We're living in together for almost seven years. We're pretty much a normal couple, with normal problems who can't get married for numerous practical reasons. I'm not the selosa/insecure type. He's not either. We never had problems about cheating (or so I thought), but he's sort of a chronic liar (white lies over small things), but I've always been the nonchalant/deadma type so not much a big deal for me.
He moved to a different job late last year. Then I started noticing a few changes, mostly in his behavior.
1. He would always want to work OVERTIME. Which he never did in his previous job. He would work 3-5 hours in excess. Which I never really cared much about because I work until the late hours too. His reasons are practical, he wanted extra cash. So it didn't really bother me at first.
2. He suggested that he would stay in a house near his workplace (with his guy colleagues, mostly engineers) and just go home every Saturday. He told me he's spending too much on gas/toll/fare if he goes home everyday. He also said that he could work OVERTIME for LONGER HOURS if he lives near. I agreed. We had completely different work schedules and him not disturbing me early in the morning when he gets up for work is quite convenient on my part.
3. I wanted to check out their "house", but he didn't want me to, telling me that the bathroom is dirty, and that I would just complain. So I didn't bother anymore.
4. He would "unintentionally" forget to call/text me because he's TOO TIRED from working OVERTIME. If I get mad about it, he would turn off his phone and we won't talk for a day or so. And when we get to talk, we won't even mention what happened.
5. He works OVERTIME but he would always complain about not having enough money. We always split the expenses at home but for the past few months, I shoulder almost everything. I never bothered to check his payslip because I personally feel that it's private (though I'm tempted to ask him for it, but I'm afraid he would react negatively). I don't get gifts, expensive dinners, or spontaneous trips anymore either. Proof that he doesn't have enough money.
6. When he goes home, he's always TOO TIRED. no, EXHAUSTED is the best word. I've never seen him like that before. I would always think it's because he works OVERTIME. If I complain about it, he would tell me I SHOULD TRY TO UNDERSTAND HIM MORE. But I don't feel it's right.
7. He's just suddenly too concerned about the way he looks (physically) and how much he has gained weight. He's always bugging me for a good SPF, which was funny at first but now I find it all weird.
8. When we're together, say at the mall, he would always find a reason to excuse himself. Like he needs to go to the bathroom and check something at the hardware shop, etc. My mom noticed this pattern and told me "NAMBABABAE YAN" for no particular reason. She just said it like she's so sure of it. And when he comes back, he's suddenly so quiet.
9. I checked his phone and found no suspicious messages but I sensed that in some of the conversations, there seems to be some missing texts. Like a message was deleted because the last message doesn't really connect with the recent message.
10. I told him that I think he's cheating, he laughed at me and told me that he thinks I'm just being cute.
11. I HONESTLY FEEL THAT HE'S CHEATING. LIKE MY INSIDES ARE TELLING ME THERE'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG. BUT I CANNOT PROVE IT. DO YOU REALLY FEEL IF HE'S CHEATING OR AM I JUST BEING CRAZY?
12. This morning I was calling him, but he keeps on canceling my call. He texted me and told me he's talking to someone from work, and told me he'd call after 20 minutes. 2 hours had passed and he didn't. That includes his lunch break. I texted him and demanded an explanation but he didn't respond. When he answered my call (with me ALMOST SCREAMING), he was whispering and told me "NASA TRABAHO AKO, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER" and now his phone is turned off for the past 2 hours. How cool is that?
I really can't recall all the other changes (signs?) but I would write them down here if I remember. Right now I'm just so confused. And with my mom telling me that he is cheating, I can't really get it out of my head.
I need all the advice I can have. Thank you for your time.
