filipino-chinese relationships 2

[little_princess]

^ parang you need a foreign chinese or [textspeak!]-chi na nasa abroad na for that. madaming chinese dito na dependent sa parents and still need their approval.

unfair pero share ko lang, my aunt has a son who will marry a filipina end of the month. sa gloria maris lang yung wedding but when her daughter married a wealthy chinese guy, bongga the wedding and nasa 1k+ yung guests.

[molybdenumstudios]

^ Based from personal experience, I guess I have to at least stay away from that Chinoy admirer of mine since he happens to be uber-dependent not only to his parents, pero hindi siya sanay na maging standalone niya in whatever he does. Swear, I told myself that I won't ever settle for a very rich Chinese guy. Mas pipiliin ko pa ang overseas Chinese like those examples you stated.

[stameygirl]

^The key word is "overseas" (Huaren). Never a mainlander, those guys are worse.

[molybdenumstudios]

^ What makes you say that mainlanders are worse? I have met a mainlander at school before and he seems nice (well, he's very nice, at saka kamukha pa ni Mario Maurer).

[chicafabulosa]

Because most of the mainlanders walang breeding. Most of them impolite, pushy, loud and unruly

[molybdenumstudios]

^ Agree with that. They're nice people naman, but TRUE, they lack manners (they don't follow the traffic rules, they spit almost everywhere... and the stench of the rivers within Beijing, yeah). Mas prefer ko pa nga ang mixed-raced Chinese person. I won't mind dating a Chinese-American or a Chinese-Canadian.

[Mitchieme]

Hi Girls!

Well chinese are very different from each other some at mabait and some are not,
Me I hope na magtuloy tuloy na ang good relationship namen ni BF, were planning na to get married this december just civil wedding kakasal kase yung shoti nila eh. anyway pang 2nd si BF sa 7 siblings 5 boys and 2 girls bali shobe na yung girls.

sa mga having problems dealing with mom/dad chinese ni BF goodluck.. super saya once you are accepted by the family.

[molybdenumstudios]

I have yet to search for a Chinese-American or a Chinese-Canadian. Well, these people seem more interesting to me, though.

Actually, my Chinoy admirer should look for a Chinese girl.

[stameygirl]

@chicafabulosa - I oh so totally agree with you. I read somewhere that you mentioned Cebu. Not sure if you are still based here pero if you are, then there's just way too many mainlander GIs in Cebu na talagang walang breeding. It doesn't even have to be just the men.... even the wives and kids, I can not stand them pag nagkakataon na invited kami sa party and natataon na may maka table kami na ganun. The impolite, loud, unruly parts are just too obvious to ignore.

What's with Cebu? First invaded by Koreans, now mainlanders! I once saw Mainlanders hold a children's party in Gloria Maris starting at 9pm! And yeah, it was loud!

[chicafabulosa]

Huh? Whats with cebu? Sorry id ont remember what i said eh. Please remind me.. Tnx

[cindylulu]

whether mainland Chinese or foreigner, still frowned upon by chinoy elders kasi considered outsider pa rin sila. we rather go for following tradition than earning the ire of our elders and ancestors. it's not about dependence or reliance. pwede ka namang mag business on your own e or have a career of your own. thing is, what you do or say or act should conform with the norm set by your family/association kasi it's all about your clan's reputation within the Chinoy community.

[sistah!]

nakakatuwa na may thread na ganito dito. makes me look back. my first and greatest love was actually with a Filipino-Chinese guy. I was in college. I didn't expect for us to get along because initially we didn't really have a lot of things in common. he was awkward in a nerdy way but I found him interesting. we spent a lot of our breaks together kahit hindi kami magka-course. eventually, we spent all our time together. when things became official, he asked for support from his brother and sister who were both in school with us. his brother gave his approval and support, his sister didn't, arguing that the rules in their family were absolute and she couldn't support going against his parents. in fairness to him, he tried very hard to get his family on board. he told his parents about me but while they were decent enough to hear him out, the ending never changed: the family could never accept a non-Chinese girl. on hindsight, it might have been that way because we were young, still in school and they thought, it couldn't have been THAT serious. one time, he tried to bring me to their house. his mom didn't let me in. I was so embarrassed to be standing outside their gate while he was inside. ang dami kong luha na iniyak. my parents were always kind to him but after that episode, medyo hindi na sila naging happy. I think na-hurt talaga yung mommy ko about that. before graduation, nag-usap kami. kung paano na magiging plano namin because his family wanted to send him to china to study for a year.lumaban pa kami ng konti but it was when his dad told him point blank that if things progressed further with me, he could lose his family and be disowned,  I decided at that point to break up with him. I couldn't bear the thought of him dating other girls (pinapa-cai siao na sya that time) and frankly at that time, I just was so tired of the drama, of not being accepted, of being rejected, of fighting a battle we didn't seem to win. it was heartbreaking talaga for me. I felt like I gave him the best time of my life. he felt like I just deserted him. anyway, he left for china. I started working here. a year after, he sent me an email saying he misses me but that he understands the decision I made. it was nice closure for me. hindi na ako nag-reply.

years later, I saw him again, by accident in my office when he was getting his car fixed. he asked me to dinner to catch up. the whole time, we were both cautious and no one asked if we were in relationships seeing other people. I had a boyfriend then (he became my husband). later on, I found out that he hasn't had a girlfriend since we broke up. I think about that sometimes and wonder if perhaps I should have fought more. don't get me wrong, I am happy where I am in life now. i just think sometimes, what if? i sincerely hope he finds a nice girl for himself. mahirap din maging mag-isa sa buhay. i want him to be happy.

[molybdenumstudios]

Sis insanelypurpleprincess, actually, pinakilala lang siya ng friend ko na gay. So, I accepted the offer na lang since he knows how to seduce people (LOL). Anyways, I was thinking if I could marry him, but when he told me that he should marry a Chinese girl, well, I was sad, but at the end of the day, I accepted it.

Anyways, may pagka-isip-bata kasi siya (he has a mental condition, actually). But I just found out his true colors. May tinatago pala siyang ugali, kaya my gay buddy is getting himself rid of that guy. I didn't know that he's actually looking for a companion rather than a lifetime partner, since uber-dependent masyado sa parents, at siyempre, super hindi sanay kapag walang kasama.

There's a time na siyempre, parang naramdaman ko ang "love" thing, but then, I sense that he's too desperate to look for a girl who will be his friend for life, simply because he wanted to fit in his family (his closest cousin and ahia are BTW, married). If he wants to have a girl friend for life, he should not treat his friends as servants (I actually noticed this kasi eh).

Well, I find it hard to explain my story with him here since I had mixed emotions while opening up myself here.

[molybdenumstudios]

^ No wonder, I'd rather see myself marrying a Filipino guy (mestizo) with a very high educational attainment (what I mean is, college grad siya). I won't mind dating a Chinoy whose parent is (one of) my dad's buddies, or a Chinoy who is half-Filipino, but if it is a Chinoy being pure Chinese, I should take measures.

It's a great experience being with him. Thing is, he's too elitist to get started with (I actually mediate between posh and what's ordinary).

[graZiousa]

Im married to a chi-noy for more than a year pa lang. 8 years kami bf/gf and when we planned the wedding na, ang daming sagabal sobrang mapaniwala ang family ni hubby sa mga pamahiin. Like meron na akong na final na arrangement, pag nalaman ni mother biglang may negative na inputs about it so kelangan daw ichange. In fairness naman kay hubby he asked me naman muna if ok lang ba daw sakin na baguhin, syimpre ayaw mo naman na mapintasan ka ng mismong nanay ng mapapangasawa mo so babaguhin nalang. not once lang nangyari that leads me to not to live near sa family ni hubby dahil sa until now di pa nawawala sakit naramdaman ko sa mga sinabi ni mother during our wedding na kelangan iparinig sa lahat ng bisita and relatives ko, mas mabuti ng hindi kami magkalapit they have ways kasi that i cant stand. Si hubby naman nung di pa kami kasal, i've noticed kasi na sa mga decision making mas maraming gusto ang family nya ang nasusunod (dependent sya kay mother pagdating sa decision making). fortunately, when we are married na napansin ko naman na nag aadjust si hubby.

[Mitchieme]

@graZiousa are you Filipina or Filipino-Chinese?
what pamihiin to be exact? we'll be having  our civil wedding this december...

[little_princess]

generally, "huarens" (overseas chinese) are not very fond of the mainland chinese because of their behavior.

and i guess non Chinoys would see us as elitists or sosyal because of the financial capability of a lot of us. I guess it rubs off as being showy or mayabang.

[lovely_carrot]

Its not really my experience but my ex partner.

After we separated, he's had several relationships. Yung isa sa mga nagtagal was his relationship with a [textspeak!]-Chinese girl. I think umabot sila ng 2 years on-off but ex partner told me hindi sila legal sa parents nung babae. They're both of age, working si girl as Chef/ sa isang hotel, while ex partner is a seaman. I think their issue was Pinoy si guy, may anak kami and the girl/girl's family is obviously well off than him/his family.

They later separated and he swore never to get involved with a Chinese girl again, his words not mine.

[chicafabulosa]

@chicahfabulosa - You made mention in an earlier post that your tai kong started out here in Cebu, so I was unsure if you meant that you are still in Cebu or perhaps you have moved someplace else na. 

Ah yeah they started in Cebu but im in Manila na dear.

[molybdenumstudios]

@insanelypurpleprincess: What I mean about "elitist" is that, he speaks better English and Fookien than Filipino (well, my other Chinoy buddies in college speak Filipino better, which is good), and he considers Filipino teleseryes as "bakya." Well, like everybody else, I do watch both Filipino and foreign TV channels. Also, pagdating sa gadgets, todo puri pa siya sa Apple while I myself, though an Apple fan, has mixed feelings for the said company (as a matter of fact, I praised Samsung for its innovations, it's only that mas nakasanayan ko lang ang Apple).