Author Topic: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman  (Read 12295 times)

xtine

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2014, 06:34:40 pm »
A psychologist and some friends have told me I have a strong personality.  I am very opinionated but if I sense that the person I am talking to is a bit emotional, i will just keep my opinions to myself to avoid any drama or conflict.

I am also not shy to talk to bosses and to strangers, I think I have developed it by working with lots of nationalities.  I am frank but not rude.  I am open to ideas and cultures because i now understand that my filipino culture is not the culture practised by the rest of the world.  So if there are some disagreements like for instance in religion, then I just listen and get interested instead of pushing for what I believe.

Now that I have developed this personality, I am not often swayed by opinions.  Sometimes, if people are trying to insult me i just shrug it off because basically, I know who I am and I know that I want.  I have also dated filipino guys and it seems my personality does not match with theirs. 

I get off when a guy will tell me "mayaman ka siguro" or "naks! big time".  Those are just the comments that I find too off because basically, when I am telling stories, I am just telling stories.  I am not putting myself in the pedestal.  However, when I talk to non-filipinos, they get fascinated and they even contribute their own stories without making you feel that they are competing with you.  It's like a simple sharing of stories, a worthwhile conversation. 

I just think that its actually a filipino mentality to be emotional, needs to be lambingin always and to sugar coat something that you want to say, else they will say you're rude. 

My close friends right now are few close filipinos and some non filipinos.  I used to work with filipinos before but I have make sure that i sugar coat what I want to say, else they get offended and if I want to ask favor, I need to make lambing, else I will come off as demanding.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2014, 06:43:41 pm by xtine »

Samsy

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #21 on: December 09, 2014, 06:12:02 am »
I find it odd that some men use "strong and opinionated" to refer to a woman as if it is an off putting trait. If a man takes on the same set of characteristics, people would say he's in control and a boss. People would think he's cool. So I say own it! Forget that naysayers. We are not here for the pleasure of men. Speak your mind. This world needs more women speaking their minds.
"You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time." - Louis CK

mamichula

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #22 on: April 29, 2015, 06:42:13 pm »
YOu just gotta find someone who will find you being strong and opinionated attractive. Some guys appreciate women like that.

Never really wanted to get married since I'm like that and I thought I'd never find a man who'll like headstrong women like me. Pero my husband thought its a complete turn on and he liked the fact that I will kick him out of the house the moment he messes up. Haha thrill seeker ata sya!

He says all the women he's dated in the past are doormats, oo lang nang oo wala daw sariling desisyon. IN short deads na deads sa kanya so kahit anung sabihin nya agree lang nang agree. In the long run nakaka bore daw yun kasama.

When we started dating he found me exciting LOL and in his words "Astig" sometimes lang now that we're married he says ganun daw pala ang strong women kahit asawa mo na strong pa din forever and ever LOL

But I guess he's happy that I keep him on his toes.

cupcakejane

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2017, 10:50:43 pm »
I'm exactly like this and yes, it did scare my husband away.  Now I question myself somehow if things would have been different had I toned down my personality a bit and what not.

kvan

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2017, 11:11:10 pm »
I am one of those girls na diretso magsalita. Hindi talaga natural asa akin ang magpa-sweet, nauumay ako...lol! Pero, guys nowadays like it especially dito sa Canada. Yung mga bagets yun ang gusto...lol!
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hisana

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2017, 09:35:00 am »
Nothing wrong with being a strong opinionated woman, but also I agree na siguraduhin lang na may sense naman ang sinasabi at tama ang ginagawa. Meron kasi iba, they excuse their brash behavior as being confident, pero sa totoo lang, they're already offensive and disrespectful to others. This is just plain being self-centered and nothing to be admired about.

DeathToMondays

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Re: Coming on as a strong and opinionated woman
« Reply #26 on: June 23, 2017, 11:41:50 pm »
There is a time, place, and manner for speaking one's mind and for being silent, but silence in times of injustice often does more harm than good, especially if only to keep the peace. Being opinionated shouldn't be equated with being combative and contrarian; there are plenty of women who can deliver powerful ideas graciously, respectably, yet efficiently.

That said, weak and egotistical men are easily threatened by women with strong personalities, so much that the mere act of a woman standing up for herself is offensive to them; the same goes for women who are brainwashed by the patriarchy about old-fashioned gender roles.

 


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