy ang church wedding namin sis.. Wala silang nagawa si hubby ang nanindigan na matuloy 

[Mitchieme]

@graZiousa: ah ok. nice. kelan kayo kinasal?

insanelypurplepricess@ im filipina and bf is 75% chinese. Yeah. actually its quiet mabilisan lang talaga, ng dalawang isip kase nung sinabi ng papa niya na after ng ahya eh magpakasal na kame sa church, di pa kase ako ready noon at nabigla ako. anyway he's ahya married last january 2013, so kahit until now worried pa din kame kase bka SUKOB as everyone know's that tradition but for them naman kase january 2013 in chinese is part of 2012 pa din tama? and ang worry pa namen if di namen ittuloy this year kahit civil lang eh bka 2015 pa kame pg pa church wedding kase he's shoti naman eh ikakasal next year march. so ayun. naipit tuloy kame.. sunod sunod kase ang kasal. do you think it's sukob ba?

[insanelypurpleprincess]

insanelypurplepricess@ im filipina and bf is 75% chinese. Yeah. actually its quiet mabilisan lang talaga, ng dalawang isip kase nung sinabi ng papa niya na after ng ahya eh magpakasal na kame sa church, di pa kase ako ready noon at nabigla ako. anyway he's ahya married last january 2013, so kahit until now worried pa din kame kase bka SUKOB as everyone know's that tradition but for them naman kase january 2013 in chinese is part of 2012 pa din tama? and ang worry pa namen if di namen ittuloy this year kahit civil lang eh bka 2015 pa kame pg pa church wedding kase he's shoti naman eh ikakasal next year march. so ayun. naipit tuloy kame.. sunod sunod kase ang kasal. do you think it's sukob ba?

^ Sis Mitchieme... As far as I know, same year is sukob talaga. So dapat each year isa lang talaga. And it shouldn't matter if civil or church wedding. Pero what do I know about civil weddings? Like I said, di ko kabisado civil weddings. Kasi if ever nga that you will follow the lunar year, then you might as well do church wedding. Same thing eh.. a wedding is a wedding. Nonetheless, diba nga you are Filipina, so di ko sure anong take ng family niyo on that also. Basta if it were a Filipino Chinese family both sides, they would always opt na one wedding a year lang talaga. Di naman kelangan even na one year apart, ang kelangan lang.. different year. That's as far as what I know and what is in practice in our community.

[Mitchieme]

Aw! thanks for clarifying it. both parents are aware of it. well even his shoti also advised din na yung sa kuya nga nila is still 2012.. even his dad advised right after ng wedding ng kuya is sunod na daw kame. well i didnt clarify if still same year or next year.

[insanelypurpleprincess]

^ Bottom line is, if your parents and your husband to be's parents and other family elders are fine with it, then that's what matters. Kanya kanyang ways na rin of practicing the culture and since you're Filipina fully, then there must have been adjustments done or something like that.

[Mitchieme]

yes!! still we are seeking god's blessing. goodluck to us

[insanelypurpleprincess]

^ Enjoy wedding preps!!!

[little_princess]

^ Mitchieme - Best wishes in advance for December. Quick question though, who is Filipino-Chinese? You or hubby to be? Or both kayo? I'm quite curious lang and amazed na civil wedding kayo. I have never been to a civil or city hall wedding for Filipino Chinese families that we know who are based in the Philippines. Though I have friends who are Singapore-based, who did the city hall wedding in SG first followed by a Church Wedding in the Philippines.

I know of 1 couple who did this, their girl is my batchmate and the guy is also a batchmate ng school across the street. They are getting married this year sa Church wedding. I think they did this because they wanted to start the processing of the girl's visa because the guy is a citizen of a different country.

we almost had a civil wedding first before the Church because we were having difficulties with the Roman Catholic Church because hubby is of a different nationality and religion so we had to show them a lot of paperwork that no one has ever heard of. Luckily for us, turned out well and we got married sa Church.

[Mitchieme]

thanks insanelypurpleprincess..
tomorrow palang kame pupunta ng city hall for the requirements.