Is cheating or having an affair INEVITABLE? (for men)

[oshiawase]

I feel sad whenever I hear/see husbands cheating on their wives. Kasi everytime, I feel pessimistic na about getting married.

I'm only 20yo and at this point, I am still, deep inside, hopeful of the "bright" future ahead. That includes getting married to a loyal husband.

But hearing news about this makes me lose faith in...men. haha

I have a guy-friend who is married. He is this oh-so-nice and loyal-looking guy. Then it's just recently that I found out he is courting our friend. DAMN. Sakit nun malaman both as their common friend and as a girl.

Although I kinda know na "inevitable" na may temptation pero sana naman hindi inevitable ang pangangaliwa.


Guys, please.

hahaha.

[JINJIN:*]

kung ang lalake eh mahihiwalay (e.g.abroad) sa asawa...ang sagot ko OO, isang malaking OO. Pero there is always exemption to every rule, siguro mga 5 sa isangdaan lalake na hiwalay ng lokasyon asawa lol

it is also sad to know..na usong uso ang kabitan. Saan mang sulok, pangit gwapo, pandak mahirap mayaman, kahit ano ka pa eh capable sa ganito.

Wala na ba talagang essence ang kasal ngayon? haysssttt..

[preciosa]

May naging co worker ako sa middle east 6 years ago na din... Nung bago lang ako dun ang chismis nag iisa lang siyang guy dun na hindi nagkaron ng other woman while his wife nasa pinas at siya nga sa middle east... More than 15yrs na siya nag wwork dun as cashiert, hindi naman siya pangit, hindi din naman siya kaguapuhan pero napakabait niya... Kuya namin siya pero hindi siya ganon ka tanda naman... At nakita ko kung gaano nga talaga siya ka loyal at faithful sa wife niya grabe... Ang swerte swerte ng wife niya... Nakakatuwa lang na kahit papano may mga ganon pang mga lalake... Kahit naman father in law ko faithful din sa mother in law ko...

[Girltalker2]

There are a few exceptions. Pero sa panahon ngayon, in the Philippine society, where it is done boldly and blatantly, with the consent of agreeing friends. my answer is Most likely in the Philippine setting.

[fegloria1954]

Here is my 2 cents' worth:

Someone may eventually have an affair, no matter who he/she married, no matterhow the spouse looked like pre vs post marriage

Hmmm, I dont think I have stated it as clearly as I would have wanted to.  I will try to state it in Tagalog

Ang asawang nangaliwa ay mangangaliwa kahit iba - at hindi ikaw - ang napangasawa.  This is because weakness has to do with the person who made the decision to have the (to borrow Aquacharly's words) itch scratched by someone else other than the spouse.

Uuupps, my Tagalog turned to English naman.  okay, back to English.

The misery in the marriage has to do with both spouses thinking that the betrayal committed by the erring spouse is the fault of the betrayed spouse.  The erring spouse fails to accept responsibility and will keep on blaming the spouse and everyone else.  The betrayed spouse will believe what is repeatedly stated and implied by the erring spouse about who is to blame, starts examining his/herself to try to establish if he/she indeed is to blame, and then reacts in various manners - anger, tears, etc. etc.  then starts the misery in the home that will - and now I will use the word - inevitably include the children, affect them and influence their own atitudes about relationships and how conflicts are faced.  And so the circles goes on and on and on.

Nope, I will not say that the erring couple is to blame.  I choose to instead say the erring couple indeed has a weakness in character that leads him/her to make decisions that are not necessarily good for a marriage relationship that was to be exclusive and lifelong.

In the end, yes I agree: both the erring spouse and the betrayed spouse have become victims.  And the best they can do is to cooperate, and hand in hand help each other get out from that abyss of misery.  And once they have transcended their most of their issues and problems, then together thay can look back with thankfulness, and LEARN from all the traumatic experiences they have undergone.

Amen.

Mommy Fe

[caterpillar-girl]

No I don't believe cheating is inevitable. I don't think life is that predictable. If it were, how boring life would be.

Cheating does happen quite a lot, but so do a whole lot of other things. As for your friend, TS, IF your husband does have an affair, tell her wag sya magalala at sya ang unang unang makakaalam.

[mimiku]

Pretty and Sexy huh?

I'm so amused.

And so with all of the subsequent explanations about being hygienic and all…

I’m starting to consider some men are really “that” superficial but yes, I recognized your point.

Now here's mine -
 
We all lose our beauty – skin will sag eventually and some women will get fat after giving birth.

What happens next? Will that justify a man to cheat because his wife was caught up by age, metabolism or being a mere mortal human ultimately? And if that’s the case that marriage is dependent heavily in these criteria, should we start to embark on a quest to look for the legendary Fountain of Youth, as early as now?

Anyway, I believe no matter how kind, how pretty, howwwwww indescribably and so perfectly sexy in and out of bed a wife is, if a man is willing to cheat, no bars and no mountain so high will keep him away from putting his tool in places other than into his legitimate spouse. Same with the opposite sex. No need for those sugar coated phrases. And it’s not a matter of being perfect but rather it’s a matter of character. It’s a matter of willingness to commit and honor his/her vows when he married his/her wife/husband –to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, and oh, for being pretty and ugly, sexy and fat, supple and wrinkled, until death do they part. AhhhMen.

Not all men are dogs. And yes, there are men out there who were able to abide by with their commitment and loyalty to their spouses (as what Preciosa presented). Those were TRUE MEN. And unfortunately and for some strange reason, they are so difficult to find.


I heard this from a friend, I don’t know, she got it from a movie, I forgot which one – Cheating is not an accident. It’s a CHOICE.

 
So what should married couples do? Errrr other than strive earnestly to be pretty, handsome, kind, hygienic and sexy in and out of bed?


PRAY. Strengthen their faith to God. Embrace contentment and change. COMMUNICATE. Lastly, develop a healthy self-esteem and love for oneself. Because if worse comes worst, you’ll have the strength to move on and let go if someone chooses to dump the relationship just because she/he became so shallow that she/he no longer sees the partner beautiful, pretty or sexy (*cough* in and out of bed).
 

To answer your question – A lot of guys are doing it nowadays, but I believe it’s not inevitable. I suppose, it depends on what kind of guy/woman you got yourself married to. *Oh dear me, there goes my faith in happily ever after*. 

 

 

[k_heart]

Sa mundong ginagalawan ko, (mundo talaga o), being faithful is the norm, it's the rule rather than
the exception. Pansin ko lang kasi dito sa Marriage Thread, mas marami lang talagang
girls na kinaliwa ang nagpo-posts kaya ang dating cheating is inevitable, at least in this Forum.