When is it enough to hold on?

[onlygirl]

In any relationship, respect and communication are very important.  If these two lacks in your relationship, then there is no reason to keep on holding on.  For as long as you have worked it out to your very best, but did not succeed, learn to make everything ends peacefully (after all it was your decision before to love that person) especially if there are kids involved and move on to find your happiness.

[bwiset12]

@aquacharly- sis thank you sa post mo.nakatulong sya na maliwanagan ako.paulit ulit ko syang binabasa.tama ka he psychologically abandoned our relationship (di naman kami kasal),i can say naman na okay okay na ko ngayon.once in a while na lang kung umiyak ako.nasasanay na ko na wala kaming communication,yun nga lang walang araw na hindi ko sya naiisip.tinatanong ko sa sarli ko kung somehow ba eh naiisip nya kaya kami??

@Girltalker2- nasa abroad sya sis.di na sya nakikipag communicate samin for almost 5months na.pero nagpapadala pa din naman sya.pag naman may nagtatanong kung kelan sya uuwi ang sinasagot ko lang eh hindi pa namin alam.siguro di pa ko ready ipagsigawan sa buong mundo kung anong ginawa nya samin.pero kadamihan ng mga kamag anak ko alam naman na nila.

thank you sa mga advices nyo mga sis. malaking tulong sa akin yan.siguro malapit na matatanggap ko din ang lahat and finally makaka move on din ako

[Girltalker2]

^ Sis, I understand iba iba tayo ng approach kahit pareho ang problema. Pero what I can share with you is how I moved on.  Kasi sakin, hindi man sya nasa abroad, parang wala lang nangyari. Minsan andyan sya, minsan wala. And feeling ko mas mahirap magmove on if he is still around kasi minsan wala ka nang pag asa, tapos susulpot. In any case, ako mismo lumayo so that mas matagal na panahon na hindi ko sya makita.  Since he is not willing to work it out, I might as well make it easier for both of us by making myself NOT love him, para at least both of us can move on.

Gaya mo, marami din nagtatanong sakin, asan na. Lagi ako naghahanap ng reason. Hanggang sabi ko sa sarili ko, bakit bako magpapakahirap mag explain sa iba.  So I started to let people know I am separated.  Pero nag umpisa ako sa mga taong hindi ko masyado ka close. Kasi meron parin akong "hiya" na factor na kinoconsider at that time. I started with sa parlor, sa saleslady, sa cab driver, etc. And the first time I did it, I remember that the feeling was so liberating.  Tipong pinagpractice-an ko muna. Then I proceeded with my officemates then friends, then hanggang sa nagamay ko na sya, and got the courage of "acceptance", tsaka ko nasabi sa close family members.  For me, it took some practice, acceptance and courage.  And repeating it helps in my recovery/acceptance.

In your case, ang hirap din kasi walang closure.  5 months no communication says it. Buti nagpapadala pa sya.  Hindi ko lang alam how you can tackle yours kasi iba naman ang case.  But just sharing on how I was able to get away with all of it.

[bwiset12]

^ oo nga sis ang hirap diba walang closure.12 years,2 kids, ganon na lang ba yun para sa kanya.nakahanap sya ng ipapalit sakin kaya bahala na ko sa buhay ko.at yan ang di ko pa matanggap sa ngayon kaya papano ko makakapag let go?

[Girltalker2]

try to seek some help muna in terms of counseling. maraming simbahan naman nag papa counsel din. para makarinig ka rin ng ibang point of view.

hindi madali.  My case was not easy as well pero andito ako to testify and let people know that it can be done kung talagang hindi na masalvage ang pagsasama.  We were together bf/gf, engaged, married for over 20 years.  Sya lang naging bf ko. May anak kami. Kaya ang hirap din.  But I was able to do it and just accept it - that people change. He was not like that before, but he changed.  At kung ayaw nya ibuild ulit ang pagsasama namin, hindi ko sya mapipilit but he has to understand that I want to live my own life too at hindi nako bata.

[ronelie]

hi sis! tama ka it's so hard to let go yet ilan beses mo ng naramdaman na di mo na kakayanin pa.there's a part of you na laging umaasa na pwede pa maayos eventhough parang 5% na lang pero ang lakas pa rin ng hatak sayo na wag mag- give up na.sabi nga nila in every marital problems, prayer is the best solution. pray for your partner's enlightenment.just like you, ganyan din ang dilema ko and sa tutoo lang pinapayuhan kita pero maski ako di ko na din alam kung kakayanin ko pa or hindi na.Basta sana maayos yan lalo pa dami nyo kids and pregnant ka pa.So dapat doble yngat okei!