Sometimes, my love grows cold...

[daveigh]

^ hahaha, hindi naman sis. Kahit naman bago or matagal nang kasal, laging may issue.

[miss resilient]

^tama po kayo diyan....

sometimes, nagdadalawang isip ako bumili ng something kasi pag nagtatalo kami nadadamay sa issue.

[mscuriosity]

hay naku mga sister ganito talga ang buhay di lahat ng bagay naayos sa ating preference kasama na ang mga BF at asawa syan. =)

My advise to you is to read a book that could probably help you understand men and how to influence them.

I've recommend this to most of my friends and they really find it helpful.

"Men from Mars, Women from Venus". May free download to net so try it.

Oh thanks! I'll give time to read this book.

[BabyAnnisha]

May quote lang ako, i heard it From Kim Atienza while watching show time......

Topic nila is about true love.....

Kim Atienza: " Bilang Kuya niyo and from 11 years of experience being married, my secret kaya tumagal ang relationship ko sa asawa ko dahil i always chose to love her over and over again. Even if may mga times na tinatannong ko sa sarili ko ano ba namn itong pinasukan ko, even may mga times na ayaw ko na but at the end of the day i still choose to love her. for me thats true love" - hindi ito [textspeak!] exact words but the thought is the same.

For me  sis.... lahat namn ng tao may kamalian. maski ikaw.....and kahit di ka perfect, he still choose to be with you, to love you, at sa lahat namn ng relationship, may pagtatalo di maiiwasan yun... kasi magkaiba kayo.... kung ang kambal nga eh, nag aaway... kayo pa???

[greenpease05]

Oh thanks! I'll give time to read this book.

Honestly, you will love this book sis. You'll understand MEN more. BF or HUBBY pa siya. =))

I'm reading it also from time to time.

[aquacharly]

kasi minsan nakikita ko yung attitude niya na ikina tuturn off ko..like minsan mahina siya sa decision making minsan problema ang inaakyat niya sa bahay..wala naman siyang vices and he is nice naman in some ways pero minsan siya mismo pinapakita niyang weak siya na ako pa ang mag eencourage sa kanya na lakasan niya loob niya...minsan ang tigas pa ng ulo di sumusunod sa mga dapat sundin na dapat kaya napapahamak...at times, i asked God to fill my needs na di niya napupunan kasi if i would turn to other man darating rin ang time na may kapalpakang mangyayari ...kaya ganun..sometimes talaga di ko makuhang magsabi ng i love you sa kanya dahil sa ganito....kasi a colleague of mine asked bakit di ako nagiilove you sa kanya pag tumatawag siya sa phone sa office. 

Hahaha, tell your tsismosa office mate --  people express love in different ways. May mga panay say ILY
 pero susko top philanderer naman.  Kung hindi ka maboka, you may be  a private person who does not want to be personal in a professional setting.
It's nobody's business, really. 
Plus, best you don't compare your relationship with that of others. 

Well, nobody's perfect. Good he tells you his fears, his issues, etc.
My lolo tells us his apos that he and my lola suffered through the malas-na-kabit phase, which we should all not duplicate -- primarily because when he had doubts about surviving business lows  --
he could not face his wife with his problems --  kasi he was the strong one, the protector. Kaya ayon - cuento & relax with the kabit. Ngek

But really, Life is tiring. Loving someone is tiring. If he betrays you, more than tiring kasi when even the  heart too gets tired -- haynaku..... 
We all get tired kaya one must maintain a positive attitude as much as possible (if can't do it always).
It also helps to give one's self  little breaks. .   Pag grrr ako sa certain trait/habit/gawain ni hubby -- I go spend a few hours at the spa, or go to a hiphop class to diminish my grrrrr.   Don't let the resentment/irritation/suya/grrr build up. 

When you feel no love -- try to think back to the start -- what are the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place? Are the reasons/traits/factors still there? Kita mo pa? Kung wala na --  ooopz -- mag Retrouvaille Seminar kayo with MOMMY FE GLORIA.  Relatives & friends say they gained a very helpful perspective from that seminar. 

[chefron]

Sometimes i also ask myself, baket nga ba naging cold?

I worry kase i cannot remember the last time he made me smile or kinilig ako ng totoong kilig. It makes me sad kase parang ang panget naman ng nangyayari samin. Parang i feel lonely.

[aquacharly]

^yeah. Single people think one never grapples with loneliness once married.
Susko
One can be the loneliest person on earth even when one's spouse is snoring beside you, or just plain breathing beside you.
It's an issue of dis-connect, kaya we get lonely.

It's hard, but we gotta find new topics to both be interested in;  new activities to both engage in;  even new concerns to slap back the reality that: yes, we share a life; it's us together in this life.

Love sure can be tiring; but we just gotta work at our relationships to keep it all from getting tiresome.

[sugar n spice]

^^like like like

Minsan nga naiisip ko if I'm falling out of love, or just tired, or loyal lang talaga ako o baka naman, at the back of my mind, I know I deserve someone better.

But, aquarcharly, it's really good to read your advice and how you see things. Nakaka-enlighten. And of course, halos lahat naman ng mga sisses natin dito.

To TS, ask yourself why you're still staying. What's keeping you? Takot ka lang ba na yung "next guy" mas "bungi" kesa sa kanya?

You know, tayo lang naman ang nagpapalungkot sa sarili natin e. Tayo din yung kumokontrol sa buhay natin. We just have to accept the fact na ang tao walang kakuntentuhan. So kung hindi ka masaya, asses mo bakit. And don't expect too much.

[miss resilient]

For me  sis.... lahat namn ng tao may kamalian. maski ikaw.....and kahit di ka perfect, he still choose to be with you, to love you, at sa lahat namn ng relationship, may pagtatalo di maiiwasan yun... kasi magkaiba kayo.... kung ang kambal nga eh, nag aaway... kayo pa???

hahaha tama ka diyan..

@aquacharly - actually, lalaki po yung nagtanong 

@sugar n spice - nabanggit ko nga the reason why i am staying? because i want to be faithful to our commitment...kaya nga sabi ko sa umpisa pa lang ng thread...i pray makatiis ako hanggang sa huli.

[Doink!]

I sometimes feel that way too, nagzo zone out ako when my patner talks to me, may bubble thought inside my head of unexpressed emotions. Minsan I dread intimate moments with him & would rather sleep minsan I fake it pa nga eh....Really Bad i know but being aware that you're feeling this way is a start to start asking yourself what's been bothering you & hopefully there's a way for both of you to work things out. I think you're feeling this way because of your deep discontent kase may mga unmet expectations ka but I think you must learn to express such sentiments that he will not resent you for it. Try not to make padaplis (Guilty!), panumbat (Guilty!), & Pa sigaw (Guilty!)....

[miss resilient]

^hahahaha

oo nga doink..unmet expectations..these are the right words.

[sugar n spice]

miss resilient: oo nga naman. actually kaya nga ako nandito sa thread na to e... i also have my own questions

[kabes]

minsan din naman may mga zone-out moments ako. yung tipong pagod na ko tapos puro problema sa work ang kinukwento nya. PERO, never ko yun pinapaalam sa kanya, para sakin pa din sya nakakakuha ng comfort. mahirap na kasi baka sa iba pa mag-open up.

read nyo yung secrets of fascinating womanhood, parang ang dami kong realizations dun. pag nagbago kasi tayo ng actions, iba ang reactions na makukuha natin sa guys. so ayun, very effective sa akin yung kadamihan sa sinasabi sa book. may thread na dito, hanapin nyo na lang.

[cabbagepatch]

minsan kasi di natin talaga maiwasan makaramdam ng ganito lalo na yung partner natin insensitive sa mga needs natin samantalang pag sila me pangangailangan nanginginig ka pa maibigay yung 100% na suporta mo or kahit na ano pa man na kailangan nila mapaligaya mo lang sila

[miss resilient]

miss resilient: oo nga naman. actually kaya nga ako nandito sa thread na to e... i also have my own questions

i-share na yan! 

[bluegintonic]

pa-join...

I've had an ex bf na pareho kaming type A personality.As usual clashes happen A LOT.We've had a very tumultous relationship to the point na love-hate na yata yun. Kung sa romantic, oo super romantic.Kaso hindi mawala yung parehong super strong ang personalities namin (kaya siguro kami na-attract to each other).Overly dramatic mga away-bati namin,walang linggong dumadaan na hindi kami nagaaway tapos magbabati rin. When we broke up,sabi niya (and I quote) " We can't be together coz we're TOO MUCH ALIKE". He's the only bf who broke up with me and it was a very painful blow to the ego.

Lesson learned, I've moved on. It took me a while na single lang ako kasi mabigat yung sinabi niya and I was afraid of doing the same mistake It really does matter, our personalities. Baka nasa personality lang ni hubby mo talaga yan na passive siya? nakakarindi minsan na walang kusang palo ang guy.Lalo at guy sila kasi programmed na sa female brain natin na dapat pag guy, ASSERTIVE. It can both be a blessing and a curse , depends on how you look at it. Kaysa naman matulad ka sa akin at yung ex bf ko na walang hanggang away bati until we broke up finally, baka dapat ipagpasalamat mo na medyo ganyan personality niya.

My husband is a perfect balance  of assertive-passive.Sa career niya,sa work niya,sa pag-provide-passionate siya and he's very proactive. When it comes to our relationship,he knows when he has to shut up and let me have my way Baka need lang ninyp mag-asawa mag self-search and get your life in order before anybody decides to takes drastic actions.

HTH

[miss resilient]

^nice one..like!

[sugar n spice]

i-share na yan! 

heheh well it's more of financial prob kaya parang minsan nawawalan ako ng gana. Parang he's not man enough. Pero sa dami na kasi ng pinagdaanan namin ngayon pa ba ako susuko? Hindi din naman sya 100% palpak. Nagkataon lang siguro na mas madiskarte ako. O well... sana malagpasan na namin to.

So kamusta ka naman? Kamusta kayo?

[ukays best]

I'm enjoying reading your posts Girls coz I can relate hahaha..Anyway, I read somewhere in a book na "love" can be used in two ways..pwede daw as a noun and a verb..tayong mga girls, we want it to use as a noun..alam mo yung may kilig tapos walang problema, ika nga, you are like floating in the clouds.

But I read this in a book that when you feel that the love is slowly fading, that's the time that you need to use the love as a verb. mahirap man intindihin but at times when you feel na nawawala na love mo sa asawa mo, that is the time for you to learn how to love him -MORE. Lahat ng flaws nya ilove mo para maintidihan mo and you will be able to find ways on how to handle it.

It takes a lot of time and effort. There are times when you feel like giving up and say, "whoa! I wish I'm single again!", right? But marriage life is a bitter-sweet ride. It's a journey that dapat dalawa kayo magkasama.

If the issue here is something about weak decision making nya, well, accept it that it's one of his weaknesses. To make it work, try first doing the major decisions then let him sa minor ones hanggang he'll soon get the hang of it and eventually kaya na nya gagawa ng malalaking decisions.

For you to understand him better (on that aspect) check mo yung upbringing nya from him family, baka he is not used to make any decision. ..or check his past experiences, baka may nagawa syang decision (na pumalpak ) and he can't accept and let go of it...things like that. Knowing the root cause can make you understand the whole situation better. Mahirap gawin but tayong mga Girls ang may kakayahang gawin yan..(the better ones)

Just a piece of thought..