1 VIRTUE/TRAIT//ABILITY, had you known earlier/better

[aquacharly]

For those among us who have been in a long relationship, with the serious intent to make this relationship (be it  a marriage or whatever) last into old age... tell me, after all you have experienced and the wisdom gained... WHAT is that ONE (1) virtue/trait/ability your partner/husband should have/has already  that would have made/makes   the journey together easier?

What about you, yourself?  WHAT is that ONE (1) virtue/trait/ability you  could have possessed or developed earlier, or aim to develop now (if not already possess now)  that would have made  the journey together easier?

I sure would have liked to see more of the virtue of KINDNESS in him.
   IMO, being kind is a more/very convincing way of showing a person is loved, warts and all, and not just the lovable, achieving, performing parts of that person.  Kindness is a prerequisite to being "connected".

The ability to show more/more frequent  APPRECIATION is what he says he seeks, so he says. 
   Frankly, I still do not quite effing get what more "appreciation" he yearns for.
   Kulang pa ba ako sa palakpak?  Am I not your eager crisis manager (inspite of my aversion) since I know you are so immersed in our businesses?   Isn't appreciation efficient home management, nurturing child rearing, prudent management of our family finances & resources, and being an active business partner?  Kelangan ko pa kantahan ka? 

 What about you?   

[quinone]

5 years kaming mag bf-gf then nagpakasal, now mag 13 years na kami together. definitely less than 5 times lang kami nag-away ng matindi. since halos wala na akong hanapin pa sa relationship namin, mababaw lang ang sagot ko sa questions mo

-parang wala akong maisip, parang he is perfert para sa akin...honestly.

-i am a pessimist, a worrier, so i need to pray more. alam ko it saddens him na he cannot comfort me completely. he hugs me often telling me not to worry and that we will pray for whatever we want.

sis, namention mo yung appreciation...i often tell my hubby, "you are the best husband in the world!" with matching big hug.

[aquacharly]

^thanks for  sharing. Definitely, hindi mababaw ang sagot mo.     
You are lucky not to be  hankering for anything  more from your hubby; and astute, for improving that worrying trait of yours. 

I will do that hugging , instead of singing (at baka gumanti my neighbor, kumanta din, hehe) -- hug and make a positive statement.  .

[hedonista]

Hi Ma'am Aquacharly I'd like to share mine. I have matured in terms of relationship here in GT with your help and other people here (if you still remember me). Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

ONE (1) virtue/trait/ability you  could have possessed or developed earlier, or aim to develop now (if not already possess now)  that would have made  the journey together easier?


HUSBAND - I wish he was more appreciative and demonstrative and that he can communicate verbally without awkwardness. Now we do. 5 years as couple, 1 year and 5 months married. We now communicate well and that made a LOT of difference. Talk talk converse.

ME as WIFE - That I could have developed more confidence and security early. It could have made the journey easier. That I was not a jealous one. But now I can tell that I am better than yesterday. I never gave up on the relationship. The difficult journey made me stronger.

[aquacharly]

Wow, HEDONISTA, you sure made very good use of your 5 years.  I love your positive attitude, you don't gripe nor let your heart crack a little more -- like me.  Hahaha.

Darlings, let us all be recharged by the gems of wisdom QUINONE & HEDONISTA shared.

Baket tahimik kayo dyan?  .   Share! Everybody has something to share.

[maiandra]

Husband - Being appreciative/affirming. He doesn't show it much, but when he does I really point out that I loved hearing that from him, especially recently when he showed support and confidence in me when I was trying to get in my dream company.

Me - Respect for my husband is one trait I have learned. I was debating over respect and forgiveness. But respect won over, since husbands thrive on respect from their wives, and if none is left, that's where the marriage starts to disintegrate.

[sistah!]

my husband have been married for 3 years and we dated for 4 years prior.

For my husband, I wish he had more of a drive. I am by nature, a corporate slave. I live in the rat race. When we were dating, my husband had a good job naman in the states so long distance relationship kami. after the wedding, he decided to stay home na lang. the problem is, ayaw nya yung 9-to-5 life. he wants to have his own business so in the last three years, touch and go. minsan ok ang kita, minsan hindi. minsan pag may money sya, sagana talaga. minsan pag walang pera, wala talaga. this is what annoys me to no end. yung hindi namin mahanap ang spending vibe namin kasi talagang extremes minsan. last year, i gave birth to our baby. it was also the time na season of wala kaya talagang galit yata ako all the time because i had work and baby and had to manage all the additional gastos by myself. my husband is very laid back and relaxed kasi, which is both a good thing and a bad thing.

For me naman, I have always had this flaw of impatience. I snap at the smallest thing. It would be good to not be too absorbed in the future and wanting to be at the next step, next step, next step always.

i think in many ways, that's why we fit so well together, my husband and i. where he is patient, i am not. so i learn. where i am driven, he is not. so he strives. i push him and he pulls me back. God must have a good sense of humor because as different as we are, we have a good life naman.