DO YOU FEEL IT IF HE'S CHEATING?

[girl24]

sis, sorry ha pero 12 out of 12 eh ganyang gayan ang hubby ko, ayun true enough me girlalu nga. please trust your instinct.

same lang pala mga ginagawa ng lalake noh? especially in the mall part, hubby ko wiwi lang daw aba ang tagal! daig pa ang babae. yun pala dun nagtetext / call.

mag investigate ka till you have proof to show him kasi kung gut feel lang pagtatawanan ka lang talaga niya eh kahit nga me solid evidence ka na kuntodo deny pa rin mga guys.

[heaven_charm]

ang hirap naman mag-investigate. ang layo ng abu dhabi. ahaha. i think napapraning lang ako kasi first time na LDR kami although almost a year nadin kami before he left and he had no signs of cheating naman nun nandito pa siya.

[ReservoirDogs]

^

Don't drive yourself crazy trying to investigate if he's cheating or not.  Usually ang lalaki nabubuko lang naman yan kung 1) guy slips up, i.e. maging careless sa pagtatago (which is mostly the case); or 2) manggulo yung other girl.

So ang friendly advice ko lang is either to pray na wala syang kabit or get out of the relationship. Don't stress yourself out too much hanggang walang solid evidence.

[aquacharly]

Based on your story, he looks like he's cheating on you. He wouldn't want you to visit his new place cause his bathroom is dirty? DUH. I don't believe that he's always having overtime at work. what type of work is he doing? If I were you, I'd surprise him at his workplace or during lunch break or at his place to see if he's really hiding anything from you. You have to investigate for your peace of mind.

Agree. Turn up unannounced.  IMO, may parallel life  na yan establish na he is kuno single, etc etc.  Pwes, make it hard for him to maintain his story-telling-a-lie-life.  Insert yourslf into his life, circles, friendships. Shake it up a little -- naging pabaya ka din, really.  Do not be complacent, remain a challenge for your man always -- IMO, kelangan may konting takot a man sa wife/partner nya or else -- He will  take  her  for granted & likely to give in to temptation.

Given matagal na kayo -- it is but normal to expect you 2 make serious plans, whether married or
otherwise. Like,  buy a house/condo, travel abroad, etc. Even a kid.  Normal progression of a long-term
serious relationship  mga yan. 
If he is working OT - the extra funds should benefit you too, 7 years na kayo eh.   If lalo ka spending to
keep this relationship going -- - IMO, bad news (as your mom said nga) --  &  as I say: Numbers/pesos  don't lie. 

Hwag ka na mag antay to get irrefutable/solid evidence.  First it's hard, in at least 2 aspects.  Hahaha
Example: mahuli mo magkapatong.  Classic example eto ng lolo ko.  The husband will never admit. He will say:  Hindi ako yan, nananaginip ka lang.
If you don't get into a crime of passion right then & there at umuwi ka, at mag usap kayo --  per my lolo, ma sweet talk si wife to think:  1 night stand lang yon, lasing  lang si hubby,  etc etc etc.  Coz per my lolo, wives don't want to face the truth most of the time -- too hurtful, and they are scared the husband will not choose them & the kids.

So, for me -- talk to him & tell him if you will drop him like a hot camote or you wanna revitalize  your relationship IF he is betrayng you now.   BUT whatever his reaction --  if you really wanna get near The Truth -- pwes, PRESS your presence into every aspect of his life.  That way, he cannot run 2 parallel lives.  If he wants to go on with you -- konting adjustment yan. Pero if happier sya sa other life nya -- magkakabw1sitan kayo. Good, at least you read the writing on the wall.  Remember, Love can not be forced -- kahit you have a history of 50 years.  Better you know sooner than later, if you are gonna part ways. 
 

[babykat]

I definitely think he's cheating on you.  His reasons for the his behavior just don't cut it.  Buti na lang you're not married yet, and don't have any kids.  Think about it carefully, plan your next move and be ready to drop him.  Better to let a cheater go than to wait around and hope he'll change.

[Len0523]

Agree. Turn up unannounced.  IMO, may parallel life  na yan establish na he is kuno single, etc etc.  Pwes, make it hard for him to maintain his story-telling-a-lie-life.  Insert yourslf into his life, circles, friendships. Shake it up a little -- naging pabaya ka din, really.  Do not be complacent, remain a challenge for your man always -- IMO, kelangan may konting takot a man sa wife/partner nya or else -- He will  take  her  for granted & likely to give in to temptation.

Given matagal na kayo -- it is but normal to expect you 2 make serious plans, whether married or
otherwise. Like,  buy a house/condo, travel abroad, etc. Even a kid.  Normal progression of a long-term
serious relationship  mga yan. 
If he is working OT - the extra funds should benefit you too, 7 years na kayo eh.   If lalo ka spending to
keep this relationship going -- - IMO, bad news (as your mom said nga) --  &  as I say: Numbers/pesos  don't lie. 

Hwag ka na mag antay to get irrefutable/solid evidence.  First it's hard, in at least 2 aspects.  Hahaha
Example: mahuli mo magkapatong.  Classic example eto ng lolo ko.  The husband will never admit. He will say:  Hindi ako yan, nananaginip ka lang.
If you don't get into a crime of passion right then & there at umuwi ka, at mag usap kayo --  per my lolo, ma sweet talk si wife to think:  1 night stand lang yon, lasing  lang si hubby,  etc etc etc.  Coz per my lolo, wives don't want to face the truth most of the time -- too hurtful, and they are scared the husband will not choose them & the kids.

So, for me -- talk to him & tell him if you will drop him like a hot camote or you wanna revitalize  your relationship IF he is betrayng you now.   BUT whatever his reaction --  if you really wanna get near The Truth -- pwes, PRESS your presence into every aspect of his life.  That way, he cannot run 2 parallel lives.  If he wants to go on with you -- konting adjustment yan. Pero if happier sya sa other life nya -- magkakabw1sitan kayo. Good, at least you read the writing on the wall.  Remember, Love can not be forced -- kahit you have a history of 50 years.  Better you know sooner than later, if you are gonna part ways.

Very Well Said Sis!
 

[indigo.tulle]

i have a SIMPLE question and with your answer, you'd know if he is or is not:

are you guys still making love?

[heaven_charm]

si bf may inadd na new girl sa facebook. hindi siya kilala ng girl eh pero taga neighborhood din nila. maputi na singkit yung girl (mga tipo ng bf ko). naoffend ako sa ginawa niya.

should i be worried sa incident na to? alam niya kasi na ayoko ng nag-aadd siya pero ginawa niya.   

[quinone]

TS, tama si twelvth_goddess, be prepared baka may kinakasama na siya. sa kwento mo parang emotionally absent na talaga siya. kahit let say, kasama mo pa siya sa bahay, i-advice ko sayo let him go na lang kasi emotionally absent.

heaven_charm, huwag ka magalit ha...LDR is not for everyone. don't drive yourself crazy kasi parang wala namang issue. baka ang issue is selosa ka? kahit 1000 babae pa i-add niya sa FB kung wala siyang history ng cheating, edi walang problema, of course unless meron.

chaka sa post niya sa FB sabi niya, "papanoodin yung mga ngkalat na b-- sa paligid..." hindi naman niya sinabi "nakipag intercourse." hindi lahat ng lalaki pumapatol sa mga poks.

[heaven_charm]

@quinone, thanks for the feedback. nagusap kame ni bf ngayon about sa girl inadd niya. nagsinungaling siya sakin ng walang kagatol gatol. wah! sabi niya last year padaw niya inadd yung girl na yun ngaun lang nagconfirm pero nun sinabi ko sa kanya na April 25, 2013 lang gawa yung account nun girl tumahimik na siya. then he changed his response again, sabi niya naman pampadami lang daw ng friends then block nalang niya yung girl

tapos sabi pa nya nasad daw siya sinira niya yung roaming sim niya di ko na siya mattxt sa fb nalang kame pwede magusap. then nun nagalit ako, bigla niya nilabas yung sim niya di padaw sira

i find it alarming kasi kaya na niya ngayon mag-lie sakin. or probably dati pa niya ginagawa pero ngayon ko lang napansin. wala siya history ng cheating sakin pero sa ex niya na friend ko meron. probably ngaun palang siya nagstart gumawa ng cheating history with me

[quinone]

^parang hindi siya sanay magsinungaling. ang mga pro na sinungaling hindi nagbabago ng istorya, mabubuking mo lang na may bungi sa kwento.

[iamshiela]

^^@heaven_charm grabe sinungaling niya ah!! iwanan mo na yan sis.

[heaven_charm]

@quinone, yeah ndi nga sya sanay mag-lie. mabilis kasi siya mataranta pag nagtatalak na ko kaya napapaamin siya bigla. pero ayoko naman na nagpa-practice siya maglie kasi baka mamaya ma-master niya.

@iamshiela, i gave him his final warning na. next is termination pag naulit pa.   

thanks for listening and for the comfort. i feel better now. magdamag din kame nagchat sa fb about this issue. i think naman i made it clear to him kung ano mga ayaw ko. sabi ko wag siya mag-aadd ng maputing chinita lalo na pag di ko kilala 

[Girltalker2]

^parang hindi siya sanay magsinungaling. ang mga pro na sinungaling hindi nagbabago ng istorya, mabubuking mo lang na may bungi sa kwento.

oo nga. unless iniisip nya na hindi ka nag-iisip at mabilis mabilog ang ulo mo.

ang mga professional liars, gaya ng ex ko, ay sila pa ang galit if you start questioning them, which would lead to your self-doubt. 

mukhang di pa nga sya sanay maglie. pero sis heaven_charm, ang hirap naman makipag away, esp LDR kayo.  Pero at the same time, mahirap din naman tumahimik at listahan na muna ng mga errs para pag nagkita tsaka i-discuss. 

[heaven_charm]

@girltalker2, alam kasi ni bf mahina ako sa ins and outs ng fb eh kaya siguro akala niya makakalusot. buti nalang marunong na ako mangalkal ng fb ngayon.

hirap nga magaway pag magkalayo, dati away namin di lumalagpas ng 12 hours kasi pinupuntahan niya ko para kumalma ako, ngayon umaabot na ng 24hours na masama ang loob ko. buti nalang di ako sinasabayan ni bf ng galit tapos di nalang siya masyado nagcocomment pag ang dami ko sinasabi.

so far mas ok padin naman tong relationship namin kesa sa mga ex ko. wala pa ko nakakaharap na other woman in 13 months na kame. sa mga ex ko kasi before almost every month may nakakaharap ako other girl. pag nanyare siguro ulet yun sakin samin ni current bf makikipagsabunutan na talaga ako. i had 2 ex nakabuntis pa ng ibang girl. sobrang kakastress ang cheating

[althea_ge]

just wondering ano na ngyari sa thread starter go_earnest...di na siya nagparamdam