How do you deal with insecure friends?

[lili_cute]

Hi everyone. I just wanna know your thoughts and hear how others have dealt with similar relationships.

I have this friend since college and it seems like she has insecurity/jealousy issues. She always says not so nice stuff. For instances, last summer we went to Puerto Galera and she told me I'm so skinny that I look like I don't eat at all and then when I gain weight, she will post comments on my facebook page "ang taba mo hahaha". Most of the time I just ignore her because I feel like it's just who she is, making fun of other but nothing serious but it happens all the time where sometimes it's so hurtful and it is really embarrassing when said comments are made in front of other friends and it made me wonder if she is a genuine friend. It's like she's happy when she embarrassed a friend. Recently, she texted me and told me she's traveling abroad and invited me but guess what, she texted me and told me she was just joking about inviting me and started laughing. Parang nananadya siya to pissed you off. It irritated me and I started thinking if this friendship is even worth fighting for. We don't often see each other anymore kaya I feel like hindi na siya ganun ka big issue unlike nung college pa kami but still we're part of the same tropa. I remember one advice from a special friend when I was in high school, "do not be afraid to choose friends and live the ones who are not worthy". What do you guys think? I will be very thankful for the advice.

[aquacharly]

Leave in the past what no longer works. And that includes people.
Why allow people who bring crap into your life stay in your life?
If you can't avoid her due to common friends, be aloof, avoid her as much as you can. Deadma her to death.
Be strong enough to make choices.

[stylishmomy]

^^the answer is right in front of you dear Not worthy of your time and definitely not a friend. If someone is causing you that much negativity, then time to move on and avoid her as much as possible. Don't reply to her texts, unfriend/block sa Facebook if possible.

[Kady_14]

Wag mo i-stress-in sarili mo sa kanya, madami ka pa naman ibang friends, sila na lang ang i-keep mo. Tama, dedmahin mo na ang mga messages nya or unfriend her in FB. Hindi siya kawalan sis.

[agape]

My experience with my insecure friend is the opposite of your experience. She always praises/flatters me, kaso I don't reciprocate much kasi ayoko naman mag sinungaling.
But I pray for her that she finds her security in God and not what other people say to her or about her.

[phoenixyox]

May insecure friend din ako noon, grabe parang ginagaya na ako, pag ano meron ako noon after a few days meron din sya. I have this jacket that everyone says its flattering on me, siya lang ang bukod tanging nagsabi na 'ang pangit naman ng jacket na yan'. At hindi lang doon natapos, pati mga guy friends ko gusto nya maging close din nya, even call them the way i call them. Umabot pa sa point na yung nanliligaw sa akin 'mahal' na daw nya. Sows. So hurt talaga ako.

What I did was I kept my distance. Kahit sabay kami lagi kumain noon I really declined. She noticed it naman and did not press on. Just so naging civil nalang kami.

After some time officemates come and go, and they have this similar dislike towards this ex-friend of mine. I realized that, maybe, I was the only one who appreciated her, and she lost me. She was never a friend to me after all. Even her friends and barkadas in college disowns her.

Bottomline is, surround yourself with positive people and get rid of the negative people. These negative people just weigh you down. They're not worth to be in your life because you are so much better growing and being happy. You are responsible for your total health and well being.

[lili_cute]

@ aquacharly & stylishmomy & Kady_14 thanks sa advice. i guess i really have to be strong to make the right decision and face na some people aren't meant to be part of my life. thanks again.

agape well sis, atleast hindi negative ang friend mo. she is insecure but she doesn't bring others down to lift herself up.

@ phoenixyox naiintindihan kita sis especially dun sa part na kung ano meron ka, gusto niya din. ganun din yung situation ko. sometimes when we go on shopping, kung ano piliin ko, kinukuha din niya but then there was a time na wala siyang pera. she seems upset at dahil ayoko maging insensitive, ayoko na din mamili kasi ayoko ng feeling na masagana ako tapos yung kasama ko hindi. what you said about surrounding myself with positive people and get rid of the negative people is so true. i guess kaya minsan palaging negative ang araw/buhay ko ay dahil sa mga negative na tao.

thanks everyone for the replies. i really appreciate everything.

[douxmadchen]

Bottomline is, surround yourself with positive people and get rid of the negative people. These negative people just weigh you down. They're not worth to be in your life because you are so much better growing and being happy. You are responsible for your total health and well being.

True.

[anvillanueva]

let them be..mabigat kasama pag nega... dedma na lang sis.. parang yung ginagawa ko dito now sa office..mas ok na mag isa na lang ako kesa sumama ako sa kanila..magulo kase sobra

[anonymous0124]

THEY are NOT FRIENDS therefore IGNORE and don't waste PRECIOUS TIME

[anvillanueva]

have you tried confronting her? maybe shes not aware na nakaka offend na sya.. may ganun kaseng tao. but if nakausap mo na sya and wala pa din pagbabago well..its time na siguro na lumayo.. burn the bridges behind..

[JayLan]

Dedma lang

[xtine]

Deadma lang.  Pero if I need them, I effort to praise them kuno.  Make them feel good about themselves.  But otherwise, I do not waste my time.  There are friends who are happy for your achievements for real.

[freelancer_babe]

I try to be helpful kung close ko talaga. Encouraging them do works wonders. Since close kasi, they do listen. Kahit maliliit na goals lang.

If not, I avoid them. Pangit talaga ang may mga nakapaligid na negative people. They really suck your energies big time saka they also hinder you in achieving things.

[chicafabulosa]

To TS: I want to be honest with you ha sis, your so called friend is nothing but a b****. Why would she finds happiness in humiliating you. Dont think too much about saving your friendship, to begin with I doubt she even treated you as her friend. Friend respect each other not humiliate each other.

Bs thing to do, IGNORE HER... do not even bother saving your relationship with her. Unless you're a masochist. But seriously, surround yourself with friends who empowers you and not someone who drags you down. If he finds satisfaction in humiliating or making fun at your expense, she is not worth to keep. The more you try to keep her, the more negative vibes you will have. And remember, what you feel inside comes out in how to interact or see yourself. Sometimes it will come to a point you will think what they are saying are actually true. So AVOID HER LIKE A PLAGUE. It sounds harsh but save yourself and your sanity. I dont like to be with someone like her. If she thinks she looks cool by making fun out of you, aba dont think twice... Dump her...

You dont need people like her, you can find a lot of people who will genuinely be your friend. Hindi yung ginagawa ka lang katatawanan. And best revenge, LIVE WELL.. Nothing pisses off those who envy you by showing that you are happy and doing better without them in your life...

[wowry]

Avoid her. Confronting her will either make the situation better or worse depending on her personality. Minsan ikaw na concern ikaw pa mapapasama just because you are trying to help her change or see things differently.It happened to me twice na. Ako kasi yung tipo ng taong kahit sinasabi na ng iba na iwasan ko ang isang bagong kakilala dahil masama ugali i still give them benefit of the doubt then once i get to know them and see how they act weird or differently sometimes to the point of hurting me or other people around me, i tried talking to them sincerely and explain to them in a very nice way but twice nangyari sa akin na ako pa napasama so nadala na rin ako.next time I encounter these negative people, i'll just avoid them because people will NEVER change for you. They will change only when they WANT to.

[agape]

^you can always ask permission first if you can be brutally honest and confront the person or not. and you can also state the (good or bad) consequence first before actually saying anything, but if the person says NO, then leave him/her alone, at least you tried to tell, di ba?

[wowry]

^ang mahirap nga sis sila mismo nagtatanong bakit daw ako lang nagttyaga sa kanila bakit daw ang ibang friends ko at ibang tao sa paligid obviously iniiwasan sila then kukulitin ka sabihin ang dahilan syempre nung una hindi ko pa masabi ng diretso hanggang sa ako na rin mismo naapektuhan pagtagal tagal dahil madalas ko na nakakasama then when i tried explaining na ayon sa akin pa nagalit haha kaloka.minsan ang personality nila ganun na talaga hindi nila mean makasakit ng tao at wala sila intensyong masama kaya talagang mahirap din ipaliwanag at ipaintindi kasi para sa kanila wala sila ginagawang masama.

[anonymous0124]

Yeah, Stick with POSITIVE PEOPLE that will bring the best out of YOU and your LIFE.

[douxmadchen]

^ i agree. you must surround yourself with people who inspire you. kapag nega ang people na kasama mo, it will only bring negative aura so just try to give them time, the space they need and let them be. if they irritate you, step out for a while para bawas stress!