No Lovelife. No Work.

[annd]

hi girls! i just posted a while ago in the workplace tales and financial fitness thread "the feeling of unemployed". anyway, right now, i feel that my life is miserable and if only i can kill myself, i would do it. YES. but its against god's will so i am not doing it, i still think that im sane, even for a little.

first off, i dont have a lovelife. yes, i cant still move on from the past but im sure of it that i am not crying because of him. i am crying simply because i dont get any support from my mom regarding my resignation. i dont want to think that way, but thats what i feel.

anyway, right now, i have a feeling that i am having a quarter-life crisis, 25 pa lang ako, turning 26. wish i could turn back time at maging baby ulit where i can start over. yung feeling na di mo alam ang gagawin mo sa buhay mo. i know my goals are, i want to finish my masteral, and also, i want to have a stable job that CAN give me and my future family a FUTURE that i want. there.

any advice? opinion? or experience. please share because somehow, i want to be enlightened. the feeling of i am in the wrong track, the feeling of i will grow old alone, the feeling of no future at all. and a lot more.

[entwife]

Hi annd.

I read both of your posts. I can say you are actually suffering from a quarter life crisis. If you have read the other thread related to this, you would know na hindi lang ikaw ang ganito.

First, huwag mo pagsabay-sabayin yung problems. Focus ka muna sa sarili mo. Assess yourself. You mentioned your goals, now think kung paano mo maaabot yun. Yung procedure, yung steps on how to get there.
But as of now, I think you need a breather. Pahinga lang sandali just to clear your mind.

Also do not compare yourself sa iba. You are a unique version of yourself. So what if most women at the age of 25 eh may lovelife? During this time, the least that you would want to have is romance.

Take it one day at a time.

 

[dkbgutierrez]

Hi sis! There was one point in my life I felt like that (although for different reasons). This story snapped me out of it. Read on. I hope it can help.


A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

[khayzee]

Nice story  Iisipin ko nga lagi yan..
@Ts, about lovelife, dont worry too much, wala sa age yan, i know people on their 30s pero single.. wala sa age, nasa Gods will kung kelan Nya ibibigay.

[imnotjanica]

this is somehow my life at the moment or worse.. i passed the chem eng'g board exam last nov 2012 but still hindi pa ako nakakahanap ng work.. my father just lost his job.. palagi pa syang nanghihingi ng pera sa mama ko..  so we are poor right now.. hindi naman ako maka job hunt outside our province 'cause wala ako pamasahe and money for renting a place...nasa bahay lang ako..napakaboring na talaga..  i have no bf since birth.. kung mawawala ako sa world, parang walang effect... or no one would notice.. hahayz.. but i'm allowing this moment as it is.. i'm trying to be patient and thankful for being alive and that i have a house to go home to and we still eat 3 times a day... =) aja!

[pumpkin13]

I understand how this feels. First, being unemployed. It's really hard especially if you have to support other people apart from yourself. Breadwinner ako but I have been unemployed since Nov 2012. It's hard to find a job where you see yourself working for a long time until you retire. In my case, undergrad ako so hindi  ako pwede maging choosy sa work. All my occupational life has been spent on BPOs and I'm tired. Really tired. I can't take in calls for the rest of my life. I'm past the "midlife crisis" and yet here I am, still in crisis.

To the TS, don't think that it's the end of the world for you. Ako, I still have my hopes up na someday, I'll find where I belong. Mahaba pa kasi ang buhay. Malay mo bukas mag-iba na. It hurts me when I think about my mom, how I promised her that she will never face any hardship again. But I failed in that department. We are suffering, financially. And I'm still finding where and what will make me happy. And I know I will soon find it. So what I'm saying is, everyone must be going through hardship at different levels pero one thing we should have in common is hope and positive attitude.

@imnotjanica: sis, baka pwede ka muna maghanap ng sideline online para makaipon ka ng pera pang jobhunt.

About lovelife, bonus na lang siguro yun. Once you're stable, everything else will follow, including your lovelife.

Cheers to us!

[bluewingedangel]

Sis, don't ever think of taking your life. Ako din i felt really down nung ma diagnose ako ng carcinoma (i'm cancer free na, thank God). I had to stop working, everyday feeling ko useless ako, but my doctor counselled me. Na realize ko i had a lot to be thankful for. Yung gumigising ako sa umaga, isang malaking blessing na yun. Trabaho, darating yan. Love life, ganun din darating din. Just be patient and pray hard. Hindi naman all the time nasa baba ka diba?

[mooncake and leaves]

Focus on the issues you can fix. You said you want to take your post-bac. So, do that. What are the steps you're taking to go from point A to point B? Have a plan. Write it all down, write the steps and give it a realistic timeline. Everything starts from knowing what you want. Huwag kang pa-depress (I like the glass of water story posted above) especially since you're actually done with the first and most important step. When I was going through a similar phase, that was the thing that drove me nuts-- not knowing what I wanted to do.

If your mom is being unsupportive, don't take it all too personally. She's probably just worried that you're making a bad decision. Trabaho ng parents yun na mag-alala, mangaral, etc. It's possible she worries about the financial hit on her and everyone else if you go back to school. If you don't want to be burdened by her opinion, then you have to figure out a way to suppprt yourself, which would mean you might have to work and study at the same time. It'll be taxing but that's the price you pay for being an adult. Dive into the actual work of fixing your life and the load gets lighter. If you're going to indulge that feeling of helplessness, talagang you'll be depressed. The only way to cure that is to actually do something.

[anonymous0124]

Whatever the problem is, it really depends on how you look at it. No matter what kind of support system you have, it helps but at the end of the day YOU are still the one who can change/do something about your life or solve the problem. It's in the attitude