Mothering or Smothering? Strict ka ba o easygoing mom?

[ms_ldr]

Id say im both.
daughter is 16 mos and i already started disciplining her, meron ako pamalo nakahanda, alam ni baby thats for her. makikita nya pa lang yun behave na sya. she throws tantrums na pag hinde binigay ang gusto. si hubby kasi ang mabaet at malambing ako yung tigre hehe. hubby is starting to learn how to be discipline na, kasi nakikita nya sumusunod sakin. yung panganay ko naman now turning 10, disiplinado na. pero i remember while she was at her toddler age madalas ko mapalo at mapagalitan, kaya ngayon she easily follows. iniimagine ko pano na lang kung ngayon ko pa lang sya dinisiplina, it will be very hard na.
pero after mapalo or mapagalitan, we will kiss and make up na, back to normal moods na ulet.
on the other side naman play with our children and we let them get messy, mag explore, ma experience ma frustrate.
we have rules and routines sa bahay. it should be followed. parents should always set a GOOD example to their childrens.

[bluegintonic]

I noticed that too.We went on vacation just this February and we went to Zoobic. May kid na anlaki na, 4+ na yata and panay pa-karga.Naka Sunday best dress pa and ni ayaw ilapag yata ng parents! I mean, c'mmon, it's a zoo! Kids are supposed to be walking and enjoying. I'm a  reasonable mother, I won't let my daughter play with poop but other wise, I let her be.I let her touch leaves, I let her get wet,play in the sand,pet animals (in a petting zoo) and when it does turn rainy, let her jump in mud and rain puddles (provided she's got her wellies on).Sobrang sheltered ang mga kabataang pinoy, pansin ko lang. Lahat no, don't touch that-either by the mom or the nanny. Lahat halos pati naka-nanny. I think living abroad has its positive-no nanny,natututo both parents and kids to be self reliant.Parang yung sobrang linis natin as Pinoy makes the kids sensory deprived.

[yssayjayla]

Feeling ko, I'm an easy going mom. I let my daughter do what she wants as long as walang masisira or masasaktan.

[jjqxiv]

Joining here. I'd say I'm both but I set limitations. When my girls (ages 21, 20, turning 16 and 10) were younger, I'm the strict kind of mom. My husband's strict but very rare lang, he's the kunsintidor so I look like the kontra-bida always. I admit that my girls grew up with the "what you want, what you get" attitude because of their dad, actually before when they go to shopping, they prefer being with their dad than me because they can get almost everything they want and I'm really against that.

But as they grow older, I let them see the reality of the world, as much as possible I explore them to charity works and as much as possible every Christmas, we have "Project Give It Back" (they personally insisted this one) in different orphanages. With my current youngest who just turned 10 last Wednesday, I let her play outdoors with her cousins and other kids since she was 5, take a bath under the rain with her sisters but of course I teach her not to bully anyone in school or outdoors. She's really maarte and prangka so I always tell her to control herself

While with my young ladies, I taught them to be open and honest to me - they share all their secrets and thoughts, I always tell them that I want a "best friend" kind of relationship but of course there are still limitations. I let the two older girls to go clubbing (their fixed curfew is 3:00 AM) at the age of 16, after high school. I let them go out of towns too as long as they have my approval and if ever they're going with their boyfriends, I make sure they're not sleeping with them and they need to keep in touch with me (text, call and skype). While with the third, I let her to go to soirees already (her curfew's 1:00 AM) I really ask too much when they make paalam like who's with you? How many boys? Will they bring you home? Etc. I think that's normal for a mom who has a daughter (even son sometimes). But I'm lucky that my girls are really understanding and masunurin. Sorry medyo napahaba By the way,  here are they.

[pinkpotato]

I noticed that too.We went on vacation just this February and we went to Zoobic. May kid na anlaki na, 4+ na yata and panay pa-karga.Naka Sunday best dress pa and ni ayaw ilapag yata ng parents! I mean, c'mmon, it's a zoo! Kids are supposed to be walking and enjoying.

I remember my husband with your post.

our daughter is 5 and she's 27kgs. part of our lives is walking all the time so most kids here ay naka stroller pa kahit big na. with my daughter naman basta kasama daddy nya imposibleng di magpakarga pag di namin dala ang stroller and the dad, kahit di na makahinga sa sobrang bigat ng anak, hanggat buhay pa bibibitin nya talaga to. rason nya, hanggang kelan nya mabubuhat ang unica ija? in the next few months or years, edi lalong di na cute so habang pwede pa, ibubuhos nya buong lakas nya.

So anyway, to answer the TS, I think I am both. I can be tolerant but to certain extent. i can be cool, we do things together, sakyan mga kaartehan nya kaya bumabawi din ako sa ibang bagay na kailangan mag adjust din sya. so far i can say that she's a good kid. she listens but since bata, may pagka makulit talaga.

[bluegintonic]

^hindi naman yata mawawala yung pa-karga ng kids eh hahaha...basta ba not all the time, di ba? Magaan pa si baby ko,at 2 years old she's only 11 kilos-coming from parents who aren't big people at all-and siyempre magpapakarga talaga ang bata. The difference is how often magpakarga, diba?

[pinkpotato]

^ well samen when were out with no stroller and daddy is around, imposibleng hindi so if we always go out without the stroller the answer is always.

inaaway ko na nga asawa ko e kasi i can feel talaga na hapong hapo na sya tagatak ang pawis, parang maawa ka naman sa sarili mo, but kiber. he is enjoying their time together. he gets easy hugs and kisses pag bitbit nya bata which makes me jealous (ha!) pero kahit na i won't volunteer kargahin mahuhulog ovary ko sa bigat imagine more than half a sack of rice.

or maybe my husband is just special. like those parents you saw. maybe they have the same reason as my hubby and there is really nothing wrong with that. its actually sweet. 

edit to add: there was a time when my daughter was little, my mom doesnt want her walking. she always tells us, kargahin sayang ang fats. papayat sa kakalakad. hahaha.

[frankikay]

both pero more on easy going mom. lahat ng pagdidisiplina ko sa daughter ko, dinadaan ko lang sa salita. kahit ilang beses ko pang sabihin basta lang maintindihan nya sinabi ko. hindi ako yung tipo na namamalo or yung kahit konting physical kontak type na masaktan ang baby. di ko kaya talaga. ewan ko ba, kahit paluin hands nya di ko talaga magawa eh. yung husband ko ang strict sa pagdiscipline ng baby namin. tataasan lang nya ng boses, natatakot na si baby twice na napalo ni hubby si baby, ako naman ayaw ko maging kunsintidor so hinayaan ko lang as long as mild lang naman yun. i understand yun ang way nya pagdisiplina. pero ang sakit sa dibdib, hindi pa talaga ako nasanay.

[DV]

our daughter is 5 and she's 27kgs. part of our lives is walking all the time so most kids here ay naka stroller pa kahit big na. with my daughter naman basta kasama daddy nya imposibleng di magpakarga pag di namin dala ang stroller and the dad, kahit di na makahinga sa sobrang bigat ng anak, hanggat buhay pa bibibitin nya talaga to. rason nya, hanggang kelan nya mabubuhat ang unica ija? in the next few months or years, edi lalong di na cute so habang pwede pa, ibubuhos nya buong lakas nya.

I have a relative na nag-comment na too big na daw ang anak ko for a stroller (after seeing a photo of us during our SG trip). Puro lakaran naman talaga dyan, you can't force a child to be walking all day without getting tired and wanting a pick-up, so sensible talaga na may stroller. Di rin sa akin fun ang magkarga ng bata, so it's my husband who does that kapag walang stroller. I don't see an issue with parents using a stroller or picking up their children (problema na yun ng nagkakarga at tama naman na sooner or later hindi na talaga magpapakarga 'yan). I don't see it as spoiling a child, I think it's more of a convenience issue. That girl at the zoo, she must have been sleepy or tired or scared of the animals, we don't know, but I'd much rather see a child being picked up than one throwing a tantrum and rolling on the floor.

Sobrang sheltered ang mga kabataang pinoy, pansin ko lang. Lahat no, don't touch that-either by the mom or the nanny. Lahat halos pati naka-nanny. I think living abroad has its positive-no nanny,natututo both parents and kids to be self reliant.Parang yung sobrang linis natin as Pinoy makes the kids sensory deprived.

We don't have a nanny. I live in a third world country where you have to deworm your child, where deadly childhood diseases have not yet been eradicated, where dengue is prevalent and kills children, where good healthcare costs a lot of money, where you have to pay P10 to use a clean toilet with paper towels and soap. I guess we can't fault most Filipino parents for protecting their children and trying to be clean when they can. I don't think Filipino children are sensory deprived, though; if they were, we wouldn't be one of the most creative and happiest peoples in the world.